Archive for the ‘Women’s Issues’ Category

SUNSCREEN & SWIM WEAR: Beach wear, swim / bathing suits, cover ups, etc.: I want you to look & feel your best!*

Vol. 4, No.9, Monday, May 27, 2013

TITLE: “SUNSCREEN & SWIM WEAR: Beach wear, swim / bathing suits, cover ups, etc.: I want you to look & feel your best!*”


Psst! … Summer is just about here. You know what that means: Outdoors and sun, beach and sand, etc. But it’s not only fun and games. It’s also about serious shopping of the female kind. I’m speaking about a lady buying summer attire, particularly the right bathing suit & cover-up (e.g., bikini, one piece, etc.) I think that you all would agree with me that this can be sheer agony!  And buying proper sunscreen can also be difficult. Let’s share notes. I’ll go first. See below.  My book of the week is “Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Portfolio: Fantasy Islands” [Hardcover] Editors of Sports Illustrated (Author). (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on women’s issues.)


Teens & twenties: As a young girl, I always wore a bikini on the beach. This was also the time when we used sun reflectors to tan our face.  It was considered attractive to have a dark sun tan. Whew! Times have sure changed.

Middle Age: As I age, I have worn a one-piece bathing suit or a tankini.  As with everything a woman wears, it has to be age appropriate. Regarding the sun, we are nowadays better informed and more aware of the damage that unprotected exposure can do. Today, we take precautions.  

Motherhood stories:

1. When my daughters were teenagers, we decided to spend the day at a water slide park.  I was wearing a strapless bathing suit.  As I was going down the water slide, the top of my bathing suit came down.  I immediately grabbed my top and pulled it up.  It was Soooo embarrassing!  This taught me a lesson – never wear a strapless bathing suit when going to a water slide park!

2. Years ago, we were vacationing in Wildwood, New Jersey.  We went to the beach and I forgot my sun hat.  As a consequence, I got a sun stroke and was in bed for two days.

THE AUTHOR: Editors of Sports Illustrated

Sports Illustrated is a long-standing  magazine founded by Henry Luce of Time Inc., now TIME WARNER. This periodical title is an icon that has passed the test of time. It’s now an institution. Its editors are  highly regarded. You can expect high quality in a book from such publishers.



Several books are:

THE BOOK: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Portfolio: Fantasy Islands [Hardcover] Editors of Sports Illustrated (Author)

Four top photographers took the photographs which were published in the 2011 Swimsuit Issue of Sports Illustrated. The book has the photos and assignment stories plus background material. The reading is interesting but the photos are the big attraction. They feature 17 world class models with legs that don’t quit and great figures wearing lovely swim suits. To add to the eye candy, there are four amazing exotic beach locations: Turtle Island in Fiji, Sentosa Island in Singapore, Peter Island in the British Virgin Islands and Boracay Island in the Philippines.

Regardless of the magazine’s name and its sports category, I chose this book. Real women appreciate good looking women wearing beautiful clothing. It gives us all ideas on what looks good!


Summer is a great time for outdoor fun. For a woman, choosing a bathing suit is a big deal. For women and everyone else, it’s important to be careful about the sun.

Personal Comments

I say:

  • That looking our best on the beach is everyone’s goal.
  • That at the start of  the summer, we usually want to get fit.
  • That it’s difficult to choose the right bathing suit. Here are my suggestions:
    • Choose a suit for our body shape – it will make a difference. The right body suit will highlight your best feature and downplay your less desirable one.
    • Wear the right bathing suit according to the activity.
  • That there are several body shapes:  hour-glass, pear-shaped, apple-shaped, big-chested, slim or boyish, or plus-sized.  What body shape are you?
  • That exposure to the sun causes dry skin and premature aging.  Excessive sun exposure can also cause skin cancer.
  • That it’s a good idea to wear a cover up and a hat to protect yourself .
  • That at the beach, I would rather sit in the shade than in the sun.
  • That I also use sunscreen. I understand that it’s how often you apply it rather than the strength of the sunscreen that’s important. Apparently SPF 15 or higher is the strength you need.

