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COUPLES’ DATE NIGHT: Ideas, outfits, recipes, games, free, at home, etc.- I have a report!*

Vol. 3, No. 50, Monday, March 11th 2013

TITLE: “COUPLES’ DATE NIGHT: Ideas, outfits, recipes, games, free, at home, etc.- I have a report!*”

INTRODUCTION

Romance does not have to end after the honeymoon. It’s sad when it does and it tends to go from bad to worse. Spouses regularly going on a date with each other is one way to fight this unwelcome condition. My book of the week is, “I Do, Now What?: Secrets, Stories, and Advice from a Madly-in-Love Couple” [Hardcover] by Giuliana Rancic (Author), Bill Rancic (Author) I hope you take a look. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on relationships, romance, dating and marriage.)

ANTOINETTE’S LIFE & TIMES*

My Parents: As a child, my parents took the children to family gatherings like weddings or parties. In part, this was due to my reaction as a child of four or five. According to the story told by my mother, she had a wedding to attend and she called a babysitter. Apparently, I cried when she left and was still crying on her return. She vowed never to leave me behind ever again.

Early married: While I was a young married – date night was something we rarely did.

Motherhood: Once with children, things changed. While we had many outings, they were mostly as a family.

My reasons were simple. First as a working mom, my time with my children was very precious. Since I worked during the week, I made sure to spend the weekend with my children. Second, I also wanted to include my children in our family outings. Third, I also had a story like that of my Mom. There was one New Year’s Eve when we had a get-together at the home of my grandparents. My daughter was only two years old and I was feeling under the weather. I called a babysitter to come for the evening. My daughter cried when I left and when I later called the babysitter, she told me that my daughter had cried herself to sleep. This news made me sad. From then on, I swore never to leave my daughter behind unless it was absolutely necessary.

Me & Myself: Now attached long term, we go out Friday night. It’s sometimes drinks and finger food but mostly it’s dinner together.

Grand Motherhood: My daughter organizes many outings with her husband and the kids. But occasionally, she and her husband go out for the evening without the children. She then calls the grandparents for babysitting duty. I am pleased to do this … it’s a pleasure … I enjoy the babysitting time tremendously. By the way, we’re cheap – we charge $0 per hour and we won’t lower our price under any circumstances.

P.S. I also have some stories of friends.

#1. A friend says that since the beginning of her marriage, she and her husband made every Saturday night, “Date Night”. This tradition still continues to this day. Her children apparently didn’t like this much, but with time, they got used to it. She’s convinced that this works and it’s important for a marriage.

#2. A coworker says that she would often bring her daughter to her mother’s for the weekend. The reason was not only to give her Mom the chance to have quality time with her grandchild, but also for this lady and her husband to enjoy the weekend together: sleeping in, going out for dinner and dancing. The only downside was that her daughter came to resent it.

THE AUTHOR: Giuliana Rancic & Bill Rancic

Giuliana Rancic (née DePandi): She is an entertainment interviewer and the anchor and managing editor of E! News. She wrote the book, “Think Like a Guy.” Giuliana & Bill star in The Style Network’s hit reality show, “Giuliana & Bill.”

Bill Rancic: Winner of Donald Trump’s show, The Apprentice, he is an American entrepreneur. He oversaw the construction of Trump Tower in Chicago. He is now a motivational speaker and wrote the best seller, “You’re Hired and Beyond the Lemonade Stand.” Bill and Giuliana are the hosts of NBC’s new relationship show upcoming Ready for Love.

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles:

Several are:

I Do, Now What?: Secrets, Stories, and Advice from a Madly-in-Love Couple by Giuliana Rancic and Bill Rancic (Sep 28 2010)
Youre Hired by Bill Rancic (Aug 19 2004
Beyond The Lemonade Stand by Bill Rancic (Sep 13 2005)
You’re Hired Cd Unabridged by Bill Rancic (Sep 1 2004)
Orsinian Tales by Ursula K. Le Guin and Bill Rancic (Jan 30 1975)

THE BOOK: “I Do, Now What?: Secrets, Stories, and Advice from a Madly-in-Love Couple” [Hardcover] by Giuliana Rancic (Author), Bill Rancic (Author)

This show business couple are newlyweds, facing the average trials and tribulations of newly marrieds. They’re living the subject. Going behind the scenes of their real-life marriage, they provide an insight into such issues as Money (bank account: joint or separate); Household chores (neat vs disorganized); (c) Having a family. They offer suggestions regarding: (a) Communication, (b) Support, (giving or receiving); (c) Trust and jealousy, (d) Quality time, (e) Friends and in-laws, (f) Arguing and fighting; and (g) Romance and sex.

More information is power!

CONCLUSION

Everyone deserves true love. There is someone out there who is for you.

Relationship and marriage are really important. They contribute to happiness. Of course, we want to make them to be as good as possible. Like everything of value, it takes work. Learning more is good. Then build up relationship and marriage and make them stronger. I want you to be happy!

Personal Comments

I say:

That over time, the tendency is for a couple to take each other for granted and drift apart.
That all couples need time to stay connected and reconnect to rekindle the romance.
That if a Mom working out of the home, we have guilt about leaving young children at home to spend time with their husbands. It should not be at the expense of the children. We want more quality time with children than is possible.
That if with youngsters, it’s difficult to have a date night. Try a date night periodically.
That if your kids are older, have a regular date night – it will give you special time to focus on each other.

The Point

Couples should have a regular date night. It’s a good idea. But consider your children, especially if very young.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

Everyone in a longterm relationship should:

1. Recognize that a successful relationship and marriage takes effort of each partner at every stage of life;

2. Show that you care – it can keep the romance alive in a marriage. To do this, ask questions:

How are you doing?
Is there anything I can do to help you?
What are your present hopes and dreams?
Can I do some of the housework?

3. Be aware that having regular quality time with your mate is important; here’s a few ways to make it happen at least once every week:

Meet during lunch time if you can share lunch hour together.
Set aside time at the end of the day to sit and talk … over a drink or a cup of coffee or tea.
Organize something after the children are in bed … a candle light dinner for two not in the kitchen. Sitting in the dining room says it’s special – it would go a long way in the right direction.
Do things together; it helps keep your relationship strong and healthy. For example,
Go for a walk
Play a sport that you both enjoy
Go dancing
Take a course
Go to the gym and workout as a couple
Have a game night at home and play one of your favorites from way back when. It’s fun and also free.
Have a movie night at home or at the theatre. Don’t forget the popcorn and a drink …your choice …

4. Try date night to go out as a couple; it should help rekindle the spark in your marriage. To do this

Ask him or her early in the week, say on Tuesday, to go on a date on Friday night for dinner and …… (you fill in the blank). The asking makes it special.
Ask grandparents to baby sit. Both the children and grandparents would enjoy the time together.
Dress in a new outfit and primp like it’s a big deal – it is … it is date night!

Don’t you think you could do with some romance this week? Pick up the phone, and ask your committed partner, wife or husband on a date. Wouldn’t you like to look forward to this weekend?

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”

PREVIEW

P.S. Wowee …Wowee Shop Valente is finally open; and my new line of Antoinerte La Posta* brand of clothing is now available. There is still much more to come to the Save and Read* web site. Watch for it!

P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com – saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta

CREDITS

-Web Tech: richmediasound.com

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
*TM/© 2013 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
===============================================================

TWO – “IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “dating”

“Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating

THREE– STUDY/STATISTICS:

“From the perspective of the history of humans in civilization, dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which has mainly emerged in the last few centuries. From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology, dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have also been changing rapidly and which have been subject to many forces, including advances in technology and medicine. As humans have evolved from the hunter-gatherers into civilized societies and more recently into modern societies, there have been substantial changes in the relationship between men and women, with perhaps the only biological constant being that both adult women and men must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen.^[3]

If there is any aspect of dating which is common for both sexes, then perhaps the idea of being in love can be scary; one said “being really intimate with someone in a committed sense is kind of threatening” and described love as “the most terrifying thing.”^[58] In her Psychology Today column, research scientist, sex columnist and book author Debby Herbenick compared it to a roller coaster:

There’s something wonderful, I think, about taking chances on love and sex. … Going out on a limb can be roller-coaster scary because none of us want to be rejected or to have our heart broken. But so what if that happens? I, for one, would rather fall flat on my face as I serenade my partner (off-key and all) in a bikini and a short little pool skirt than sit on the edge of the pool, dipping my toes in silence.

—^[59]

One dating adviser agreed that love is risky, and wrote that “There is truly only one real danger that we must concern ourselves with and that is closing our hearts to the possibility that love exists.”^[60

One Ethiopian writer described a couple, when dating, as happy, at parties and movies and recreation centers and swimming pools, while they appeared to be less so after being married; still the writer thought marriage was the “lesser of two evils” when compared with the single life.^[78] Marriages link families in Ethiopia since the dowry paid by the family of the bride is often significant financially.^[79] According to one source, there are four ways that marriage can happen in Ethiopia: (1) arranged marriage, when well-respected elders are sent to the girl’s family on behalf of the boy’s family; (2) courtship or dating after a friendly meeting between boy and girl such as at a market place or holiday where there’s dancing; (3) abduction, such as during a blood feud between families; (4) inheritance.^[79]” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating)

FOUR – BONUS ARTICLES

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#1: Treat your date to dinner at home

“Friday night dinner dates and Saturdays at the movies are not only heavy on the wallet but a fling of the past. Why not break out of the typical date night routine and wow your partner with a simple and delicious home-cooked meal?

With just a handful of ingredients, you can create an impressive dish bursting with exciting flavours. For a quick, stress-free dinner, try this simple stir-fry recipe below. The tangy Asian-inspired sauce mixed with fresh vegetables will make you swear off takeout for good.

Shrimp, Egg and Asparagus Stir Fry

Serves: 4

Prep time: 10 minutes

Cook time: 10 minutes

Total time: 20 minutes

Ingredients:

2 tbsp (30 mL) vegetable oil
2 cups (500 mL) asparagus pieces, cut into 1 lengths
1 lb (500 g) peeled medium-sized shrimp, thawed
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 jar (355 mL) VH Szechuan Stir-Fry Sauce or the General Tao Stir-Fry Sauce
½ cup (125 mL) finely sliced green onions
½ lb (250 g) rice noodles, cooked as directed on package

Directions:

1. In a large non-stick skillet, heat oil over high heat. Add asparagus and stir-fry for 4 minutes; add shrimp and cook while stirring for 3 minutes.

2. Lower heat, add eggs and let set slightly without stirring, about 1 minute. Break up eggs with spatula, pour in the Stir-Fry Sauce, green onions and stir to heat the mixture through, another 2 minutes. Serve on cooked rice or noodles.

Tip: To avoid overcooking the shrimp, make sure they are still undercooked before adding the eggs.” www.newscanada.com

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#2: Small gestures add up to big romance

“Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and men everywhere are breaking into a cold sweat. They’ve bought into the fallacy that romance equals money. But when we think of the most romantic and breathtaking stories of romance, they almost never involve flying off to Europe or drinking the most expensive champagne. It’s usually small gestures like holding hands, kissing in the rain, or simply stargazing that we remember. Opportunities for romance exist just about anywhere, and this Valentine’s Day, you can spoil your loved one without spending a fortune, like this:

1. Be savvy, not cheap. Buy flowers that are in season or shop around for deals and avoid delivery charges by buying locally.

2. Write your loved one a romantic letter and place it under their pillow. Or, write multiple love notes and post them throughout the house. Write something romantic on the bathroom mirror too.

3. Make love coupons. These are really up to your imagination. You can include coupons for a passionate kiss, a favourite meal, breakfast out, or a massage.

4. Take a walk down memory lane and visit some of the special places from your early days of dating.

5. Recreate your partner’s favourite romantic movie scene.

6. Pretend you’re going on a first date. Show up at the door with flowers, dressed up, with your car washed and cleaned. Re-live the first time.

7. Prepare strawberries with fondue chocolate.

8. Cook a romantic dinner together or enjoy take-out by the candlelight.

9. Hold hands and walk to a scenic area that has lots of pretty lights.

10. Make the world a better place together. Purchase a small gift like a bag of rice for just $10 through a non-profit organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada (www.ccfcanada.ca) and help fight poverty around the world.

11. Create a visual scrapbook of your everyday life together.

12. If you are feeling really creative, write a short story and make sure you and your partner are the lead characters destined to find love. Each year together, you can add a new chapter to the story.” www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on March 11th, 2013 Read More 1 Comment

FLIRT: flirty quotes, flirting tips, pick-up lines, etc. – I have an opinion or two!*

Vol. 3, No.24, Monday, September 24, 2012

TITLE: “FLIRT: flirty quotes, flirting tips, pick-up lines, etc. – I have an opinion or two!*”

INTRODUCTION

Calling all flirts. We’ve got to talk! I’ll start first. As you know, flirting can be by body language (non- verbal) or with words (verbal). Non-verbal flirting is critical to catch his eye. But if you want to reel him in, verbal flirting is crucial (I think that you will agree with me that most men need a push). Seeing that you’re here, I take it that you’re interested in finding Mr. Right; maybe he’s here. But if not, I am!

On the dating scene, forget walking the walk – you need to talk the good flirt. It is definitely a skill. Therefore, my topic this week is flirting of the oral kind. My book of the week is “Flirting For Dummies” by Elizabeth Clark. (Editor’s Note: This is a continuation of a series on dating, relationships and marriage.)

ANTOINETTE’S LIFE & TIMES*

Flirting is the signal you are giving to connect with someone who you find attractive.

Youthful dating: When I was young, I did not know much about flirting. And I did not consciously flirt.

Post-divorce period: At this time, although I did not consciously flirt, I knew that I was doing it. I recognized that body language speaks volumes. I do admit that I’m very transparent and sometimes I would prefer not to be so easily read. I needed a sign from a man before I responded to his flirtatious advances. Want some of my real-life stories, here are a few:

Anecdote #1: One day, while at a single’s dance, a gentleman approached me. During the conversation he said he felt intimidated to speak to me, but finally took the chance. He told me that what I was projecting was: “I do not want to be approached … I’m not interested”. I soon realized that if I wanted to meet someone, I needed to have a positive attitude.

Anecdote #2: I remember, watching at a distance, how a man approached a woman and sat down beside her. He kept chatting her up, but she didn’t appear to be interested. He didn’t get the message. At one point, she got up and walked towards the bar and bought a drink. She then wandered off to speak to other people and didn’t return to her seat. But he just waited for her to return. When she didn’t, he retreated very dejected.

When it comes to flirting with words, it’s very subtle what I do. It’s not my cup of tea to go over the top. Want some examples of my experiences, here are a few:

Pick-up lines used on me (We call it: “He said – She said”.):

1. He said: “Can I buy you a drink?” She said: “I have one thank you.” (I was very careful not to accept an offer of drink. I believe that if I took even one … then I would owe him something.)

2. He said: “You’re gorgeous.” She said: “Thank you.” (I did not dwell on this subject as I might appear full of myself.)

3. He said: “Are you a natural redhead?” She said: “Only my hairdresser knows for sure.” He said: “I know why you do your hair red …. it’s to be noticed and it works.” (I liked this.)

4. He said: “Where have you been all of my life?” She said: nothing … I just laughed.

5. He said: “Are you Italian?” She said: “Yes.” He said: “My ex-wife was Italian. While the marriage ended, it wasn’t her fault.” (I found that so refreshing.)

6. He said: “We’re having great weather, don’t you agree?” She said: “Yes. We’re lucky to have had a nice summer.”

“Things I would say (We call it: “She said – He said”.):

1. She said: “The DJ is great, don’t you think?” He said: “They play too much line dancing … how long will it go on?” She said: “about an hour.” He said: “Uggh.”

2. She said: “I’ve never seen you here before, is this your first time? Where did you find out about our dance?” He said: “Yes, I saw it advertized in the newspaper and on the Internet ….”

Extra

A friend told me when he was 18, seeing his date’s mother for the first time, he said: “Seeing you, I now know where your daughter got her beautiful looks.” He told me that from the look on her face, he knew that this line sunk like a lead balloon.

THE AUTHOR: Elizabeth Clark

Elizabeth Clark is an author on a variety of subjects. In 2009, she wrote Flirting for Dummies. She is recognized as a flirting and charisma expert. She has appeared on ITV’s Des & Mel, BBC Breakfast, etc., written up in the press and also featured in a host of radio shows.

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles:

Several are:

2009 – Flirting for Dummies (Paperback)
2008 – Stories to Tell and How to Tell Them (Paperback)
2007 – The Brookside Songbook (Paperback)
2005 – Single to Settled [Get a Life!] (Paperback)
2002 – Das Eselchen Und Der Weihnachtsmann [Ab 4 J.] (Hardcover)
2002 – Essential Scripts and Screen Plays Teacher Book [Models for Writing] (Paperback)
2002 – Developing Reading Writing Skills for the Year 8 Tests Student Book (Paperback) → Paperback
2001 – Practical Software Measurement Objective Information for Decision Makers (Hardcover)
1997 – Father Christmas and the Donkey [Picture Puffin S.] (Paperback) → Hardcover
1996 – Mystery Stories for Girls (Hardcover)

1996 – Country Tales [Hodder Story Book] (Paperback) → Paperback
1992 – At Home [Watch Out] (Paperback) → Hardcover
1992 – On the Road [Watch Out] (Paperback) → Hardcover
1989 – Fish [Food] (Hardcover)
1989 – Meat [Food] (Hardcover)
1988 – Tchaikovsky [Great Lives] (Other)
1986 – Tales for All Seasons (Hardcover)
1984 – Country Tales to Tell (Hardcover) → Paperback
1977 – Stories to Tell [Piccolo Books] (Paperback)
1977 Women and Religion a Feminist Sourcebook of Christian Thought (Paperback)

THE BOOK: “Flirting For Dummies” by Elizabeth Clark

When flirting is being done well, it looks so easy. But it is not. Knowing how is a boost for singles. Admitting that you really don’t know how is smart. Saying that you could do it better is smarter. Finding where to look is the smartest.

