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FIND MR. / MS RIGHT: I have the secret, tips..HOW -TO!*

Vol. 2, No. 39, February 20th 2012
TITLE: “FIND MR./MS RIGHT: I have the secret, tips..HOW-TO!*”

INTRODUCTION
If looking for Mr./Ms Right, I have an opinion.  Is he or she a Fantasy or Reality?
Hence, my topic is true love and finding it. My book of the week is: “Looking for Mr. or Ms Right” [Paperback] by Roselaine Joseph (Author).  (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)
P.S. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say… you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment?  I’ll try not to interrupt.

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 26th 2012): Whew, Valentine’s Day has come and passed. Now, I’m thinking about the other loves in my life … my grandkids. The topic is disciplining children. One question that I ask is: “Do we spank or not?” I encourage you to come by. I won’t be cross if you disagree. I promise not to send you to sit in the corner! (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on family, child rearing, education, etc.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

Before I met my Mr. Right, my goal was to meet the right person. I attended many single events in the hope of meeting him. One of the events that I attended was a play and dinner at a restaurant. The play was about a man who was looking for a perfect woman with whom he could share his life. He wrote down 10 qualities, which he wanted in this woman. During his search, he confides in a friend. The first woman arrived at the door. She had all 10 of the requested qualities; but he then discovered that there was one quality that he found problematic. Thus, he altered his list to make that particular quality suit him. She left and soon another woman arrived at the door. The new woman was not working out either. This went on woman after woman. At the end of the play, he tells his friend that he has come to a new conclusion. There is no perfect match!

The question is: “Who is my Mr. Right?” I say that I found him – he is Mr. Right for me and that’s what’s important.

THE AUTHOR: Roselaine Joseph

Raised in Florida, Roselaine Joseph is interested in the right relationships between men and women. Divorced, she knows that mistakes happen – she has lived them. She knows that the divorce rate is high. She believes that life is made happier by a relationship. So do I. She passionately believes in writing to uplift and bring laughter, but she also wants people to learn something that they can use in betterment of their daily lives. I like that.

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles:
Several are:
• Looking for Mr or Mrs Right – Paperback – March 2008 (published through AuthorHouse)
• Nightmare – Paperback – January 2009
• Nightmare – Paperback – January 2008

THE BOOK: “Looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right” by Roselaine Joseph (Author)
Roselaine Joseph is a romantic exploring the meaning of love. She thinks that communication and honesty are way up on the ‘must-do’ list. (I say that partners should be on the same page, both literally and figuratively pushing or pulling in the same direction.) She says that bad decisions and mistakes can be avoided. She uses shared experiences to illustrate her thinking. Men and women, single or in a relationship will find something useful here.

CONCLUSION
The controversial question is “Looking for Mr./Ms Right – is he or she a fantasy or a reality?” In any event, the right person is hard to find.

Personal Comments
Here are some thoughts that I have:

We all want to live happily ever after.

Mr./Ms Right is on the mind of most people. It’s what we all aim for. While you want what you want, remember, that you need to be Mr./Ms Right to the other person. I ask you to ask yourself: “Am I?”
There is no such thing as “Love at First Sight”.
Chances are the person who you have in mind is not your perfect match. Your soulmate will probably not be what you’re expecting.
Accept him/her for whom he/she is; don’t try to change him/her.
You need a loving partner who, by his/her presence will improve you; and will love you unconditionally. But that also means, in turn, that by your presence you will improve him/her, and that you must love him/ her unconditionally. Indeed, it takes two to tango
It’s a two way street. I say: Give to the right person and you’ll receive!

The Point

Each of us has a certain person in mind, with whom he or she would like to spend the rest of the life given us.

This special person is not the same for everyone. Mr. Right for you might not be Mr. Right for me.

As long as he or she has most of the qualities, that you’re looking for in a person, you should consider yourself fortunate.

He or she must have compatible values. But chemistry between two people is also very important.

If you’re expecting to feel butterflies in your stomach every moment that you look at your mate, you’re not being realistic.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

Everyone should:
1. Recognize that women and men are different – “Vive la difference!”
2. Make yourself visible and get out there.
3. Be natural and confident on your search for Mr./Ms Right.; in this regard,

3.1 Keep an open-mind when meeting someone.

3.2 Don’t shut the person down at first glance.
3.3 Give the person a chance – you might be pleasantly surprised.
3.4 Try to get to know what he or she is about.

3.5 Pay attention to body language when meeting someone new;

4. Do not count on love at first sight – awareness of a soulmate might not be immediate.
5. Know that your soulmate will probably be someone who is not what you originally expected.

I found the secret to true love. My Mr. Right, with a big smile on his face, tells me often that he is nearly perfect. I smile back not saying much. He knows that I know that he is not perfect. But, I, on the other hand, know that I am a perfect 10. (Strictly between you and me ,… I’m just kidding). I think that he knows that’s true. With this understood, we get along very well…

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: True Love
“On the morning after Jack Benny’s death, his widow, Mary, received a single long-stemmed rose from the local florist. When another rose was delivered the next day, Mary called the florist and was told her of an order her husband had placed before he died: He had made provision in his will for the florist to supply “one perfect red rose daily for the rest of Mary’s life.”
(Source: Anecdotege) -http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=684

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Automotive Genius
“A real-life Gatsby, Walter Chrysler had got rich enough fast enough to marry his beautiful Daisy, only to realize that the true love of his life was his car. As a young husband and fgather, he blew the family savings and went deep into debt to buy a brand-new Locomobile, whose ivory body he recalled for decades as his ’siren’s song.’ “He didn’t long so much to drive it though – he waited three months for that – as to dissect it, working in his garage over every valve and knob until he could have built the vehicle from scratch. ‘Had I been Aladdin,’ he wrote, ‘I’d have taken that old lamp apart to see if I could make another, better lamp.’”
(Source: Anecdotage) - http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=15510
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Good One
“In 1997, Robert Downey Jr had his probation revoked (after yet another drug-fueled binge) and was sentenced to serve six months in a Los Angeles County jail. One day, he was surprised to have convicted celebrity wife-beater Tommy Lee join him in his cell. “Hey man,” Downey said by way of introduction, “it’s good to see you!” [Lee was a little less enthused: "This isn't really where I want to say hi," he remarked... Among Downey's other memorable moments? Muttering about being patient and finding love while scrubbing toilets with another prisoner, and, more dangerously, wearing a yellow flower stuck behind his ear.]”
(Source: Anecdoatge) - http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=11342

S & R* QUOTE #1: Paul Newman
“I don’t like to discuss my marriage, but I will tell you something which may sound corny but which happens to be true. I have steak at home. Why should I go out for hamburger?”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

S & R* QUOTE #2: Richard Bach
“True love stories never have endings.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

S & R* QUOTE #3:Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama
“The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “falling in love”; “love”; “soulmate”
Fall in Love
“In romantic relationships, “falling in love” is mainly a Western term used to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards a person to one of love. The use of the term “fall” implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky, irreversible, or that it puts the lover in a state of vulnerability, in the same way the word “fall” is used in the phrase “to fall ill” or “to fall into a trap”. The term is generally used to describe an (eventual) love that is strong, although not necessarily permanent.”
Love
“Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.[1] Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and “the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”.[2]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love)
Soulmate
“A soulmate (or soul mate) is believed by some to be the person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, sex, intimacy,
sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate)

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“According to Theosophy, whose claims were modified by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls—equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or “separation from God.” Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.[2][3]
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate)
Age at First Marriage
Since the 1950s, the median age at first marriage has risen for both men and women, increasing from 23 for men and 20 for women in 1950, to 28 for men and 26 for women in 2009.9 Table 3 shows the percentages of men and women who were ever married, ever divorced, or married two or more times by selected ages. Data are shown for 5-year birth cohorts, from 1940 to 1944 through 1980 to 1984. Reflecting the rise in the median age at first marriage, the percentages of men and women born in 1980 to 1984 who were married by age 20 (7 percent and 16 percent, respectively) were about one thrd the percentages of those born in 1940 to 1944 (22 percent and 48 percent, respectively).An examination of the trends in the proportions of people ever divorced is more complicated because this indicator is a function of the proportions of both people getting married and those getting divorced. Data from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) indicate that the annual divorce rate for married women increased sharply from 15 to 20 divorces per 1,000 between 1970 and 1975, a period when divorce laws were changing. However, subsequent estimates indicate that the divorce rate per 1,000 married women leveled off at about 20 per 1,000 women in the mid-1970s and stayed at about that level through the mid-1990s. Most of us take only one trip down the aisle. Among all currently married couples in 2009, 72 percent were made up of a man and woman who were each in their first marriage. Looking only at recently married couples, which gives us an idea of current patterns, 65 percent of couples who married during 2008 were in their first marriage.At the other end of the spectrum, a small percentage, just 1 percent, of currently married couples consisted of a husband and wife who had both been married three or more times. Another 6 percent of currently married couples included one spouse who was in at least their third marriage. Between these extremes, 22 percent of currently married couples included at least one spouse who was in their second marriage.Couples who got married during 2008 looked similar, with 25 percent including at least one spouse who was in their second marriage and a slightly higher 9 percent including one spouse in their third or higher order marriage.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) - http://www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/p70-125.pdf)

SCHEDULE III

S & R* NEWS ALERT*: Respect and kindness will bring you lasting love

“(NC)—The majority of seniors over the age of 75 say love and romance remains an important aspect of their lives. That’s just one of the key findings from the Revera Report on Romance.

Mendel and Valerie, residents at Revera’s Pine Villa Retirement Residence, couldn’t agree more and want to share their advice for a lasting relationship.

Mendel and Valerie met at a dance in Ottawa shortly after World War Two. Now married 60 years, the couple say they get along so well that they rarely have any disagreements. Their advice for a lasting relationship is to always try to be respectful and kind to each other, regardless of the situation. After six decades of marriage, three children and eight grandchildren, Mendel still counts his blessings. “Valerie’s love and compassion,” he says, “makes me the luckiest man in the world.”

More stories of love and romance from today’s seniors – as well as the full romance report—are available online at www.reveraliving.com.”

www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT*: Baby boomers: Love the second time around

“(NC)— Family portraits have changed in recent year as couples merge their lives through second marriages. Half of all divorced Canadians have remarried reports Statistics Canada. An additional 22 per cent of divorced men and women intend to remarry. “A second marriage can be a beautiful occasion, but it comes with certain challenges of combining finances and families,” said Elaine Wilson, vice president of Fiduciary Trust Company of Canada. “Ensure you discuss the details of merging your lives before you say ‘I do’ again.”

A few things you should consider before remarriage are:

Financial planning: Meet with your investment advisor to go over your financial situation. There may be changes that you need to make with spousal RRSPs and your investments. Consider the possibility of a prenuptial agreement prior to marriage to protect your individual finances.

Estate planning: As with a first marriage, remarriage invalidates your existing will unless it has been specifically prepared in consideration of this wedding. With an estate planning professional, prepare a new will to reflect the change in marital status and revised estate plan. You may want to consider creating a trust to ensure that your children, new spouse and possibly new family are taken care of in the future.

Retirement’s looming: Remember that you have less time to save for a joint retirement. Discuss what you have each saved already, your investments and what your retirement plans are for the future to ensure that you have continued wedded bliss.

More information on financial and estate planning is available at www.fiduciarytrust.ca.”

www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on February 20th, 2012 Read More 1 Comment

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.* Volume #2

Vol. 2, No. 38, February 12th 2012

TITLE: “BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*Volume #2″

INTRODUCTION

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching … two days and counting. To help you in the mating dance, I wrote my first blog post titled, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*”(Vol. 2, No. 22, October 23, 2011). Last week, I did an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. I had a lot of material … Here is my 2nd installment. It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. Let’s go. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 19th 2012): If looking for Mr./Ms. Right, I have an opinion. Let’s dialogue. If you want straight talk, come on over. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say… you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment? I’ll try not to interrupt. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

During the time that I was attending my single events, I would observe, from a distance, a man putting the moves on a woman. It was interesting to watch. But when I was the object of a man’s attention, it was personal … and I fretted a little. I knew that if a man was interested in me – I needed to look for hints at what he was looking for. That was my focus and the number one piece of information that I wanted. I tried to pay attention to his signals, if any. I asked myself, “Was he presenting himself as somebody respectable?”

When all else failed, I went with my intuition.

During my single days, I was told many times by my male friends that I was sending out the wrong signals. Apparently, my body language was saying: “I’m not open to meeting a man. Don’t come near me, I do not want to be approached.”. I realized that I had to change. I needed to transmit a ‘come-on-over’ message. Soon, I was meeting men. Alas, my body language was now giving out the right signals.
Body language is a form of communication. Although I don’t speak it well and I don’t understand it well, I recognize that I do it … we all do. But some of us do it better than others. While I’m not an expert – I wanted to learn more about reading and sending body language. Now I want to share with you all what I have learned.

THE AUTHOR: Tonya Reiman
Tonya Reiman experienced life as a child born in the sixties. She attended Pace University and graduated with a General Studies degree. A life changing experience was an incident when a psychology professor came ‘nose- to- nose’ with her in order to demonstrate the significance of “personal space”. She is a Certified Hypnotist, holding a NGH certification; she had a private practice, No Boundaries Hypnosis, in Smithtown, Long Island. She is an author and motivational speaker. She is a political commentator, featured as a contributor on The O’Reilly Factor and on the Fox News Channel She penned articles on body language published in Cosmopolitan, Life & Style, Time, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Woman’s World and Positive Thinking.
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonya_Reiman)

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books/Articles:
Several of her books are:
•”The Yes Factor: Get What You Want, Say What You Mean, the Power of Persuasive Communication”.
•”The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter”

THE BOOK: “The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy” by Tonya Reiman
I started with the question: ”What attracts the opposite sexes to one another?” I also wondered what makes us attractive. In this book, Reiman, a history lover, considered the topic of human attraction and seduction and asks how it’s changed through the years. She looks at body parts both male and female. She wants to know, if and why, each is attractive or unattractive. She recognizes dating success or failure. She explains that attraction is: a) Biological; b) Physical; c) Chemical; d) Mental. Her message is also that attraction: is: e) Detectable; f) Manageable and g) Maneuverable. Reiman has made a contibution to the knowedge on seduction, conversation, connection, and enduring romance. It’s a HOW-TO guide. If ovcr 18, you have a learners’ permit. Read it and meet Cupid sooner than later.

Personal Comments

Winning at love starts at the preliminary round. This is the warm up and flirting is on the menu. If interested, this is where the signal is to be sent. In the dating game, suceess or failure depends upon correctly reading body language and giving off the right non-verbal signals.
Flirting is not necessarily an invitation for or offer of sex.
Be conscious that your body language reveals how you feel about others.
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects when you meet someone. Maintaining the right level comes across as showing courtesy plus the interest in what the person has to say. Holding someone in a long gaze is a sure sign of interest. Other signals may be more subtle.
Once you send an inviting signal to the opposite sex, it’s harder to shut down the opening. It could then get uncomfortable or even dangerous.
Learn to read body language correctly. Observe people. Try to guess what’s on their mind.
Look for eye contact, strong hand shake – ask youself, “What is revealed by his or her body language?” He or she is responding to stimuli, consciously or unconsciously.
Reading someone clearly is job #1 - doing this better can save you a lot of headaches.
Be careful to send out the right message. Subconsciously, at times, we may be sending the wrong message.

The Point

The skill is knowing what to look for and being observant. Learning to read body language is a very useful social skill. The knack is also to make your signals fit your wishes.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET* Volume #2
Everyone in the dating scene should note:

11. Eye level:

11.1 Eyes:

a) Good: (i). Prolonged glance (as opposed to a quick glance) is an indication of interest; (ii). Moving the eyes sideways is an act that might be bold or flirtatious; (iii). Looking quickly to the right might indicate fascination or a positive remembrance; (iv). Looking up and down is a scanning move, looking for information;
b) Noteworthy: (i). Looking down – a head down is an indication of shyness. For women, gazing downwards could be a reflex – it could be a defensive or deferential stance. Or, if in their ‘inspector’ mode, theyprobably are looking at a man’s shoes since footwear is an indicator of personality. (ii). Blinking too much might be a sign of nervousness; (iii). Averting eye contact could be a sign of deceit; (iv). Winking is not cute – it is a defensive manoeuver; (vi). Looking quickly to the left might show any one of: anxiety, fear or lying - you guess.

c) Bad: (i). Rolling up eyes is a sign of rejection; (ii). Closing eyes is a shut off sign - it indicates a person is exhibiting contrary attitude and saying: “I will not listen to you or abide by your wishes”. (N.B. Sometimes, it could be an indication of an intelligent person, taking a moment to think and formulate a good answer. (iii). Staring hard is behaviour that could be either evasive or indicative of one pulling rank, being aggressive or threatening. (N.B. Staring back is a measured response.)

11.2 Eyebrows: a) Both raised says that he or she would like to talk to you; b) One raised indicates skepticism;

11.3 Movements at face level: a) Wearing sun glasses unduly, (especially indoors), might be an indication of a desire to hide; b) Stroking finger with forefinger could show deception; c) Holding up a coffee cup could be defensive in order to create something of a barrier; d) Tugging ear shows indecision and uncertainty, maybe even deceit.

12. Nose: a) Nose movements: (i). Flaring nose is indication of anger and rage; (ii). Nose in air means feelings of superiority; (iii). Twisted nose shows disapproval or disgust; (iv). Wrinkled nose shows mild- level disapproval; (b) Contact to nose: (i). Holding nose is a gesture that means that something is rotten; (ii). Touching nose is an indication of someone unsure or hiding something; (iii). Poking finger inside a nostril is not only gross, but maybe an indication that something else is going on; (iv). Putting finger on nose shows feeling of great revulsion;

13. Mouth:

13.1 Types of smile:

a) Small: It shows: (i). Non-aggression; the non-verbal statement is: ”I’m not going to attack you”. (ii). Happiness; (iii). Approval; (iv). Ease & comfort;

b) Large & open: It shows friendliness; the non-verbal statement is: ”Lets get together”.

c) Tight: It could show: (i). Embarrassment- something internal is not being exhibited externally;

d) Angry: It’s a combo indicator of someone pretending to be positive, but in reality, feeling extreme displeasure. This is passive- aggressive behavior.

e) Nervous: It shows discomfort;

13.2 Movements:

a) Puckering lips: It’s the start of a kiss; it’s disclosure of an intent to be romantic … you connect the dots.

b) Pursing lips: It shows tenseness or disapproval;

c) Biting lips: It’s an indicator of great anger;

d) Starting to laugh: It could be a precursor of inflicting punishment;

13.3 Contact to mouth:

a) Finger on lower lip: The non-verbal statement is: ”I want to talk to you”.

b) Hand over mouth: This suggests to me that a lie is being told; The non-verbal statement is: ”I am looking for a substitute”.