The Point

This year, be properly dressed and protected when at the beach or poolside.


Every woman should:

  1. Get with the pre-beach program to look your best; more precisely: (a) Join a gym and get fit; (b) Eat healthy and less; and (c) Get bikini waxed.
  2. Buy the perfect bathing suit – to do this, (a) Go to a good bathing suit store … one that sells beach wear.  The sales people are more knowledgeable about bathing suits and which ones are more flattering to your body type; (b) Determine your body shape and buy a suit that is suitable; (c) Select a bathing suit that’s age appropriate; (d) Buy quality not price – a better made suit will stand out and look good and better on you;
  3. Use  sunscreen – it’s necessary to protect yourself against damage to your skin.  In this regard, (a) Try sunscreens – SPF 15 or higher; (b) Apply sunscreen often rather than using a high SPF sunscreen;
  4. Wear dark clothing;
  5. Wear a sun hat;
  6. Sit in the shade for at least every half hour or so when on the beach.

This summer at the beach or swimming pool: For boys and men, it’s beer, sun and sand; and 1-2-3, they’re ready. For girls who want to have summer fun, it takes plenty of prior planning and preparations. But for women who want to look good and feel good, this takes a lot of time, effort and money. To one and all, have a ball … a beach ball this summer!

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”

P.S. Big News: There are big changes FINALLY coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.

P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit –   saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit – Antoinette La Posta


-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
*TM/© 2013 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.




For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “bathing suits”; “sunscreen”

“A swimsuit, bathing suit, swimming costume, swimming suit, tog, bathers, or cossie (short for “costume”) is an item of clothing designed to be worn by men, women or children while they are engaging in a water-based activity or water sports, such as swimming, water polo, diving, surfing, water skiing, or during activities in the sun, such as sun bathing.” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

“Sunscreen (also commonly known as sunblock, sun tan lotion, sun screen, sunburn cream, sun cream or block out)[1] is a lotion, spray, gel or other topical product that absorbs or reflects some of the sun‘s ultraviolet (UV) radiation on the skin exposed to sunlight and thus helps protect against sunburn.”  (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –


Women’s swimsuits

Name Description
(also known as tank suit, maillot)
Probably the most common form of one-piece swimsuit, the tank suit form is inspiration for the subsequent creation of the tank top as a mainstream article of clothing. The name “tank suit” is also supposed to be derived from the term “swimming tank”, an obsolete term for what is now called a swimming pool.
(also known as two piece)
One piece covers the breasts, the other the groin and buttocks, leaving an uncovered area between the two. Bikinis are available in many stylistic variations. (see Bikini variants)
(also known as two piece)
Two piece covers the breasts and stomach (like a tank top), the other the groin and buttocks. Leaves a small gap in between the belly button and the hips. Tankinis are available in many stylistic variations.
(also known as a unikini or topless swimsuit)
Refers to:(1) A women’s swimsuit with one piece that exposes the breasts, originally invented by Rudi Gernreich in 1964, available in many stylistic variations and generally refers to a bikini bottom, or thong worn alone without a top.(2) A recent trend in women’s one-piece swimsuits. It is typically styled so that from the front it looks like a typical one-piece with side cut-outs, but from the back it looks like a bikini. Many monokini styles also include plunging necklines.
Burqini Covers the whole body and head (but not face) in a manner similar to a diver’s wetsuit.

(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – health risks of sunscreen

Sunscreen is widely acknowledged to protect against sunburn and two common forms of skin cancer, squamous cell carcinoma (SCC) and basal cell carcinoma (BCC). However, there is some evidence that sunscreen use can contribute to negative health outcomes. The major claims include:

Some sunscreens only protect against UVB radiation, and not against the more dangerous UVA component of the spectrum. Incomplete protection against the full ultraviolet spectrum, combined with increased time spent in the sun, can lead to an increase in the risks of developing malignant melanoma, a rarer but more deadly form of skin cancer.