Elizabeth Clark, wrote the book on flirting, (a) Demonstrating examples of flirting with black and white photographs; (b) Informing of flirting basics and how to get noticed; (c) Explaining how to develop body language; (d) Giving advice on what comes next; (e) Counting down her TOP 10 TIPS on pick-up/opening lines and flirting no-nos

Clark makes it work as she comes across as somebody who knows all about it. She speaks of it as an art. I think she is right. We understand from Clark that if just arrived in town or new to the scene or ready to make a fresh start, flirting is good to go. She speaks about self-image and how to boost self-confidence.

The book covers body language. It has been said that non-verbal flirting can speak louder than words, The book also teaches you to be a good listener and communicator. The goal is to be able to engage people in a natural and charming way. This book can help!

CONCLUSION

On the dating scene, if flirting is a dirty word, many like to talk dirty!

Personal Comments

I say:

That feeling attractive gives one the confidence to flirt. Feeling good about the way you look projects to others. When you walk into a room, be noticed … walk in with confidence. This spells success!
That flirting tells someone you’re interested.
That flirting is appropriate for single people. The person who is flirting is saying: “I’m interested in someone new”.
That if you are in a relationship, flirting with others is NEVER proper.
That making a general, impersonal comment is the best way to go. His response will tell you if he is interested or not.
Then just be yourself; the rest will come naturally.
That when flirting, the tone of your voice should be low pitch – and the volume should also be low. Of course, whispering (sweet nothings) can be very seductive.
That a woman could also turn down a man’s advances.

The Point

To succeed in today’s single world, you probably need to do some flirting. While you may start with some positive body language, you need to say the right thing to really connect.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

A flirt wannabe should:

Flirting (non- verbal)

1. Overcome the fear of rejection. It also has been said that flirting is leaving your comfort zone-it can be a bit scary.

2. Learn the signs- flirting is a skill.

3. Put on a happy face – this is much more inviting.

4. Smile – make eye contact … if a man is looking at you, don’t look away.

5. If you’re with a group of women, isolate yourself so that he may approach you.

6. Focus on talking to him especially if there are others around.

7. Try one of these moves if really interested: (a) Touching his arm or hair; (b) Whispering in his ear; (c) Complimenting him; (d) Hugging him; (e) Standing close to him when talking. However, just so you know, I didn’t sit on a man’s lap.

Flirting (verbal)

8. Ask him questions about himself. If in a conversation with a gentleman who shows some promise); I would (a) Ask about work. Men like to talk about their job. (b) Raise the topic of sports – most men are into sports. (c) Ask about children. If he speaks about divorce, I would ask how it happened. If he said that his ex wife was a bitch, I would pass, (I found this a big turn off.)

9. Listen intently to what he has to say.

10. Don’t talk about yourself too much.

11. Speak mainly on what you have in common.

12. Stay away from clichés don`t say something as a figure of speech.

13. Remember, always be a lady.

14. Do it with class and with style – you will shine!

In my opinion, to sum up, flirting is about doing two things at the same time: having some fun with a member of the opposite sex and also trying not to put your foot in your mouth.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”

PREVIEW: THANKSGIVING (Canadian) – 2012 UPDATE (tentatively scheduled for Monday, Oct 1^st 2012 Let’s all give thanks at this annual event.

P.S. Big News: Did you see my new Home Page … check it out! Please tell me what you think. There are more big changes coming to my blog – please stay tuned.

CREDITS

-Web Tech: richmediasound.com

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
===============================================================

PAGE 2

NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY SAVE AND READ* (S&R*) BACKGROUNDER: ANTOINETTE’S 1, 2, 3, & 4

ONE – “I SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT!*” – QUOTES

S & R* QUOTE #1: Eleanor Roosevelt

“The giving of love is an education in itself.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

S & R* QUOTE #2: Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index6.html)

S & R* QUOTE #3: Ann Landers

“If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don’t have it, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.”

http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index12.html -#http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index12.html – # (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index12.html)

TWO – “IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “flirting”; “body language”;

Flirting

?Flirting or coquetry is a sexual activity involving verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, suggesting an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person. (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

Body Language

Body language is a form of mental and physical ability of human non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously.” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)

THREE – STUDY/STATISTICS:

“The origin of the word flirt is obscure. The Oxford English Dictionary (first edition) associates it with such onomatopoeic words as flit and flick, emphasizing a lack of seriousness; on the other hand, it has been attributed to the old French conter fleurette, which means “to (try to) seduce” by the dropping of flower petals, that is, “to speak sweet nothings”. While old-fashioned, this expression is still used in French, often mockingly, but the English gallicism to flirt has made its way and has now become an anglicism.

Flirting varies a great deal from culture to culture. For example, for many western cultures one very common flirting strategy includes eye contact. In these cultures, it is said that a look can say a million words.^[3] However, eye contact can have a very different meaning in some Asian countries. Men, however, may stare at Western women in such countries who might get in trouble if returning the glance. This act may mean that she is sexually interested instead of just flirting. Furthermore, Chinese and Japanese women are not expected to initiate eye contact which would be considered rude and disrespectful.^[4]^[^{unreliable source?}^]

The distance between two people is also important when flirting. People from the “contact cultures”, such as the Mediterranean or Latin America, may feel comfortable with closer distances whereas a British or Northern European person will need more space. Touching, especially of the hand or arm, is also part of flirting.^[5

Flirting may consist of stylized gestures, language, body language, postures, and physiologic signs which act as cues to another person. Among these, at least in Western society, are:

Eye contact, batting eyelashes, staring, winking, etc.
“Protean” signals, such as touching one’s hair
Giggling, or laughing encouragingly at any slight hint of intimacy in the other’s behavior
Casual touches; such as a woman gently touching a man’s arm during conversation
Smiling suggestively
Sending notes, poems, or small gifts
Flattery (regarding beauty, sexual attractiveness)
Online chat, texting and other one-on-one and direct messaging services while hinting affection
Footsie, a form of flirtation in which people use their feet to play with each others’ feet. This generally takes place under a table or in bed while rubbing feet. Participants often remove their shoes and play barefoot; however, it can also be played in socks, or wearing shoes. Though this method can backfire, as the general opinion of feet can depend on the culture and society of the area.
Teasing
Tickling
Banter
Staging of “chance” encounters
Imitating of behaviors (e.g. taking a drink when the other person takes a drink, changing posture as the other does, etc.)
Coyness, affectedly shy or modest, marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness (e.g. pickup lines).
Blowing a kiss
Singing love songs in presence of the girl/boy.
Maintaining very short distance during casual talking.

The effectiveness of these several interactions has been subjected to detailed analysis by behavioral psychologists, and advice on their use is available from dating coaches” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirting)

FOUR – BONUS ARTICLES

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#1: Keep your face fresh-looking in fall

“The fresh-faced look doesn’t just have to be for the summer. These four tips will help ensure that your face maintains its natural glow as we transition into the harsher, colder months.

Add moisture to your routine: The fall months are less humid than their summer counterparts, so adding more moisture to your skin care regime is important. As the air gets dryer use a richer, thicker moisturizer such as Simple Replenishing Rich Moisturizer to give back to your skin.

Use sensitive skin care products: Even if you don’t have sensitive skin, when the weather changes from warm to cold everyone’s skin could use a gentler skin care approach. You might notice that your face is more prone to redness and flushing as the wind picks up and the temperature drops. Environmental changes can often bring on skin sensitivities, so be kind to your skin and use products that are designed with this in mind.

Maintain the SPF: Don’t be fooled – the sun is still shining even though summer has come to a close. Make sure you keep SPF in your skin care regime as it will continue to help protect your skin and help fight the signs of aging, such as wrinkles look for a moisturizer with a broad-spectrum SPF.

Face, Neck and Hands: Your face isn’t the only part of your body that can benefit from your skincare regime – your neck and hands can too. This is particularly true in the fall as these delicate parts of your body are the most exposed to the cooler, crisper air.

More information on how to keep your skin feeling fresh this fall can be found at Facebook.com/simpleskincare.” www.newscanada.com

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#2: Online shopping safety tips: Don’t get more than you bargain for when shopping online

“With online shopping, it’s never been easier to buy what you want, when you want it.

Before you click confirm on a purchase or bid, do everything you can to protect yourself online. The federal government has created an online resource, GetCyberSafe.ca, to help you do just that.

Here are some tips for safe online shopping from GetCyberSafe.ca:

Look for the lock symbol on the website or https:// at the beginning of the website address (the means secure, an indication that the site is encrypted.

Don’t use public Wi-Fi to shop online.

Make sure your firewall is on.

Read the privacy policy and find out how your information will be used.

Be on the lookout for prices that are too good to be true. The items could be counterfeit.

Pay by credit card if you can. Do not send cash.

Check your credit card statements for unauthorized charges.

Don’t respond to emails or pop-up messages that ask for financial information. Legitimate companies don’t ask for this information this way.

Don’t allow auto fill for your passwords or personal information, like your address, and never allow a site to store your credit card information.”www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on September 24th, 2012 Read More 3 Comments

EROTIC ROMANTIC NOVELS – Fifty Shades of Grey: bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, Sadomasochism; I say WOWEE!*”

Vol. 3, No.23, Monday, September 17, 2012

TITLE: “EROTIC ROMANTIC NOVELS – Fifty Shades of Grey: bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadomasochism; I say WOWEE!*”

INTRODUCTION

I ask: “Do erotic, romantic, sex books turn women on?” I say: “There are millions spent buying these novels … there definitely is a market for them.” The controversial question is – do women prefer reading erotic books rather than romantic books? This week, I will continue on with the romance theme, exploring the difference between romantic novels and erotic novels. My book of the week is “Fifty Shades of Grey” by E.L. James. (Editor’s Note: This is another in a continuing series on dating, relationships and marriage.)

ANTOINETTE’S LIFE & TIMES*

I like to read books. I prefer mystery suspense and also romance. When I put down my romance novel, I come back to reality. I know the difference between what’s normal and a fantasy. By the way, when it came to the man in my life, I admit that it was important for me that he had a good job and earned a living. My concern was that he treated me right and with respect.

Romance novels of yesteryear

Romantic novels with a happily ever after ending are the preference. They focus on romance and emotions, centering on a relationship. There is a heroine and one day, a knight in shining armor appears from nowhere. Of course, women like to be the most important person in a man’s life and that’s the focus in these books. Beyond character and personality, good looks and wealth is important. Those qualities may reel you in, but they won’t keep you there. There is lovemaking, but the author leaves it to your imagination. I’ve read many romantic books and I’ve always enjoyed them. But, the women I know prefer erotic romantic books.

Romance novels of today

Erotic romantic: There is now erotic romance. These nooks have become more erotic and less romantic. At the core, there is a young, beautiful, naive woman and a rich, handsome, dynamic and powerful man. Erotic romantic books center on a relationship, but the author describes the lovemaking. It is definitely not subtle. Knowing how to please a woman, he is portrayed as the lover of your dreams. It’s a fantasy for many women to be swept away. Is it realistic … ? Every woman’s dream … right? There’s a very big market on erotic romantic novels.

Erotic: Erotic books center on a sexual experience with a powerful person. It describes everything in graphic detail. I guess society thirsts more for raw sexual books than romance. Some say reading erotic books could spice up your sex life.

THE AUTHOR: E.L. James

E.L. James is a wife and mother of two children living in West London – she was a TV executive. Her priority was her family and her career. Dreaming of writing popular stories, she finally had enough courage to write her first novel: Fifty Shades of Grey. Readers found it and loved it.

Antoinette: I have a question – why do many women authors use their initials instead of their first/middle (given) names? Do you have any thoughts?

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles:

Several are:

Fifty Shades of Grey
Fifty Shades Darker
Fifty Shades Freed

THE BOOK: Fifty Shades of Grey: #1 of the Fifty Shades Trilogy by E L James

Book Profile: “Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic novel by British author E. L. James. Set largely in Seattle, it is the first instalment in a trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism (BDSM).” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey)

Comments: I understand that many women could not put down the book – it even interfered with what they had to do. James used the phrase “holy crap” too much for my liking.

P.S. I recognize that many female readers will be excited by material on bondage/ discipline, dominance/submission, sadomasochism, I ask then, “Are we there yet?” Since they’re always pushing the envelope, I wonder what’s coming next?

CONCLUSION

Books have become more erotic than they once were. There is a booming market for erotic literature and these books are flooding the market.

Personal Comments

I say:

That women are bigger book buyers than men; and erotic literature is one of their favorites. Sales have soared because you can acquire them in privacy if you’re too shy to buy erotic books in a bookstore.
That most women want a satisfying sex life.
That women like to read erotic novels that are smoking hot.
That reading erotic books can help enhance a couple’s sex lives.

The Point

Regardless of your marital status, reading a good romantic novel brings you to another world … on cloud nine. It’s entertainment. A good romantic erotic novel tickles your fancy if you know what I mean. It’s pure fantasy. A good erotic novel, especially with sadomasochism drives you to a very special place. It gets your imagination to run wild – it’s quite over the top.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

Every reader (of romantic erotic novels) should:

Keep in mind that these books create a fantasy world.
Come back to earth after reading these novels.
Download these books on eReader if you’re too shy to go to a bookstore.

I say: “This book is for everyone.I guess girls just like to have fun; and they like the sexier shade of grey!”

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”

PREVIEW (now, tentatively Monday, September 24th 2012): Calling all flirts. We’ve got to talk! I’ll start first. As you know, flirting can be by body language (non- verbal) or with words (verbal). Non-verbal flirting is critical to catch his eye. But if you want to reel him in, verbal flirting is crucial (I think that you will agree with me that most men need a push). If you’re interested in finding Mr. Right, why not come by? I’ill be here. Maybe he will also.

P.S. Big News: Did you see my new Home Page … check it out! Please tell me what you think. There are more big changes coming to my blog – please stay tuned.

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PAGE 2

NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY SAVE AND READ* (S&R*) BACKGROUNDER: ANTOINETTE’S 1, 2, 3. & 4

ONE – “I SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT!*” – QUOTES

S & R* QUOTE #1: Rebecca West

“Life ought to be a struggle of desire toward adventures whose nobility will fertilize the soul.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/)

S & R* QUOTE #2:

Albert Einstein: “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)

S & R* QUOTE #3:

Pearl S. Buck: “The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)

TWO – “IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “Sadomasochism”; “erotic literature”; “romance novel”; etc.

Sadomasochism

Sadomasochism is the receiving of pleasure—often sexual—from acts involving the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation. A subset of BDSM, practitioners of sadomasochism usually seek out sexual gratification from these acts, but often seek out other forms of pleasure as well. While the terms sadist and masochist specifically refer to one who either enjoys giving pain (sadist), or one who enjoys receiving pain (masochist), many practitioners of sadomasochism describe themselves as at least somewhat of a switch, or someone who can receive pleasure from either inflicting or receiving pain. (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadomasochism

Erotic Literature

Erotic literature comprises fictional and factual stories and accounts of human sexual relationships which have the power to or are intended to arouse the reader sexually.^[1](Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_literature)

Romance Novel

The romance novel is a literary genre developed in Western culture, mainly in English-speaking countries. Novels in this genre place their primary focus on the relationship and romantic love between two people, and must have an “emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending.”^[1]

THREE – STUDY/STATISTICS:

The development of modern psychiatric theories of sadomasochism, and the co-opting of theoretical scientific classification into common usage of the term “Sadomasochism”, are complicated by the diversity of intent in application. The two words incorporated into this compound, “Sadism” and “Masochism”, were first selected as professional scientific terminology, identifying human behavioral phenomena and intended for the classification of distinct psychological illnesses and/or malicious social and sexual orientations. The terms were originally derived from the names of two authors, Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch respectively, based on their popular writings.

In 1905, Sigmund Freud described “Sadism” and “Masochism” in his Drei Abhandlungen zur Sexualtheorie (“Three papers on Sexual Theory”) as stemming from aberrant psychological development from early childhood.

Both terms were introduced to the medical field by German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing in his 1886 compilation of case studies Psychopathia Sexualis. Pain and physical violence are not essential in Krafft-Ebing’s conception, and he defined masochism (German “Masochismus”) entirely in terms of control.^[5] Sigmund Freud, a psychoanalyst and a contemporary of Krafft-Ebing, noted that both were often found in the same individuals, and combined the two into a single dichotomous entity known as sadomasochism (German “Sadomasochismus”, often abbreviated as S&M or S/M).