14. Head movements:

a) Nodding shows agreement. The non-verbal statement is: ”I am listening to you”.

b) Resting head on hands might indicate tiredness; the non-verbal statement is: ”I cannot understand what you are saying but I want to”.

c) Rubbing neck is a sign of uncertainty;

d) Stroking one’s chin might signify a state of intense reflection and pensiveness;

e) Rubbing one’s chin might be an indication of disbelief of what is being told;

f) Yawning – a social yawn could signify mild stress.

15. Arms:

a) Showing hands is a positive signal. It’s s a fact that a person in authority like law enforcement always asks to see a suspect’s hands. It illustrates openness by a person, such building trust.
b) Lifting up arms is a movement that is strong and dominant.

c) Touching someone on the shoulder is also dominant.

d) Placing arms behind head exposing body core shows no fear. This wide-open gesture indicates an outgoing person, someone confident and extraordinary.

e) Putting arm over next chair shows someone taking over more space. The non-verbal statement is: ”I am in control”.

f) Holding hands behind the back signifies confidence and ease in exposing one’s body core. It also shows leadership and a sense of control. This is typical of Prince Phillip, consort of Queen Elizabeth.

g) Holding one hand above the other shows frustration.

h) Folding arms in front is a defensive manoeuver; the non-verbal statement is: ”I am not happy, I see negativesly maybe even full blown dislike. I am impatient to get away from you”.

i) Crossing arms is an indication of anxiety.

j) Putting palm out is a negative response. The non-verbal statement is: ”I don’t know if I can help you”.
k) Placing arms on hips and smiling is not a good sign if a man – he is looking for an arrangement with a woman, ‘bimbo style’.

l) Showing armpits by a woman siugnifies a sexual opening. The non-verbal statement is: ”Let’s do it!”

16. Posture:

16.1 Standing:

a) Standing-up straight with good posture signifies someone positive and reliable. I think standing up straight and tall makes one look bigger to the other person.

16.2 Sitting

a) Sitting-up straight, both feet on the ground and straight back signifies rigidity and persistence over and above a positive attitude and reliability.

b) Sprawling out suggests someone negative and undisciplined.

c) Crossing legs (by a man) shows stubbornness.

d) Hugging a leg (by a man) is a positive sign. The non-verbal statement is: ”I am ready for the coming encounter”.

e) Sitting on edge of seat signifies eagerness and readiness to leave; the non-verbal statement is: ”I’m going to be going”.
f) Leaning forward signifies someone being adventurous, a real risk taker; the non-verbal statement is: ”I am opportunistic”.

g) Straddling a chair (by a man) signifies that I am not conventional. The non-verbal statement is: ”I’m in my house and talking charge”.

h) Putting hand under chair (by a man) signifies that he is interested.

17. Proxemics: This is the space between people. If intimate, it starts at 18 inches going to 4 feet. A distance of 12 feet is a bit much. Closer signifies interest and further shows disinterest. Appropriate signifies respect and inapproriate shows lack of concern over social propriety.

18. Body positioning:

a) Taking big steps signifies confidence and individualism (as opposed to little steps which indicates much less confidence.) The non-verbal statement is: ”I am forthright!”

b) Taking little steps signifies much less confidence. The non-verbal statement is: ”I am cautious!”.

c) Leaning back is closed.

d) Clamping back at neck is a gesture showing anger.

e) Leaning against doorway is showing interest and desire to make the deal. The non-verbal statement is: ”Don’t leave… let’s continue the conversation”.

19. Body Movements

a) Copying the acts of another person – this is where a person duplicates the movements of someone else. This mirroring effect, on the surface shows interest and is complimentary, but matching could foretell lack of self perception of self -worth. Someone who exhibits copycat behavior doesn’t see himself or herself highly. The non-verbal statement is: ”Use caution”.
b) Tapping foot on floor: The standstill action signifies the desire to go. The non-verbal statement is: ”I am bored …I want to run…”

c) Wrapping legs around signifies a sense of attachment. The non-verbal statement is: ”I am related…”

d) Crossing leg on leg high on the knee, with soul of shoe visible: This is bad. The act of showing the soul of your shoe is highly disrespectful to people particularly in the Middle East.

e) Hugging one’s foot: This signifies a bit panicky The non-verbal statement is: ”I am afraid of this situation..”

20. Hands

a) Hand Shakes: (i). Firm hand shake – this is good; the non-verbal statement is: ”Yes”. (ii). Soft but firm, social hand shake (suitable for a woman) – this is good; the non-verbal statement is: ”Yes”. (iii). Bone-shattering shake - this is extremely offensive; the non-verbal statement is: ”No”. (iv). Limp shake – this is very bad; the non-verbal statement is: ”No”.

(v). Two-handed double clasp - This is confident and near dominant behavior, possibly a tad pushy. The non-verbal statement is: ” I am being true blue, trustworthy and I accept your hospitality;

b) Drawing fingers: Playing with one’s fingers is distracting and shows insecurity; the non-verbal statement is: ”I want to run away”.

c) Putting hands away: It is suggestive of secrecy; the non-verbal statement is: ”I am not interested in you”.

d) Making a fist: It is indicative of anger and acceptance to the use of aggression; the non-verbal statement is: ”I want to hit you”.

e) Offering an open hand: It is suggestive of welcome; the non-verbal statement is: ”I am interested in you”.

f) Jingling keys or change: This fidgeting behaviour shows nervousness or tension; the non-verbal statement is: ”I am not happy being here”.

g) Pulling at pants: It signifies disbelief; the non-verbal statement is: ”I don’t believe in you as a person and what you are saying”.

h) Fiddling wedding ring (by a man): It indicates to me that something is wrong with his current relationship; the non-verbal statement is: “I am not ree and clear. My suggestion is: ”Run like the wind”.

i) Stroking a tie (by a man): It signifies to me that he earnestly wants to make a good impression; the non-verbal statement is: ”Stop and look at me …slow down take a really good look!”.

j) Hand steeple gesture (upwards): This complex hand move signifies that I am a thoughtful person, showing confidence; the non-verbal statement is: ”I am intelligent and smart just like Mr Spock, Sherlock Holmes, etc.;

k) Hand steeple gesture (downwards): This complex hand move more often used by women; the non-verbal statement is: ”I am a good listener”.

21. Hand signs

21.1 “OK” hand sign: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad:  a) Western democracies: Everthing is alright! b) Japan: Money; c) France: Zero! (worthless) d) Turkey:  Gay; e) Germany:  Something rude; f) Greece: Something obscene;
21.2. Churchill’s ”V” sign: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Outside hand – the message is: “Up yours”; b) Inside hand (Europe) – Seeing that in medieval times, a victorious army might cut off the two fingers of an archer from the losing army, this sign is indicative of removing your offensive or defensive capability;
21.3 Thumbs up sign: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Canada, China, etc.:  Good; b) Australia, Iran: The message is: “Up yours”; c) Nigeria: The expletive is: “F??k”

21.4 Beckoning finger (calling) gesture: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Phillipines: Something nasty; b) Asia: The non-verbal statement is: ”Welcome, please come in and spend money (it’s also good luck.)
21.5 Pointing finger ‘like a gun’ gesture: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) This is indicative of someone angry and unfriendly; and if poking, it signifies dominance, anger, aggressiveness, the threat of assault; the non-verbal statement is: ”Don’t come closer”.

21.6 Stop gesture (5 fingers): Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Turkey – It says: “You’ll get nothing out of me”. b) West Africa – It says: “5 fathers”; c) Greece – It is highly insulting;

Body language will shed light on a potential suitor (for women) and a future love interest (for men). Stop, look and listen to the signals being sent loud and clear. Have a LOVELY Valentine’s Day!

==============================================================================================
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Julia Sweeney: Pat
“Julia Sweeney once revealed the inspiration behind her classic character – the androgynous “Pat” – on “Saturday Night Live”: “I’d been an accountant for like five years, and there was one person I worked with in particular who had a lot of mannerisms like Pat. This person sort of drooled and had the kind of body language of Pat. I started trying to do him. I was testing it out on my friends and they were just like, ‘Yeah, it’s good, but it doesn’t seem like a guy that much.’ Like I couldn’t quite pull off being in drag convincingly enough. So then I thought, maybe that’s the joke. I’ll just have one joke in here about we don’t know if that’s a man or a woman just to sort of cover up for my lack of ability to really play a guy convincingly!”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=21285)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Muammar Qaddafi: Body Language
“In March 2004, Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi met with British Prime Minister Tony Blair for a widely-televised interview in a tent in the desert. Only later did Blair learn that showing another man the soles of one’s feet, as Qaddafi did (to Blair) throughout the interview, was understood by Arabs as a major sign of disrespect.”
(Source: Anecdotage) - http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=19368)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3:Nixon Down Under
“One day during his presidency, Richard Nixon landed in Australia for a state visit. As he stepped from the plane, Nixon made a peace sign (as was his custom) to signify solidarity with his Aussie hosts. Some time later he was delicately informed that, in Australia, the so-called ‘peace sign’ (unless the palm is facing out) is the equivalent of an American display of the middle finger.”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=2263)
S & R* QUOTE #1: Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday.”
(Source: Wisom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index14.html)
S & R* QUOTE #2: Benjamin Franklin
“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
S & R* QUOTE #3: Captain Jean-Luc Picard
“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. played by Patrick Stewart, from the film “Star Trek: Generations”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “body language”;
Body Language
“Body language is a form of mental and physical ability of human non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“It is important to note that some indicators of emotion (e.g. smiling/laughing when happy, frowning/crying when sad) are largely universal;[citation needed],[4] however in the 1990s Paul Ekman expanded his list of basic emotions, including a range of positive and negative emotions, not all of which are encoded in facial muscles.[13] The newly included emotions are:
A study in body language.
1. Amusement
2. Contempt
3. Contentment
4. Embarrassment
5. Excitement
6. Guilt
7. Pride in achievement
8. Relief
9. Satisfaction
10. Sensory pleasure
11. Shame
Body language signals may have a goal other than communication. People would keep both these two in mind. Observers limit the weight they place on non-verbal cues. Signalers clarify their signals to indicate the biological origin of their actions. Examples would include yawning (sleepiness), showing lack of interest (sexual interest/survival interest), attempts to change the topic (fight or flight drivers).
Physical expression
“Physical expressions like waving, pointing, touching and slouching are all forms of nonverbal communication. One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest.[6] This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. Consistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn’t trust the speaker enough to “take their eyes off” the speaker. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin.Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused.Interest can be indicated through posture or extended eye contact, such as standing and listening properly.[citation needed] Deceit or the act of withholding information can sometimes be indicated by touching the face during conversation. Excessive blinking is a well-known indicator of someone who is lying. Recently[when?], evidence has surfaced that the absence of blinking can also represent lying as a more reliable factor than excessive blinking. [7″
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: WOZA
WOZA gives roses as a symbol of love and peace on Valentine’s Day This Valentine’s Day, courageous women in Zimbabwe will be handing out paper roses in the streets. Jenni Williams, the leader of Women of Zimbabwe Arise (WOZA), has lost count of how many times she has been arrested maybe 37 or 38, she says. Jenni and her colleague, Magodonga Mahlangu, are only two of the many women who have been arrested, ill-treated, intimidated and harassed for their peaceful human rights work in this southern African country. Members often give out paper roses during their peaceful marches to symbolize their slogan of love and peace. At a Valentine’s Day event in Bulawayo last year, WOZA marched with banners proclaiming The Power of Love can conquer the Love of Power and handed out roses to the public. Three of the 53 women arrested had simply been watching. At trial, the prosecutor decided against legal action, and the activists walked free after paying fines.WOZA was formed in 2003 to defend human rights amidst the political violence in Zimbabwe, and continues their work today by mobilizing to improve living conditions for all Zimbabweans. WOZA members organize vocal and colourful peaceful demonstrations to protest
government policies that lead to a worsening social, economic and human rights situation in the country. Police arrest even children, women carrying babies and pregnant women. Officers release many without charge, but take advantage of repressive legislation such as the Public Order and Security Act and the Miscellaneous Offences Act to charge some of them.The government, in an effort to prevent public protest and criticism of its policies, has become increasingly intolerant of the work of human rights defenders and is actively seeking to silence them. WOZA members will continue by peaceful means to use their freedom to meet together and criticize government policy. Members of Amnesty International around the world are calling for the protection of WOZA members and all human rights defenders in Zimbabwe. A free information kit about how to help protect the rights of people in Zimbabwe and other countries around the world is available from Amnesty International, 1992 Yonge Street, Suite #315, Toronto, Ontario, M4S 1Z7, or
at www.amnesty.ca/zimbabwe.
www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Tips for singles on Valentine’s Day By Maja Begovic
Valentine’s Day can conjure up feelings of loneliness for those without a mate. But being alone is cheaper, easier, and it’s probably better than going out on some random date, or being with a person you’ve been meaning to break up with for months. If you don’t have a date, don’t stay at home and pout. Here are some ideas to help you celebrate the day of love:
1. Realize that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.
2. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine’s Day.
3. Resist the temptation to turn off your phone and crawl into bed early. Book a deep tissue massage at a fantastic spa, followed by a manicure and pedicure. Host a fondue party or a potluck at your house, or grab a few single friends and book a sightseeing flight over your city.
4. Do you know a couple with children who never go out because they just don’t feel they can afford a babysitter? Offer them a free night of babysitting and let them enjoy a romantic night out.
5. Nothing spreads the love faster than doing a little volunteer work. Take time to remember your good fortune and learn about how you can help improve the lives of children living in poverty through a non-profit organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada (www.ccfcanada.ca).
6. If you are single, but would rather not be, think about what is standing in the way of you and a new relationship. Find ways to work on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with. Start therapy. Take up yoga. Take action to change the world. It is into the fullest lives that love is most likely to fall.
www.newscanada.com
TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved

Posted by alaposta on February 12th, 2012 Read More 12 Comments

Antoinette’s Famous Liquor Cake(Famoso torta di liquore di Antonietta)

Vol. 2, No. 4, February 11th, 2012
CUCINA D’ANTOINETTA*(Antonietta’s Kitchen*) “the art of food, wine, family & more*”By Antonietta La Posta

TITLE: “Famoso torta di liquore di Antonietta*” (“Antoinette’s Famous Liquor Cake*”)

SPECIAL ALERT: URGENCY – HIGHEST LEVEL (INTRODUCTION)

Attention all wannabe seductresses and pickup artists! With the coming of Valentine’s Day, romance and dating is on the minds of many people. Can you just picture a party for two? It’s hot…hot…hot! If eating in, once the pre-dinner drinks are done and after the main dish has been served and enjoyed, what should come next? I suggest that you serve him or her my famous liquor cake? Here’s my toast: “Salute amore mio!” If tempted, read on…(Editor’s Note: This is a kitchen section of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 12th 2012): Valentine’s Day is fast approaching…two days and counting. To help you in the mating dance, I wrote my first blog post titled, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*”(Vol. 2, No. 22, October 23, 2011). Last week, I did an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. I had a lot of material…Tomorrow, Feb. 12, 2012, I will offer my 2nd installment. Why don’t you come by and check it out? It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*
This was my Mom’s recipe. It’s a very delicious cake. But it’s not for everyday as it is made with whiskey and so it is expensive to make.

SAVORY INGREDIENTS PLUS*
Several are:

Eggs
“Eggs laid by females of many different species, including birds, reptiles, amphibians, and fish, have been eaten by mankind for millennia. Bird and reptile eggs consist of a protective eggshell, albumen (egg white), and vitellus (egg yolk), contained within various thin membranes. Egg yolks and whole eggs store a lot of protein and choline.[1][2] For this reason, the USDA (United States Department of Agriculture) categorizes eggs as Meats within the Food Guide Pyramid[1] Popular choices for egg consumption are chicken, duck, roe, and caviar. The egg most often humanly consumed by far is the produce of the chicken.” (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egg_(food)
Why do I prefer large size/brand
I prefer large size because it is perfect size – it makes the right amount. I like PRESTIGE CLUB PACK from Burnbrae Farms because they are good quality and fresh.

Sugar
Sugar is a class of edible crystalline carbohydrates, mainly sucrose, lactose, and fructose,^[1] characterized by a sweet flavor.(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugar

Lemon
The lemon is both a small evergreen tree (Citrus × limon, often given as C. limon) native to Asia, and the tree’s ellipsoidal yellow fruit. The fruit is used for culinary and non-culinary purposes throughout the world – primarily for its juice, though the pulp and rind (zest) are also used, mainly in cooking and baking. Lemon juice is about 5% to 6% (approximately 0.3 M) citric acid, which gives lemons a sour taste, and a pH of 2–3. Many lemon flavored drinks and foods are available, including lemonade and sherbet lemons, as well as lemon and seasoning salt as a snack. The distinctive sour taste of lemon juice makes it a key ingredient in many dishes across the world. (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemon

Chocolate (semi-sweet) baking squares

Chocolate is a range of products derived from cocoa (cacao), mixed with fat (i.e. cocoa butter and/or plant oils) and finely powdered sugar to produce a solid confection. There are several types of chocolate according to the proportion of cocoa used in a particular formulation….“Semisweet chocolate” is frequently used for cooking purposes. It is a dark chocolate with (by definition in Swiss usage) half as much sugar as cocoa, beyond which it is “sweet chocolate.” (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Types_of_chocolate

Why I prefer Baker’s Semi-Sweet Baking Chocolate Squares, 8-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 4)
It is a good brand. I have been buying it forever. It is consistently good at a fair price.