These issues have precipitated various levels of disagreement within the academic community over the benefits and risks of sunscreen use. Most health authorities and medical associations have concluded that, on the whole, sunscreen use is beneficial.[1](Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –


S & R*NEWS ALERT*#1: Quick tips for a backyard and a furniture revival

“(NC) The on-set of mild weather expands our living space to the deck and patio throughout the summer months with backyard entertaining, relaxing weekends and sunset evenings. This is the time when flocks of people venture into their sheds to pull out lawn furniture for another season, only to find that winter dust, mildew and debris has left it looking less than pristine. Don’t let dingy lawn furniture shadow your patio entertaining. A thorough spring cleaning at the start of the season will make your outdoor space as beautiful as your indoor living space.

A thorough cleaning, however, doesn’t necessarily mean an all-day job. Innovative products to brighten up tired outdoor furniture are a homeowner’s best friend, say specialists in this field. One of those is a brand line called Thompson’s WaterSeal Oxy powered multi-surface cleaner. It is mild and safe to use, but effective. The biodegradable formula is a breeze for cleaning furniture, wood and composite decks, siding, vinyl awnings, concrete and masonry. Take a look at a few more tips to spruce up your outdoor space:

Rake out walkways, ditches and small spaces that have gathered old leaves, garbage and clear patios and overhangs of cobwebs and winter nests.

Till and add fresh mulch to flower beds and walkways to instantly increase your home’s curb appeal.

Clean windows, doors and outdoor coach lights to brighten up your home inside and out.

Restore your outdoor deck. The Thompson’s line includes a foaming-action oxy cleaner for this purpose and afterwards it suggests protecting the deck with the Advanced WaterSeal. Protect fabrics from water damage, stains and colour fading with this brand’s outdoor Fabric Seal.

Add some life to your outdoor space with hanging plants and floor planters for a pop of colour.”

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#2: Buy a honey bee charm to save the species

“(NC) Forget about owls and butterflies the hottest jewelery item this season is the honey bee charm. Even better, these particular trinkets help raise money for an important cause.

For the second year in a row, Canadian jewelry designer, Jenny Bird, has partnered with natural personal-care company, Burt’s Bees, to design a limited-edition collection. Proceeds go to the non-profit organization Pollinator Partnership Canada (PPC) with the goal of conserving bee health.

The collection consists of a bee-charm friendship bracelet and bee stud earrings. This year, Jenny Bird used black and gold (her signature combo) and for the bracelet, she incorporated cobalt blue given it’s a hot colour for the summer, and braided it onto a gold-plated chain.

I love it paired with the graphic black and white clothing we’re seeing flood the shelves this season stack the bracelet with your other everyday bracelets, she says.

On sale as of June 1, 2013, the Wild for Bees bracelet ($24 each) and earrings ($34 each) will be available in select Jenny Bird retailers and online at and, and 100% of the proceeds will go to PPC.”

*TM/© 2013 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on May 27th, 2013 Comments Off on SUNSCREEN & SWIM WEAR: Beach wear, swim / bathing suits, cover ups, etc.: I want you to look & feel your best!*

BREAST CANCER: symptoms, treatment, statistics, stages, etc. – I run to say that it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month!*

Vol. 3, No.27, Sunday, October 14, 2012

TITLE: “BREAST CANCER: symptoms, treatment, statistics, stages, etc. – I run to say that it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month!*”


October is “Breast Cancer Awareness Month”. This illness is one of the worst cancers for women.  My subject today is then Breast Cancer. My book of the week is “The Complete Natural Medicine Guide to Breast Cancer: A Practical Manual for Understanding, Prevention and Care” by Dr. Sat Dharam Kaur ND. (Editor’s Note: This is another of a series on holidays and special dates.) 


Me, myself and I: Every two years my doctor sends me for a mammogram screening.  It is important to get checked regularly.  Early detection could save your life. A few years ago, I was called back after one of my screenings.  I was told that one of the x-rays was not clear and needed to be redone.  Little did I know, that further evaluation of masses found on the mammography was being done with advanced equipment.  Fortunately, everything on the x-ray was normal.