There are a number of reasons commonly given for why a sadomasochist finds the practice of S&M enjoyable, and the answer is largely dependent on the individual. For some, taking on a role of compliance or helplessness offers a form of therapeutic escape; from the stresses of life, from responsibility, or from guilt. For others, being under the power of a strong, controlling presence may evoke the feelings of safety and protection associated with childhood. They likewise may derive satisfaction from earning the approval of that figure (see: Servitude (BDSM)). A sadist, on the other hand, may enjoy the feeling of power and authority that comes from playing the dominant role, or receive pleasure vicariously through the suffering of the masochist.

It is usually agreed on by psychologists that experiences during early sexual development can have a profound effect on the character of sexuality later in life. Sadomasochistic desires, however, seem to form at a variety of ages. Some individuals report having had them before puberty, while others do not discover them until well into adulthood. According to one study, the majority of male sadomasochists (53%) developed their interest before the age of 15, while the majority of females (78%) developed their interest afterwards (Breslow, Evans, and Langley 1985).

Masochists tend to be very specific about the types of pain they enjoy, preferring some and disliking others. Many behaviors such as spanking, tickling and love-bites contain elements of sado-masochism. Even if both parties legally consent to such acts this may not be accepted as a defense against criminal charges. Very few jurisdictions will permit consent as a legitimate defense if serious bodily injuries are caused.

“Sadism” and “masochism”, in the context of consensual sexual activities are not strictly accurate terms. Strictly speaking, a sadist is someone who enjoys causing pain regardless of whether the “victim” consents to it. Likewise, a masochist is someone who fantasizes about or enjoys being beaten, sexually humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer in all situations. Within BDSM, a sadist will not inflict pain on people who have not consented. Most masochists do not enjoy pain outside BDSM.^{[citation needed]}(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadomasochism)

FOUR – BONUS ARTICLES

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#1: Home ownership tips for single women

“As women have become financially independent, homeownership is a viable option. Statistics show that Canadian women now outnumber men in buying a house or condo, according to Brenda Bouw, author of Home Girl: The Single Woman’s Guide to Buying Real Estate In Canada.

In going it alone, however, a variety of factors should be considered.

As a single woman, there are many things to assess besides your financial capabilities, says Carla Bouchard, a broker with Royal LePage Metro in Moncton, New Brunswick. To make the best choice for you, Bouchard recommends asking yourself these three important questions:

How much space do I need? Detached housing can be quite spacious, but it will require regular maintenance to hold its value. Condominiums, on the other hand, may offer less living space, but maintenance is likely to be less of a burden. It is also prudent to imagine your space requirements several years down the road. Answering these questions can help you narrow your search.

Where will I feel safe? Single women can benefit from the security offered by condominiums, many of which offer 24-hour concierge services and building access cards. Location is also something to consider. Do you depend upon public transit? Will you have far to travel to and from a transit stop? Put your safety first.

Can I keep up with repairs and maintenance? It is important to look beyond the cosmetic appeal of a home. You may want to consult a professional to identify areas of repair and consider the extent of ongoing maintenance. Are you ready to make an investment in a home that requires regular upkeep?

Be sure you are prepared, financially, location-wise, and for the maintenance required to protect your investment. Consider the big picture and chances are you’ll be right at home with your new abode. More information on this topic is available online at www.royallepage.ca.” www.newscanada.com

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#2: Just a little time out will press the reset button

“Somewhere between mopping up an overturned cereal bowl, cramming for that mid-afternoon presentation, grabbing a few groceries, making sure that stain doesn’t set, then figuring out what can be made for dinner in 15 minutes there are still a few ultra-valuable, untapped moments in a mother’s life.

Peaceful, though temporary, these are retreats that will refresh, recharge, even energize.

Mothers tell us it’s what keeps them on top of their game ready to handle whatever life throws their way. These moments may seem fleeting, but experts say a few breaks in the day can make the biggest difference to our productiveness and overall well-being.

The better food and beverage companies are also rising to this occasion. For example, the ‘me-time’ specialists, Melitta Canada has been working with moms for years to promote the benefits of taking time out.

Mothers across the country shared with us that when they are unable to get their personal downtime, even if only for a few minutes, they lose focus and essentially get run down, says Bill Ivany, president of Melitta Canada. In contrast, when they are able to take even 10 minutes for a cup of coffee, mothers are feeling more energized, more positive, and better able to take on their days.

The job of a mother doesn’t always allow for free time, but it may be worth squeezing in those extra moments of me time to improve the rest of your day.” www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on September 17th, 2012 Read More 1 Comment

BEYOND ONLINE, THERE IS ALSO A BLIND DATE: I consider the idea, success rate,tips, stories, etc.*(Cont’d)”

Vol. 3, No. 5, Monday, May 7^th2012

TITLE: “BEYOND ONLINE, THERE IS ALSO A BLIND DATE: I consider the idea, success rate,tips, stories, etc.* (Cont’d) ”

INTRODUCTION

This week, I will continue on with my romance theme and the blind date subject. But now, I will look at the ‘blind date’ -particularly the stories: …the good, the bad …and …..the ugly. My book of the week is The Blind Date Survival Guide: A Practical and Funny [Paperback] – Jeff Nagel (Author), Jessica Robison (Illustrator) (Editor’s Note: This is a continuation of the post from last week – part of a series on dating, relationships and marriage.)

PREVIEW: Next week, I will do my annual post on Mother’s’ Day with an update for this year. (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on holidays and special dates.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

Do I have any blind dating stories? I have some…several my own experiences…others from friends … and still others through research.

Very Good (VG): Here’s one far to the good. My mother was the matchmaker. She knew a man who lived in her building. He was older, looking to meet a lady in order to get married. She met this woman – her boyfriend was killed in a car accident. My mother invited them both over for coffee. They hit it off. They eventually married, had two children and were lived happily ever after. The added touch was that this gentleman bought my Mom an expensive dress to say, “Thank you”. Wasn’t that sweet?

Good: The story in the movie titled, “Sleepless in Seattle” is a fix-up story, with a twist: little boy goes looking for a girl for his Dad, finds her, brings them together and everyone lives happily ever after.

Not Good Enough: I had a fix-up. He called me every night for a week. We then went on our first date. He was really a good guy screwed on straight. He was a perfect gentleman… a really nice guy. But alas, the chemistry was not there. I had no interest. Afterwards, he called one night asking to go out again. I gracefully declined. He said that it will be an honor to stay friends and keep in touch with me. He never called back. My friends said that he was really broken up about this.

Bad #1: I remember one in particular. At first, he seemed polite and well-educated. But he showed himself to discriminate, being critical of other national origins. He was very rude, I was completely taken aback … I did not expect it. I recognized that he was an idiot… In a half hour, it was over and I walked away…good riddance!

Bad #2: Here’s another. A woman co-worker was trying to find a mate for her daughter. She went beyond matchmaking – she put an ad in a newspaper! We would hear her screening the potential dates. You see the phone number in the ad was not her daughter’s, but the mother`s at work. Apparently, she found a date for her daughter. As we heard later, the young man came to the door for her daughter and made a racial remark about her next door neighbor. He then took the daughter to McDonald’s and told her that she would have to pay her own way that evening. Needless to say, the date ended early. P.S. We were very entertained with this woman’s dating stories of her daughter.

Bad #3: He was rich and I was set up by a mutual acquaintance. He wanted to know what I did for a living” He said: “You are a real beauty.” He was full of himself. He was aggressive. He spoke of his family. Later, he drove to a lovers’ lane spot. He tried to kiss me. My body language said: “I don’t think so ” I also said: “I don’t know you …it’s the first date ” After this misstep, he then asked if he could see me again. I said: “No.”

Ugly: I was lucky…I personally did not experience anything real ugly. But I did some research. Here are a few that I found. There once was a girl who chewed with her mouth open. Her date saw much too much. Or did you hear of the guy who flirted with the waitress with his date beside him. And then there was the fellow who drank so much ….wait for it….that he had to call his mother in the middle of the meal to come pick him up from the restaurant. Indeed, there are some real horror stories out there.

THE AUTHOR: Jeff Nagel

Jeff Nagel is a New York business man. He is exploring the world of blind dates, searching the perfect date. He has credibility from impressive statistics: 137 blind dates in 16 states in the U.S. and overseas.

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles:

1989 – The Blind Date Survival Guide a Practical and Funny Guide to Meeting the Person of Your Dreams [Well, Practically Funny] (Paperback)

THE BOOK: The Blind Date Survival Guide: A Practical and Funny [Paperback] – Jeff Nagel (Author), Jessica Robison (Illustrator)

Nagel has some words of advice. He sees the blind dating as a process. He has techniques – he takes you step-by-step sharing with you many He answers the earth shaking questions: (a) “How to avoid the good night kiss.” (b) “Why meeting for dinner is the worst choice for a blind date?” (c) “Why you should never eat lobster on a blind date?” (d) “Why grandparents are the worst people to get names from?” (e) “Why health clubs are terrible places to meet people?” He also thinks that blind dates can be funny. It’s a book – it`s seems light, but I think that more information is always beneficial.

CONCLUSION

Sometime in our lives, most of us have had a date not to write home about. Most people can personally relate to these stories even the weird ones-

Personal Comments

I say:

The risk of a bad date is always there…but you never know if it will be the start of something beautiful. And you might even have a great time.
If you’re on a blind date and it’s not going well, end the evening as early as you can.
I agree with my Mom. She used to say: “A person has to eat a ton of salt with a man before you know what he’s all about.” The meaning is that it takes a life time to really know a person.

The Point

It’s correct to say that you cannot succeed unless you try. This applies to blind dating.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

A single should:

1. Say to family, friends and acquaintances: “Find me a match!” (Add: “I won’t be mad if it doesn’t work out.” This is important as most people need a push, not wanting any flack, prefering not to get involved.

2. Get as much information as you can about your blind date.

3. Go in with no expectations

4. Dress appropriately – first impressions are important

5. Go with a positive attitude.

6. Be yourself

7. Be honest

8. Be careful; to this end,

a. Drive yourself

b. Meet at a public place

c. Drink as little alcohol as possible

d. Keep your wits about you

e. Go with your instincts – if your date doesn’t look or act right, make an excuse and get out of there without delay.

9. Start the conversation on what you know about the person and go from there.

10. Try to get to know the person.

11. Listen to the person

12. Take it really SLOW if it gets romantic.

Tell me about the date of your lifetime that ended with marriage…or, tell me about the unsuccessful date that became one of your funny stories of lifetime experiences. Either way, I want to hear about it.

ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos: Hello!!
“Lucky lads who dated Rebecca Romijn-Stamos in high-school were often bemused by her father’s efforts to put them at ease. “When they used to pick me up,” she once “ (Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=238)

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: 20 / 20 Vision?
“At a state banquet one day, Mrs. Sargent Shriver, the wife of the US ambassador to France, found herself seated beside French president Charles de Gaulle.

Such was her affection for the man that, as the meal drew to a close, she remarked, “Mr. President, I only regret that you’re not twenty years younger and that I’m not twenty years younger.”

Some time later, Mrs. Shriver casually repeated the remark to Mme de Gaulle. “Ah, yes, Mrs. Shriver,” (Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=677)

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Frankly Brilliant
“After the death of his wife in the early 1770s, Benjamin Franklin considered marrying the attractive widow of the famous philosopher Helvetius.

One day, after a long period during which his other commitments had prevented him from seeing her, she chided him for not having visited sooner. “Madam,” Franklin wisely replied, “I am waiting until the nights are longer.” (Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=11036)

S & R* QUOTE #1: Dr. Seuss

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/)

S & R* QUOTE #2: Katharine Hepburn

“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index15.html)

S & R* QUOTE #3: – Lily Tomlin

“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index18.html)

ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “dating”;

Dating

“Dating, a form of courtship which may include any social activity undertaken by, typically, two persons with the aim of assessing each other’s suitability as a partner.” (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating)

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS

SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: How to grow together after the wedding by Melissa Wallace

“Planning a wedding was tough enough with differing opinions, an endless to-do list, and playing peacemaker with various family members. Now that the big day is over and you and your sweetie can finally catch your breath, you may be wondering how to make the most of the months ahead to get your marriage off to a great start.

Date night. Romanticism can get thrown out the window when you’re suddenly dealing with double the load of laundry and dirty dishes. Go on a date with your spouse at least once a week to regroup and keep that fire going.

Share a hobby. You and your spouse may already have a sport or activity you both enjoy, but if you don’t, consider looking into your community centre listings and try something new. You may discover a new love for dance, ultimate Frisbee, or wine tasting.

Appreciate each other. Say thank you often and avoid brewing resentment. Just make sure you mean it. Your spouse knows when you’re being genuine and when you’re being fake. Note: apply the same to the words, I’m sorry.

Go out with friends. Don’t forget about all the people who kept you sane the weeks before your wedding and took on your stress to give you your perfect day. Your friends will be ecstatic to see a calmer version of their friend again.

Give of yourselves. Love is a wonderful thing and it should be shared with those who don’t often feel it. Consider donating your time to volunteer at a soup kitchen or share your talents at a seniors home. Or sponsor a child through an international development organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada. Through sponsorship, you and your spouse can write letters to a child living in poverty to show that you care.”www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Want your partner to pop the question? Fix your finances first

“There’s no denying it: wedding season is in full bloom. But if you want your own happily ever after in the near future, you may want to check your personal finances first. According to a recent poll from TD Canada Trust, 77% of Canadians say they would not marry someone who was bad at managing their personal finances or if they held excessive debt.

TD Canada Trust offers advice to Canadians in relationships who are ready to take the next step:

Honesty is the best policy: Being open and honest is an important part of establishing a healthy financial foundation. If you’re saving for a down payment on a home but your partner is thinking about their next spending spree, you might be headed for some challenges. Although it can be difficult to open up about your finances, doing so can prevent big headaches down the road.

Create a plan, together: Once you’ve discussed what both parties bring to the table financially, make a plan of action, together. There can be benefits to pooling your assets, like helping each other service existing debts or lowering your household’s overall tax burden. Speak with a financial advisor who can help you create a tailored plan that works for both of you.

Retain some financial independence: While it can be worthwhile to combine finances, it is important to have individual financial goals outside of those you have as a couple. For instance, having a credit card and bills in your own name that you pay back in full and on time will help build your personal credit rating. Similarly, saving regularly through contributions from your paycheque into a Tax Free Savings Account (TFSA) or your RRSP will help you build a healthy nest egg for your future together.” www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on May 7th, 2012 Read More 1 Comment

“BEYOND ONLINE, THERE IS ALSO A BLIND DATE: I CONSIDER THE IDEA, SUCCESS RATE, TIPS, STORIES, ETC.*”

Vol. 3, No. 4, Monday, April 30^th 2012

TITLE: “BEYOND ONLINE, THERE IS ALSO A BLIND DATE: I consider the idea, success rate,tips, stories, etc.*”

INTRODUCTION

This week, I will continue on with my romance theme … looking at the ‘fix-up’. The usual reaction to this phrase is to turn your nose up in the air as if you are smelling rotten eggs and to utter the exclamation, “Uggghh”. However, this is what everyone really wants, but no one will admit it. I say: “Let’s take the blind date out of the shadows!” My book of the week is “The Blind Date Guide to Dating” [Paperback] by Frank Thompson (Author). (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on dating, relationships and marriage.)

PREVIEW: Next week, I will continue on with my romance theme, then further looking at the ‘blind date’ -the stories: …the good, the bad and …..the ugly. (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on dating, relationships and marriage.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

I have personally experienced the ‘blind date’.

I was a” blind dater” during my single days. I was always very appreciative. My friends set me up on blind dates several times. Knowing both people, they thought there was a possibility of a connection and perhaps even a relationship set-to-happen. On the other hand, if the date doesn’t work out, so be it … there was no obligation to continue.

I have also been a “fixer-upper” – I have played matchmaker. A number of years ago, I arranged for a young lady in my office and a young man, who worked for the same institution, to meet. I was asked to accompany them for lunch. I noticed sparks between them. She confessed to me that she was interested, but he never followed up. She eventually found another job and left. I ran into him one day and I asked him why he didn’t call the young lady. His answer was that he was interested, but he didn’t know why he didn’t call her. He explained that it was the story of his life. How sad! He had missed a change of possibly being with someone, with whom, he might have had a relationship. His insecurities got in the way.

I also recall that my mother arranged a blind date for a friend. The couple married and the marriage was successful.

Do I approve of arranging or accepting an offer for a blind date? I definitely do. I encourage my daughter to accept when the opportunity arises. You never know.

THE AUTHOR: Frank Thompson

Frank Thompson is an author – 30 books to his credit; he is also a filmmaker and a film historian. He lives in North Hollywood, California. More to the point, Thompson has been a writer for the real-life TV show called “Blind Date”.

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books/Articles:

Some of his books are:

Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas: The Film-The Art-The Vision

THE BOOK: The Blind Date Guide toDating [Paperback] by Frank Thompson

This LITTLE book is a byproduct of the program. It is part HOW-TO and part joke book. It could help daters lighten up and possibly provide ideas for a clever witticism to roll out on the date-to-come. Read it – you might learn something and have a laugh or two.