Baking powder

Baking powder makes the cake rise.

Why I prefer Magic brand powder
It is very relaiable.

Crisco Oil
“Crisco is a brand of shortening produced by the J. M. Smucker Co. popular in the United States. Introduced in June 1911[1] by Procter & Gamble, it was the first shortening to be made entirely of vegetable oil.”(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crisco

Why do I prefer Crisco oil.

I prefer Crisco oil because it has a light taste.

Roasted almonds

The fruit of the almond is not a true nut, but a drupe, consisting of an outer hull and a hard shell with the seed (“nut”) inside. Shelling almonds refers to removing the shell to reveal the seed. Almonds are commonly sold shelled (i.e., after the shells are removed), or unshelled (i.e., with the shells still attached). Blanched almonds are shelled almonds that have been treated with hot water to soften the seedcoat, which is then removed to reveal the white embryo. (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almond

Flour
“Flour is a powder which is made from grinding up cereal grains, other seeds, or roots. It is the main ingredient of bread, which is a staple food for many cultures, making the availability of adequate supplies of flour a major economic and political issue at various times throughout history. Wheat flour is one of the most important foods in European, North American, Middle Eastern and North African cultures, and is the defining ingredient in most of their styles of breads and pastries. Maize flour has been important in Mesoamerican cuisine since ancient times, and remains a staple in much of Latin American cuisine.” (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flour
Why I prefer Robin Hood Five Roses brand flour
It is a good brand. I have been buying it forever. It is consistently good at a fair price.

Whiskey

Simply, it tastes great!

HANDY APPLIANCES, UTENSILS, GADGETS, ETC.*

Hole-in-the-middle Bundt pan

This is a cake pan with a hole in the middle, producing a ring-shaped cake, called a “bundt”. In 1950, H. David Dalquist invented this pan.

Why I prefer hole-in-the-middle Bundt pan This is the right pan to produce this type of baked treat.

Antonietta’s Recipe of the Month: “Famoso torta di liquore di Antonietta*” (“Antoinette’s Famous Liquor Cake*”)

Specifications – Ingredients

8 Eggs
2 tbsp. Sugar
Lemon Peel
2 Chocolate (semi-sweet) baking squares
2 oz. Roasted Almonds
24 oz. Flour
4 tsp. Baking powder
6 oz. Oil
2 oz. Whiskey
2+- oz. Vermout

Directions

1. Crack & mix 8 eggs in a bowl;

2. Add 2 tbsp. sugar;

3. Grate 1 lemon peel;

4. Grate 2 big pieces of chocolate (semi-sweet);

5. Chop 2 oz. roasted almonds;

6. Add 24 oz. flour;

7. Add 4 tsp. magic flour;

8. Add 6 oz. oil;

9. Add 2 oz. whiskey;

10. Add 2+-oz. vermouth;

11. Bake at 300 degrees for 1 hour;

12. Turn off oven, but do not open oven door;

13. Leave 5-10 minutes after turning off oven;

LAST BITE*
Liquor cake is great, since you must know … wine is great, but liquor is quicker!

Take this dish out for a spin – especially this Christmas, and tell me if you agree.
And that’s my food favorite for the week, what’s yours?*
ALP
P.S. Big News: There are big changes coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.
P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com - saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Irish whiskey (Irish: Fuisce or Uisce beatha) is a whiskey made in Ireland. There are several types of whiskey common to Ireland: Single Malt, Single Grain, Pure Pot Still and Blended Whiskey. The word whiskey is an Anglicisation of the ancient Gaelic term “uisce beatha” which translates as “water of life”. (The Craythur is a modern Irish term for whiskey.[1]Most Irish whiskey is distilled three times while Scotch, apart from Auchentoshan, is distilled twice. Peat is rarely used in the malting process, so that Irish Whiskey has a smoother finish as opposed to the smokey, earthy overtones common to some Scotches. There are notable exceptions to these “rules” in both countries; an example is Connemara Peated Irish Malt (double distilled) whiskey from the independent Cooley Distillery in Co. Louth.”(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_whiskey

Why I prefer Jameson brand

“Jameson is a Single distillery Irish whiskey produced by a division of the French distiller Pernod Ricard. Jameson is similar in its adherence to the single distillery principle to the single malt tradition, but Jameson combines malted barley with unmalted or “green” barley. The most famous component within Jameson is the “Pure Pot Still” distilling tradition.”(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jameson_Irish_Whiskey It is a leading brand, long known for high quality spirits, especially Irish Whiskey. It is excellent.

Vermouth

Vermouth is made from wine with added sugar, alcohol and botanicals (herbs and spices).

Why I prefer Martini & Rossi brand

Posted by alaposta on February 11th, 2012 Read More 15 Comments

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*

Vol. 2, No. 37, February 5th 2012

TITLE: “BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*”

INTRODUCTION

SPECIAL ALERT…. Attention all wannabe seductresses and pickup artists! With the coming of Valentine’s Day, romance and dating is on the minds of many people. I am again thinking about flirting – it is the first step in the mating dance. My starting point is my first blog post titled, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*”(Vol. 2, No. 22, October 23, 2011) But now I will go deeper. Yes, I am speaking about body language – I say that it could be a useful tool. The dating circus is daunting. Hence, my topic is body language – how to read it and how to express yourself. My book of the week is .”The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy” [Hardcover] by Tonya Reiman… (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 12th 2012): Valentine’s Day is around the corner, The mating dance is complex and difficult to perform successfully. One of the needed skill sets is the fine art of flirting. I wrote the post, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*” (Sunday, Oct.23, 2011) and last week, I did an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. I had a lot of material…I will continue the subject into next week’s blog. Why don’t you come by and check it out? It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

BONUS PREVIEW (New date – Sunday, Feb. 19th 2012): If looking for Mr./Ms. Right, I have an opinion. Let’s dialogue. If you want straight talk, come on over. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say…you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment. I’ll try not to interrupt. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

During the time that I was attending my single events, I would observe, from a distance, a man putting the moves on a woman. It was interesting to watch. But when I was the object of a man’s attention, it was personal …and I fretted a little. I knew that if a man was interested in me – I needed to look for hints at what he was looking for. That was my focus and the number one piece of information that I wanted. I tried to pay attention to his signals, if any. I asked myself, “Was he presenting himself as somebody respectable?”

When all else failed, I went with my intuition.

During my single days, I was told many times by my male friends that I was sending out the wrong signals. Apparently, my body language was saying, “I’m not open to meeting a man. Don’t come near me, I do not want to be approached.”. I realized that I had to change. I needed to transmit a ‘come-on-over’ message. Soon, I was meeting men. Alas, my body language was now giving out the right signals.
Body language is a form of communication. Although I don’t speak it well and I don’t understand it well, I recognize that I do it …we all do. But some of us do it better than others. While I’m not an expert – I wanted to learn more about reading and sending body language. Now I want to share with you all what I have learnt.

THE AUTHOR: Tonya Reiman
Tonya Reiman experienced life as a child born in the sixties. She attended Pace University and graduated with a General Studies degree. A life changing experience was an incident when a psychology professor came nose to nose with her in order to demonstrate the significance of “personal space”. She is a Certified Hypnotist, holding a NGH certification; she had a private practice, No Boundaries Hypnosis, in Smithtown, Long Island. She is an author and motivational speaker. She is a political commentator, featured as a contributor on The O’Reilly Factor, on the Fox News Channel. She penned many articles on body language published in Cosmopolitan, Life & Style, Time, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Woman’s World and Positive Thinking.
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonya_Reiman)

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books/Articles:
Several of her books are:
•”The Yes Factor: Get What You Want, Say What You Mean, the Power of Persuasive Communication”.
•”The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter”

THE BOOK: “The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy” [Hardcover] by Tonya Reiman
I started with the question: ”What attracts the opposite sexes to one another?” I also wondered what makes us attractive. In this book, Reiman, a history lover, considered the topic of human attraction and seduction and asks how it’s changed through the years. She looks at body parts both male and female. She wants to know, if and why, each is attractive or unattractive. She recognizes dating success or failure. She explains that attraction is: a) Biological; b) Physical; c) Chemical; d) Mental. Her message is also that attraction: is: e) Detectable; f) Manageable and g) Maneuverable. Reiman has made a contibution to the knowedge on seduction, conversation, connection, and enduring romance. It’s a HOW-TO guide. If ovcr 18, you have a learners’ permit. Read it and meet Cupid sooner than later.

Personal Comments

Winning at love starts at the preliminary round. This is the warm up and flirting is on the menu. If interested, this is where the signal is to be sent. In the dating game, suceess or failure depends upon correctly reading body language and giving off the right non -verbal signals.
Flirting is not necessarily an invitation for or offer of sex.
Be conscious that your body language reveals how you feel about others.
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects when you meet someone. Maintaining the right level comes across as showing courtesy plus the interest in what the person has to say. Holding someone in a long gaze is a sure sign of interest. Other signals may be more subtle.
Once you send an inviting signal to the opposite sex, it’s harder to shut down the opening. It could then get uncomfortable or even dangerous.
Learn to read body language correctly. Observe people. Try to guess what’s on their mind.
Look for eye contact, strong hand shake – ask youself, “What is revealed by his or her body language?” He or she is responding to stimuli, consciously or unconsciously.
Reading someone clearly is job #1 - doing this better can save you a lot of headaches.
Be careful to send out the right message. Subconsciously, at times, we may be sending the wrong message.

The Point

The skill is knowing what to look for and being observant. Learning to read body language is a very useful social skill. The knack is also to make your signals fit your wishes.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
Everyone in the dating scene should note:
1. How we communicate - the answer is: a) 7% in words; b) 35%, the way we speak; c) 35% through body language;
2. First impression (visual clues)- several are: a) Gender (male/female); b)Face (e.g., (i). ethnic/national group; (ii). Facial hair for a man – for me, it signifies someone cautious; c) Age (younger/older); d) Prosperity & status; e) Education; f) Style sense; etc. (N.B. It’s important to receive unfavorable information ASAP – don’t disregard visual clues – there is a lot more under the surface.)
3. Visual communicators: a) Appearance – NOTICE TO MEN EVERYWHERE: Your shoes are a huge telltale sign for women. First, the choice of shoe tells something about your character…conservative or flamboyant? Also, their condition tells others something about your values and discipline level. Worn and dirty yells pass. Leather not vinyl says that you are the real deal. Proper and conservative brogue type says that you are well-screwed on, not screwed up. Indeed, shoes indicate what type of person a woman is dealing with – his status, his character, importance on grooming, etc.; b) Clothes;

4. Auditory communicators -they: a) Confirm: (i). Gender; and (ii). Age; b) Could suggest confidence or lack of it; c) Could give off clues to personality, intelligence, social economic background, etc.;
5. Speaking style communicators – look at: a) Type: (i). Variety of volume – both high and low volume would make people uncomfortable – it might signify a need to dominate and feelings of inadequacy; (ii). Speed – it might mean that he or she wants to conclude the conversation – it might show nervousness; (iii). Pitch; b) Use of jargon & slang – it could give a hint of geographical origin; c) Good conversational topics and their propriety for business or social environments – they could show experience and ease in social situations;  d) Suitable questions could further show good social sense; e) Good telephone etiquette – it would show me he has a little class;
6. Analyzing visual auditory clues – they could suggest: a) If someone is a positive or negative person; c) If he or she is receptive or contrary to what is being said to him or her;   d) If he or she seems truthful and sincere;
7. Learning non verbal body language: a) Learn to spot: (i).  If someone is seemingly functional or not; (ii). Quality of behavior learned, not instinctive; (iii). If he or she is open to learn or already knows it all – if so, don’t stop! (iii). If he or she is willing to improve and change – if not, he or she is in the “No” trap, keep walking if you please.
8. Language choices -it touches upon credibility: a) Words being used – Be conscious that words have different connotations and meaning – examples : (i). I’m sorry; (ii). You’re fired;
9. Facial expressions are indicative of emotions, which a person is feeling: a) Smile signifies receptiveness: (i). Smile up to eyes signifies happiness; (ii). Smile moderate and contrived signifies insincerity; c) Micro- expressions - these are expressions that flash for a second providing key insights in the person – Pay attention!
9.1 Eyes & Pupil dilation: a) Whether dilated or not, there is something, provoking emotional response in him or her; b) Interrelated topics: (i). Biofeedback; (ii). Meditation; (iii). Yes you can feelings;  c) Face –saving quality; d) Performance appraisal – remember there are no stupid questions … only stupid answers!
10. Five main non verbal communicators: a) Eye contact: (i) Staring is aggressive; b) Facial expression: (i). Furling one’s brow could show concentration or intense need to know; (ii). Frown signifies indifference; c) Body position: (i). Straight up indicates strength; (ii). Leaning in shows interest; d) Body proximity: (i). Being at arm’s length is minimum and respectful of others; (ii) Staying further away suggests attitude of stand-offishness; (iii). Coming much closer is invasion of personal space – this is threatening behavior ; (iv). Grabbing can be near assault – this is never good; e) Linguistic behavior: (i) articulate or not – how you say what you say; (ii). Use of pause and silence: It strikes a contrast with volume. Going silent does not show stupidity – it shows that one is thinking and able to stop talking -indeed ready to listen. It also shows confidence as there is not always the need to say something.

SURPRISE…SURPRISE…More to come…to be continued next week!

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
P.S. Big News: There are big changes coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.
P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com -   saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
===============================================================
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Julia Sweeney: Pat
“Julia Sweeney once revealed the inspiration behind her classic character – the androgynous “Pat” – on “Saturday Night Live”: “I’d been an accountant for like five years, and there was one person I worked with in particular who had a lot of mannerisms like Pat. This person sort of drooled and had the kind of body language of Pat. I started trying to do him. I was testing it out on my friends and they were just like, ‘Yeah, it’s good, but it doesn’t seem like a guy that much.’ Like I couldn’t quite pull off being in drag convincingly enough. So then I thought, maybe that’s the joke. I’ll just have one joke in here about we don’t know if that’s a man or a woman just to sort of cover up for my lack of ability to really play a guy convincingly!”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=21285)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Muammar Qaddafi: Body Language
“In March 2004, Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi met with British Prime Minister Tony Blair for a widely-televised interview in a tent in the desert. Only later did Blair learn that showing another man the soles of one’s feet, as Qaddafi did (to Blair) throughout the interview, was understood by Arabs as a major sign of disrespect.”
(Source: Anecdotage) -  http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=19368)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3:Nixon Down Under
“One day during his presidency, Richard Nixon landed in Australia for a state visit. As he stepped from the plane, Nixon made a peace sign (as was his custom) to signify solidarity with his Aussie hosts. Some time later he was delicately informed that, in Australia, the so-called ‘peace sign’ (unless the palm is facing out) is the equivalent of an American display of the middle finger.”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=2263)
S & R* QUOTE #1: Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday.”
(Source: Wisom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index14.html)
S & R* QUOTE #2: Benjamin Franklin
“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) –   http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
S & R* QUOTE #3: Captain Jean-Luc Picard
“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. played by Patrick Stewart, from the film “Star Trek: Generations”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “body language”;
Body Language
“Body language is a form of mental and physical ability of human non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“It is important to note that some indicators of emotion (e.g. smiling/laughing when happy, frowning/crying when sad) are largely universal;[citation needed],[4] however in the 1990s Paul Ekman expanded his list of basic emotions, including a range of positive and negative emotions, not all of which are encoded in facial muscles.[13] The newly included emotions are:
A study in body language.
1. Amusement
2. Contempt
3. Contentment
4. Embarrassment
5. Excitement
6. Guilt
7. Pride in achievement
8. Relief
9. Satisfaction
10. Sensory pleasure
11. Shame
Body language signals may have a goal other than communication. People would keep both these two in mind. Observers limit the weight they place on non-verbal cues. Signalers clarify their signals to indicate the biological origin of their actions. Examples would include yawning (sleepiness), showing lack of interest (sexual interest/survival interest), attempts to change the topic (fight or flight drivers).
Physical expression
“Physical expressions like waving, pointing, touching and slouching are all forms of nonverbal communication. One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest.[6] This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. Consistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn’t trust the speaker enough to “take their eyes off” the speaker. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin.Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused.Interest can be indicated through posture or extended eye contact, such as standing and listening properly.[citation needed] Deceit or the act of withholding information can sometimes be indicated by touching the face during conversation. Excessive blinking is a well-known indicator of someone who is lying. Recently[when?], evidence has surfaced that the absence of blinking can also represent lying as a more reliable factor than excessive blinking. [7″
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: WOZA
WOZA gives roses as a symbol of love and peace on Valentine’s Day This Valentine’s Day, courageous women in Zimbabwe will be handing out paper roses in the streets. Jenni Williams, the leader of Women of Zimbabwe Arise (WOZA), has lost count of how many times she has been arrested maybe 37 or 38, she says. Jenni and her colleague, Magodonga Mahlangu, are only two of the many women who have been arrested, ill-treated, intimidated and harassed for their peaceful human rights work in this southern African country. Members often give out paper roses during their peaceful marches to symbolize their slogan of love and peace. At a Valentine’s Day event in Bulawayo last year, WOZA marched with banners proclaiming The Power of Love can conquer the Love of Power and handed out roses to the public. Three of the 53 women arrested had simply been watching. At trial, the prosecutor decided against legal action, and the activists walked free after paying fines.WOZA was formed in 2003 to defend human rights amidst the political violence in Zimbabwe, and continues their work today by mobilizing to improve living conditions for all Zimbabweans. WOZA members organize vocal and colourful peaceful demonstrations to protest
government policies that lead to a worsening social, economic and human rights situation in the country. Police arrest even children, women carrying babies and pregnant women. Officers release many without charge, but take advantage of repressive legislation such as the Public Order and Security Act and the Miscellaneous Offences Act to charge some of them.The government, in an effort to prevent public protest and criticism of its policies, has become increasingly intolerant of the work of human rights defenders and is actively seeking to silence them. WOZA members will continue by peaceful means to use their freedom to meet together and criticize government policy. Members of Amnesty International around the world are calling for the protection of WOZA members and all human rights defenders in Zimbabwe. A free information kit about how to help protect the rights of people in Zimbabwe and other countries around the world is available from Amnesty International, 1992 Yonge Street, Suite #315, Toronto, Ontario, M4S 1Z7, or
at www.amnesty.ca/zimbabwe.
www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on February 5th, 2012 Read More 6 Comments

VALENTINE’S DAY: SPENDING IT ALONE (OR NOT) – I HAVE THOUGHTS & IDEAS: gifts, cards, flowers, etc.* – UPDATE 2012

Vol. 2, No. 36, January 29th, 2012

TITLE: “VALENTINE’S DAY: SPENDING IT ALONE (OR NOT) – I HAVE THOUGHTS & IDEAS: gifts, cards, flowers, etc.*” – UPDATE 2012

INTRODUCTION

Valentine’s Day is coming …Valentine’s Day is coming. On the occasion of Valentine’s Day, I have an update of my post from last year, “SPENDING VALENTINE’S DAY ALONE (OR NOT) – I HAVE THOUGHTS & IDEAS*” (Feb. 2011). Hence, my topic is love and the festivities on this special day. I want to address those in a couple and those that are not. My book of the week is still: “Love Story” by Erich Segal. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on holidays & special dates plus dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 5th 2012): Valentine’s Day is around the corner, The mating dance is complex and difficult to perform successfully. One of the needed skill sets is the fine art of flirting. I wrote the post, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*”

I will do an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. Why don’t you come by and check it out? It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

BONUS PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 12th 2012): If looking for Mr./Ms. Right, I have an opinion. Let’s dialogue. If you want straight talk, come on over. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say…you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment. I’ll try not to interrupt. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*
Childhood: At my home, Valentine’s Day was not celebrated. My father did not buy gifts for my mother, although they had a good marriage. However, I do have fond memories from grade school, when I exchanged cards with my school friends. I always hoped to get as many cards as possible. As a youngster, I thought that this told me how popular I was and how many kids in my class liked me. I also got cards from friends other than my class mates.