Family & friends: One of my girlfriends had breast cancer and survived it.  The doctor found a lump in her breast and sent her for a mammogram screening.  She was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She had an operation and then chemotherapy.  Thankfully years later, she is healthy and cancer-free.

Research:  Although I’m not personally involved in fund raising, I always make a donation for breast cancer research.

THE AUTHOR: Sat Dharam Kaur, ND

Sat Dharam Kaur, ND is a naturopathic. In her practice, she  specializes in the prevention and treatment of breast cancer. She is an activist. Due to a worldwide reputation as a teacher (at her naturopathic college), she has been a featured speaker at The World Conferences on Breast Cancer. She also lectures on breast health.



Several are:

THE BOOK: The Complete Natural Medicine Guide to Breast Cancer: A Practical Manual for Understanding, Prevention and Care by Dr. Sat Dharam Kaur ND (Paperback – Feb 7 2004)

Dr. Sat Dharam Kaur ND understands the risk of developing breast cancer. She also recognizes that many women still have a limited knowledge of the causes of breast cancer and preferred measures to take in prevention. She wrote the book: The Complete Natural Medicine Guide to Breast Cancer. She bases her statements and recommendations upon the research studies and clinical evidence then available.

Some of the subjects covered are: (a) Comprehensive explanations for the causes of breast cancer — hereditary, hormonal, environmental; (b) Identifiable environmental risks; (c) Self help detoxification programs, diet plans and herbal recommendations; (d) Natural medicine strategies which complement conventional medical treatments and promote recovery; (e) Psychological support; etc.

She speaks of exercises. She includes worksheets for breast care – an example is The Breast Health Balance Sheet, an extensive questionnaire, which is an aid to determine risk factors.

Her tone is compassionate and  her style makes it easier to grasp the material.


We must beat this deadly disease. We are resolute …  we will get it done!

Personal Comments

I say:

  • That for me, the first step is not to smoke, eat healthy, drink in moderation, exercise and regularly have a breast examination.
  • That doctors are now recommending that a mother breast feed her infants.  This wasn’t the case when I had my babies.  Breast feeding may prevent breast cancer.  It makes sense to me as this is a natural way to feed an infant.
  • That fundraising is necessary in order to fund research. Scientists are so close but not yet there.  Finding a cure for breast cancer is so important. It could save millions of lives. 

The Point

We need to beat breast cancer. We must come together in order to get the word out …. so that every woman can learn about breast cancer and we will all pitch in with our dollars so that we may find the cure in our lifetime. Individually, we need to live healthy, become knowledgeable about this disease and make a donation.  


Every woman should:

  1. Help with fundraising:  marathons, bake sales, organize a benefit/Gala, etc .
  2. Do a self-examination weekly
  3. Get a mammogram screening regularly
  4. Give donations to Breast Cancer Organizations
  5. Help someone with breast cancer

Women need to address breast cancer at once … and each one of us must play a part! Yes, we can!*  

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”

PREVIEW (tentatively scheduled for Oct.22,2012): On Oct.31, 2012, it will be Halloween.  I will do an update of my post titled, “Halloween Party, Costumes, Games: I say boo!*- UPDATE 2012″ (Editor’s Note: This is another of a series on holidays and special dates first published on October 30th 2011 )

PREVIEW (now tentatively re-scheduled for November 2012): I was at the gym recently and a fellow was explaining to a young woman (a newbee at weights and workout machines) that discipline was essential if you want to get fit and in shape. It got me to thinking about (self-) discipline to being the key to success whatever the pursuit. Next week, I will upload a post on  discipline…as long as I stay disciplined enogh to write it!. Please come by to see if I managed to do it!

P.S. Big News: There are big changes FINALLY coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.