CONCLUSION

Opinions are divided when it comes to blind dates. Many say that they want it. Others emphatically say, NO! But everyone has thought about it. If single, so should you.

Personal Comments

I say:

This is the part of matchmaking … the oldest set up way – today it is called the blind date.
The goal of the matchmaker, most times female, is to help two eligible singles to meet and ultimately make a perfect couple.
Often times, the person arranging the blind date knows the two people and thinks that there could be a match. But there is a risk of being blamed if the date goes wrong.
If the two people have nothing in common, chances are it won’t work. But then again, it’s a question of chemistry.
For the daters, a blind date is an adventure. It’s a no brainer. There is an element of surprise to it. First, getting to know a stranger could be exciting. In addition, keep in mind, that on this date, there is a possibility of meeting new people, one leading to the person of your dreams.
Yes, it’s taking a chance.

o There is a risk that it could be a long, boring evening, but, on the other side of the coin, it could be a very pleasant evening.

o Remember, if the blind date doesn’t work, there is no commitment to continue.

o The opportunity far outweighs the inconvenience of a disaster night. A blind date could be a dud; but on the other hand, it could be the start of something very good.

o A blind date could be a life changer.

No longer single, I wholeheartedly encourage you

The Point

If single, consider a blind date.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

A single should:

2. Get as much information as you can about your blind date.

3. Go in with no expectations

4. Dress appropriately – first impressions are important

5. Go with a positive attitude

6. Be yourself

7. Be honest

8. Be careful; to this end,

a. Drive yourself

b. Meet at a public place

c. Drink as little alcohol as possible

d. Keep your wits about you

e. Go with your instincts – if your date doesn’t look or act right, make an excuse and get out of there without delay.

9. Start the conversation off with what you know about the person and go from there.

10. Try to get to know the person.

11. Listen to the person

12. Take it really SLOW if it gets romantic.

Tell me about the date of your lifetime that ended with marriage … or, tell me about the unsuccessful date that became one of your funny stories of lifetime experiences. Either way, I want to hear about it.

ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Wendy Liebman – Blind Dates
“Wendy Liebman was often set up by her friends on blind dates, with mixed results. “I’ve been on so many blind dates,” she once exclaimed, “I should get a free dog!”

(Source: Anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=2046)

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos: Hello!!

“Lucky lads who dated Rebecca Romijn-Stamos in high-school were often bemused by her father’s efforts to put them at ease. “When they used to pick me up,” she once recalled, “Dad would open the front door… completely naked.” (Source: Anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=238)

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Going Deaf
“One day in April 2003, Jay Leno learned that Bill Clinton was said to be going deaf. “I thought he was going blind,” Leno remarked. “Have you seen the women he was dating!?” (Source: Anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=11928)

S & R* QUOTE #1: Washington Irving

“Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index10.html)

S & R* QUOTE #2: Jimi Hendrix

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index12.html)

S & R* QUOTE #3: Mary Parrish

“Love vanquishes time. To lovers, a moment can be eternity, eternity can be the tick of a clock.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index12.html)

ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “blind dates”; “dating”; “”

Blind date

“A “blind date” is a date between two people who have not previously met.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia)- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_date)

Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.” (Source: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia)- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating)

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:

“Friends remain an excellent way for people to meet people, according to sociologist Edward Laumann of the University of Chicago, who wrote that “A real person––whatever his relationship to you, be it friend or kinsman or co-worker––is still far and away the most reliable kind of way to meet someone.”^[142] However, the Internet promises to overtake friends in the future, if present trends continue, according to an article in USA Today.^[47]^[142] A friend can introduce two people who don’t know each other, and the friend may play matchmaker and send them on a blind date. In The Guardian, British writer Hannah Pool was cynical about being set up on a blind date; she was told “basically he’s you but in a male form” by the mutual friend.^[143] She googled her blind date’s name along with the words “wife” and “girlfriend” and “partner” and “boyfriend” to see whether her prospective date was in any kind of relationship or gay; he wasn’t any of these things.^[143] She met him for coffee in London and she now lives with him, sharing a home and business.^[143] When friends introduce two people who don’t know each other, it’s often called a blind date.

People can meet other people on their own or the get-together can be arranged by someone else. Matchmaking is an art based entirely on hunches, since it is impossible to predict with certainty whether two people will like each other or not. One matchmaker advised it was good to match “brains as well as beauty” and try to find people with similar religious and political viewpoints and thinks that like-minded people result in more matches, although acknowledging that opposites sometimes attract.^[141] “ (Source: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia)- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating)

SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: How to grow together after the wedding By Melissa Wallace

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: How to find your one and only By Maja Begovic

“We all want to find the person we are meant to be with. That special someone we are totally enamored by, connected to, and head-over-heels in love with. Just in time for a fresh start this Valentine’s Day, here are some pearls of wisdom that may eventually help bring you and your beloved together:

Believe in your soul mate and be patient

Fate doesn’t work on a schedule. Your soul mate might cross your path when you’re eight or 80 years old. If you can believe in love even when life doesn’t seem to be taking you in that direction you’re already halfway there.

Make yourself a better person

Next, begin the process of self-improvement. Be the type of person people fall in love with. If you think you need a better job or education, go back to school. If you want to improve your health, go to the gym and get in shape. If you want to expand your horizons, then begin to volunteer or get involved with a non-profit organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada (www.ccfcanada.ca) and see how improving the lives of people living in poverty can help bring new perspective into your own life.

Don’t hate being single

Honour the state of not yet having a mate. Enjoy your life, go out with friends, and pursue paths of self-improvement. Spend time fine-tuning skills, nurturing interests, and having adventures. Study, take courses, and do things that help you grow personally, spiritually, and professionally. Live fully and stay open. Love may not be far behind.

How will I know when I do find my soul mate?

Your soul mate will be a person you will feel a very strong and passionate connection with, as well as an old connection. In other words, you will feel as if you have known the person for a long time, even though you may have just met him or her recently. Even in moments of doubt and fear, open your arms to love. Know that every step you take in the direction of love will bring your true love closer to you.” www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on April 30th, 2012 Read More 6 Comments

BEYOND ONLINE – THERE IS SPEED DATING: I consider the questions, rules, game, success rate, tips!*

Vol. 3 , No. 3, Monday, April 23^rd, 2012

TITLE: “BEYOND ONLINE – THERE IS SPEED DATING: I consider the questions, rules, game, success rate, tips!*”

INTRODUCTION

With spring in your step and romance in the air, I will talk about speed dating. Can you find love at a speed dating event? Apparently, some people do. My book of the week is “Surviving Internet and Speed Dating [Paperback] by Joanne Schoenwald (Author) My topic is then dating of the speedy kind. I was thinking maybe some of you out there in Internetland are wondering what this is all about. If with an inquiring mind, stay put and I will give you a fast one …two. (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on dating, relationships and marriage.)

PREVIEW (April 29-30, 2012):

Next week, I will continue on with my romance theme, then turning my attention to the fix-up. The usual reaction to this phrase is to turn your nose up in the air as if you are smelling rotten eggs and to utter the exclamation, “Uggghh”. However, this is what everyone really wants, but no one will admit it. I say: “Let’s take the blind date out of the shadows!” (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on dating, relationships and marriage.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

Although I was not against speed dating, I never went to an event. My friends had participated on numerous occasions, but none found possible suitors. On the contrary, they complained that the men who they met there were insincere and just wanted a good time. But I have done some research.

THE AUTHOR: Joanne Schoenwald

Joanne Schoenwald has worn many hats: teacher, massage therapist, office administrator, editor. Now, she works as a holistic practitioner and workshop facilitator. Schoenwald writes fiction and non-fiction books. She has a passion for nature animals, funny movies, good books and strawberry daiquiris. She lives with her husband in Blackbutt, south-east Queensland, Australia. She is the founder and President of Charlie’s Angels Horse Rescue Inc.

SERIES/COLLECTION

Some of Joanne’s more notable achievements and publications:

Our Miracle Foal, published in the Spring 2011 issue of Equine News.
Top 10 finalist for the 2011 Finch Memoir Prize for the manuscript, Webs of Light, an account of Joanne’s 16 years spent with her horse and the way he changed her life.
Self-published Woodford Virgins, novel, on Lulu.com, 2011.
Horses as Lawnmowers, June 2010, featured in The Horse Report.
Shortlisted for the Text Publishing Prize for Young Adult and Children’s writing for her manuscript Wildfire 2009
The Power of the Positive (Writing Queensland, February 2009).
Winner 2007 One Book Many Brisbanes short story award for Not in Mitchelton
Australia’s Invaders 1 and 2 (high school resource books, Knowledge Books and Software, 2007)
Elephant’s Way (feature article, Australia’s Nova magazine, May 2008)
Daisy Philosophy 101: Canine Advice for Living Each Moment (feature article, Spheres magazine, May 2008)
My Life as a Technical Writer (feature article, Writing Queensland, October 2007)
Baby Love (feature article on aromatherapy, Affair magazine, September 2007)
Unleashed (anthology containing my winning short story, Empty, Redbubble 2007)
In the Moment (anthology containing my winning poem, Summer Afternoon Walk, Redbubble, 2008)
Eight book reviews (“Between the Covers”) for The Westerner newspaper, 2007
Sing the Rain (short story, Coppertales, USQ journal of rural arts, 2001 as ‘Joanne Hunter’)
Darkness Leering (short story, dotlit, QUT online journal, 2001 as ‘Joanne Jackson’)
Shortlisted for State Library of Queensland’s Young Writers Award for Carriage Hopping, 2001
Shortlisted for the Tourism Queensland Cultural Tourism Award for Young Australian Writers for A Spirit of Fire, 2000

Books/Articles:

· Surviving Internet and Speed Dating by Joanne Schoenwald (Paperback – Jan 1 2008)

THE BOOK: Surviving Internet and Speed Dating by Joanne Schoenwald

Internet is one means to find your soul mate. Speed dating is another. This author gives you a dose of reality plus hints and tips simply said. Go for it!

THE FACTS

What is it? It is a singles’ event held in restaurant or hall, where tables are set up as stations, with one woman seated at each table and men circulate from table-to-table staying 3-10+- minutes with each woman.

Who are the attendees? Speed dating is very popular with young people.

What are the benefits? Several are:

There is no guessing game with speed dating. People are there looking for romance, probably to select a mate.
If your goal is to meet a number of potential suitors in a short time span, this is the way! It is a quick solution to dating … short and sweet with each candidate.
The “date” is short and brief. This could be a blessing if you find the person dull and boring.

What is the cost? Usually a bit pricy but really depending on whether there is a hall, meal, etc.

CONCLUSION

In this fast-paced world, speed dating is another way to find your future one and only.

Personal Comments

I say:

It is a priority for many to search for someone special. It can get lonely. I know … been there … done that.
If you’re always on the run and don’t have time to mingle and socialize, speed dating is a good way to go.
Does speed dating work? There is a possibility that it could work, but then again, it could also fail.
Some feel that attendees are desperate and lacking. I do not agree.
For those who go to speed dating events, both men and women, their first requisites for a mate is physical attraction.
Next, it is what they say and how they carry themselves.
Considering that a person makes a decision in the first 30 seconds, a mere 3-8 minutes could be very stressful.

The Point

The more events that you attend, regardless the kind, the better the chances of meeting the match you’re looking for.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

Everyone should:

Be open-minded
Be realistic

Advance Preparations

3. Prepare some intellect questions before going to a speed dating event. Don’t appear tongue-tied, nervous or quiet. This could be an instant turn-off.

4. Dress appropriately

At the event

5. Be confident

6. Be positive

7. Show a sense of humor

8. Smile

9. Be on the ball every second to make a good impression.

10. Go with your gut feeling

If you’re not interested in a date, how about a fig? Seriously though, even if you don’t find him or her there that night, you might find out something about yourself … you might even enjoy an evening out and have some laughs. What are you waiting for?

ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Bachelor Blooper

“On the way to a star-studded function in Los Angeles one day, Drew Carey found himself in a limousine with several other celebrities, among them Jim Belushi, who asked him about his show’s move to a Monday night time slot (after NFL football). Carey explained that the hit reality dating show “The Bachelor” had assumed his old Wednesday night slot. Then he went off on a rant: “Can you believe this guy?” Carey fumed. “25 women to choose from – some of them educated – and he chooses the two blondes with the biggest tits! One he slept with¹, one he didn’t.. and of course, he picked the one who slept with² him…”

At last a man sitting beside him interjected: “Actually, that’s not how it happened at all.” Carey, never one to back down from an argument, disagreed – until the man’s identity became embarrassingly apparent. It was the bachelor!”(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=6217)

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Double Date
“Burgess Meredith once found himself on a regrettable date with the actress Dorris Bowdon. Though the evening (actually a double date with Mary Healy and Franchot Tone) was pleasant enough, Bowdon spent the entire time singing the praises of the witty screenwriter Nunnally Johnson, whom she had met (and incessantly flirted with) during the shooting of The Grapes of Wrath (1940). At last Burgess took her home. Instead of kissing her, however, he simply offered a word of advice: “Get thee to a Nunnally!”

(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=14402)

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Date with Destiny?
“On April 11, 1917, Soviet leader Vladimir Ilyich Lenin called the U.S. consul in Switzerland and spoke with Allen Dulles (then a junior diplomat). Russia, Lenin explained, was contemplating withdrawing from World War I and signing a treaty with the Germans.

Dulles, who had a big date that evening, asked Lenin to call back in the morning, when the office officially re-opened. Incredibly, Lenin’s message was never delivered to Washington…(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=5377)

S & R* QUOTE #1: – Franklin P. Jones

“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/)

S & R* QUOTE #2: Peace Pilgrim

“Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/)

S & R* QUOTE #3: Sam Keen

“Love isn’t finding a perfect person. It’s seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/)

ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “speed dating”; “matchmaking”; “arranged marriage”

Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process or dating system whose purpose is to encourage people to meet a large number of new people.

Matchmaking is the process of matching two people together, usually for the purpose of marriage, but the word is also used in the context of sporting events, such as boxing, and in business.

An arranged marriage is a practice in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of the persons to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship.

(Source: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia)- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriage)

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:

“Its origins are credited to Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish HaTorah, originally as a way to help Jewish singles meet and marry.^[1][2][3] “SpeedDating”, as a single word, is a registered trademark of Aish HaTorah. “Speed dating”, as two separate words, is often used as a generic term for similar events.

The first speed-dating event took place at Peet’s Café in Beverly Hills in late 1998.^[1]

Men and women are rotated to meet each other over a series of short “dates”, usually lasting from 3 to 8 minutes depending on the organization running the event. At the end of each interval, the organizer rings a bell, clinks a glass, or blows a whistle to signal the participants to move on to the next date. At the end of the event participants submit to the organizers a list of who they would like to provide their contact information to. If there is a match, contact information is forwarded to both parties. Contact information cannot be traded during the initial meeting, in order to reduce pressure to accept or reject a suitor to his or her face.

Unlike many bars, a speed dating event will, by necessity, be quiet enough for people to talk comfortably. Speed dating is for singles.

There are many speed dating events now in the United Kingdom, Canada, and the United States.

A 2006 study in Edinburgh, Scotland showed that 45% of the women participants in a speed-dating event and 22% of the men had come to a decision within the first 30 seconds. It also found that dialogue concerning travel resulted in more matches than dialogue about films.^[8]

A 2006 study at the University of Essex and the IZA in Bonn ^[13] into the relative effects of preference versus opportunity in mate selection showed, while concluding that opportunity was more important than preference, that a woman’s age is the single most important factor determining demand by men. Although less important than it is to men, age is still a highly significant factor determining demand by women.

The same study found that a man’s height had a significant impact upon his desirability, with a reduction in height causing a decrease in desirability at the rate of 5% per inch.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia)- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_dating)

SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: 5 Smart ways to improve your relationship by Maja Begovic

“Whether you’re dating or have been happily married for years, here are five simple ways to make your relationship even better, no matter where you are in your romantic journey.

Recognize what’s important to your partner. Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. On the flip side, it’s also important for your partner to recognize your wants and for you to state them clearly. Constantly giving to others at the expense of your own needs builds resentment and anger.

Keeping outside relationships and interests alive. No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too.

Change it up. Act out of character you can easily get into ruts. If you find that you are repeating patterns, step back and break it up. Be somewhat still unknown to each other. We are hardwired as humans to like mystery and be intrigued by it. There is an excitement that comes from anticipating and not knowing.

Find something you enjoy doing together. It can be a shared hobby, a dance class, a daily walk or volunteering. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life. Get involved with a local organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada (www.ccfcanada.ca) and help improve the lives of children and families living in poverty around the world.

Connect as a couple and rekindle love. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together. Commit to spending quality time together on a regular basis. Even during very busy and stressful times, a few minutes of sharing and connecting can help keep bonds strong.

Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you get back.” www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Romance report confirms we’re never too old for love

“Seniors are setting the record straight: love and romance aren’t just for the young. In fact, seven in 10 seniors over the age of 75 say they’re never too old for love.

This is one of the key findings of the Revera Report on Romance, which surveyed older adults aged 75+, Boomers and Gen Yers, to find out about their expectations and experiences with social interaction as they age including love, romance and companionship.