Marriage: We did not make a big deal on Valentine’s Day … just a few chocolates, cards and a telephone call or two.

Post marriage: Later when divorced and single, I had friends in a like situation, who were not bothered by Valentine’s day. Truth -for me, it was hard- this was a significant day, which I tried to ignore. It reminded me that I was no longer a part of a couple. Everywhere I went that day, I noticed how many people were coupled up. I dealt with this by planning to go, along with my girl friends, to a singles’ event. And on the day, I enjoyed myself – in the end, the day was entertaining and fun.

Now-a-days: At present, with my significant other, Valentine’s day is not easy due to our busy schedules. It’s not what we do that is important: we could go out for a dinner for two or enjoy a quiet supper at home. Nevertheless, it is important that we take pause and make time for each other – it’s that important. The gifts, cards and dinner are not the key – instead, it’s quite simple really, it’s that there is mutual respect and we are ‘in like’. Of course, “love is all around” and we are together. We even smile at each other.

Update

Since last year, I have lived real life, some stuff good …some bad. Love is still a big part of my everyday. This Valentine’s Day, I shall celebrate. I truly want to help all of you out there not feeling loved and loving. With the hope of getting you there, stay tuned….more posts coming your way in this space .

THE AUTHOR: Erich Wolf Segal
Erich Wolf Segal, born in Brooklyn N.Y., was an author, screenwriter and Ivy League university professor. His star crossed with the Beatles as he wrote the srceenplay of the 1968 motion picture, “Yellow Submarine”. His fame skyrocketed with the novel, “Love Story”. It was a best-seller and the movie of the same name was a huge hit – it was the number one box office attraction of 1970. Segal authored other books. Segal suffered from Parkinson’s disease and died in 2010 from a heart attack. He was not known as a master of fluff. Instead, he was recognized as a very intense person whose perseverance was remarkable. (Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia)

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books
Several of his books were:
• [1970], Love Story, Oxford bookworms, Oxford University Press, OCLC 271780786
• (1977), Oliver’s Story, Granada, ISBN 9780246110077
• (1985), The Class, Bantam, ISBN 9780593010044
• (1988), Doctors, Toronto, ISBN 9780553052947
Movies
Several movies based upon Segal’s books were:
• Yellow Submarine (1968)
• Love Story (1970) – Ali McGraw and Ryan O’Neal starred as the lovebirds. Ray Milland was the father. It was the No. 1 movie of 1970. Tears flowed non-stop.
• Oliver’s Story (1978)

BOOK: “Love Story” by Erich Segal
This was a romantic yarn, borderline soap opera. Yet it worked and struck a chord with baby boomers. Indeed, it became the classic of a generation. Of course, boy meets girl, but there was more, much more. Oliver Barrett IV was a rich kid from a family of blue blood lawyers who became enthralled with a young woman, a mere commoner type. But this lady was smart, spunky and she spoke her mind. Harvard was the place. The boy played rough and tough hockey and studied hard at law school. The girl looked great, had style and was a true lady. “Preppy” was a phrase used often. His parents objected- read – a demanding and over bearing father thought he could do better. The young man was a real man and stood up for his beloved. They married. He became estranged from his father/parents. The couple was happy. But life got in the way! From this book came one of the great lines of the century: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry!” It sold over 21 million copies in 33 languages. I liked it. I think that it is a candidate meriting to be discovered by generation Y and beyond.

CONCLUSION
A person is better off having love in his or her life. Valentine’s Day is the day to celebrate this love.

My personal comments
Most people think that Valentine’s Day is about the love between a man or a woman. My take is different. Let me be clear. I think Valentine’s Day is a celebration of all love. First, it is a celebration of the love between a person and his or her parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, etc. If you are able to love – it means that you can feel. Indeed you are blessed and have a gift. If you are the recipient of love – it gives you a feeling of belonging, being part of a family. Indeed, you are blessed and have a gift. Second, it is a celebration of the love between a person and his or her significant other. If you are able to love – it means that you have passion and are alive. Indeed, you are blessed and have a gift. If you are the recipient of love - It makes you feel loved and complete. Indeed, you are blessed and have a gift.Third, there is another love – the love of pets. While I have an allergy and do not have a pet, I have friends who love their pets. I think that this is great as well. If you have a pet that lovingly wags a tail when you come home, you are blessed and have a gift. If you lovingly pat your pet, when you come home, you are blessed and have a gift. In my opinion, Feb. 14th is highly commercialized for financial purposes. Many businesses make money on this day – restaurants, florists, chocolates and candy stores and card stores. It could be considered as one of their prime times during the year. Billions of dollars are spent for gifts on this day. This says something of the importance of the day.

In my perception, it is important to have love in your life because it makes you flourish. Studies show that a baby that is loved but barely fed, still grows up happy and healthy. Whereas a baby that is well fed, but not loved, grows up unhealthy and may even die.

Oh boy, look at the time. I have so much to do in preparation for Valentine’s Day. Gotta go …Love ya!

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
CREDITS
-Web Tech: richmediasound.com
*TM/© 2011, 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
====================================================================================================================
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #1: Bit Brazen?
“The Los Angeles Times once published a Valentine’s Day story on several prominent couples, among them Arnold Schwarzenegger and his lovely wife, Maria Shriver. According to the story, on the very day the couple met, Schwarzenegger told Maria’s mother: “Your daughter has a great body.” Los Angeles Times media critic David Shaw – thinking the comment ‘a bit brazen, even for Schwarzenegger’ -later asked the actor whether he had actually said it. “No,” Schwarzenegger replied. “I said, ‘Your daughter has a nice ass!’”
(Source: Anecdotage) - www.anecdotage.com) -http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=5862
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #2: Happy Valentine’s Day
“In February 2003, Kelly Osbourne’s boyfriend Bert made a surprising announcement during his band’s Valentine’s Day concert. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said. “I love you and you’re my favorite person in the world – but we’re breaking up.”
(Source: Anecdotage) – www.anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=16288
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #3: “I sent flowers today”
“I sent flowers today,” Dana Carvey announced on Valentine’s Day, 2005. “I got this Lebanese florist. He says, ‘What do you want to say on the card?’ ‘Okay, darling sweeetheart -’ ‘Darling sweeetheart – What else? What else? What else? What else?’ ‘I love you so much your mere touch excites me.’ ‘Mere touch excites me. What else? What else? What else? What else?’ And the finally, he says, ‘I have a suggestion: Why don’t you say, “If you ever leave me I will hunt you down and kill you and your lover.” They love the passion.’”
(Source: Anecdotage) – www.anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=21167
S & R* QUOTE #1: Amy Bloom
“All intimacy is rare — that’s what makes it precious. And it involves the revelation of one’s self and the loving gaze upon another’s true self (no makeup, no fancy car, no defensive charm, no seduction) — that’s what makes it so damn hard. Intimacy requires honesty and kindness in almost equal measure (a little more kindness, I think), trust and trustworthiness, forgiveness and the capacity to be forgiven . . . It’s more than worth it — just don’t let them tell you it’s bilss.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) - http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/)
S & R* QUOTE #2: Eleanor Roosevelt
“The giving of love is an education in itself.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/)
S & R* QUOTE #3: Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
“The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.|
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: Saint Valentine’s Day; etc.
Saint Valentine’s Day
“Saint Valentine’s Day, commonly shortened to Valentine’s Day,[1][2][3] is an annual commemoration held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.[1][3] The day is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 500 AD. It was deleted from the Roman calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI, but its religious observance is still permitted. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as “valentines”). The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. Modern Valentine’s Day symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have given way to mass-produced greeting cards.[4]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine’s_Day
Bonus fact #1: St. Valentines Day – Historical facts
“Numerous early Christian martyrs were named Valentine.[5] The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb. m. Romae) and Valentine of Terni (Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m. Romae).[6] Valentine of Rome[7] was a priest in Rome who was martyred about AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. His relics are at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome,[8] and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.Valentine of Terni[9] became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) about AD 197 and is said to have been martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino).[10]The Catholic Encyclopedia also speaks of a third saint named Valentine who was mentioned in early martyrologies under date of February 14. He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him.[11]No romantic elements are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the 14th century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost.[12]In the 1969 revision of the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints, the feastday of Saint Valentine on February 14 was removed from the General Roman Calendar and relegated to particular (local or even national) calendars for the following reason: “Though the memorial of Saint Valentine is ancient, it is left to particular calendars, since, apart from his name, nothing is known of Saint Valentine except that he was buried on the Via Flaminia on February 14.”[13] The feast day is still celebrated in Balzan (Malta) where relics of the saint are claimed to be found, and also throughout the world by Traditionalist Catholics who follow the older, pre-Second Vatican Council calendar.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine’s_Day
Bonus fact #1-A: St. Valentines Day – Romantic legends
“Saint Valentine of Terni and his disciples.The Early Medieval acta of either Saint Valentine were expounded briefly in Legenda Aurea.[14] According to that version, St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Claudius was impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his life. Valentine refused and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. Because of this, he was executed. Before his execution, he is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer.Since Legenda Aurea still provided no connections whatsoever with sentimental love, appropriate lore has been embroidered in modern times to portray Valentine as a priest who refused an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men remain single. The Emperor supposedly did this to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail.There is an additional modern embellishment to The Golden Legend, provided by American Greetings to History.com, and widely repeated despite having no historical basis whatsoever. On the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he would have written the first “valentine” card himself, addressed to a young girl variously identified as his beloved,[15] as the jailer’s daughter whom he had befriended and healed,[16] or both. It was a note that read “From your Valentine.”[15]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine’s_Day
Bonus fact #2: Saint Valentine’s Day massacre
“The Saint Valentine’s Day massacre is the name given to the murder of seven people as part of a prohibition era conflict between two powerful criminal gangs in Chicago, in 1929: the South Side Italian gang led by Al Capone and the North Side Irish gang led by Bugs Moran. Former members of the Egan’s Rats gang were also suspected to have played a large role in the St. Valentine’s Day massacre, assisting Capone. Capone might have ordered it after Bugs’ gang machine-gunned Al Capone’s headquarters.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Valentine’s_Day_massacre

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
Candy is Dandy
“1,233 – Number of locations producing chocolate and cocoa products in 2007. These establishments employed 38,794 people. California led the nation in the number of such establishments with 143, followed by Pennsylvania with 115.
Source: County Business Patterns <http://censtats.census.gov/cgi-bin/cbpnaic/cbpdetl.pl>
23.8 pounds – Per capita consumption of candy by Americans in 2008.”
Source: Current Industrial Reports <http://www.census.gov/manufacturing/cir/historical_data/ma311d/>
Flowers
“- $403 million – The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut flowers in 2008 for all flower-producing operations with $100,000 or more in sales. Among states, California was the leading producer, alone accounting for about three-quarters of this amount ($314 million).
- 24 million – The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut roses in 2008 for all operations with $100,000 or more in sales.”
Source: USDA National Agricultural Statistics Service <http://usda.mannlib.cornell.edu/MannUsda/viewDocumentInfo.do?documentID=1072>
Jewelry
“27,484 -
Number of jewelry stores in the United States in 2007. Jewelry stores offer engagement, wedding and other rings to lovers of all ages. In February 2009, these stores sold $2.2 billion in merchandise.”
Source: County Business Patterns <http://censtats.census.gov/cgi-bin/cbpnaic/cbpdetl.pl> and Monthly Retail Trade and Food Services
<http://www.census.gov/retail>
Be mine
“2.16 million
The number of marriages that took place in the United States in 2008. That breaks down to a little less than 6,000 a day.”
(Source: National Center for Health Statistics) http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/nvsr.htm>
Giving Love a Second Chance
“3 1/2 – The median time in years between divorce and a second marriage.
52%, 44% – Among adults 25 and older who have ever divorced, the percentage of men and women, respectively, who were currently married.”
(Source for the data in this section, unless otherwise noted: Marriage and Divorce: 2004)
<http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/marital_status_living_arrangements/cb07-131.html>
(Source: U.S. Census Bureau) – http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/cb10-ff02.html
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: Valentine’s Day 2010 – Feb. 14
“Opinions abound as to who was the original Valentine, with the most popular theory that he was a clergyman who was executed for secretly marrying couples in ancient Rome in spite of Emperor Claudius II, who felt that marriage weakened his soldiers. In any event, in A.D. 496, Pope Gelasius I declared Feb. 14 as Valentine Day. Through the centuries, the Christian holiday became a time to exchangelove messages, and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. Esther Howland, a native of Massachusetts, is given credit for selling the first mass-produced valentine cards in the 1840s. The spirit of love continues today as valentines are sent with sentimental verses, from and to young and old romantics.”
(Source: U.S. Census Bureau) – http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/cb10-ff02.html
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Trends
(NC)”Looking to make an impact this year with your loved one on Valentine’s Day? The latest consumer trend is to avoid the traditional and stale options of chocolates and flowers for women and shirts and ties for men and choose [UTF-8?]â€œsmartâ€ gifts that you know your better half will enjoy. A new gift concept called Smartbox takes the guessing out of gift giving and offers you a chance to give fun, thoughtful gifts that will leave your loved ones impressed on any occasion.When you offer a gift to someone you love, you want to make sure they’ll actually enjoy it, because we all know the feeling of receiving a gift that just wasn’t ‘us’. Smartbox is the perfect solution to ensure your loved one will light up every time, said David Meyers, CEO of Smartbox.A new and simple gift concept, Smartbox enables that special someone to choose their own gift experience so gift givers are certain to delight every time. Choose from the 9 different themes, such as restaurants, spas, gateways, adventures or exploration, each with hundreds of options, Smartbox is the perfect personalised gift and allows people to discover new and exciting experiences they would never have found on their own. The concept is simple: choose a theme, buy the related Smartbox, and give it as a gift (or use it yourself!). A glossy illustrated guidebook is included in the package to let the recipient choose from up to 900 different experiences, activities and escapes. They then reserve a date and time to redeem their gift experience directly with the supplier using the contact information included in the guidebook. Gift recipients need only bring their Smartbox gift certificate with them on the day of their reservation to redeem it. The value of the gift is never revealed to the recipient so they will have no idea how much you paid. All packages are all inclusive except for travel expenses.The man in your life likes adventure? Now, you can offer him an original and fulfilling experience by letting him choose between surfing, kayaking, paintball, sailing, paramotor tandem and many other options. Your wife who has everything enjoys great food? You can now offer her a gourmet dining experience in a restaurant that suits her tastes. Smartbox themes include restaurants, spas, gateways, adventures and exploration. Smartbox is available at more than 450 retail locations including Zellers, Jean Coutu and Home Outfitters (Déco Découverte) in Quebec, Ontario, Alberta and British Columbia and online at www.smartbox.com/ca. ”
News Canada
*TM/© 2011, 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

The point
When it comes to love, I say that it is all about a glass of water, 1/2 full and 1/2 empty. Celebrating this day does not require that you now have a man (or woman) in your life. If you are lucky to love and have love, then see the glass 1/2 full and appreciate what you do have. If you want more, then go out and find it! Make your very own “Love Story” – you can do it. There is someone out there perfect for everyone.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
Everyone should:
General
1. Make love a part of your life;
2. Recognize the TRUE love that you DO have in your life;
3. Acknowledge your loved ones;
4. Celebrate Valentine’s day – it is a feel good thing to do; If with a living parent,
4.1 Show you care by taking a moment to:
4.1.1 Send a greeting card;
4.1.2 Make a phone call on the day of, saying: ” I love you”; a simple kindness is worth so much!
5. Buy him or her a bag of doughnuts, hot buns, bagels or whatever, if in the same city; giving such is an excuse to go and say you that you appreciate him or her being part of your life!
If with adult children,
6. Invite them for a homemade dinner with all of their favorite dishes;
7. Buy a card – saying that you love a child, even one all grown up, and you are so proud of him or her – saying so NEVER goes out of style! If with a good friend,
8. Buy a little something which suits him or her; thoughtfulness combined with knowledge of the individual plus effort sends a powerful message to your friend: that you are a great friend;
9. Send him or her the name of this post at www.saveandread.com/blog with the phrase, “I appreciate our friendship” – Now that’s something different and an attention getter!
If in a romantic relationship
10.Recognize:
10.1 That the fast pace of daily life makes it difficult for people to nurture a relationship;
10.2 That Valentine’s Day is the moment when a couple should stop and smell the coffee;
10.3 That your efforts to make this a special day for you and your significant other could make a difference in the quality and future success of the relationship;
11. Stop and send the following text message: “I love you!”
12. Make a date -it doesn’t have to be expensive; take advantage of the opportunity to have fun with your better half and enjoy his or her company!
13.Pay attention to a mate, to his or her likes and desires – this will move him or her!
14. Buy something special … as a token of love – it could be a greeting card, flowers (or a single rose) or something personal, (e.g., jewelry, fragrance, clothing, etc.);
15. Make your very best dish with a bottle of wine or bake a dessert that says he or she has been really good!
16. Rekindle the romance in the relationship if that is needed;
If single,
15. Recognize the value of friendship;
16. Pick up a phone or send a text to a friend (platonic) and say: “Hi, let’s have a coffee or do something on Valentine’s day weekend.”
17. Go with your friends to a singles’ event;
18. Have a blast whatever you do!