P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit –   saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit – Antoinette La Posta


-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved




S & R* QUOTE #1:
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth– and that we have no way of knowing when our own time is up –that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) –

S & R* QUOTE #2: Sir Julian Huxley

« There are two ways of living: a man may be casual and simply exist, or constructively and deliberately try to do so. The constructive idea implies a constructiveness not only about one’s own life, but about that of society, and the future possibilities of mankind. » (Source: Wisdom Quotes) –

S & R* QUOTE #3: Jonathan Swift

“May you live all the days of your life.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) -

For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “breast cancer”; “mammogram”

Breast Cancer

“Breast cancer is a type of cancer originating from breast tissue, most commonly from the inner lining of milk ducts or the lobules that supply the ducts with milk.[1](Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –


“Mammography is the process of using low-energy-X-rays (usually around 30 kVp) to examine the human breast and is used as a diagnostic and a screening tool. The goal of mammography is the early detection of breast cancer, typically through detection of characteristic masses and/or microcalcifications.” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia)


“Worldwide, breast cancer comprises 22.9% of all cancers (excluding non-melanoma skin cancers) in women.[5] In 2008, breast cancer caused 458,503 deaths worldwide (13.7% of cancer deaths in women).[5] Breast cancer is more than 100 times more common in women than in men, although men tend to have poorer outcomes due to delays in diagnosis.[6][7]

Prognosis and survival rates for breast cancer vary greatly depending on the cancer type, stage, treatment, and geographical location of the patient. Survival rates in the Western world are high;[6] for example, more than 8 out of 10 women (84%) in England diagnosed with breast cancer survive for at least 5 years.[8] In developing countries, however, survival rates are much poorer.

The first noticeable symptom of breast cancer is typically a lump that feels different from the rest of the breast tissue. More than 80% of breast cancer cases are discovered when the woman feels a lump.[9] The earliest breast cancers are detected by a mammogram.[10] Lumps found in lymph nodes located in the armpits[9] can also indicate breast cancer.

The primary risk factors for breast cancer are female sex and older age.[19] Other potential risk factors include: lack of childbearing or breastfeeding,[20] higher hormone levels,[21][22] diet and obesity.

Smoking tobacco appears to increase the risk of breast cancer with the greater the amount of smoked and the earlier in life smoking began the higher the risk.[23] In those who are long term smokers the risk is increased 35% to 50%.[23] A lack of physical activity has been linked to ~10% of cases.[24]

The World Cancer Research Fund indicated that women can reduce their risk of breast cancer by maintaining a healthy weight, drinking less alcohol, being physically active and breastfeeding their children.[63] These modifications might prevent 38% of breast cancers in the US, 42% in the UK, 28% in Brazil and 20% in China.[63] The benefits with moderate exercise such as brisk walking are seen at all age groups including postmenopausal women.[63][64]” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –


S & R*NEWS ALERT*#1: Mushrooms Go PINK in support of breast cancer research – Breast cancer, pink ribbons and mushrooms; what’s the connection?

“Fall 2012 – Breast cancer is the most common cancer in Canadian women. According to the Canadian Cancer Society, in 2010 an estimated 23,200 women were diagnosed with breast cancer, and sadly 5,300 will die of it. Breast cancer has touched most of our lives and we’ve all seen, firsthand, how devastating it can be, says Nick Pora, past President of Mushrooms Canada. Personally speaking, I watched my sister-in-law courageously battle breast cancer. It’s in everyone’s family or circles of friends, and that’s why I’m so proud that Canadian mushroom farmers and the Breast Cancer Society of Canada are working together again to raise research dollars. Mushrooms Go Pink From September 24th to November 10th, you will find fresh Canadian mushrooms packed in pink trays with a pink ribbon on the label, says Frank Moscone, President of Mushrooms Canada. For every pound of mushrooms sold in the pink packages, Canadian mushroom farmers will make a contribution to the Breast Cancer Society of Canada. Looking for other ways to help? Log onto Facebook and join the Mushrooms Go Pink group. For every person who joins the group on Facebook, Mushrooms Canada will donate $0.10, to a maximum of $5000.00, to the Breast Cancer Society of Canada. In 2010 and 2011, mushroom growers contributed over $120,000 to the BCSC based on a $0.01 per lb. of fresh mushrooms packaged in Pink Tills. The Breast Cancer Society of Canada is absolutely thrilled to once again be part of Mushrooms Go PINK. We look forward to a successful 2011 – Dawn Hamilton, Fund Development Coordinator for BCSC.