The Report found:

Only 38 per cent of Boomers and Gen Yers believe love and romance will still be very important when they are over 75, compared to 88 per cent of seniors who say companionship is something they couldn’t do without.

Just as many seniors have romantic partners as 18 to 30 year olds (approximately 50 per cent for each group).

Senior men place higher importance on love and romance, with 83 per cent saying it’s important, compared to just 56 per cent of senior women.

Seniors’ positive outlook on love and romance is encouraging to see because they are both important aspects of social interaction, says Dr. Amy D’Aprix, gerontologist and an expert on aging. What many people don’t know is that remaining socially active can have a significant impact on your physical health, such as reducing your risk of developing dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. It’s also been shown to have a comparable impact on mortality as smoking and alcohol, and of course, there’s no question that it also contributes to happiness and emotional health.

Seniors themselves recognize that social interaction and having meaningful relationships can make all the difference when it comes aging. In fact, 98 per cent of seniors believe that keeping socially active is just as important to successful aging as good physical health.

A number of seniors share their stories and thoughts about love at www.reveraliving.com.” www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on April 23rd, 2012 Read More 26 Comments

FIND MR. / MS RIGHT: I have the secret, tips..HOW -TO!*

Vol. 2, No. 39, Monday, February 20th 2012
TITLE: “FIND MR./MS RIGHT: I have the secret, tips..HOW-TO!*”

INTRODUCTION
If looking for Mr./Ms Right, I have an opinion.  Is he or she a Fantasy or Reality?
Hence, my topic is true love and finding it. My book of the week is: “Looking for Mr. or Ms Right” [Paperback] by Roselaine Joseph (Author).  (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)
P.S. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say… you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment?  I’ll try not to interrupt.

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 26th 2012): Whew, Valentine’s Day has come and passed. Now, I’m thinking about the other loves in my life … my grandkids. The topic is disciplining children. One question that I ask is: “Do we spank or not?” I encourage you to come by. I won’t be cross if you disagree. I promise not to send you to sit in the corner! (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on family, child rearing, education, etc.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

Before I met my Mr. Right, my goal was to meet the right person. I attended many single events in the hope of meeting him. One of the events that I attended was a play and dinner at a restaurant. The play was about a man who was looking for a perfect woman with whom he could share his life. He wrote down 10 qualities, which he wanted in this woman. During his search, he confides in a friend. The first woman arrived at the door. She had all 10 of the requested qualities; but he then discovered that there was one quality that he found problematic. Thus, he altered his list to make that particular quality suit him. She left and soon another woman arrived at the door. The new woman was not working out either. This went on woman after woman. At the end of the play, he tells his friend that he has come to a new conclusion. There is no perfect match!

The question is: “Who is my Mr. Right?” I say that I found him – he is Mr. Right for me and that’s what’s important.

THE AUTHOR: Roselaine Joseph

Raised in Florida, Roselaine Joseph is interested in the right relationships between men and women. Divorced, she knows that mistakes happen – she has lived them. She knows that the divorce rate is high. She believes that life is made happier by a relationship. So do I. She passionately believes in writing to uplift and bring laughter, but she also wants people to learn something that they can use in betterment of their daily lives. I like that.

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles:
Several are:
• Looking for Mr or Mrs Right – Paperback – March 2008 (published through AuthorHouse)
• Nightmare – Paperback – January 2009
• Nightmare – Paperback – January 2008

THE BOOK: “Looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right” by Roselaine Joseph (Author)
Roselaine Joseph is a romantic exploring the meaning of love. She thinks that communication and honesty are way up on the ‘must-do’ list. (I say that partners should be on the same page, both literally and figuratively, pushing or pulling in the same direction.) She says that bad decisions and mistakes can be avoided. She uses shared experiences to illustrate her thinking. Men and women, single or in a relationship will find something useful here.

CONCLUSION
The controversial question is “Looking for Mr./Ms Right – is he or she a fantasy or a reality?” In any event, the right person is hard to find.

Personal Comments
Here are some thoughts that I have:

We all want to live happily ever after.

Mr./Ms Right is on the mind of most people. It’s what we all aim for. While you want what you want, remember, that you need to be Mr./Ms Right to the other person. I ask you to ask yourself: “Am I?”
There is no such thing as “Love at First Sight”.
Chances are the person who you have in mind is not your perfect match. Your soulmate will probably not be what you’re expecting.
Accept him/her for whom he/she is; don’t try to change him/her.
You need a loving partner who, by his/her presence will improve you; and will love you unconditionally. But that also means, in turn, that by your presence, you will improve him/her, and that you must love him/ her unconditionally. Indeed, it takes two to tango
It’s a two way street. I say: Give to the right person and you’ll receive!

The Point

Each of us has a certain person in mind, with whom he or she would like to spend the rest of the life given us.

This special person is not the same for everyone. Mr. Right for you might not be Mr. Right for me.

As long as he or she has most of the qualities, that you’re looking for in a person, you should consider yourself fortunate.

He or she must have compatible values. But chemistry between two people is also very important.

If you’re expecting to feel butterflies in your stomach every moment that you look at your mate, you’re not being realistic.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

Everyone should:
1. Recognize that women and men are different – “Vive la difference!”
2. Make yourself visible and get out there.
3. Be natural and confident on your search for Mr./Ms Right.; in this regard,

3.1 Keep an open-mind when meeting someone.

3.2 Don’t shut the person down at first glance.
3.3 Give the person a chance – you might be pleasantly surprised.
3.4 Try to get to know what he or she is about.

3.5 Pay attention to body language when meeting someone new;

4. Do not count on love at first sight – awareness of a soulmate might not be immediate.
5. Know that your soulmate will probably be someone who is not what you originally expected.

I found the secret to true love. My Mr. Right, with a big smile on his face, tells me often that he is nearly perfect. I smile back not saying much. He knows that I know that he is not perfect. But, I, on the other hand, know that I am a perfect 10. (Strictly between you and me ,… I’m just kidding). I think that he knows that’s true. With this understood, we get along very well…*

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: True Love
“On the morning after Jack Benny’s death, his widow, Mary, received a single long-stemmed rose from the local florist. When another rose was delivered the next day, Mary called the florist and was told her of an order her husband had placed before he died: He had made provision in his will for the florist to supply “one perfect red rose daily for the rest of Mary’s life.”
(Source: Anecdotege) -http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=684

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Automotive Genius
“A real-life Gatsby, Walter Chrysler had got rich enough fast enough to marry his beautiful Daisy, only to realize that the true love of his life was his car. As a young husband and fgather, he blew the family savings and went deep into debt to buy a brand-new Locomobile, whose ivory body he recalled for decades as his ‘siren’s song.’ “He didn’t long so much to drive it though – he waited three months for that – as to dissect it, working in his garage over every valve and knob until he could have built the vehicle from scratch. ‘Had I been Aladdin,’ he wrote, ‘I’d have taken that old lamp apart to see if I could make another, better lamp.'”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=15510
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Good One
“In 1997, Robert Downey Jr had his probation revoked (after yet another drug-fueled binge) and was sentenced to serve six months in a Los Angeles County jail. One day, he was surprised to have convicted celebrity wife-beater Tommy Lee join him in his cell. “Hey man,” Downey said by way of introduction, “it’s good to see you!” [Lee was a little less enthused: “This isn’t really where I want to say hi,” he remarked… Among Downey’s other memorable moments? Muttering about being patient and finding love while scrubbing toilets with another prisoner, and, more dangerously, wearing a yellow flower stuck behind his ear.]”
(Source: Anecdoatge) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=11342

S & R* QUOTE #1: Paul Newman
“I don’t like to discuss my marriage, but I will tell you something which may sound corny but which happens to be true. I have steak at home. Why should I go out for hamburger?”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

S & R* QUOTE #2: Richard Bach
“True love stories never have endings.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

S & R* QUOTE #3:Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama
“The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “falling in love”; “love”; “soulmate”
Fall in Love
“In romantic relationships, “falling in love” is mainly a Western term used to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards a person to one of love. The use of the term “fall” implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky, irreversible, or that it puts the lover in a state of vulnerability, in the same way the word “fall” is used in the phrase “to fall ill” or “to fall into a trap”. The term is generally used to describe an (eventual) love that is strong, although not necessarily permanent.”
Love
“Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.[1] Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and “the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”.[2]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love)
Soulmate
“A soulmate (or soul mate) is believed by some to be the person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, sex, intimacy,
sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate)

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“According to Theosophy, whose claims were modified by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls—equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or “separation from God.” Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.[2][3]
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate)
Age at First Marriage
Since the 1950s, the median age at first marriage has risen for both men and women, increasing from 23 for men and 20 for women in 1950, to 28 for men and 26 for women in 2009.9 Table 3 shows the percentages of men and women who were ever married, ever divorced, or married two or more times by selected ages. Data are shown for 5-year birth cohorts, from 1940 to 1944 through 1980 to 1984. Reflecting the rise in the median age at first marriage, the percentages of men and women born in 1980 to 1984 who were married by age 20 (7 percent and 16 percent, respectively) were about one thrd the percentages of those born in 1940 to 1944 (22 percent and 48 percent, respectively).An examination of the trends in the proportions of people ever divorced is more complicated because this indicator is a function of the proportions of both people getting married and those getting divorced. Data from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) indicate that the annual divorce rate for married women increased sharply from 15 to 20 divorces per 1,000 between 1970 and 1975, a period when divorce laws were changing. However, subsequent estimates indicate that the divorce rate per 1,000 married women leveled off at about 20 per 1,000 women in the mid-1970s and stayed at about that level through the mid-1990s. Most of us take only one trip down the aisle. Among all currently married couples in 2009, 72 percent were made up of a man and woman who were each in their first marriage. Looking only at recently married couples, which gives us an idea of current patterns, 65 percent of couples who married during 2008 were in their first marriage.At the other end of the spectrum, a small percentage, just 1 percent, of currently married couples consisted of a husband and wife who had both been married three or more times. Another 6 percent of currently married couples included one spouse who was in at least their third marriage. Between these extremes, 22 percent of currently married couples included at least one spouse who was in their second marriage.Couples who got married during 2008 looked similar, with 25 percent including at least one spouse who was in their second marriage and a slightly higher 9 percent including one spouse in their third or higher order marriage.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/p70-125.pdf)

SCHEDULE III

S & R* NEWS ALERT*: Respect and kindness will bring you lasting love

“(NC)—The majority of seniors over the age of 75 say love and romance remains an important aspect of their lives. That’s just one of the key findings from the Revera Report on Romance.

Mendel and Valerie, residents at Revera’s Pine Villa Retirement Residence, couldn’t agree more and want to share their advice for a lasting relationship.

Mendel and Valerie met at a dance in Ottawa shortly after World War Two. Now married 60 years, the couple say they get along so well that they rarely have any disagreements. Their advice for a lasting relationship is to always try to be respectful and kind to each other, regardless of the situation. After six decades of marriage, three children and eight grandchildren, Mendel still counts his blessings. “Valerie’s love and compassion,” he says, “makes me the luckiest man in the world.”

More stories of love and romance from today’s seniors – as well as the full romance report—are available online at www.reveraliving.com.”

www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT*: Baby boomers: Love the second time around

“(NC)— Family portraits have changed in recent year as couples merge their lives through second marriages. Half of all divorced Canadians have remarried reports Statistics Canada. An additional 22 per cent of divorced men and women intend to remarry. “A second marriage can be a beautiful occasion, but it comes with certain challenges of combining finances and families,” said Elaine Wilson, vice president of Fiduciary Trust Company of Canada. “Ensure you discuss the details of merging your lives before you say ‘I do’ again.”

A few things you should consider before remarriage are:

Financial planning: Meet with your investment advisor to go over your financial situation. There may be changes that you need to make with spousal RRSPs and your investments. Consider the possibility of a prenuptial agreement prior to marriage to protect your individual finances.

Estate planning: As with a first marriage, remarriage invalidates your existing will unless it has been specifically prepared in consideration of this wedding. With an estate planning professional, prepare a new will to reflect the change in marital status and revised estate plan. You may want to consider creating a trust to ensure that your children, new spouse and possibly new family are taken care of in the future.

Retirement’s looming: Remember that you have less time to save for a joint retirement. Discuss what you have each saved already, your investments and what your retirement plans are for the future to ensure that you have continued wedded bliss.

More information on financial and estate planning is available at www.fiduciarytrust.ca.”

www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on February 20th, 2012 Read More 3 Comments

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.* Volume #2

Vol. 2, No. 38, Sunday, February 12th 2012

TITLE: “BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*Volume #2”

INTRODUCTION

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching … two days and counting. To help you in the mating dance, I wrote my first blog post titled, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*”(Vol. 2, No. 22, October 23, 2011). Last week, I did an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. I had a lot of material … Here is my 2nd installment. It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. Let’s go. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 19th 2012): If looking for Mr./Ms. Right, I have an opinion. Let’s dialogue. If you want straight talk, come on over. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say… you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment? I’ll try not to interrupt. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

During the time that I was attending my single events, I would observe, from a distance, a man putting the moves on a woman. It was interesting to watch. But when I was the object of a man’s attention, it was personal … and I fretted a little. I knew that if a man was interested in me – I needed to look for hints at what he was looking for. That was my focus and the number one piece of information that I wanted. I tried to pay attention to his signals, if any. I asked myself, “Was he presenting himself as somebody respectable?”

When all else failed, I went with my intuition.

During my single days, I was told many times by my male friends that I was sending out the wrong signals. Apparently, my body language was saying: “I’m not open to meeting a man. Don’t come near me, I do not want to be approached.” I realized that I had to change. I needed to transmit a ‘come-on-over’ message. Soon, I was meeting men. Alas, my body language was now giving out the right signals.
Body language is a form of communication. Although I don’t speak it well and I don’t understand it well, I recognize that I do it … we all do. But some of us do it better than others. While I’m not an expert – I wanted to learn more about reading and sending body language. Now I want to share with you all what I have learned.

THE AUTHOR: Tonya Reiman
Tonya Reiman experienced life as a child born in the sixties. She attended Pace University and graduated with a General Studies degree. A life changing experience was an incident when a psychology professor came ‘nose- to- nose’ with her in order to demonstrate the significance of “personal space”. She is a Certified Hypnotist, holding a NGH certification; she had a private practice, No Boundaries Hypnosis, in Smithtown, Long Island. She is an author and motivational speaker. She is a political commentator, featured as a contributor on The O’Reilly Factor and on the Fox News Channel She penned articles on body language published in Cosmopolitan, Life & Style, Time, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Woman’s World and Positive Thinking. (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonya_Reiman)

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books/Articles:
Several of her books are:
•”The Yes Factor: Get What You Want, Say What You Mean, the Power of Persuasive Communication”.
•”The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter”

THE BOOK: “The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy” by Tonya Reiman
I started with the question: “What attracts the opposite sexes to one another?” I also wondered what makes us attractive. In this book, Reiman, a history lover, considered the topic of human attraction and seduction and asks how it’s changed through the years. She looks at body parts both male and female. She wants to know, if and why, each is attractive or unattractive. She recognizes dating success or failure. She explains that attraction is: a) Biological; b) Physical; c) Chemical; d) Mental. Her message is also that attraction: is: e) Detectable; f) Manageable and g) Maneuverable. Reiman has made a contibution to the knowedge on seduction, conversation, connection, and enduring romance. It’s a ‘HOW-TO’ guide. If ovcr 18, you have a learners’ permit. Read it and meet Cupid sooner than later.

Personal Comments

Winning at love starts at the preliminary round. This is the warm up and flirting is on the menu. If interested, this is where the signal is to be sent. In the dating game, suceess or failure depends upon correctly reading body language and giving off the right non-verbal signals.
Flirting is not necessarily an invitation for or offer of sex.
Be conscious that your body language reveals how you feel about others.
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects when you meet someone. Maintaining the right level comes across as showing courtesy plus the interest in what the person has to say. Holding someone in a long gaze is a sure sign of interest. Other signals may be more subtle.
Once you send an inviting signal to the opposite sex, it’s harder to shut down the opening. It could then get uncomfortable or even dangerous.
Learn to read body language correctly. Observe people. Try to guess what’s on their mind.
Look for eye contact, strong hand shake – ask youself, “What is revealed by his or her body language?” He or she is responding to stimuli, consciously or unconsciously.
Reading someone clearly is job #1 – doing this better can save you a lot of headache.
Be careful to send out the right message. Subconsciously, at times, we may be sending the wrong message.

The Point

The skill is knowing what to look for and being observant. Learning to read body language is a very useful social skill. The knack is also to make your signals fit your wishes.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET* Volume #2
Everyone in the dating scene should note:

11. Eye level:

11.1 Eyes:

a) Good: (i). Prolonged glance (as opposed to a quick glance) is an indication of interest; (ii). Moving the eyes sideways is an act that might be bold or flirtatious; (iii). Looking quickly to the right might indicate fascination or a positive remembrance; (iv). Looking up and down is a scanning move, looking for information;
b) Noteworthy: (i). Looking down – a head down is an indication of shyness. For women, gazing downwards could be a reflex – it could be a defensive or a deferential stance. Or, if in their ‘inspector’ mode, theyprobably are looking at a man’s shoes since footwear -type and condition – is an indicator of personality. (ii). Blinking too much might be a sign of nervousness; (iii). Averting eye contact could be a sign of deceit; (iv). Winking is not cute – it is a defensive manoeuver; (vi). Looking quickly to the left might show any one of: anxiety, fear or lying – you guess.

c) Bad: (i). Rolling up eyes is a sign of rejection; (ii). Closing eyes is a shut off sign – it indicates a person is exhibiting a contrary attitude and saying: “I will not listen to you or abide by your wishes”. (N.B. However, sometimes, it could be an indication of an intelligent person, taking a moment to think and formulate a good answer. (iii). Staring hard is behaviour that could be either evasive or indicative of one pulling rank, being aggressive or threatening. (N.B. Staring back is a measured response.)