Posted by alaposta on January 29th, 2012 Read More 54 Comments

ON LINE DATING: There are web sites for free, over 50 – with statistics and reviews, I have some tips!*

Vol. 2, No. 35, January 22nd, 2012

TITLE: “ON LINE DATING: There are web sites for free, over 50 – with statistics and reviews, I have some tips!*”

INTRODUCTION
Valentine’s Day is coming …Valentine’s Day is coming. There are many people looking for love. This week, l will write about dating sites and on-line dating. For many, they are part of the solution. My subject then is about love …..leading to relationships and perhaps marriage and children. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.) My book of the week is: “Romancing the Web: A Therapist’s Guide to the Finer Points of Online Dating” [Paperback] by Diane M. Berry (Author). (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Jan. 29,2012): Valentine’s Day is around the corner. I will do an update of my Valentine’s day post of last year, “SPENDING VALENTINE’S DAY ALONE (OR NOT) – I HAVE THOUGHTS & IDEAS*” (Feb. 2011) I want to address those in a couple and those that are not. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on holidays & special dates plus dating and relationships.)

BONUS PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 5th 2012): The mating dance is complex and difficult to perform successfully. One of the needed skill sets is the fine art of flirting. I wrote the post, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*” I will do an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. Why don’t you come by and check it out? It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

Although I was not interested in joining these sites, I am not opposed to them. In this fast-paced world, online dating beats the bar scene any day.

THE AUTHOR: Diane Berry, MSW, LCSW, JD

Diane Berry was a divorce attorney turned therapist. She holds a law degree and also a Master’s Degree in Social Work. Her interest is the family: divorce, step family adjustment, anger management and family violence. In May 2000, she founded Blue Waters Family Counseling ckinic and acted as its director. She is also an author to add to her expertise.

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books/Articles:
Some are:

• ”A Peace of My Mind a Therapist’s Guide to Handling Anger and Other Difficult Emotions”
• ”Romancing the Web a Therapist’s Guide to the Finer Points of Online Dating”
• ”Child-friendly Divorce a Divorce Therapist’s Guide to Helping Your Children Thrive”

THE BOOK: “Romancing the Web: A Therapist’s Guide to the Finer Points of Online Dating” [Paperback] by Diane M. Berry (Author)
The place for jerks was and still is a bar or club. And many of us do not like the ‘meat’ markets. To compound the problem, life today has become fast, busy and very demanding. The dating scene has shifted. There are new tools for those looking for love. Online dating is one such emerging wave. However, there are new age problems. Questions abound, while answers are scarce. He said, she said, but who really knows? I vote for Diane Berry. Being a divorce lawyer and a therapist gives Berry a unique perspective. She knows that you really want a meaningful relationship. She has opinions. She uses real experiences. Her style is not critical, but coach-like. It`s a handy hard copy resource for any key board romantic WANNABE. There is no time to waste and to lose. It’s a good one.

CONCLUSION
Dating sites are very popular today. There is a big variety; they range from free to paid membership, religious particular or not, 50 plus or younger, etc. Anyone looking for love should make use of them.

Personal Comments

It is quite common for young people to connect on-line. They have portable computers, mobile phones, music devices, etc. Some have quite a technique. I have heard of many success stories but then again, there are also many that are not. There is a sea of profiles … so many seemingly looking for a serious relationship, only to later find out as you chat with him, that it is not true. Many of these sites also provide webcam chats between members. A picture does not always do justify to someone … some people are not photogenic There are so many steps before actually meeting the person. With a generation that is so connected with computers, this may be the only way to go. The future generation will probably be very comfortable with this, considering how easy they are with computers. Unfortunately, the conversational skill is not used enough; and people don’t have occasion to learn piking up non verbal signs. It is also true that without meeting someone in person, one misses the effect of his or her appearance from verall look, mannerisms and behaviour.

Like anything else, there are advantages and disadvantages.

Some of my pros for on-line dating are:
• It is convenient.
• It narrows down what type of person you want to meet.
• You could get to know each other before you meet for real.
• It reduces the fear of rejection.
• It shows that if the first person doesn’t work out, not to worry … there’s plenty of other fish … you’ll meet someone else.

Some of my cons for on-line dating are:
• You might find yourself bombarded with too many profiles, many or all not suitable.
• It can be very time-consuming.

• It might seem like hard work instead of an enjoyable use of free time.

• The picture is not always accurate.
• A person looking to date and claiming to be single, may in fact be married.
• It takes away from physical communication.

While some may say that an online dating site is just another matchmaker, I’m not so sure. Although I might think that the old fashion way may be more fun, I leave it up to you to make up your own mind.

The Point
Anyone part of the current dating scene should consider these sites. Like it or not, it is the way of the future. When you are ready to meet that special person, don’t rule out joining an online site that works for you. If one is not to your liking, then join another.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
Everyone should:

1. Look for love – it’s worth it.

2. Get out there –

2.1 Go to dances, parties, social events, etc.

2.2 Play sports and partcipate in activities;

2.3 Take up a hobby and join a club; etc.

3. Be open to fix-ups;

4. Use dating sites as a part of your dating strategy, but:

4.1 Check them out with the authorities and consumer business bureaus, local or national;

4.2 Don’t make these sites your only connection to meeting someone special

4.3 Be careful and please:

4.3.1 Watch what information and photos that you upload.

4.3.2 Be guarded and defensive if and when you agree to meet a new on-line date;.

4.3.3 Pick a during- the- day time and make it a public place like a busy restaurant;

4.3.4 Drive yourself to the meeting place;

4.3.5 Listen to your little voice if things don’t seem 100% right and get out of there at once;
5. Remember to enjoy the search for true love.

How’s it going? – I’m praying that you meet your special someone!

(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_dating_service)
Dating
“Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating)
Matchmaker
“A matchmaker is a person who engages in matchmaking, sometimes as a profession.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matchmaker)SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: Tips for singles on Valentine’s Day By Maja Begovic
“Valentine’s Day can conjure up feelings of loneliness for those without a mate. But being alone is cheaper, easier, and it’s probably better than going out on some random date, or being with a person you’ve been meaning to break up with for months. If you don’t have a date, don’t stay at home and pout. Here are some ideas to help you celebrate the day of love:
1. Realize that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.
2. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine’s Day.
3. Resist the temptation to turn off your phone and crawl into bed early. Book a deep tissue massage at a fantastic spa, followed by a manicure and pedicure. Host a fondue party or a potluck at your house, or grab a few single friends and book a sightseeing flight over your city.
4. Do you know a couple with children who never go out because they just don’t feel they can afford a babysitter? Offer them a free night of babysitting and let them enjoy a romantic night out.
5. Nothing spreads the love faster than doing a little volunteer work. Take time to remember your good fortune and learn about how you can help improve the lives of children living in poverty through a non-profit organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada (www.ccfcanada.ca).
6. If you are single, but would rather not be, think about what is standing in the way of you and a new relationship. Find ways to work on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with. Start therapy. Take up yoga. Take action to change the world. It is into the fullest lives that love is most likely to fall.”
www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: How to find your one and onlyBy Maja Begovic

“We all want to find the person we are meant to be with. That special someone we are totally enamored by, connected to, and head-over-heels in love with. Just in time for a fresh start this Valentine’s Day, here are some pearls of wisdom that may eventually help bring you and your beloved together:
Believe in your soul mate and be patient
Fate doesn’t work on a schedule. Your soul mate might cross your path when you’re eight or 80 years old. If you can believe in love even when life doesn’t seem to be taking you in that direction you’re already halfway there.
Make yourself a better person
Next, begin the process of self-improvement. Be the type of person people fall in love with. If you think you need a better job or education, go back to school. If you want to improve your health, go to the gym and get in shape. If you want to expand your horizons, then begin to volunteer or get involved with a non-profit organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada (www.ccfcanada.ca) and see how improving the lives of people living in poverty can help bring new perspective into your own life.
Don’t hate being single
Honour the state of not yet having a mate. Enjoy your life, go out with friends, and pursue paths of self-improvement. Spend time fine-tuning skills, nurturing interests, and having adventures. Study, take courses, and do things that help you grow personally, spiritually, and professionally.
Live fully and stay open. Love may not be far behind.
How will I know when I do find my soul mate?
Your soul mate will be a person you will feel a very strong and passionate connection with, as well as an old connection. In other words, you will feel as if you have known the person for a long time, even though you may have just met him or her recently. Even in moments of doubt and fear, open your arms to love. Know that every step you take in the direction of love will bring your true love closer to you.”
www.newscanada.com
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“The United States generated $957 million in revenue in 2008 from online dating services[1] The U.S. online dating market is expected to increase spending to $932 million in 2011.[2] The most successful niche sites pair people by race, sexual orientation or religion.[6] The 20 most popular dating sites in 2006 as ranked by Hitwise include JDate (for Jewish singles), Christian Mingle, ChristianCafe, Manhunt (same sex introductions), Love From India, Black Christian People Meet, Amigos (for Latino singles), Asian People Meet, and Shaadi (for Indian singles).[6] In March 2008, the top 5 overall sites held 7% less market share than they did one year ago while the top sites from the top five major niche dating categories made considerable gains.[7] In 2002, a Wired magazine article forecast that, “Twenty years from now, the idea that someone looking for love without looking for it online will be silly, akin to skipping the card catalog to instead wander the stacks because ‘the right books are found only by accident.’ Serendipity is the hallmark of inefficient markets, and the marketplace of love, like it or not, is becoming more efficient.”[4] Most recently, it has become common for online dating websites to provide webcam chats between members. In addition, as the online dating population becomes larger, sites with specific demographics are becoming more popular as a way to narrow the pool of potential matches.[5]
Online daters may have more liberal social attitudes compared to the general population in the United States.[13]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_dating_service

)

Before I married, there was no such thing as a personal computer. Dating sites did not exist. Instead, the love potion song played on the radio.

Later when unattached, I became aware of looking for connections on the Internet. My single girl friends spoke of the web sites – they were members. They put a lot of effort into the profile that was uploaded. At site, they spent hours checking different profiles. They also chatted on-line late into the evening. One found a gentleman on an online dating site and chatted him up. She later found out that the picture on his profile was one of twenty years ago. When she finally met him, he didn’t looked anything like the posted picture.

But on-line dating never appealed to me. After a long day at the office, it was hard for me to get on a computer and visit the sites. The thought of chatting with a stranger was even less appealing. I saw this as a waste of time.I preferred getting dolled-up and going to a social event. I enjoyed meeting people at such a setting.

I don`t have much personal experience with dating sites.

I have visited some out of curiosity. I have viewed some over someone`s shoulder. I also did some research.

Posted by alaposta on January 22nd, 2012 Read More 21 Comments

CHILD OBESITY: It’s on the rise and I have some facts, causes, statistics and also opinions – I want to fix this!*

Vol. 2, No. 34, January 15th, 2012
TITLE: “CHILD OBESITY: It’s on the rise and I have some facts, causes, statistics and also opinions – I want to fix this!*”
INTRODUCTION

This week, l will write about obesity in children. It’s a challenge of one family at a time. It’s also a problem, in many countries, of society at large. As a mother and grandmother and someone with lots of cooking experience, I have some opinions. This subject is serious and urgent – I will try to ruffle your feathers and dislodge you from your do-nothing perch. My book of the week is: “Defeating the Child Obesity Epidemic” [Paperback] by Dr. Carolyn Ashworth. (Author). (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on child rearing and education.)

PREVIEW: Valentine’s Day is coming …Valentine’s Day is coming. There are many people looking for love. Next week, l will write about dating sites. For many, they are part of the solution. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

Growing up, I witnessed my mother struggling with her weight. She tried many diets. It was a seesaw … she lost some weight, then she gained it back. For her, weight has always been a difficult puzzle. At one point in her life, she gave up trying to lose weight and accepted the fact that she would never be a thin person.

As a child, I liked to play. As an adult, I soon realized that I had to eat healthy and exercise.

With the birth of each of my daughters, I was in charge of a new mouth to feed. I knew that it was important that she be at the right weight. In the pre-internet age, I spoke to my Mom and relied upon my pediatrician. I paid attention to nutrition for normal growth and development. My young children were healthy and average body mass. I guess I got it right. As they grew, I wanted this to continue. But good food is important in an Italian family. And I like to cook and I know my way around a kitchen. I prepared hearty meals and wanted my family to eat their fill. As I was conscious of portion control, I watched what I put on their plates. I encouraged my kids to play outside and also particaipte in soccer and other sports. I did my part and watched my children grow up healthy and slim.

My daughter is also of the same mind as me. She feeds her two very young children only healthy meals. They are not allowed junk food or sweets on a regular basis. Their dessert is fruit. She also knows that activity is very important for children. She keeps her kids active. As a result, both are at an ideal weight.

The other morning, I was watching a television show and the subject was child obesity. The journalist reported that “one in four children in Canada are obese”. I was shocked. That’s a high number. Obesity among children is a big threat.

THE AUTHOR: Dr. Carolyn Ashworth (Author)
Dr. Carolyn Ashworth is a mid-west girl. She received a Bachelor of Science degree in Chemistry from Georgia State University. In 1973, she received a Doctor of Medicine degree from the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School (she did her first two years at the medical faculty school of Emory University in Atlanta). She did her three year pediatric internship and residency at Children’s Medical Center in Dallas, She was chosen as Chief Pediatric Resident for an additional year. She was a Professor of Pediatrics, Clinical Medicine, at UT Southwestern. She has been: (a) Chief of Staff at The Medical Center of Plano (1996); (b) Member of Board of Trustees at TMCP; (c) President of the Plano Patient Physician Network. She is an award winner: (a) Health Care Hero of the Year Award from the Alliance for Excellence in Health Care; (b) Texas Monthly Super Docs for the last 7 years; (c) honored in D Magazine for best pediatricians, and each year has been listed in America’s Top Pediatricians; (d) Health Care Hero of the Year Award from the Alliance for Excellence in Health Care; etc. She is also an author, having written “Defeating the Child Obesity Epidemic.”In this regard too, she is an award winner: (a) Finalist for the Independent Publisher’s Award; (b) 2006 Writer’s Notebook Award in the category of Home-Family-Parenting books; (c) 2005 Texas Dietetic Association Bluebonnet Award. All of this to say is that she is a REAL expert. She knows of what she speaks. Listen up!

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles:
* “Defeating the Child Obesity Epidemic.”

Eating properly and being active contributes to good health. Children obesity has become a global epidemic.

THE BOOK: “Defeating the Child Obesity Epidemic” [Paperback] by Dr. Carolyn Ashworth (Author)
Obesity is a sad condition. One obese child spells heartache. Obesity in many children spells a disaster. Let’s talk turkey … put away your knife and fork…it’s not for eating. This doctor knows the symptoms, makes a diagnosis and a prognosis and makes recommendations. This is not ivory tower stuff. This is practical How-to for everyday people like you and me. How-to what you ask. Here’s a couple: (a) How to tell if your child is overweight, or obese; (b) How to move your family from junk food to healthy eating; (c) How to get your kids off the couch and into action; (d) How to emulate obesity fighters across the country; (e) How to become a good role model for your children; (f) How to be successful without fad dieting; (g) How to make changes and not drive everyone crazy; (h) How to parent for the long term; etc. Read it and give our kids a chance. I take it that you love your kids. Show it by listening to the good doctor. I am counting on it.

CONCLUSION

Eating properly and being active contributes to good health. Children obesity has become a global epidemic

Personal Comments

Here are my ABCs of child obesity.

As a person, you will get hungry, then you will eat food. When you’re full, you will stop. It is important for everyone to eat healthy in moderate amounts. If you eat good foods, you will have more good calories. Less fats ingested will mean less fat accumulated and less girth on the body. Psst. I have a secret. I will tell it to you. You don’t have to promise not to tell anyone else. But it’s still a secret because it works. My son-in-law and his brother, a personal trainer, say it very succinctly: …to lose weight – you need to eat less and be more active.

Teaching children these lessons will help them be at an average weight. Oh … nearly forgot…loving your kids showing your love , will make them, feel loved and give them self- confidence and self -esteem. That will help them in maintaining weight levels.

Being overweight is a tough place to be. Obesity causes many health problems – high blood pressure, diabetes, joint problems, depression, low self-esteem, etc. Ultimately a shorter life span. Furthermore, big people may also have emotional issues. My heart goes out to them. Some critics say that they lack discipline and self-control. It upsets me when I hear such negative remarks. If an adult, being obese is sad- it’s also very tough. If involving a child, it’s a problem that keeps on giving.

I am worried … no… very worried about our children.

It is the duty of parents to teach the children to eat healthy. Some parents indulge their children with food as a sign of love.They really need to recognize that if overfeeding, they’re killing their children with kindness. Instead, it is especially important to feed the children properly. They also need to become aware that today’s children are on their way to become chair-sitters or couch potatoes. Thye are growing up in an age when electronic technology, (e.g., computers and technology gadgets), is their main activity and entertainment. We need to get them to be much more active. Playing is a necessity for children. It teaches them to be imaginative and communicate with other kids. Being outdoors and playing sports gives them an appreciation and a passion for life.