The Power of Mushrooms What exactly is the connection between mushrooms and breast cancer? Reports by Dr. Shiuan Chen of the City of Hope Cancer Centre in Los Angeles state that fresh mushrooms may have anti-tumour properties. Mushrooms contain Conjugated Linoleic Acid; and CLA suppresses a natural substance in the body called aromatase. By blocking aromatase, physicians can reduce the levels of circulating estrogen in post-menopausal women. That is important because, according to the Canadian Cancer Society, high levels of estrogen are associated with a higher risk of breast cancer. Diet is a key consideration for disease prevention because it is something that everyone can control, says Dr. Chen. Our research shows that women may benefit from a balanced diet, which includes about 3.5 ounces of mushrooms per day. White button, portabella, crimini and shiitake mushrooms showed significant inhibitory effects with large mushrooms having the strongest activity.

Fresh Mushrooms Good for Life Even though they look simple, mushrooms have a whole lot going for them in the nutrition department. A great way to add some tasty nutrients to everyday meals is to include fresh mushrooms. One hundred grams (100 g) of fresh mushrooms count as 1 serving of Fruits & Vegetables. Mushrooms are also low in calories, carbs and fat, they provide vitamins, minerals, fibre, antioxidants, and are the only vegetable with Vitamin D. Not to mention they have no cholesterol or sodium. For more information on breast cancer & mushrooms, nutrition tips, and delicious recipes visit”

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#2: Turn fall festivities into a fundraiser

“Fall is an ideal time to get back to cooking comfort foods, reconnecting with loved ones after summer trips and appreciating the beauty the season has to offer. Fall is the perfect opportunity to host a gathering, and since October is breast cancer awareness month why not support a great cause while you do it host a Cook for the Cure party. Whether it’s an intimate candlelit dinner or full-fledged family affair – here are a few tips to get your party started:

1. Host a party for a cause October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and a great time to turn entertaining into fundraising by hosting a Cook for the Cure party. Cook for the Cure, presented by KitchenAid asks guests to make a donation to the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation in place of a traditional hostess gift. The size of the donation is up to your guests. Register your party at and KitchenAid Canada will donate $50 to help the cause. All proceeds support research, education, community care, and advocacy to create a future without breast cancer.

2. Pick your theme A festive theme sets your fête apart. Whether you go classic autumn with rich colours or stick to a monochromatic look, once you determine the look the rest of the party will fall into place. Add fun touches like placing planters and urns outside to welcome guests and kick the party off on the right foot. Whether you go with casual or formal, trendy or traditional, a festive theme will help bring your seasonal party to life.

3. Set the mood Music sets the tone of the event. Spend time crafting the perfect playlist to put your guests in the party spirit.

4. Make it personal From customized drink skewers to personalized place cards, dress up your party with thoughtful details that leave a lasting impression. Mini pumpkins and gourds will add a pop of colour to your table. Write guests’ names on business card sized pieces of paper and attach with a pushpin and you’ll have place cards that serve double duty as a takeaway after the dinner.

More information is online at and at”

*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on October 14th, 2012 2 Comments

“HONOUR/HONOR KILLING: Regardless how you spell it, I say that it is murder; and it must stop!*”

S & R* NEWS* – Sunday, August 7th, 2011: SPECIAL EDITION – Open letter from Antoinette

Dear Readers,
I took a few weeks off. I am back into the groove.  I will now upload, nearly every Sunday, my weekly blog post; and some weeks, I will also offer a new recipe under my Kitchen banner. In addition, look for my hospitality reviews: travel, restaurants, hotels/motels , etc.    
We at Save and Read* S & R* are well into our second year and are moving forward. We’re making some changes. In a few weeks, you will see an improved home page and much more. Our on-line space will have an improved format and increased opportunities to do more.  
Finally, I wish to announce that we shall turn our attention to our social network platforms. Get in on the fun. My TWITTER page is located at:  saveandread – please register as a follower. My FACEBOOK page – it is located at: Alp Save Andread – please check it out and join in.