11.2 Eyebrows: a) Both raised says that he or she would like to talk to you; b) One raised indicates skepticism;

11.3 Movements at face level: a) Over -wearing sun glasses (especially indoors), might be an indication of a desire to hide; b) Stroking finger with forefinger could show deception; c) Holding up a coffee cup could be defensive in order to create something of a barrier; d) Tugging ear shows indecision and uncertainty, maybe even deceit.

12. Nose: a) Nose movements: (i). Flaring nose is indication of anger and rage; (ii). Nose in air means feelings of superiority; (iii). Twisted nose shows disapproval or disgust; (iv). Wrinkled nose shows mild- level disapproval; (b) Contact to nose: (i). Holding nose is a gesture that means that something is rotten; (ii). Touching nose is an indication of someone unsure or hiding something; (iii). Poking finger inside a nostril is not only gross, but maybe an indication that something else is going on; (iv). Putting finger on nose shows feeling of great revulsion;

13. Mouth:

13.1 Types of smile:

a) Small: It shows: (i). Non-aggression; the non-verbal statement is: ”I’m not going to attack you”. (ii). Happiness; (iii). Approval; (iv). Ease & comfort;

b) Large & open: It shows friendliness; the non-verbal statement is: ”Lets get together”.

c) Tight: It could show: (i). Embarrassment- something internal is not being exhibited externally;

d) Angry: It’s a combo indicator of someone pretending to be positive, but in reality, feeling extreme displeasure. This is passive- aggressive behavior.

e) Nervous: It shows discomfort;

13.2 Movements:

a) Puckering lips: It’s the start of a kiss; it’s disclosure of an intent to be romantic … you connect the dots.

b) Pursing lips: It shows tenseness or disapproval;

c) Biting lips: It’s an indicator of great anger;

d) Starting to laugh: It could be a precursor of inflicting punishment;

13.3 Contact to mouth:

a) Finger on lower lip: The non-verbal statement is: ”I want to talk to you”.

b) Hand over mouth: This suggests to me that a lie is being told; The non-verbal statement is: ”I am looking for a substitute”.

14. Head movements:

a) Nodding shows agreement. The non-verbal statement is: ”I am listening to you”.

b) Resting head on hands might indicate tiredness; the non-verbal statement is: ”I cannot understand what you are saying, but that I want to do so.”

c) Rubbing neck is a sign of uncertainty;

d) Stroking one’s chin might signify a state of intense reflection and pensiveness;

e) Rubbing one’s chin might be an indication of disbelief of what is being told;

f) Yawning – a social yawn could signify mild stress.

15. Arms:

a) Showing hands is a positive signal. It’s s a fact that a person in authority like law enforcement always asks to see a suspect’s hands. It illustrates openness by a person, such building trust.
b) Lifting up arms is a movement that is strong and dominant.

c) Touching someone on the shoulder is also dominant.

d) Placing arms behind head exposing body core shows no fear. This wide-open gesture indicates an outgoing person, someone confident and extraordinary.

e) Putting arm over next chair shows someone taking over more space. The non-verbal statement is: ”I am in control”.

f) Holding hands behind the back signifies confidence and ease in exposing one’s body core. It also shows leadership and a sense of control. This is typical of Prince Phillip, consort of Queen Elizabeth.

g) Holding one hand above the other shows frustration.

h) Folding arms in front is a defensive manoeuver; the non-verbal statement is: “I am not happy, I see negativity maybe even full- blown dislike. I am impatient to get away from you”.

i) Crossing arms is an indication of anxiety.

j) Putting palm out is a negative response. The non-verbal statement is: ”I don’t know if I can help you”.
k) Placing arms on hips and smiling is not a good sign if a man – he is looking for an arrangement with a woman, ‘bimbo style’.

l) Showing armpits by a woman siugnifies a sexual opening. The non-verbal statement is: “Let’s do it!”

16. Posture:

16.1 Standing:

a) Standing-up straight with good posture signifies someone positive and reliable. I think standing- up straight and tall makes one look bigger to the other person.

16.2 Sitting

a) Sitting-up straight, both feet on the ground and straight back signifies rigidity and persistence over and above, a positive attitude and reliability.

b) Sprawling out suggests someone negative and undisciplined.

c) Crossing legs (by a man) shows stubbornness.

d) Hugging a leg (by a man) is a positive sign. The non-verbal statement is: “I am ready for the coming encounter”.

e) Sitting on the edge of a seat signifies eagerness and readiness to leave; the non-verbal statement is: “I’m going to be going”.
f) Leaning forward signifies someone being adventurous, a real risk taker; the non-verbal statement is: “I am opportunistic”.

g) Straddling a chair (by a man) signifies that I am not conventional. The non-verbal statement is: “I’m in my house and talking charge”.

h) Putting hand under chair (by a man) signifies that he is interested.

17. Proxemics: This is the space between people. If intimate, it starts at 18 inches going to 4 feet. A distance of 12 feet is a bit much. Closer signifies interest and further shows disinterest. Appropriate signifies respect and inappropriate shows lack of concern over social propriety.

18. Body positioning:

a) Taking big steps signifies confidence and individualism (as opposed to little steps which indicates much less confidence.) The non-verbal statement is: “I am forthright!”

b) Taking little steps signifies much less confidence. The non-verbal statement is: “I am cautious!”.

c) Leaning back is closed.

d) Clamping back at neck is a gesture showing anger.

e) Leaning against doorway is showing interest and desire to make the deal. The non-verbal statement is: “Don’t leave… let’s continue the conversation”.

19. Body Movements

a) Copying the acts of another person – this is where a person duplicates the movements of someone else. This mirroring effect, on the surface shows interest and is complimentary, but matching could foretell lack of self perception of self -worth. Someone who exhibits copycat behavior doesn’t see himself or herself highly. The non-verbal statement is: “Use caution”.
b) Tapping foot on floor: The standstill action signifies the desire to go. The non-verbal statement is: “I am bored …I want to run…”

c) Wrapping legs around signifies a sense of attachment. The non-verbal statement is: “I am related…”

d) Crossing leg on leg high on the knee, with soul of shoe visible: This is bad. The act of showing the soul of your shoe is highly disrespectful to people particularly in the Middle East.

e) Hugging one’s foot: This signifies someone a bit panicky The non-verbal statement is: “I am afraid of this situation..”

20. Hands

a) Hand Shakes: (i). Firm hand shake – this is good; the non-verbal statement is: “Yes”. (ii). Soft but firm, social hand shake (suitable for a woman) – this is good; the non-verbal statement is: “Yes”. (iii). Bone-shattering shake – this is extremely offensive; the non-verbal statement is: “No”. (iv). Limp shake – this is very bad; the non-verbal statement is: “No”.

(v). Two-handed double clasp – This is confident and near dominant behavior, possibly a tad pushy. The non-verbal statement is: ” I am being true blue, trustworthy and I accept your hospitality”.

b) Drawing fingers: Playing with one’s fingers is distracting and shows insecurity; the non-verbal statement is: “I want to run away”.

c) Putting hands away: It is suggestive of secrecy; the non-verbal statement is: “I am not interested in you”.

d) Making a fist: It is indicative of anger and acceptance to the use of aggression; the non-verbal statement is: “I want to hit you”.

e) Offering an open hand: It is suggestive of welcome; the non-verbal statement is: “I am interested in you”.

f) Jingling keys or change: This fidgeting behaviour shows nervousness or tension; the non-verbal statement is: “I am not happy being here”.

g) Pulling at pants: It signifies disbelief; the non-verbal statement is: “I don’t believe in you as a person and what you are saying”.

h) Fiddling wedding ring (by a man): It indicates to me that something is wrong with his current relationship; the non-verbal statement is: “I am not free and clear. My suggestion is: “Run like the wind”.

i) Stroking a tie (by a man): It signifies to me that he earnestly wants to make a good impression; the non-verbal statement is: “Stop and look at me …slow down take a really good look!”

j) Hand steeple gesture (upwards): This complex hand move signifies that I am a thoughtful person, showing confidence; the non-verbal statement is: “I am intelligent and smart just like Mr Spock, Sherlock Holmes, etc.;

k) Hand steeple gesture (downwards): This complex hand move more often used by women; the non-verbal statement is: “I am a good listener”.

21. Hand signs

21.1 “OK” hand sign: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad:  a) Western democracies: Everthing is alright! b) Japan: Money; c) France: Zero! (worthless) d) Turkey:  Gay; e) Germany:  Something rude; f) Greece: Something obscene;
21.2. Churchill’s “V” sign: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Outside hand – the message is: “Up yours”; b) Inside hand (Europe) – Seeing that in medieval times, a victorious army might cut off the two fingers of an archer from the losing army, this sign is indicative of removing your offensive or defensive capability;
21.3 Thumbs up sign: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Canada, China, etc.:  Good; b) Australia, Iran: The message is: “Up yours”; c) Nigeria: The expletive is: “F??k”

21.4 Beckoning finger (calling) gesture: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Phillipines: Something nasty; b) Asia: The non-verbal statement is: “Welcome, please come in and spend money (it’s also good luck.)
21.5 Pointing finger ‘like a gun’ gesture: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) This is indicative of someone angry and unfriendly; and if poking, it signifies dominance, anger, aggressiveness, the threat of assault; the non-verbal statement is: “Don’t come closer”.

21.6 Stop gesture (5 fingers): Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Turkey – It says: “You’ll get nothing out of me”. b) West Africa – It says: “5 fathers”; c) Greece – It is highly insulting;

Body language will shed light on a potential suitor (for women) and a future love interest (for men). Stop, look and listen to the signals being sent loud and clear. Have a LOVELY Valentine’s Day!*

==============================================================================================
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Julia Sweeney: Pat
“Julia Sweeney once revealed the inspiration behind her classic character – the androgynous “Pat” – on “Saturday Night Live”: “I’d been an accountant for like five years, and there was one person I worked with in particular who had a lot of mannerisms like Pat. This person sort of drooled and had the kind of body language of Pat. I started trying to do him. I was testing it out on my friends and they were just like, ‘Yeah, it’s good, but it doesn’t seem like a guy that much.’ Like I couldn’t quite pull off being in drag convincingly enough. So then I thought, maybe that’s the joke. I’ll just have one joke in here about we don’t know if that’s a man or a woman just to sort of cover up for my lack of ability to really play a guy convincingly!”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=21285)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Muammar Qaddafi: Body Language
“In March 2004, Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi met with British Prime Minister Tony Blair for a widely-televised interview in a tent in the desert. Only later did Blair learn that showing another man the soles of one’s feet, as Qaddafi did (to Blair) throughout the interview, was understood by Arabs as a major sign of disrespect.”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=19368)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3:Nixon Down Under
“One day during his presidency, Richard Nixon landed in Australia for a state visit. As he stepped from the plane, Nixon made a peace sign (as was his custom) to signify solidarity with his Aussie hosts. Some time later he was delicately informed that, in Australia, the so-called ‘peace sign’ (unless the palm is facing out) is the equivalent of an American display of the middle finger.”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=2263)
S & R* QUOTE #1: Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday.”
(Source: Wisom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index14.html)
S & R* QUOTE #2: Benjamin Franklin
“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
S & R* QUOTE #3: Captain Jean-Luc Picard
“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. played by Patrick Stewart, from the film “Star Trek: Generations”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “body language”;
Body Language
“Body language is a form of mental and physical ability of human non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“It is important to note that some indicators of emotion (e.g. smiling/laughing when happy, frowning/crying when sad) are largely universal;[citation needed],[4] however in the 1990s Paul Ekman expanded his list of basic emotions, including a range of positive and negative emotions, not all of which are encoded in facial muscles.[13] The newly included emotions are:
A study in body language.
1. Amusement
2. Contempt
3. Contentment
4. Embarrassment
5. Excitement
6. Guilt
7. Pride in achievement
8. Relief
9. Satisfaction
10. Sensory pleasure
11. Shame
Body language signals may have a goal other than communication. People would keep both these two in mind. Observers limit the weight they place on non-verbal cues. Signalers clarify their signals to indicate the biological origin of their actions. Examples would include yawning (sleepiness), showing lack of interest (sexual interest/survival interest), attempts to change the topic (fight or flight drivers).
Physical expression
“Physical expressions like waving, pointing, touching and slouching are all forms of nonverbal communication. One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest.[6] This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. Consistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn’t trust the speaker enough to “take their eyes off” the speaker. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin.Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused.Interest can be indicated through posture or extended eye contact, such as standing and listening properly.[citation needed] Deceit or the act of withholding information can sometimes be indicated by touching the face during conversation. Excessive blinking is a well-known indicator of someone who is lying. Recently[when?], evidence has surfaced that the absence of blinking can also represent lying as a more reliable factor than excessive blinking. [7″
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: WOZA
WOZA gives roses as a symbol of love and peace on Valentine’s Day This Valentine’s Day, courageous women in Zimbabwe will be handing out paper roses in the streets. Jenni Williams, the leader of Women of Zimbabwe Arise (WOZA), has lost count of how many times she has been arrested maybe 37 or 38, she says. Jenni and her colleague, Magodonga Mahlangu, are only two of the many women who have been arrested, ill-treated, intimidated and harassed for their peaceful human rights work in this southern African country. Members often give out paper roses during their peaceful marches to symbolize their slogan of love and peace. At a Valentine’s Day event in Bulawayo last year, WOZA marched with banners proclaiming The Power of Love can conquer the Love of Power and handed out roses to the public. Three of the 53 women arrested had simply been watching. At trial, the prosecutor decided against legal action, and the activists walked free after paying fines.WOZA was formed in 2003 to defend human rights amidst the political violence in Zimbabwe, and continues their work today by mobilizing to improve living conditions for all Zimbabweans. WOZA members organize vocal and colourful peaceful demonstrations to protest
government policies that lead to a worsening social, economic and human rights situation in the country. Police arrest even children, women carrying babies and pregnant women. Officers release many without charge, but take advantage of repressive legislation such as the Public Order and Security Act and the Miscellaneous Offences Act to charge some of them.The government, in an effort to prevent public protest and criticism of its policies, has become increasingly intolerant of the work of human rights defenders and is actively seeking to silence them. WOZA members will continue by peaceful means to use their freedom to meet together and criticize government policy. Members of Amnesty International around the world are calling for the protection of WOZA members and all human rights defenders in Zimbabwe. A free information kit about how to help protect the rights of people in Zimbabwe and other countries around the world is available from Amnesty International, 1992 Yonge Street, Suite #315, Toronto, Ontario, M4S 1Z7, or
at www.amnesty.ca/zimbabwe.
www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Tips for singles on Valentine’s Day By Maja Begovic
Valentine’s Day can conjure up feelings of loneliness for those without a mate. But being alone is cheaper, easier, and it’s probably better than going out on some random date, or being with a person you’ve been meaning to break up with for months. If you don’t have a date, don’t stay at home and pout. Here are some ideas to help you celebrate the day of love:
1. Realize that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.
2. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine’s Day.
3. Resist the temptation to turn off your phone and crawl into bed early. Book a deep tissue massage at a fantastic spa, followed by a manicure and pedicure. Host a fondue party or a potluck at your house, or grab a few single friends and book a sightseeing flight over your city.
4. Do you know a couple with children who never go out because they just don’t feel they can afford a babysitter? Offer them a free night of babysitting and let them enjoy a romantic night out.
5. Nothing spreads the love faster than doing a little volunteer work. Take time to remember your good fortune and learn about how you can help improve the lives of children living in poverty through a non-profit organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada (www.ccfcanada.ca).
6. If you are single, but would rather not be, think about what is standing in the way of you and a new relationship. Find ways to work on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with. Start therapy. Take up yoga. Take action to change the world. It is into the fullest lives that love is most likely to fall.
www.newscanada.com
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved

Posted by alaposta on February 12th, 2012 Read More 122 Comments

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*

Vol. 2, No. 37, February 5th 2012

TITLE: “BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*”

INTRODUCTION

SPECIAL ALERT…. Attention all wannabe seductresses and pickup artists! With the coming of Valentine’s Day, romance and dating is on the minds of many people. I am again thinking about flirting – it is the first step in the mating dance. My starting point is my first blog post titled, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*”(Vol. 2, No. 22, October 23, 2011) But now I will go deeper. Yes, I am speaking about body language – I say that it could be a useful tool. The dating circus is daunting. Hence, my topic is body language – how to read it and how to express yourself. My book of the week is .”The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy” [Hardcover] by Tonya Reiman… (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 12th 2012): Valentine’s Day is around the corner, The mating dance is complex and difficult to perform successfully. One of the needed skill sets is the fine art of flirting. I wrote the post, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*” (Sunday, Oct.23, 2011) and last week, I did an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. I had a lot of material…I will continue the subject into next week’s blog. Why don’t you come by and check it out? It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

BONUS PREVIEW (New date – Sunday, Feb. 19th 2012): If looking for Mr./Ms. Right, I have an opinion. Let’s dialogue. If you want straight talk, come on over. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say…you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment. I’ll try not to interrupt. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

During the time that I was attending my single events, I would observe, from a distance, a man putting the moves on a woman. It was interesting to watch. But when I was the object of a man’s attention, it was personal …and I fretted a little. I knew that if a man was interested in me – I needed to look for hints at what he was looking for. That was my focus and the number one piece of information that I wanted. I tried to pay attention to his signals, if any. I asked myself, “Was he presenting himself as somebody respectable?”