My generation had its problems. The current generation in infancy and childhood has another. It is a fact that obesity among children is on the rise – it is a veritable epidemic. Going through life with obesity, a child suffers tremendously. Their self-esteem is low; they have health issues. Most of them feel they don’t fit in with the rest of the children.

Obesity is a tragedy that does NOT have to happen. You can change the future. Are you up to the challenge? I hope so…not only for you, but also for your kids. Please…pay attention…get with the program…

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

My trio to fight child obesity is to encourage healthy eating, active living and loving your child without limits. More precisely, I say to parents everywhere to:

The Point

1. Fix standard meal times especially dinner - a family should have their meals together as family eating habits contribute to better health; in addition,
1.1 Recognize the benefits from good nutrition – I say that when you lose, you will gain much!
1.2 Prepare healthy foods in a healthy way;

1.3 Keep to reasonable portions;
1.4 Provide healthy snacks;
1.5 Give your child a healthy, nutritious breakfast every day to jump start his-her day;
1.6 Encourage your children to eat healthy;
1.7 Stop giving pop drinks except on special occasions
1.8 Suggest that your child,if back for seconds, wait 15 minutes to see if he-she is still really hungry;

2. Encourage your child to be active; in addition,

2.1 Limit his-her time watching television, playing with electronic games and using computers;

2.2 Enroll him-her in sports;
2.3 Encourage him-her to play;
2.4 Organize play groups with other kids;
2.5 Enroll him-her in a sport of his-her preference;

2.6 Register him-her in an activity in which he or she can participate;
3. Love your child without limits;

I have a dream: Every child should be well fed, lean, active and loved.

Are you with me?*

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
P.S. Big News: There are big changes coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.
P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com - saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
====================================================================================================================
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Tubby President
“When he moved into the White House in 1909, the 325-pound William Howard Taft found many of the building’s fixtures (including hundreds of doors) “inadequate” for his needs and ordered renovations. In particular, the president was prompted to order the installation of a special jumbo bathtub (large enough to accommodate four average-sized men) when, after using the original bathtub for the first time, he got stuck and required considerable assistance to get out!”
(Source: http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=4845)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Luciano Pavarotti: Industrial Appetite
“The opera star Luciano Pavarotti certainly enjoyed eating. While staying in Miami, he reportedly demanded that his hotel’s management outfit his room with an industrial-size butcher’s slicer. Pavarotti traveled with his own supply of meat, it was explained, and wanted to ensure that he would be able to fix himself a snack.”
(Source: http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=17276)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Oprah Winfrey: Heavy Thought
“Oprah Winfrey once recalled the moment that she realized that she had to lose some weight. She attended a World Heavyweight bout in Las Vegas – and realized that she weighed more than the winner. (“Coincidentally,” Conan O’Brien once joked, “the same thing happened to Pavarotti at the Kentucky Derby.”)”
(Source: http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=14366)
S & R* QUOTE #1: Sir Julian Huxley
“There are two ways of living: a man may be casual and simply exist, or constructively and deliberately try to do so. The constructive idea implies a constructiveness not only about one’s own life, but about that of society, and the future possibilities of mankind.”
(Source: http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/)
S & R* QUOTE #2: Greta Crosby
“If I could give you one key, and one key only to more abundant life, I would give you a sense of your own worth, an unshakeable sense of your own dignity as one grounded in the source of the cosmic dance, as one who plays a unique part in the unfolding of the story of the world…”
(Source: http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/)
S & R* QUOTE #3: Thomas F. Healey
“Don’t strew me with roses after I’m dead. When Death claims the light of my brow,No flowers of life will cheer me: insteadYou may give me my roses now!”
(Source: http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index6.html)
ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “childhood obesity”;
Childhood Obesity
“Childhood obesity is a condition where excess body fat negatively affects a child’s health or wellbeing.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childhood_obesity
SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“The first problems to occur in obese children are usually emotional or psychological.[5] Childhood obesity however can also lead to life-threatening conditions including diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, sleep problems, cancer, and other disorders.[6][7] Some of the other disorders would include liver disease, early puberty or menarche, eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia, skin infections, and asthma and other respiratory problems.[8] Studies have shown that overweight children are more likely to grow up to be overweight adults.[7] Obesity during adolescence has been found to increase mortality rates during adulthood.[9] Obese children often suffer from teasing by their peers.[10][11] Some are harassed or discriminated against by their own family.[11] Stereotypes abound and may lead to low self esteem and depression.[12] A 2008 study has found that children who are obese have carotid arteries which have prematurely aged by as much as thirty years as well as abnormal levels of cholesterol.[13] Childhood obesity can be brought on by a range of factors which often act in combination.[17][18][19][20][21] The greatest risk factor for child obesity is the obesity of both parents. This may be reflected by the family’senvironment and genetics.[22] A child’s weight may be influenced when he/she is only an infant. Researchers did a cohort study on 19,397 babies, from their birth until age seven and discovered that fat babies at four months were 1.38 times more likely to be overweight at seven years old compared to normal weight babies. Fat babies at the age of one were 1.17 times more likely to be overweight at age seven compared to normal weight babies.[45] Exclusive breast-feeding is recommended in all newborn infants for its nutritional and other beneficial effects. It may also protect against obesity in later life.[43] Rates of childhood obesity have increased greatly between 1980 and 2010.[53] Currently 10% of children worldwide are either overweight or obese.[2]”
(Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Childhood_obesity)
SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: Help your child to have a healthy mind and body
“To keep kids healthy on the inside and out, here are some tips from the National Eating Disorder Information Centre at www.nedic.ca:
Focus on health and wellbeing, not appearance; e.g., is your child energetic and healthy regardless of size?
Eat together as a family. Research shows that kids who regularly eat dinner with their families have fewer emotional and eating problems. Encourage healthy eating and physical activity for the entire family.
Make sure that your child knows that you love them regardless of their size or weight.
Expect fat and thin children to eat similarly.
Build children’s self-confidence by encouraging exploration and learning from setbacks.
Build good self-esteem in all children for who they are and what they do, not how they look.
Be creative and assertive in finding the right clothing and equipment for your child’s body.
Don’t comment on your own or others’ weight or body shape; don’t admire or belittle thinness or fatness.
Limit looking at media that emphasize thin models or put a high value on physical beauty.
Discuss with children their ideas about beauty, and encourage enjoyment of their natural features.”
www.newscanada.com
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Help available in overcoming obesity
“Canadians who are severely obese losing weight can be a lifelong battle, but what some may not realize is that it’s not for lack of trying. The good news is that there are variousmedically-assisted weight loss procedures that can help. Gillian Taggart, a 40 year old mother of two, knows firsthand the impact of living with severe obesity. After spending nearly $10,000 on different weight loss methods, Gillian decided to undergo a laparoscopic adjustable gastric banding procedure. From weight loss programs and diet books to gym memberships and diet pills I had tried them all. I just couldn’t find the right weight loss method for me. I recall having a real moment of truth one day, when I could no longer participate in everyday activities like grocery shopping or walking my children to school. At that moment, I realized how unhealthy I was, that I would not live to see my children grow up. After discussions with my physician I decided to undergo a medically assisted weight loss procedure which helped me end my cycle of obesity. Since my procedure, I’ve lost 120 pounds and am now able to travel and participate in a more active lifestyle.In Canada, there are different medically assisted weight loss procedures available, including the gastric balloon, laparoscopic adjustable gastric banding and gastric bypass. Additional information is available online at www.yourmomentoftruth.ca.
www.newscanada.com“
TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved

Posted by alaposta on January 15th, 2012 Read More 11 Comments

PHYSICAL WORKOUT: I have a plan, program and schedule – I love the happy endorphins!*

Vol. 2, No. 33, January 8th, 2012
TITLE: “PHYSICAL WORKOUT: I have a plan, program and schedule – I love the happy endorphins!*”
INTRODUCTION

It’s that time of the year when most people are thinking about getting fit and losing a pound or two. This follows the never-ending eating fest over the holidays. This week, my subject is physical exercise. I will speak about a do-it-yourself project of the gym kind. Thank you for joining us. My book of the week is: “101 Ways to Work Out with Weights: Effective Exercises to Sculpt Your Body and Burn Fat!” [Paperback] by Cindy Whitmarsh (Author), Kerri Walsh (Foreword) . Let’s do it! (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on health and fitness.)

PREVIEW: Next week, l will write about obesity in children. It’s a challenge of one family at a time. It’s also a problem, in many countries, of society at large. As a mother and grandmother and someone with lots of cooking experience, I have some opinions. You can access this table talk, starting late next Sunday night. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on child rearing and education.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

My physical fitness routine has changed through the years.

Early phase: As a youth, I was energetic. Physical activity was a big part of my life. As a young woman, I started exercising at home. I bought a stair climber, a weight machine and some free weights. I aimed for four to five sessions a week, each of ½ hour.

Middle-age: Once I turned 40 years old, I knew that it would be harder to maintain my youthful physique. In order to do so, weight training would become my focus along with cardio. I joined a gym and trained after work. This was very difficult since the gym, in the evenings, is crowded at its full capacity. Further, my energy level was down. I needed a new routine.

Workplace phase: Luckily, exercise classes were being offered by my employer at lunch time and in the evening. I joined circuit-training and pilates and I chose the noon sessions. The circuit training class was great. A qualified-trainer set up posts. Each person trains 30 seconds at each post and then moves onto the next until the cycle is complete. We repeated the cycle until out of time. I also had female co-workers with whom I worked out. I loved it. I also felt energized.

Retirement phase: After I retired, I didn’t exercise for four months. I felt tired, sluggish and generally miserable. Although I didn’t gain weight, I felt heavy and out of shape. I started looking around for a good gym. My better half and I found one close to home and we now train four times a week for a maximum of 1 1/2 hours each time. Our program is: (a) 30 minutes of running/walking machines: Cross trainer, Treadmill, Elliptical,Stepper, stationary bike, etc.; (b) 30 minutes of machines: 1st day – Arms & shoulders(Biceps, triceps, etc.); 2nd day - Legs and thighs; 3rd day - Front & back; and 4th day: Mix of this; (c) 10 minutes of free weights (dumbells); (d) 5 minutes of barbells; and (e) 10 minutes of mat exercises (abdominals) and stretches.

THE AUTHOR: Cindy Whitmarsh
Whitmarsh is a licensed sports nutritionist and fitness instructor. In 1997, she founded Ultrafit Nutrition Systems in 1997. She is also the founder of Ultrafit Kids and Ultrafit Food on the Go! She also writes books. To learn more about this lady, I invite you to visit www.Ultrafitnutrition.com.

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books/Articles:
Some are:

“Ultrafit Cooking”

“UltraFit”
“101 Ways to Work Out on the Ball”
“101 Ways to Work Out with Weights Effective Exercises to Sculpt Your Body and Burn Fat”
“Ultrafit Challenging Workouts — Amazing ResultsDVD Video”
“Ultrafit Fat Burning Workout”
“�10 Minute Solution&#65533″ (a target toning DVD)

THE BOOK:”101 Ways to Work Out with Weights: Effective Exercises to Sculpt Your Body and Burn Fat!” [Paperback] by Cindy Whitmarsh (Author), Kerri Walsh (Foreword)

This book is written more for women; but men are still welcome to pick it up. It is perfect for someone wanting to start or improve a weight-lifting routine. It is about dumbbells …not those with nothing between the ears, but that old reliable piece of workout equipment. They are a common part of a home gym, because they are low tech and inexpensive. But more often than not, due to lack of knowledge, they`re not used correctly or not at all. With her direction, they could be just what you needed to get you to the fitness promised land. I agree. The words of this lady are so powerful, they could firm you up and slim you down. It’s win win!

CONCLUSION

Getting and staying fit is a very good thing.

Personal Comments

It is common knowledge that people start the New Year with the resolution of joining a gym and getting into shape. As a result, gyms get lots of new members in January, but many drop out a short time later.

Physical exercise is a big part of healthy living. Exercise affects every aspect of our day-to-day activities. The benefits of exercising are enormous. Besides the physical, there are many emotional advantages – some are: self-confidence, overall mood, stamina, etc.

Physical training should include:
(a) Cardio – this addresses your cardiovascular system. The program may be with gym machines or by outdoor workouts. Routines target endurance, calorie-burning, etc. Sweating is good.
(b) Resistance machines;
(c) Weight training : Free weights (dumbells) & Barbells – It is important for losing weight, raising your metabolism, body strengthening, etc.
(d) Mat exercises and stretches – These are to build strong, stable and firm abdominal muscles (abs). Abdominal exercises are important. There are abdominal plyometric, stretches, flexibility, etc.

With my current gym program, I feel stronger and tighter. I also have a happy and postive feeling of well-being. This is due to happy endorphins. I get my share …do you?

A gym has a particular ambience. Ours is located in a strip mall drug store size. Besides the training equipment, there are TV screens with newschannels and sports channels. There is an aerobic studio; but, it’s not my thing at this time. The snack counter has healthy shakes and bars plus health store packaged foods; I am thinking about soon ordering something. For me, gym chic doesn’t mean T-shirts and sweat shirts with the gym logo - I prefer my personal style no-name gym wear. I particularly liked the wall of fame. The gym owner as a young body builder is prominently featured. There were several signed photos of gym goers who made good: elite athletes, professionals, etc.

Gym community: There is also a social dimemsion. The gym staff and personal trainers are helpful and cheerful - I find this surprising as I am not a morning person. Ours is a popular place - it has an eclectic group of people. I rekindled several old acquaintances and also met some new people.

Seniors should make exercise part of life – it’s the key to longevity and keeping young. It’s also something that you can do with your mate.

The Point
Physical exercise is the way to go. It’s a surefire way to get your endorphins up…

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
1. Ask yourself, “What’s the good with exercise? I thought that you would never ask. I say that there are many benefits to exercising. Exercise will:
1.1 Improve your health;
1.2 Improve your mood;
1.3 Give you stamina;
1.4 Boost your energy;
1.5 Control your weight along with proper eating habits;
1.6 Improve your sex life;
1.7 Improve your sleeping pattern;
2. Find out what type of exercise that you prefer; to this end,

2.1 Try aerobic classes to see if they are your cup of tea;

2.2 Walk or run to get the systems green to go;

2.3 Discover and use the various resistance gym machines

2.4 Pump some iron on a regular basis for strength
2.5 Concentrate on abs

2.6 Top it off with a few good stretches.

3. Commit to what works for you – this is how to continue

4. Make exercise a lifelong habit to achieve the good life!

Any gym sense? If not, get some. You’ll be better for it. And you might even have some fun!

Exercise machine
Climbing machine
“Also named stair-climbing machines, they work the user’s legs as he/she pumps pedals up and down, much like climbing stairs. Some climbing machines have handles to push and pull to exercise the whole body.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –– http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exercise_machine
Resistance weight machines
“Weight machines use gravity as the primary source of resistance, and a combination of simple machines to convey that resistance, to the person using the machine. Each of the simple machines (pulley, lever, wheel, incline) changes the mechanical advantage of the overall machine relative to the weight.”

(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exercise_machine

Physical Fitness
“Physical fitness, a general state of good health, usually as a result of exercise and nutrition.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fitness)

Health
“Health is the level of functional or metabolic efficiency of a living being. In humans, it is the general condition of a person’s mind, body and spirit, usually meaning to be free from illness, injury or pain (as in “good health” or “healthy”).[1]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health)

Physical Exercise
“Physical exercise is any bodily activity that enhances or maintains physical fitness and overall health and wellness. It is performed for various reasons including strengthening muscles and the cardiovascular system, honing athletic skills, weight loss or maintenance, as well as for the purpose of enjoyment.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_exercise)

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“Physical exercise is important for maintaining physical fitness and can contribute positively to maintaining a healthy weight, building and maintaining healthy bone density, muscle strength, and joint mobility, promoting physiological well-being, reducing surgical risks, and strengthening the immune system. Exercise reduces levels of cortisol[13], which causes many health problems, both physical and mental.[14]
Frequent and regular aerobic exercise has been shown to help prevent or treat serious and life-threatening chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, obesity, heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, insomnia, and depression.[15] Endurance exercise before meals lowers blood glucose more than the same exercise after meals.[16] According to the World Health Organization, lack of physical activity contributes to approximately 17% of heart disease and diabetes, 12% of falls in the elderly, and 10% of breast cancer and colon cancer.[17]
Too much exercise can be harmful. Without proper rest, the chance of stroke or other circulation problems increases,[46] and muscle tissue may develop slowly. Extremely intense, long-term cardiovascular exercise, as can be seen in athletes who train for multiple marathons, has been associated with scarring of the heart and heart rhythm abnormalities.[47][48][49]Inappropriate exercise can do more harm than good, with the definition of “inappropriate” varying according to the individual.”
Types of exercise
“Physical exercises are generally grouped into three types,[7] depending on the overall effect they have on the human body:
• Flexibility exercises, such as stretching, improve the range of motion of muscles and joints.[8]
• Aerobic exercises, such as cycling, swimming, walking, skipping rope, rowing, running, hiking or playing tennis, focus on increasing cardiovascular endurance.[9]
• Anaerobic exercises, such as weight training, functional training, eccentric training or sprinting, increase short-term muscle strength.[10] Categories of physical exercise
• Strength training
• Agility training
• Eccentric Training”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Physical_exercise)

SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: Stay in shape with winter exercise
With the cold winter months upon us, we can choose to hibernate or we can make the best of it and discover a winter wonderland that is full of possibilities. While bundling up in front of a crackling fireplace has its appeal, taking a brisk walk on a crisp, sunny day beforehand will make it that much more enjoyable. Staying active year-round has many health benefits. Properly designed activities can keep your weight in check, increase your flexibility and overall fitness, and do wonders for your state of mind. When it comes to your joints, physical activity can provide direct benefits. When you’re active, you’re actually feeding your joints. Cartilage depends on joint movement to absorb nutrients and remove waste. Cartilage, ligaments and bone also become stronger and more resilient with regular exercise. Physical activity and exercise actually help keep joints healthy. Even if you haven’t been physically active in a while, it’s never too late to start. Physical activity doesn’t have to be difficult. The Arthritis Society offers the following winter tips:Stay warm. When heading outdoors, remember to wear a hat even on moderate days. If it’s very cold, breathe through a balaclava or scarf.Take to the trails. Consider taking a lesson in cross-country skiing or snowshoeing. Both activities have a low impact on your knees, yet work the whole body and can burn an incredible 480 calories per hour even at a relatively relaxed pace. Many winter resorts, ski clubs and provincial parks offer equipment rentals, as well as instructions. Play in the snow. Build a snowman or a snow-fort, or make snow angels. Or challenge the neighbours to a game of snow-pitch. Don’t forget your shovel. That snowy sidewalk has to be cleared anyway, so why not turn shovelling into an impromptu workout? Shovelling snow requires as much energy (read: burns as many calories) as running at 15 km per hour. A fully-loaded shovel can weigh up to 25 pounds. But you can minimize the
strain on your muscles and joints, and still get a great work out by taking your time and stretching beforehand. Drink plenty of fluids. Remember to stay well hydrated when exercising in cold weather just as you would when exercising in warm weather. Even if you’re not thirsty, remember to drink water or sports drinks before, during and after your workout. You can become just as dehydrated in the cold as in the heat from sweating, breathing and increased urine production, but it may be harder to notice during cold weather.
Speak to your doctor before you start a vigorous activity to ensure it’s suitable for you. You can learn more about managing arthritis online at www.arthritis.ca.”
www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Keep your children fit while they play
“(NC) Toys that encourage physical fitness are a great way to keep your children fit, active and having fun all year-round. Therefore, putting just the right activity-gift under the tree will not only ensure your kids have fun, but will also stay healthy without even realizing it.What is an activity-toy? One of the most popular activity gifts is the ride-on-toy. Aside from being fun, ride-on-toys offer many additional benefits such as developing a sense of balance and coordination, and make a big contribution to a child’s overall physical fitness. This year, take a look at the PlasmaCar by Plasmart Inc. It’s a mechanical marvel that can be driven on any flat surface, indoors and outdoors, and is powered solely by kid-power. This
attractive vehicle is a fun way for kids to ride around the neighbourhood, keep their bodies fit, and have fun at the same time. It requires no batteries or fuel, just the occasional cookie or two for the driver. What makes a good outdoor gift? Outdoor toys need to be well made. Not only do they need to stand-up to rough and tumble kid treatment, they need to be able to survive all types of weather. Outdoor toys should also have rounded corners to help prevent scrapes and cuts that go hand-in-hand with outdoor fun. Makers of the PlasmaCar say it’s highly durable and can handle a load of up to 100 kg (220 lbs) on a smooth, flat surface, and 55 kg (120 lbs) on a rough, flat surface. Not only will it handle the daily abuse at the hands of your children, it’s so durable that parents can have fun riding it too. The colour is highly appealing to kids and with its rounded curves, seat and steering wheel, this design will help reduce summer bumps and bruises.”
www.newscanada.com
TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved

Posted by alaposta on January 8th, 2012 Read More 4 Comments

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS: I have some statistics and ideas to succeed – here’s my list!*” – (Update 2012)

Vol. 2, No. 32, January 1st, 2012
TITLE: “New Year’s Resolutions: I have some statistics and ideas to SUCCEED – here’s my list!*”(Update 2012)

INTRODUCTION

This week, I will present my annual post on New Year’s resolutions along with an update. I am pleased that you came by to take a look? Who knows, it might give you a boost for a change for the better? My book of the week still is: “Resolutions That Work: How to make & keep New Years resolutions” [Paperback] by Serge Prengel. My topic is succeeding at New Year’s resolutions. My bonus book for this week is: ”The Art of The Fresh Start: How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions for a Lifetime” [Paperback] by Glenna Salsbury (Author)

PREVIEW: Next week, l will talk about physical fitness. After the holidays most of us have gained a pound or two. It’s that time of the year when most people are thinking about getting fit. Why don’t you join us? (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

New Year’s resolutions work for me. One year, then newly alone, I was VERY determined to start a social life. I needed to find single acquaintances. I made a few resolutions; and I figured out how to achieve them. I called a few people and started the ball rolling. And in a short while, I had a whole new group of unmarried friends.

This year, my New Year’s resolutions are to eat properly and be fit. Seeing my mother in such poor health has made me realize how important one’s health is. Being active is just as necessary as eating properly. I am now more conscience of preparing daily healthier meals.

THE AUTHOR: Serge Prengel
Serge Prengel graduated from France’s Sorbonne University and HEC Business School. He started and operated an ad agency in New York for many years. In the early 1990’s, his shifted gears. He is a “Focusing-Oriented Psychotherapist- Focusing Trainer”. His clinical training is in Somatic Experiencing and Core Energetics. He is licensed by N.Y. State and he works in New York City. His FOT Specialty areas are: trauma, adults, body Psychotherapy and couples. His other specialty areas are: anger management and life coaching. He is all for the life changes that one may want. He aims to set off your creative juices. His hope is to foster new perspectives leading to the new you. He uses the occasion of New Year’s and the popular pastime of making resolutions. He wants you to succeed at your resolutions. He has a strategy; and he really believes that if you follow his suggestions, you can bring about personal improvement and real change.

SERIES/COLLECTION
His books include:

“Self leadership workbook”
“Feel Heard – Not Hurt! Proactive Couples Communication Workbook”
“Commitment phobia woirkbook”
“The Cat & The Box: A fable about feeling stuck”

THE BOOK: “Resolutions That Work: How to make & keep new years resolutions” [Paperback] by Serge Prengel
This book is VERY short and sweet. The author is a man of a few words, but he makes do with less. He recognizes the internal conflict between the old you and the new you. He is very efficient in the communication of his three principles. According to him, embrace his program and you will get to the promised land of a better you and a better life.

BONUS BOOK: “The Art of The Fresh Start: How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions for a Lifetime” [Paperback] by Glenna Salsbury (Author)

AUTHOR(bonus Book): Glenna Salsbury
For over 20 years, Glenna Salsbury has been a speaker and motivational coach.. She is one the very good ones, being a member of the National Speakers Associatio and holding the prestigious Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation, and the Council of Peers Award for Excellence (CPAE).

SERIES/COLLECTION

Her books include:

“Heavenly Treasures” by Glenna Salsbury (Jul 7, 2009)
“A Passion for People: You Can Live the Life You Long For” by Glenna Salsbury (Feb 1, 2008) - Unabridged
“Spiritual Living: A Passion for a Purpose (Inspirational and Practical Steps to Live in Faith and Abundance)” [3 Dynamic Programs on 3 Audio CDs] by Chris Widener, Zig Ziglar and Glenna Salsbury (2005)
“The Art of The Fresh Start: How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions for a Lifetime” [Paperback] by Glenna Salsbury (Author)

THE BOOK: “The Art of The Fresh Start: How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions for a Lifetime” [Paperback] by Glenna Salsbury (Author)
Your life is a ‘masterpiece’ and you are the artist who can make it the beautiful piece of work that it can be. Her simple truth is that you’re not going to change if you don’t want to change. Said another way, if you don’t dream of the change and it is not perceived as something of an added value, it won’t happen. She has an approach. She explains it. She intends that you have the tools to achieve true realizable change. Insight into your value system is key and motivation is an important factor. This book can be part of the solution. Pick it up if you dare.

CONCLUSION:

It is usual for one to want to improve oneself and one’s life. However, it is noteworthy when one really tries to do it. And it is exceptional when someone actually accomplishes it.

My personal comments

I desire to better myself as a person and improve my life. On January 1st, like most people, I set some goals and make New Year’s resolutions. I know that if I set my sights too high,

I might not get there. I also confess that I don’t always follow through. Although I may not reach my goals, I still achieve something. In any event, I also subscribe to the credo of a good friend who says, “Aim for the stars and hit the sky!*”

In my view, making New Year’s resolutions is a great custom. With this exercise, one gains, not only the betterment, but also, an overall positive feeling of self empowerment and satisfaction. As a further bonus, one may have some fun while getting there.

It might even change your life. And you could also become a better person.

The point
A personal renewal project is a perfect perennial. Everyone should take advantage of the opportunity. It pays dividends. Let’s do it! Here are some how-to suggestions.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
A person wishing to make and accomplish a successful resolution should:
1. Examine the past year and try to figure out:
(a) “What could have gone better?”
(b) “What is causing you dissatisfaction?”
(c) “What quality being exhibited is holding you back?”
(d) “What new skill set may propel you to the next level?”
2. Leave behind any negativity that might be felt- don’t beat yourself up; instead,
2.1 Forgive yourself;
2.2 Learn from the mistakes made and move on, all the while, ensuring that you do NOT repeat the same errors.
3. Start the New Year on a positive note, striving for more;
4.Enunciate goals for the coming year and to this end,
4.1 Choose a subject area (see the above Heading, “Popular New Year’s resolutions”, for examples.) – remember you cannot do it all and you have to start somewhere.
4.2 Prioritize – determine what area is more important to your overall success and focus on that!
4.3 Address a particular aspect, be it small or big; then, aim to correct it;
4.4 Be reasonable in your expectations, in this regard,
4.4.1 Recognize that what you set as your goal will impact upon whether you fail and the extent achieved.
4.4.2 Don’t start what you do not intend to finish.
4.5 Strive to make progress gradually – don’t try to do it ‘cold turkey’ … all at once!
4.6 Tell family members about your ambitions – they will be your ardent fans…more impotantly, they will be a built-in support group;
5. Make an action plan to achieve each sub-resolution – this means a timeline for each ‘baby step’;
6. Set small goals that are attainable – break the goals down into small quantifiable ‘baby steps’; this is key to your rate of success; making each into realistic sub-resolutions; (say, for example, if you want to read 10 books, make each book a sub- resolution.)
7. Be kind to yourself; more precisely,
7.1 Forgive your indiscretions on route to the achievement of your ‘baby steps;
7.2 Reward yourself with a small treat after accomplishing each sub-resolution; this is essential in providing immediate gratification and encouraging you to look to the next sub-resolution;
8. Be conscious of the power of attitude; whatever you do,
8.1 Go into this with the right frame of mind: you will get it done, no excuses.
8.2 Do this with gusto – never take a “whatever-will-be … will-be” approach; this spells certain defeat.
8.3 Understand the word, “persistence” – show it!
9. Aim for the finish line; and when it is in view,
9.1 Steel your resolve;
9.2 Look into yourself for that additional effort and boost of adrenalin to push you across to victory;

Cheers – In the new year, please have the new you call the new me and we’ll do lunch*
And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
P.S. Big News: There are big changes coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.
P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com - saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta
*TM/© 2011,2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
___________________________________________________________________________
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Resolution
One New Year’s day, while serving as State Department spokesperson, Bernard Kalb made a public resolution to be “candid, frank, useful and constructive”. Shortly thereafter, a reporter presented Kalb with his first question of the new year. His reply? “I have nothing that I can offer you on that.”
(Source: Anecdotage) –
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Biting Demands…
On the eve of the Millennium, “Sex and the City” star Sarah Jessica Parker made an unusual New Year’s resolution: to stop chewing on the inside of her own mouth – a nasty habit which often left her inner cheeks bitten, blistered and bloody. Did Parker keep her resolution? Alas, no. It “bit the dust” a mere 20 minutes into 2001.
(Source: Anecdotage) –
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Dan Miller: New Year’s Resolution
O-Town’s Dan Miller was once asked whether he had made any New Year’s resolutions. Yes, he replied: “To learn how to play bass… I set realistic resolutions. I’d never try something absurd, like giving up chocolate.”
(Source: Anecdotage) –
S & R* QUOTE #1: Charles Dickens
I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.
(Source: http://www.wisdomquotes.com/)
S & R* QUOTE #2: Ella Wheeler Wilcox
When Christmas bells are swinging above the fields of snow,
We hear sweet voices ringing from lands of long ago,
And etched on vacant places
Are half-forgotten faces
Of friends we used to cherish, and loves we used to know.
“Christmas Fancies” – Poems of Power
(Source: http://www.wisdomquotes.com/)
S & R* QUOTE #3: Pauline Kael
Where there is a will, there is a way. If there is a chance in a million that you can do something, anything, to keep what you want from ending, do it. Pry the door open or, if need be, wedge your foot in that door and keep it open.
(Source: http://www.wisdomquotes.com/)
ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “New Year’s Resolutions”, “commitment”, etc.

New Year’s Resolutions
“New Year’s resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or the reforming of a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year’s Day. Some examples include resolutions to donate to the poor more often, to become more assertive, or to become more environmentally responsible. There are religious parallels to this secular tradition. People may act similarly during the Christian fasting period of Lent, though the motive behind this holiday is more of sacrifice than of responsibility. During Judaism’s New Year, Rosh Hashanah, through the High Holidays and culminating in Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), one is to reflect upon one’swrongdoings over the year and both seek and offer forgiveness. The concept, regardless of creed, is to reflect upon self-improvement annually.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year’s_resolution

Commitment
“Commitment means to show loyalty, duty or pledge to something or someone, and can refer to: Personal commitment, interaction dominated by obligations. These obligations may be mutual, or self-imposed, or explicitly stated, or may not. Distinction is often made between commitment as a member of an organization (such as a sporting team, a religion, or as an employee), and a personal commitment, which is often a pledge or promise to ones’ self for personal growth.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commitment

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:

Bonus fact #1: Success rate
“Recent research shows that while 52% of participants in a resolution study were confident of success with their goals, only 12% actually achieved their goals. Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting, (a system where small measurable goals are being set, such as, a pound a week, instead of saying “lose weight”), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends.[3].”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year’s_resolution

Bonus fact #2: Top 5 resolutions by SlideShare survey
For the year 2012, the top 5 resolutions, as identified by a SlideShare survey [4] are:
• Be financially-savvy
• Read at least one book per month
• Eat properly
• Get enough sleep
• Keep a journal of awesome moments
(Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year’s_resolution

)

Bonus fact #3: What are the popular New Year’s resolutions?
Here are several:
•Drink Less Alcohol
•Get a Better Education
•Get a Better Job
•Get Fit
•Lose Weight
•Manage Debt
•Manage Stress
•Quit Smoking Now
•Save Money
•Take a Trip
•Volunteer to Help Others
(Source:USA.gov; government made easy) – http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/New_Years_Resolutions.shtml

SCHEDULE III

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#1: Keep finding little ways to brighten someone’s day
(NC) It doesn’t need to be January 1 to make a resolution. Each year many of us resolve to do something that improves our lives. And the good news is that doing little things for others often creates big results for all of us. In 2012, specialists say, if you resolve to pay-it-forward and look for those instances that will brighten someone else’s day, it will brighten yours too. Helping out and doing acts of good can lift your spirits, which impacts your well-being and mood, and in turn, can positively impact those around you, says psychotherapist Kimberly Moffit. Think about a time when someone did something nice or unexpected for you. You probably felt pretty great, but so did the person doing the good deed.This should come easily to Canadians, she says, since we are known for being polite and kind. In fact, a recent survey commissioned by LG Electronics, indicates that more than 90 per cent of Canadians would be willing to give a complete stranger 20 minutes to help move appliances and home electronics. Armed with this information and knowing that life’s good moments come from good acts, LG took to the streets to capture Canadians ‘doing good through staged moving scenarios in cities across Canada. Actors struggled to move appliances and home electronics on their own and appealed for help from passers-by. The result: many of us helped out, reinforcing our Canada the good reputation. This experiment showed that even though we’re busy, Canadians are still willing to help, Moffit pointed out. Let’s continue this tradition of kindness and look for opportunities to brighten someone’s day all year round.
www.newscanada.com

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#2: Resolutions for life Seven simple steps to better health – By: Jane-Diane Fraser
If you could add a decade or more of healthy years to your life, wouldn’t you grab the chance? The simple things can make the biggest difference, says
Heart and Stroke Foundation lecturer Dr. Clyde Yancy, adding that up to 80 per cent of premature heart disease is preventable.
Follow these seven simple steps to embrace your best health potential.
1. Get Active. Physical activity can be a lifesaver literally. Inactivity can shave almost four years off a person’s expected lifespan. People who are physically inactive are twice as likely to be at risk for heart disease or stroke.
2. Know and Control Cholesterol Levels. Almost 40 per cent of Canadian adults have high blood cholesterol. You can get your numbers on track by making healthy dietary changes, being active 30 to 60 minutes most days, achieving and maintaining a healthy body weight, and becoming tobacco-free.
3. Follow a Healthy Diet. Healthy eating is one of the most important things you can do to improve your health yet about half of Canadians don’t meet the healthy eating recommendations. The Foundation recommends that adults eat seven or more vegetables and fruit every day. Canadians can find healthy
eating tips and recipes at healthcheck.org.
4. Know and Control Blood Pressure. By knowing and controlling your blood pressure, you can cut your risk of stroke by up to 40 per cent and heart attack by up to 25 per cent.
5. Achieve and Maintain a Healthy Weight. Achieving and maintaining a healthy weight is one of the best things you can do for your heart health.
Being obese can reduce your life span by almost four years.
6. Manage Diabetes. By 2016 an estimated 2.4 million Canadians will live with diabetes. Diabetes increases the risk of high blood pressure, narrowing of the arteries, coronary artery disease, and stroke, particularly if your blood sugar levels are poorly controlled.
7. Be Tobacco-free. More than 37,000 Canadians die prematurely each year due to tobacco use, and almost 8,000 non-smokers die each year from exposure to second-hand smoke. As soon as you become tobacco-free, your risk of heart disease and stroke begins to decrease. After 15 years your risk will be nearly that of a non-smoker. Healthy living is key to preventing heart disease and stroke, says Bobbe Wood, president of the Heart and Stroke Foundation. The Foundation is committed to raising awareness about heart health and helping Canadians live longer, healthier lives. Canadians can take a personalized My Heart&Stroke Risk Assessment to find out how their age, family history, and medical conditions affect their heart health at heartandstroke.ca/risk.
www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on January 1st, 2012 Read More 8 Comments

NEW YEAR’S EVE / DAY PARTY RECIPES, DECORATIONS, GAMES: I have some ideas – let’s have fun!* (UPDATE 2011)

Vol. 2, No. 31, December 27th 2011
TITLE: “NEW YEAR’S EVE/DAY PARTY RECIPES, DECORATIONS, GAMES: I have some ideas - let’s have fun *”

(UPDATE 2011)

INTRODUCTION
New Year’s Eve could be a magical evening if spent with the right people partying at the right place. My book of the week remains “The New Year’s Eve Compendium: Toasts, Tips, Trivia and Tidbits for Bringing in the New Year” by Todd Lyon. Hence, my topic is doing New Years better! But this year,I have a bonus book – it is “Wild Women Throw a Party” Paperback by Lynette Shirk (Author). I then have two books in one post. This New Years, you’re invited. Please put on your party shoes and join in the fun.