When all else failed, I went with my intuition.

During my single days, I was told many times by my male friends that I was sending out the wrong signals. Apparently, my body language was saying, “I’m not open to meeting a man. Don’t come near me, I do not want to be approached.”. I realized that I had to change. I needed to transmit a ‘come-on-over’ message. Soon, I was meeting men. Alas, my body language was now giving out the right signals.
Body language is a form of communication. Although I don’t speak it well and I don’t understand it well, I recognize that I do it …we all do. But some of us do it better than others. While I’m not an expert – I wanted to learn more about reading and sending body language. Now I want to share with you all what I have learnt.

THE AUTHOR: Tonya Reiman
Tonya Reiman experienced life as a child born in the sixties. She attended Pace University and graduated with a General Studies degree. A life changing experience was an incident when a psychology professor came nose to nose with her in order to demonstrate the significance of “personal space”. She is a Certified Hypnotist, holding a NGH certification; she had a private practice, No Boundaries Hypnosis, in Smithtown, Long Island. She is an author and motivational speaker. She is a political commentator, featured as a contributor on The O’Reilly Factor, on the Fox News Channel. She penned many articles on body language published in Cosmopolitan, Life & Style, Time, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Woman’s World and Positive Thinking.
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonya_Reiman)

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books/Articles:
Several of her books are:
•”The Yes Factor: Get What You Want, Say What You Mean, the Power of Persuasive Communication”.
•”The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter”

THE BOOK: “The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy” [Hardcover] by Tonya Reiman
I started with the question: “What attracts the opposite sexes to one another?” I also wondered what makes us attractive. In this book, Reiman, a history lover, considered the topic of human attraction and seduction and asks how it’s changed through the years. She looks at body parts both male and female. She wants to know, if and why, each is attractive or unattractive. She recognizes dating success or failure. She explains that attraction is: a) Biological; b) Physical; c) Chemical; d) Mental. Her message is also that attraction: is: e) Detectable; f) Manageable and g) Maneuverable. Reiman has made a contibution to the knowedge on seduction, conversation, connection, and enduring romance. It’s a HOW-TO guide. If ovcr 18, you have a learners’ permit. Read it and meet Cupid sooner than later.

Personal Comments

Winning at love starts at the preliminary round. This is the warm up and flirting is on the menu. If interested, this is where the signal is to be sent. In the dating game, suceess or failure depends upon correctly reading body language and giving off the right non -verbal signals.
Flirting is not necessarily an invitation for or offer of sex.
Be conscious that your body language reveals how you feel about others.
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects when you meet someone. Maintaining the right level comes across as showing courtesy plus the interest in what the person has to say. Holding someone in a long gaze is a sure sign of interest. Other signals may be more subtle.
Once you send an inviting signal to the opposite sex, it’s harder to shut down the opening. It could then get uncomfortable or even dangerous.
Learn to read body language correctly. Observe people. Try to guess what’s on their mind.
Look for eye contact, strong hand shake – ask youself, “What is revealed by his or her body language?” He or she is responding to stimuli, consciously or unconsciously.
Reading someone clearly is job #1 – doing this better can save you a lot of headaches.
Be careful to send out the right message. Subconsciously, at times, we may be sending the wrong message.

The Point

The skill is knowing what to look for and being observant. Learning to read body language is a very useful social skill. The knack is also to make your signals fit your wishes.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
Everyone in the dating scene should note:
1. How we communicate – the answer is: a) 7% in words; b) 35%, the way we speak; c) 35% through body language;
2. First impression (visual clues)- several are: a) Gender (male/female); b)Face (e.g., (i). ethnic/national group; (ii). Facial hair for a man – for me, it signifies someone cautious; c) Age (younger/older); d) Prosperity & status; e) Education; f) Style sense; etc. (N.B. It’s important to receive unfavorable information ASAP – don’t disregard visual clues – there is a lot more under the surface.)
3. Visual communicators: a) Appearance – NOTICE TO MEN EVERYWHERE: Your shoes are a huge telltale sign for women. First, the choice of shoe tells something about your character…conservative or flamboyant? Also, their condition tells others something about your values and discipline level. Worn and dirty yells pass. Leather not vinyl says that you are the real deal. Proper and conservative brogue type says that you are well-screwed on, not screwed up. Indeed, shoes indicate what type of person a woman is dealing with – his status, his character, importance on grooming, etc.; b) Clothes;

4. Auditory communicators -they: a) Confirm: (i). Gender; and (ii). Age; b) Could suggest confidence or lack of it; c) Could give off clues to personality, intelligence, social economic background, etc.;
5. Speaking style communicators – look at: a) Type: (i). Variety of volume – both high and low volume would make people uncomfortable – it might signify a need to dominate and feelings of inadequacy; (ii). Speed – it might mean that he or she wants to conclude the conversation – it might show nervousness; (iii). Pitch; b) Use of jargon & slang – it could give a hint of geographical origin; c) Good conversational topics and their propriety for business or social environments – they could show experience and ease in social situations;  d) Suitable questions could further show good social sense; e) Good telephone etiquette – it would show me he has a little class;
6. Analyzing visual auditory clues – they could suggest: a) If someone is a positive or negative person; c) If he or she is receptive or contrary to what is being said to him or her;   d) If he or she seems truthful and sincere;
7. Learning non verbal body language: a) Learn to spot: (i).  If someone is seemingly functional or not; (ii). Quality of behavior learned, not instinctive; (iii). If he or she is open to learn or already knows it all – if so, don’t stop! (iii). If he or she is willing to improve and change – if not, he or she is in the “No” trap, keep walking if you please.
8. Language choices -it touches upon credibility: a) Words being used – Be conscious that words have different connotations and meaning – examples : (i). I’m sorry; (ii). You’re fired;
9. Facial expressions are indicative of emotions, which a person is feeling: a) Smile signifies receptiveness: (i). Smile up to eyes signifies happiness; (ii). Smile moderate and contrived signifies insincerity; c) Micro- expressions – these are expressions that flash for a second providing key insights in the person – Pay attention!
9.1 Eyes & Pupil dilation: a) Whether dilated or not, there is something, provoking emotional response in him or her; b) Interrelated topics: (i). Biofeedback; (ii). Meditation; (iii). Yes you can feelings;  c) Face –saving quality; d) Performance appraisal – remember there are no stupid questions … only stupid answers!
10. Five main non verbal communicators: a) Eye contact: (i) Staring is aggressive; b) Facial expression: (i). Furling one’s brow could show concentration or intense need to know; (ii). Frown signifies indifference; c) Body position: (i). Straight up indicates strength; (ii). Leaning in shows interest; d) Body proximity: (i). Being at arm’s length is minimum and respectful of others; (ii) Staying further away suggests attitude of stand-offishness; (iii). Coming much closer is invasion of personal space – this is threatening behavior ; (iv). Grabbing can be near assault – this is never good; e) Linguistic behavior: (i) articulate or not – how you say what you say; (ii). Use of pause and silence: It strikes a contrast with volume. Going silent does not show stupidity – it shows that one is thinking and able to stop talking -indeed ready to listen. It also shows confidence as there is not always the need to say something.

SURPRISE…SURPRISE…More to come…to be continued next week!

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
P.S. Big News: There are big changes coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.
P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com –   saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
===============================================================
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Julia Sweeney: Pat
“Julia Sweeney once revealed the inspiration behind her classic character – the androgynous “Pat” – on “Saturday Night Live”: “I’d been an accountant for like five years, and there was one person I worked with in particular who had a lot of mannerisms like Pat. This person sort of drooled and had the kind of body language of Pat. I started trying to do him. I was testing it out on my friends and they were just like, ‘Yeah, it’s good, but it doesn’t seem like a guy that much.’ Like I couldn’t quite pull off being in drag convincingly enough. So then I thought, maybe that’s the joke. I’ll just have one joke in here about we don’t know if that’s a man or a woman just to sort of cover up for my lack of ability to really play a guy convincingly!”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=21285)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Muammar Qaddafi: Body Language
“In March 2004, Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi met with British Prime Minister Tony Blair for a widely-televised interview in a tent in the desert. Only later did Blair learn that showing another man the soles of one’s feet, as Qaddafi did (to Blair) throughout the interview, was understood by Arabs as a major sign of disrespect.”
(Source: Anecdotage) –  http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=19368)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3:Nixon Down Under
“One day during his presidency, Richard Nixon landed in Australia for a state visit. As he stepped from the plane, Nixon made a peace sign (as was his custom) to signify solidarity with his Aussie hosts. Some time later he was delicately informed that, in Australia, the so-called ‘peace sign’ (unless the palm is facing out) is the equivalent of an American display of the middle finger.”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=2263)
S & R* QUOTE #1: Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday.”
(Source: Wisom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index14.html)
S & R* QUOTE #2: Benjamin Franklin
“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) –   http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
S & R* QUOTE #3: Captain Jean-Luc Picard
“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. played by Patrick Stewart, from the film “Star Trek: Generations”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “body language”;
Body Language
“Body language is a form of mental and physical ability of human non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“It is important to note that some indicators of emotion (e.g. smiling/laughing when happy, frowning/crying when sad) are largely universal;[citation needed],[4] however in the 1990s Paul Ekman expanded his list of basic emotions, including a range of positive and negative emotions, not all of which are encoded in facial muscles.[13] The newly included emotions are:
A study in body language.
1. Amusement
2. Contempt
3. Contentment
4. Embarrassment
5. Excitement
6. Guilt
7. Pride in achievement
8. Relief
9. Satisfaction
10. Sensory pleasure
11. Shame
Body language signals may have a goal other than communication. People would keep both these two in mind. Observers limit the weight they place on non-verbal cues. Signalers clarify their signals to indicate the biological origin of their actions. Examples would include yawning (sleepiness), showing lack of interest (sexual interest/survival interest), attempts to change the topic (fight or flight drivers).
Physical expression
“Physical expressions like waving, pointing, touching and slouching are all forms of nonverbal communication. One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest.[6] This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. Consistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn’t trust the speaker enough to “take their eyes off” the speaker. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin.Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused.Interest can be indicated through posture or extended eye contact, such as standing and listening properly.[citation needed] Deceit or the act of withholding information can sometimes be indicated by touching the face during conversation. Excessive blinking is a well-known indicator of someone who is lying. Recently[when?], evidence has surfaced that the absence of blinking can also represent lying as a more reliable factor than excessive blinking. [7″
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: WOZA
WOZA gives roses as a symbol of love and peace on Valentine’s Day This Valentine’s Day, courageous women in Zimbabwe will be handing out paper roses in the streets. Jenni Williams, the leader of Women of Zimbabwe Arise (WOZA), has lost count of how many times she has been arrested maybe 37 or 38, she says. Jenni and her colleague, Magodonga Mahlangu, are only two of the many women who have been arrested, ill-treated, intimidated and harassed for their peaceful human rights work in this southern African country. Members often give out paper roses during their peaceful marches to symbolize their slogan of love and peace. At a Valentine’s Day event in Bulawayo last year, WOZA marched with banners proclaiming The Power of Love can conquer the Love of Power and handed out roses to the public. Three of the 53 women arrested had simply been watching. At trial, the prosecutor decided against legal action, and the activists walked free after paying fines.WOZA was formed in 2003 to defend human rights amidst the political violence in Zimbabwe, and continues their work today by mobilizing to improve living conditions for all Zimbabweans. WOZA members organize vocal and colourful peaceful demonstrations to protest
government policies that lead to a worsening social, economic and human rights situation in the country. Police arrest even children, women carrying babies and pregnant women. Officers release many without charge, but take advantage of repressive legislation such as the Public Order and Security Act and the Miscellaneous Offences Act to charge some of them.The government, in an effort to prevent public protest and criticism of its policies, has become increasingly intolerant of the work of human rights defenders and is actively seeking to silence them. WOZA members will continue by peaceful means to use their freedom to meet together and criticize government policy. Members of Amnesty International around the world are calling for the protection of WOZA members and all human rights defenders in Zimbabwe. A free information kit about how to help protect the rights of people in Zimbabwe and other countries around the world is available from Amnesty International, 1992 Yonge Street, Suite #315, Toronto, Ontario, M4S 1Z7, or
at www.amnesty.ca/zimbabwe.
www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Tips for singles on Valentine’s Day By Maja Begovic
Valentine’s Day can conjure up feelings of loneliness for those without a mate. But being alone is cheaper, easier, and it’s probably better than going out on some random date, or being with a person you’ve been meaning to break up with for months. If you don’t have a date, don’t stay at home and pout. Here are some ideas to help you celebrate the day of love:
1. Realize that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.
2. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine’s Day.
3. Resist the temptation to turn off your phone and crawl into bed early. Book a deep tissue massage at a fantastic spa, followed by a manicure and pedicure. Host a fondue party or a potluck at your house, or grab a few single friends and book a sightseeing flight over your city.
4. Do you know a couple with children who never go out because they just don’t feel they can afford a babysitter? Offer them a free night of babysitting and let them enjoy a romantic night out.
5. Nothing spreads the love faster than doing a little volunteer work. Take time to remember your good fortune and learn about how you can help improve the lives of children living in poverty through a non-profit organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada (www.ccfcanada.ca).
6. If you are single, but would rather not be, think about what is standing in the way of you and a new relationship. Find ways to work on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with. Start therapy. Take up yoga. Take action to change the world. It is into the fullest lives that love is most likely to fall.
www.newscanada.com
TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved

Posted by alaposta on February 5th, 2012 Read More 52 Comments

VALENTINE’S DAY: SPENDING IT ALONE (OR NOT) – I HAVE THOUGHTS & IDEAS: gifts, cards, flowers, etc.* – UPDATE 2012

Vol. 2, No. 36, Sunday, January 29th, 2012

TITLE: “VALENTINE’S DAY: SPENDING IT ALONE (OR NOT) – I HAVE THOUGHTS & IDEAS: gifts, cards, flowers, etc.*” – UPDATE 2012

INTRODUCTION

Valentine’s Day is coming …Valentine’s Day is coming. On the occasion of Valentine’s Day, I have an update of my post from last year, “SPENDING VALENTINE’S DAY ALONE (OR NOT) – I HAVE THOUGHTS & IDEAS*” (Feb. 2011). Hence, my topic is love and the festivities on this special day. I want to address those in a couple and those that are not. My book of the week is still: “Love Story” by Erich Segal. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on holidays & special dates plus dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 5th 2012): Valentine’s Day is around the corner, The mating dance is complex and difficult to perform successfully. One of the needed skill sets is the fine art of flirting. I wrote the post, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*”

I will do an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. Why don’t you come by and check it out? It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

BONUS PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 12th 2012): If looking for Mr./Ms. Right, I have an opinion. Let’s dialogue. If you want straight talk, come on over. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say…you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment. I’ll try not to interrupt. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*
Childhood: At my home, Valentine’s Day was not celebrated. My father did not buy gifts for my mother, although they had a good marriage. However, I do have fond memories from grade school, when I exchanged cards with my school friends. I always hoped to get as many cards as possible. As a youngster, I thought that this told me how popular I was and how many kids in my class liked me. I also got cards from friends other than my class mates.

Marriage: We did not make a big deal on Valentine’s Day … just a few chocolates, cards and a telephone call or two.

Post marriage: Later when divorced and single, I had friends in a like situation, who were not bothered by Valentine’s day. Truth -for me, it was hard- this was a significant day, which I tried to ignore. It reminded me that I was no longer a part of a couple. Everywhere I went that day, I noticed how many people were coupled up. I dealt with this by planning to go, along with my girl friends, to a singles’ event. And on the day, I enjoyed myself – in the end, the day was entertaining and fun.

Now-a-days: At present, with my significant other, Valentine’s day is not easy due to our busy schedules. It’s not what we do that is important: we could go out for a dinner for two or enjoy a quiet supper at home. Nevertheless, it is important that we take pause and make time for each other – it’s that important. The gifts, cards and dinner are not the key – instead, it’s quite simple really, it’s that there is mutual respect and we are ‘in like’. Of course, “love is all around” and we are together. We even smile at each other.

Update

Since last year, I have lived real life, some stuff good …some bad. Love is still a big part of my everyday. This Valentine’s Day, I shall celebrate. I truly want to help all of you out there not feeling loved and loving. With the hope of getting you there, stay tuned….more posts coming your way in this space .