PREVIEW: Next week, I will present my annual post on New Year’s Resolutions along with an update. Why don’t you come and take a look? Who knows, it might give you a boost for a change for the better?

MY LIFE & TIMES*
New Year’s Eve

My New Year’s Eve tradition has been to go to a party; but the routine has changed through the years.
Grandparents’ party
As a child, growing up, New Year’s Eve was a BIG family celebration. After dinner, we went to the home of my grandparents. We were a crowd of 35+- persons: all of my aunts, uncles, cousins along with my parents and brothers plus invited guests.The spirit of New Year’s Eve definitiely lived at their house. My grandfather picked out some joyful New Year’s music, which played throughout the evening. Just like on Christmas, my grandmother would bake all of our favorite, traditional desserts and the dining room table had plenty of finger foods, drinks, etc. At midnight, my grandfather took out the champagne and we all would toast the New Year. We looked back, reminiscing about what had happened in the prior 365 days. And we looked forward to the joy, health and prosperity which we hoped would turn up in the coming 365. It was also a time of fun and games. My grandmother loved to play bingo. So at some point in the evening, she took out the game pieces and we would play and play. All in all, a good time was had by all.
Reception hall party
When I got married, we continued this tradition until my daughters became teenagers. And then, along with friends, we started to party as a family going to a New Year’s party held at one of the big reception halls. These were very glamorous soirees – everyone was dressed to kill; so we wore party wear. There was plenty of good food and drink; and the entertainment was first rate. Yes you are right – party hats and whistles were included. The atmosphere was festive yet still good taste 14 and over. While these nights out on the town were expensive, they were well worth the money.
Big restaurant meal
In another year, I went to a restaurant on New Year’s Eve. But this was not a good experience. The dining room was packed and very loud – it was a total zoo. The food was not hot and up to the usual quality. And the service was so slow that fast food was prohibited from the premises. I then decided that going to a restaurant on December 31st was not a good idea.
Dance
After my divorce, my daughters went to their own parties with their friends. For a number of years, I got all dolled-up and I celebrated the New Year with my single friends at our association party. I had my usual one gin and tonic, loud music, friendship and lots of laughs. Oh yes, I nearly forgot, there was also some stale chips. How could I miss? I had a good time.
Hotel event
One year, my friend and I decided that we would celebrate New Year’s Eve at an event held in a big downtown hotel. It did NOT turn out well. I felt lost in space. It was a huge letdown.
Party for two
For the last couple of years, now in a committed relationship, I have again changed my routine. Lately, we stay home and have an exclusive party for two. We have a lovely home dinner and a couple of drinks, watching the Times Square shows. We have fun.

New Year’s Day

In my family, New Year’s Day is a big deal. We were were a big group: my three brothers, their wives and kids. Way back, my mother used to prepare a huge meal at noon- it was soup to nuts and her cannelloni was to die for! We popped the corks on several bottles of sparkling wine and an effervescent time was had by all. Later, we started doing dinner at a restaurant. My Mom loved a Greek bring- your- own -wine restaurant and so this became our new tradition. Now that my Mom has been ailing, we again changed the custom. It’s lunchtime at my Mom’s house. If you’re a close relative and bring some bubbly, you’re welcome to come. In the past, we have ordered take-out. Psst …can you keep a secret? This year, I will get it done with my favourite high quality Italian bakery. I will order trays of lasagna along with an Italian cake – it is sponge cake with alot of acohol, vanilla and chocolate filling with white icing and almonds.

And here’s my New Year’s decoration Superstar. My Mom has a neighbour, who, as part of his holiday decorations, he put up a big “2000″ above his front balcony, to celebrate the Millenium. Every year since, he changes the last number to correspond to the coming year. It’s really neat!

New Year’s added bonus

This year, late afternoon on New Year’s Day, we will also be celebrating my grandson’s first birthday. It will be wonderful. I’m so looking forward to it. I already warned my daughter that, by that time, I probably won’t be hungry. She’s serving hors d’oeuvres and then cake and coffee. Not to worry…I will pace myself.

January 2nd

On the day after, I plan to pull myself onto the couch. I don’t expect to be able to move much. If you come to my web site …please don’t bring food…I just might explode….

THE AUTHOR: Todd Lyon
She has been a freelance writer published by the New Haven Register at New Haven Ct. She is on the food beat. She has written about restaurants, etc.

SERIES/COLLECTION
Her books include:
• 50 Ways to Read Your Lover
• 50 Ways to Read Your Lover: Secret Strategies That Reveal the Real Him

THE BOOK: “The New Year’s Eve Compendium: Toasts, Tips, Trivia and Tidbits for Bringing in the New Year” by Todd Lyon
Todd Lyon speaks food. She puts on her party animal hat. She aims high….look up … higher…to the top of the heap: New Year’s Eve. This is the pinnacle of Partyville and the Super Bowl of partytime. She has a sense of history when it comes to this celebration; and she has ideas and suggestions respecting themes, drinks, recipes, games, etc. Take them or leave them – she offers food for thought (pardon the pun). For me, it adds to my research. For that, I am appreciative. Is it the last word to be written? … probably not. I leave that to you!
(Fact Source: http://www.amazon.com/New-Years-Eve-Compendium-

BONUS BOOK 2011 – “Wild Women Throw a Party” Paperback by Lynette Shirk (Author)

THE AUTHOR (BONUS): Lynette Shirk

Well, I think I’ve found a lady with similar interests. Her name is Lynette Shirk. She loves to cook and bake. And she is also a writer. Sound like anyone you know? Her credentials are very good. She graduated with a BA in Classics from the Ohio State University. She attended the California Culinary Academy, receiving professional chef training. She has worked in some great kitchens on both coasts – from San Francisco to NYC. Her signature creation is her unique Java Lava coffee-bean brittle.

SERIES/COLLECTION
Her books include:

“Wild Women in the Kitchen”
“Wild Women Throw a Party”

THE BONUS BOOK – “Wild Women Throw a Party” Paperback by Lynette Shirk (Author)

I’m a little nervous speaking about a real WILD woman. You see I am very lady like, but I still like to have fun. And this book does the trick. There are the expected recipes, and favorite foods; but there are also stories, anecdotes and historical facts about some classy ladies of yesteryear through to today: Dorothy Parker, Joan Crawford Mary Pickford, Sarah Jessica Parker. etc. It’s like a history class on parties with a feminine flair. I like it. It’s a perfect compliment to my primary book. It adds to the pronounced female touch to party planning and giving. It is also food for thought and table talk. I like it a lot.

CONCLUSION

New Years is the start of another year. I don’t think it should start on a sour note; rather, I truly want it to be a good night for you and me. Just maybe, it will set the tone for a great year to come. This said, let’s party!

My personal comments
I always look forward to the holidays. New Year’s Eve is the second of the December festivities. This is the occasion ostensibly calling for serious partying and drinking, potentially through to the small hours of the night. It could be a time for great fun. In my opinion, it really depends on the answer to these questions:
1. “How you are feeling?” Regardless, I say: “On the afternoon of December 31, pack up the problems and stack them in the garage. Then put on a happy face and embrace the joy and hope of the dawning year.”
2. “With whom do you party?” I say: “This is one of the keys. For example – when I went to a downtown hotel party- it was an unpleasant experience. Spending New Year’s Eve in a roomful of strangers can be lonely. I prefer being with people who are meaningful: loved ones, family friends, my girl friends, etc.
3. “Does it pass the kiss test?” I say: “Just imagine being in a glamorous hotel or hall for a New Year’s Eve party, with a room full of strangers and a friend or two. Midnight comes and everyone is toasting the new year and then strangers came around, making small talk, extending superficial wishes and giving a little peck – believe me it was unsatisfying. Now I’m with someone special and at midnight, the kiss is now meaningful. At this moment, I’m thinking of going into the new year with this wonderful person and I am hopeful that it will bring health, happiness, prosperity, etc. I aim high for each one of you – I truly wish for you the same sentiment and experience.
The point
On New Year’s Eve, the venue is not key. The food does not have to be gourmet quality. Music is not essential. In other words, the party is not the point. Instead, it is about fun regardless the form. Most often, it is about being with one or more friends. It could be more, when with one’s significant other.
ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
“New Year’s Eve party ideas: I have some!*” I suggest that you:
1. Refuse to have a lousy night. If not, it has the potential of being a total bust. If alone, making no effort, it could be a real downer! Or if at a party, you could be saying: “Boy, is this lousy, let’s leave!”
2. Recognize that it is in your power to make it the greatest night of your life. I want you to say: “Oh boy, this is great!”
If alone
3. Decide to have fun on New Year’s Eve – plan it out:
3.1 Create one or more new tradition(s):
3.1.1 Make a meal that is out of the ordinary – try to make something different;
3.1.2 Make a phone call to an old friend or a family member, catching up on news, wishing them well, etc.
3.1.3 Do something that YOU LIKE TO DO:
(a) Go to the movie rental store and have a home movie marathon, (if you like movies) – don’t forget the popcorn and candy. Or go out to a movie or double feature;
(b) Go bowling and ask to join up with others, already there; and have a beer – it’s New Years.
3.1.4 Go to a specialty coffee outlet or an all-night-breakfast place for some near midnight refreshment.
If with one or more friends
4. Invite a friend or two to hang out and order take out; then get comfortable and,
4.1 View a DVD movie: a classic or new release, preferably still unseen as of yet;
4.2 Have a cool one and chill out;
4.3 Play a party game like charades; and
4.4 Watch the TV New Year’s Eve programming.
If attached and/or with children
5. Invite another couple/family or two over to your house; and
5.1Buy party favors: hats whistles, etc.;
5.2 Ask that each home contribute a meal sufficient for them, whether home -cooked or delivery and put it all out buffet/ serve yourself style;
5.3 Bring spirits or beer plus one bottle of sparkling wine;
5.4 Bring a dessert; and
5.5 Call the kids around at 12:00 AM to share the moment.
5.6 Don’t forget the midnight kiss!!

Oh sugar! My party hat fell on the dance floor and my whistle fell into the punch bowl. Oh what the hoot, have a happy New Year to you and yours! Cheers!*
And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
P.S. Big News: There are big changes coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.
P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com - saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta
*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: New Year’s Date
“Babysitters are getting $100 an hour on New Year’s Eve,” David Letterman reported on the eve of the Millennium. “That’s more than my date will be getting!”
(Sources: “Late Show with David Letterman”)
(Source: Anecdotage) – -http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=13032

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Vince Neil: Happy New Year
“During a live broadcast of “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” shortly after midnight on New Year’s Eve 2004, Motley Crue frontman Vince Neil said something remarkable to bandmate Tommy Lee: “Happy f—ing New Year, Tommy!” Though the F-word utterance was edited out for West Coast viewers, East Coasters heard it loud and clear. But according to an NBC official, “The network has not received any calls regarding the incident.”
(Source: Anecdotage) –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Ozzy Osbourne: Happy &#@!$ New Year!
“At their 2002 New Year’s Eve bash in Beverly Hills, Ozzy and Sharon Osborne raffled off a $42,000 diamond necklace. Some time later, they contacted local police in a bid to get the article back. The problem? The woman who won the necklace had not been invited to the party!”

S & R* QUOTE #1: Greta Crosby
“If I could give you one key, and one key only to more abundant life, I would give you a sense of your own worth, an unshakeable sense of your own dignity as one grounded in the source of the cosmic dance, as one who plays a unique part in the unfolding of the story of the world…”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) - http://www.wisdomquotes.com/

S & R* QUOTE #2: Marge Piercy
“Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/

SCHEDULE I
IT WORDS FOR ME!*
For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “New Year’s Eve”; “party”; “year 2010″ etc.
New Year’s Eve
“New Year’s Eve or Old Year’s Night is on 31st December, the final day of the Gregorian year, and the day before New Year’s Day. New Year’s Eve is a separate observance from the observance of New Year’s Day. In modern Western practice, New Year’s Eve is celebrated with parties and social gatherings spanning the transition of the year at midnight. Many cultures use fireworks and other forms of noise making in part of the celebration. New Year’s Eve is observed universally on 31 December according to the year numbering of the CE (Common Era), or AD (Anno Domini) convention, even in non-Christian nations. New Year’s Eve is also the seventh day of Christmas in western Christianity. Traditional and religious celebrations for e.g. the Chinese, Muslim and Jewish new year, which occur on different dates, are still celebrated separately in the cultures that observe them, on the appropriate dates each year.”
(Source:Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year’s_Eve
Party
“A party is a gathering of people who have been invited by a host for the purposes of socializing, conversation, or recreation. A party will typically feature food and beverages, and often music and dancing as well. Some parties are held in honor of a specific person, day, or event (e.g., a birthday party, a Super Bowl party, or a St. Patrick’s Day party). Parties of this kind are often called celebrations. A party is not necessarily a private occasion. Public parties are sometimes held in pubs and bars, and people attending such parties may be charged an admission fee by the host.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Party
Year 2011
“2011 (MMXI) is the current year, which is a common year that started on a Saturday. In the Gregorian calendar, it is the 2011th year of the Common Era (CE) and the Anno Domini (AD) designation; the 11th year of the 3rd millennium and of the 21st century; and the 2nd of the 2010s decade.The United Nations has designated 2011 the International Year of Forests and the International Year of Chemistry.[1]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011SCHEDULE II
SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS: Times Square Ball
“Each year during the New Year’s Eve celebration in Times Square in Manhattan, New York City, a time ball made by Waterford Crystal[1] and electric lights is raised to the top of a pole on the One Times Square building[1] and then lowered to mark the coming of the New Year. The Ball descends 77 feet (23 m) over the course of a minute, coming to rest at the bottom of its pole at 12:00 am. Toshiba’s Times Square billboard directly below the Ball counts down to midnight as well. Every year up to one million people gather in Times Square to watch the Ball drop, and an estimated 1 billion watch the video of the event, 100 million of them in the United States.[2]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Times_Square_Ball

Bonus Fact #1: Canada
“In Canada, New Year’s traditions and celebrations vary from region to region. Generally, New Year’s Eve (also known as New Year’s Eve Day or Veille du Jour de l’An in French) in Canada is a social holiday. In major metropolitan areas such as Toronto and Montreal, major celebrations with music and fireworks are often held at midnight. Other common New Year’s Eve celebrations such as late-night partying are also major events in these cities and other places around Canada. In some areas, such as in rural Quebec, people ice fish and drink with their friends until the early hours of January 1.[2] On television, the sketch comedy troupe Royal Canadian Air Farce had been known for their New Year’s Eve specials on CBC, which in addition before the start of their weekly television series, was one of their first forays into television after years on radio. Consequentially, the series finale of their television series was a New Year’s Eve special on December 31, 2008, although due to their popularity, the CBC requested that they return for a New Year’s Eve special for 2009.[3][4]
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Year’s_Eve

SCHEDULE III

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: New Year’s Eve
“Profile America — Friday, December 31st. On this New Year’s Eve, more than 310 millionAmericans of all ages are ready to greet the year 2011. A hundred years ago, the U.S. population was just over 92 million — 50 years ago, it was nearing 181 million. To show how fast the nation is growing, by this time tomorrow, there will be almost 12,000 new babies on hand to welcome the new year. Tonight’s celebration will see many of the 186,000 musicians and singers in the U.S. entertaining crowds in night clubs, bars, and restaurants across the country. Also on hand will be most of the 365,000 bartenders and just over 2 million waiters and waitresses. The men and women of the U.S. Census Bureau wish you a happy, safe, and prosperous new year.”Sources: Historical Statistics of the United States: Colonial Times to 1970, p. 10 Statistical Abstract of the United States 2010, t.80, 603
http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2010edition.html
(Source: U.S. Census bureau) = http://www.census.gov/multimedia/www/radio/profile_america/profile-even-31.php)

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: New Year’s Eve and Day
“More than 311 million – The nation’s projected population as we ring in the New Year.”
Source: Population projections <http://www.census.gov/population/www/projections/2008projections.html>
*TM/© 2010 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by alaposta on December 27th, 2011 Read More 34 Comments

Antoinette's Page

FIND MR. / MS RIGHT: I have the secret, tips..HOW -TO!*

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.* Volume #2

Antoinette’s Famous Liquor Cake(Famoso torta di liquore di Antonietta)

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*

VALENTINE’S DAY: SPENDING IT ALONE (OR NOT) – I HAVE THOUGHTS & IDEAS: gifts, cards, flowers, etc.* – UPDATE 2012

ON LINE DATING: There are web sites for free, over 50 – with statistics and reviews, I have some tips!*

CHILD OBESITY: It’s on the rise and I have some facts, causes, statistics and also opinions – I want to fix this!*

PREVIEW: Valentine’s Day is coming …Valentine’s Day is coming. There are many people looking for love. Next week, l will write about dating sites. For many, they are part of the solution. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

PHYSICAL WORKOUT: I have a plan, program and schedule – I love the happy endorphins!*

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS: I have some statistics and ideas to succeed – here’s my list!*” – (Update 2012)

NEW YEAR’S EVE / DAY PARTY RECIPES, DECORATIONS, GAMES: I have some ideas – let’s have fun!* (UPDATE 2011)

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