THE AUTHOR: Erich Wolf Segal
Erich Wolf Segal, born in Brooklyn N.Y., was an author, screenwriter and Ivy League university professor. His star crossed with the Beatles as he wrote the srceenplay of the 1968 motion picture, “Yellow Submarine”. His fame skyrocketed with the novel, “Love Story”. It was a best-seller and the movie of the same name was a huge hit – it was the number one box office attraction of 1970. Segal authored other books. He suffered from Parkinson’s disease and died in 2010 from a heart attack. He was not known as a master of fluff. Instead, he was recognized as a very intense person whose perseverance was remarkable. (Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia)

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books
Several of his books were:
• [1970], Love Story, Oxford bookworms, Oxford University Press, OCLC 271780786
• (1977), Oliver’s Story, Granada, ISBN 9780246110077
• (1985), The Class, Bantam, ISBN 9780593010044
• (1988), Doctors, Toronto, ISBN 9780553052947
Movies
Several movies based upon Segal’s books were:
• Yellow Submarine (1968)
• Love Story (1970) – Ali McGraw and Ryan O’Neal starred as the lovebirds. Ray Milland was the father. It was the No. 1 movie of 1970. Tears flowed non-stop.
• Oliver’s Story (1978)

BOOK: “Love Story” by Erich Segal
This was a romantic yarn, borderline soap opera. Yet it worked and struck a chord with baby boomers. Indeed, it became the classic of a generation. Of course, boy meets girl, but there was more, much more. Oliver Barrett IV was a rich kid from a family of blue blood lawyers who became enthralled with a young woman, a mere commoner type. But this lady was smart, spunky and she spoke her mind. Harvard was the place. The boy played rough and tough hockey and studied hard at law school. The girl looked great, had style and was a true lady. “Preppy” was a phrase used often. His parents objected- read – a demanding and over bearing father thought his son could do better. The young man was a real man and stood up for his beloved. They married. He became estranged from his father/parents. The couple was happy. But life got in the way! From this book came one of the great lines of the century: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry!” It sold over 21 million copies in 33 languages. I liked it. I think that it is a candidate meriting to be discovered by generation Y and beyond.

CONCLUSION
A person is better off having love in his or her life. Valentine’s Day is the day to celebrate this love.

My personal comments
Most people think that Valentine’s Day is about the love between a man or a woman. My take is different. Let me be clear. I think Valentine’s Day is a celebration of all love. First, it is a celebration of the love between a person and his or her parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, etc. If you are able to love – it means that you can feel. Indeed you are blessed and have a gift. If you are the recipient of love – it gives you a feeling of belonging, being part of a family. Indeed, you are blessed and have a gift. Second, it is a celebration of the love between a person and his or her significant other. If you are able to love – it means that you have passion and are alive. Indeed, you are blessed and have a gift. If you are the recipient of love – It makes you feel loved and complete. Indeed, you are blessed and have a gift.Third, there is another love – the love of pets. While I have an allergy and do not have a pet, I have friends who love their pets. I think that this is great as well. If you have a pet that lovingly wags a tail when you come home, you are blessed and have a gift. If you lovingly pat your pet, when you come home, you are blessed and have a gift.

In my opinion, Feb. 14th is highly commercialized for financial purposes. Many businesses make money on this day – restaurants, florists, chocolates and candy stores and card stores. It could be considered as one of their prime times during the year. Billions of dollars are spent for gifts on this day. This says something of the importance of the day.

In my perception, it is important to have love in your life because it makes you flourish. Studies show that a baby that is loved, but barely fed, still grows up happy and healthy. Whereas a baby that is well- fed, but not loved, grows up unhealthy and may even die.

The point
When it comes to love, I say that it is all about a glass of water, 1/2 full and 1/2 empty. Celebrating this day does not require that you now have a man (or woman) in your life. If you are lucky to love and have love, then see the glass 1/2 full and appreciate what you do have. If you want more, then go out and find it! Make your very own “Love Story” – you can do it. There is someone out there perfect for everyone.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
Everyone should:
General
1. Make love a part of your life;
2. Recognize the TRUE love that you DO have in your life;
3. Acknowledge your loved ones;
4. Celebrate Valentine’s day – it is a feel good thing to do; If with a living parent,
4.1 Show you care by taking a moment to:
4.1.1 Send a greeting card;
4.1.2 Make a phone call on the day of, saying: ” I love you”; a simple kindness is worth so much!
5. Buy him or her a bag of doughnuts, hot buns, bagels or whatever, if in the same city; giving such is an excuse to go and say you that you appreciate him or her being part of your life!
If with adult children,
6. Invite them for a homemade dinner with all of their favorite dishes;
7. Buy a card – saying that you love a child, even one all grown up, and you are so proud of him or her – saying so NEVER goes out of style! If with a good friend,
8. Buy a little something which suits him or her; thoughtfulness combined with knowledge of the individual plus effort sends a powerful message to your friend: that you are a great friend;
9. Send him or her the name of this post at www.saveandread.com/blog with the phrase, “I appreciate our friendship” – Now that’s something different and an attention getter!
If in a romantic relationship
10.Recognize:
10.1 That the fast pace of daily life makes it difficult for people to nurture a relationship;
10.2 That Valentine’s Day is the moment when a couple should stop and smell the coffee;
10.3 That your efforts to make this a special day for you and your significant other could make a difference in the quality and future success of the relationship;
11. Stop and send the following text message: “I love you!”
12. Make a date -it doesn’t have to be expensive; take advantage of the opportunity to have fun with your better half and enjoy his or her company!
13.Pay attention to a mate, to his or her likes and desires – this will move him or her!
14. Buy something special … as a token of love – it could be a greeting card, flowers (or a single rose) or something personal, (e.g., jewelry, fragrance, clothing, etc.);
15. Make your very best dish with a bottle of wine or bake a dessert that says he or she has been really good!
16. Rekindle the romance in the relationship if that is needed;
If single,
15. Recognize the value of friendship;
16. Pick up a phone or send a text to a friend (platonic) and say: “Hi, let’s have a coffee or do something on Valentine’s day weekend.”
17. Go with your friends to a singles’ event;
18. Have a blast whatever you do!

Oh boy, look at the time. I have so much to do in preparation for Valentine’s Day. Gotta go …Love ya!*

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
CREDITS
-Web Tech: richmediasound.com
*TM/© 2011, 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
====================================================================================================================
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #1: Bit Brazen?
“The Los Angeles Times once published a Valentine’s Day story on several prominent couples, among them Arnold Schwarzenegger and his lovely wife, Maria Shriver. According to the story, on the very day the couple met, Schwarzenegger told Maria’s mother: “Your daughter has a great body.” Los Angeles Times media critic David Shaw – thinking the comment ‘a bit brazen, even for Schwarzenegger’ -later asked the actor whether he had actually said it. “No,” Schwarzenegger replied. “I said, ‘Your daughter has a nice ass!’”
(Source: Anecdotage) – www.anecdotage.com) -http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=5862
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #2: Happy Valentine’s Day
“In February 2003, Kelly Osbourne’s boyfriend Bert made a surprising announcement during his band’s Valentine’s Day concert. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said. “I love you and you’re my favorite person in the world – but we’re breaking up.”
(Source: Anecdotage) – www.anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=16288
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #3: “I sent flowers today”
“I sent flowers today,” Dana Carvey announced on Valentine’s Day, 2005. “I got this Lebanese florist. He says, ‘What do you want to say on the card?’ ‘Okay, darling sweeetheart -’ ‘Darling sweeetheart – What else? What else? What else? What else?’ ‘I love you so much your mere touch excites me.’ ‘Mere touch excites me. What else? What else? What else? What else?’ And the finally, he says, ‘I have a suggestion: Why don’t you say, “If you ever leave me I will hunt you down and kill you and your lover.” They love the passion.’”
(Source: Anecdotage) – www.anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=21167
S & R* QUOTE #1: Amy Bloom
“All intimacy is rare — that’s what makes it precious. And it involves the revelation of one’s self and the loving gaze upon another’s true self (no makeup, no fancy car, no defensive charm, no seduction) — that’s what makes it so damn hard. Intimacy requires honesty and kindness in almost equal measure (a little more kindness, I think), trust and trustworthiness, forgiveness and the capacity to be forgiven . . . It’s more than worth it — just don’t let them tell you it’s bilss.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/)
S & R* QUOTE #2: Eleanor Roosevelt
“The giving of love is an education in itself.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/)
S & R* QUOTE #3: Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
“The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.|
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: Saint Valentine’s Day; etc.
Saint Valentine’s Day
“Saint Valentine’s Day, commonly shortened to Valentine’s Day,[1][2][3] is an annual commemoration held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.[1][3] The day is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 500 AD. It was deleted from the Roman calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI, but its religious observance is still permitted. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as “valentines”). The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. Modern Valentine’s Day symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have given way to mass-produced greeting cards.[4]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine’s_Day
Bonus fact #1: St. Valentines Day – Historical facts
“Numerous early Christian martyrs were named Valentine.[5] The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb. m. Romae) and Valentine of Terni (Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m. Romae).[6] Valentine of Rome[7] was a priest in Rome who was martyred about AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. His relics are at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome,[8] and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.Valentine of Terni[9] became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) about AD 197 and is said to have been martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino).[10]The Catholic Encyclopedia also speaks of a third saint named Valentine who was mentioned in early martyrologies under date of February 14. He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him.[11]No romantic elements are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the 14th century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost.[12]In the 1969 revision of the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints, the feastday of Saint Valentine on February 14 was removed from the General Roman Calendar and relegated to particular (local or even national) calendars for the following reason: “Though the memorial of Saint Valentine is ancient, it is left to particular calendars, since, apart from his name, nothing is known of Saint Valentine except that he was buried on the Via Flaminia on February 14.”[13] The feast day is still celebrated in Balzan (Malta) where relics of the saint are claimed to be found, and also throughout the world by Traditionalist Catholics who follow the older, pre-Second Vatican Council calendar.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine’s_Day
Bonus fact #1-A: St. Valentines Day – Romantic legends
“Saint Valentine of Terni and his disciples.The Early Medieval acta of either Saint Valentine were expounded briefly in Legenda Aurea.[14] According to that version, St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Claudius was impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his life. Valentine refused and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. Because of this, he was executed. Before his execution, he is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer.Since Legenda Aurea still provided no connections whatsoever with sentimental love, appropriate lore has been embroidered in modern times to portray Valentine as a priest who refused an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men remain single. The Emperor supposedly did this to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail.There is an additional modern embellishment to The Golden Legend, provided by American Greetings to History.com, and widely repeated despite having no historical basis whatsoever. On the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he would have written the first “valentine” card himself, addressed to a young girl variously identified as his beloved,[15] as the jailer’s daughter whom he had befriended and healed,[16] or both. It was a note that read “From your Valentine.”[15]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine’s_Day
Bonus fact #2: Saint Valentine’s Day massacre
“The Saint Valentine’s Day massacre is the name given to the murder of seven people as part of a prohibition era conflict between two powerful criminal gangs in Chicago, in 1929: the South Side Italian gang led by Al Capone and the North Side Irish gang led by Bugs Moran. Former members of the Egan’s Rats gang were also suspected to have played a large role in the St. Valentine’s Day massacre, assisting Capone. Capone might have ordered it after Bugs’ gang machine-gunned Al Capone’s headquarters.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Valentine’s_Day_massacre

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
Candy is Dandy
“1,233 – Number of locations producing chocolate and cocoa products in 2007. These establishments employed 38,794 people. California led the nation in the number of such establishments with 143, followed by Pennsylvania with 115.
Source: County Business Patterns <http://censtats.census.gov/cgi-bin/cbpnaic/cbpdetl.pl>
23.8 pounds – Per capita consumption of candy by Americans in 2008.”
Source: Current Industrial Reports <http://www.census.gov/manufacturing/cir/historical_data/ma311d/>
Flowers
“- $403 million – The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut flowers in 2008 for all flower-producing operations with $100,000 or more in sales. Among states, California was the leading producer, alone accounting for about three-quarters of this amount ($314 million).
– 24 million – The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut roses in 2008 for all operations with $100,000 or more in sales.”
Source: USDA National Agricultural Statistics Service <http://usda.mannlib.cornell.edu/MannUsda/viewDocumentInfo.do?documentID=1072>
Jewelry
“27,484 –
Number of jewelry stores in the United States in 2007. Jewelry stores offer engagement, wedding and other rings to lovers of all ages. In February 2009, these stores sold $2.2 billion in merchandise.”
Source: County Business Patterns <http://censtats.census.gov/cgi-bin/cbpnaic/cbpdetl.pl> and Monthly Retail Trade and Food Services
<http://www.census.gov/retail>
Be mine
“2.16 million
The number of marriages that took place in the United States in 2008. That breaks down to a little less than 6,000 a day.”
(Source: National Center for Health Statistics) http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/nvsr.htm>
Giving Love a Second Chance
“3 1/2 – The median time in years between divorce and a second marriage.
52%, 44% – Among adults 25 and older who have ever divorced, the percentage of men and women, respectively, who were currently married.”
(Source for the data in this section, unless otherwise noted: Marriage and Divorce: 2004)
<http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/marital_status_living_arrangements/cb07-131.html>
(Source: U.S. Census Bureau) – http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/cb10-ff02.html
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: Valentine’s Day 2010 – Feb. 14
“Opinions abound as to who was the original Valentine, with the most popular theory that he was a clergyman who was executed for secretly marrying couples in ancient Rome in spite of Emperor Claudius II, who felt that marriage weakened his soldiers. In any event, in A.D. 496, Pope Gelasius I declared Feb. 14 as Valentine Day. Through the centuries, the Christian holiday became a time to exchangelove messages, and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. Esther Howland, a native of Massachusetts, is given credit for selling the first mass-produced valentine cards in the 1840s. The spirit of love continues today as valentines are sent with sentimental verses, from and to young and old romantics.”
(Source: U.S. Census Bureau) – http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/cb10-ff02.html
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Trends
(NC)”Looking to make an impact this year with your loved one on Valentine’s Day? The latest consumer trend is to avoid the traditional and stale options of chocolates and flowers for women and shirts and ties for men and choose [UTF-8?]â€œsmartâ€ gifts that you know your better half will enjoy. A new gift concept called Smartbox takes the guessing out of gift giving and offers you a chance to give fun, thoughtful gifts that will leave your loved ones impressed on any occasion.When you offer a gift to someone you love, you want to make sure they’ll actually enjoy it, because we all know the feeling of receiving a gift that just wasn’t ‘us’. Smartbox is the perfect solution to ensure your loved one will light up every time, said David Meyers, CEO of Smartbox.A new and simple gift concept, Smartbox enables that special someone to choose their own gift experience so gift givers are certain to delight every time. Choose from the 9 different themes, such as restaurants, spas, gateways, adventures or exploration, each with hundreds of options, Smartbox is the perfect personalised gift and allows people to discover new and exciting experiences they would never have found on their own. The concept is simple: choose a theme, buy the related Smartbox, and give it as a gift (or use it yourself!). A glossy illustrated guidebook is included in the package to let the recipient choose from up to 900 different experiences, activities and escapes. They then reserve a date and time to redeem their gift experience directly with the supplier using the contact information included in the guidebook. Gift recipients need only bring their Smartbox gift certificate with them on the day of their reservation to redeem it. The value of the gift is never revealed to the recipient so they will have no idea how much you paid. All packages are all inclusive except for travel expenses.The man in your life likes adventure? Now, you can offer him an original and fulfilling experience by letting him choose between surfing, kayaking, paintball, sailing, paramotor tandem and many other options. Your wife who has everything enjoys great food? You can now offer her a gourmet dining experience in a restaurant that suits her tastes. Smartbox themes include restaurants, spas, gateways, adventures and exploration. Smartbox is available at more than 450 retail locations including Zellers, Jean Coutu and Home Outfitters (Déco Découverte) in Quebec, Ontario, Alberta and British Columbia and online at www.smartbox.com/ca. ”
News Canada
*TM/© 2011, 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by alaposta on January 29th, 2012 Read More 165 Comments

Archive for the ‘Relationships; Romance, Dating, Marriage’ Category

COUPLES’ DATE NIGHT: Ideas, outfits, recipes, games, free, at home, etc.- I have a report!*

FLIRT: flirty quotes, flirting tips, pick-up lines, etc. – I have an opinion or two!*

EROTIC ROMANTIC NOVELS – Fifty Shades of Grey: bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, Sadomasochism; I say WOWEE!*”

BEYOND ONLINE, THERE IS ALSO A BLIND DATE: I consider the idea, success rate,tips, stories, etc.*(Cont’d)”

“BEYOND ONLINE, THERE IS ALSO A BLIND DATE: I CONSIDER THE IDEA, SUCCESS RATE, TIPS, STORIES, ETC.*”

BEYOND ONLINE – THERE IS SPEED DATING: I consider the questions, rules, game, success rate, tips!*

· Surviving Internet and Speed Dating by Joanne Schoenwald (Paperback – Jan 1 2008)

FIND MR. / MS RIGHT: I have the secret, tips..HOW -TO!*

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.* Volume #2

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*

VALENTINE’S DAY: SPENDING IT ALONE (OR NOT) – I HAVE THOUGHTS & IDEAS: gifts, cards, flowers, etc.* – UPDATE 2012

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