That’s all for now.
Have a great week.
Yours truly,

Vol. 2,  No. 12, August 7th, 2011
TITLE: “HONOUR/HONOR KILLING: Regardless how you spell it, I say that it is murder; and it must stop!*”
Last time, I said: “I can’t comprehend why anyone would murder a child.  When it comes to a parent killing his or her child, I am dumbfounded. …This is so very wrong!” Today, I am looking at so-called “honor killing”. It starts with a prospective wife looked upon as property. It involves an exaggerated sense of family from which erupts a false right to retribution. It relates to spousal control and abuse. All of this adds up to the crime of murder. My book of the week is “Murder in the Name of Honor” [Hardcover] by Rana Husseini.  
(Editor’s Note:  This week is the second of a series on parent murderers. My current blog post below is about parent (or in-laws) killing adult daughters/daughters-in-law.)
PREVIEW: Next week, I will continue the theme and write about gender and outrageous occurrences. Look for it! See you then.
Honor killing has not touched me personally. However, it has struck close to home.  A long time ago, I heard a horrifying story.  A beautiful, young lady had been found brutally murdered in my town.  She had been killed, her face badly disfigured and left in a toilet stall in a nearby picnic park. Apparently, it was an arranged marriage. She wanted a divorce, but he was a violent controlling husband. We heard on the news that they suspected him, but the authorities didn’t have enough proof.  Still today, when I drive by the park late in the evening, I get the shivers remembering this story. I also take notice of news reporting on honor killings. It affects me greatly.
In 1979, a city employee named Dan White went on a rampage and killed San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk in City Hall. During the ensuing murder trial, White’s attorney, Douglas Schmidt, presented a remarkable defense: His client’s behavior had been caused by an overdose – of Twinkies! Psychiatrist Martin Blinder testified that White had eaten so many Twinkies that their high sugar content had resulted in sufficiently “diminished mental capacity” to account for the killings. The verdict? To the dismay of the prosecution, the jury agreed and convicted White of the lesser charge of voluntary manslaughter.
(Source: –
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Honor System
In a bid to promote Raoul Walsh’s 1917 prison drama The Honor System, producers arranged for a practical demonstration of the Honour System in action, with a prisoner being released for a single day on his honour to return. The prisoner promptly disappeared and was never seen again.
(Source: –
S & R* QUOTE #1: Joseph Campbell
“When you make the sacrifice in marriage, you’re sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) –
S & R* QUOTE #2: Julia Child
“The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all of the time.”
(Source:  Wisdom Quotes) –
S & R* QUOTE #3: Susan Faludi
“The modern fairy tale ending is the reverse of the traditional one: A woman does not wait for Prince Charming to bring her happiness; she lives happily ever after only by refusing to wait for him — or by actually rejecting him. It is those who persist in hoping for a Prince Charming who are setting themselves up for disillusionment and unhappiness.”
(Source:  Wisdom Quotes) –
S & R* QUOTE #4: Hina Jilani, Pakistani lawyer and women’s rights activist
“The right to life of women … is conditional on their obeying social norms and traditions.”
(Source:Stop Honour Killings) –
S & R* QUOTE #5: Female, aged 30, interviewed in Şanlıurfa, Turkey
“If one surrenders, then she is honorable; if you don’t comply with, if you argue back, if you commit suicide, if you risk death to get married with the one you love, then you are dishonorable…If you have a free soul, you cannot be honorable…”
(Source:Stop Honour Killings) –
S & R* QUOTE #6: Sirhan, age 35, interviewed in ABC documentary The Lost Honor of Sirhan after serving a six month sentence in Jordan for killing his sister who had fallen victim to rape, 2003
“I would rather die than lose my honour…Our whole life is founded on honour. If we lose it, we have no life, we become swine. If we lose our honour, we are just like swine. We’re no better than animals.”
(Source:Stop Honour Killings) –
THE AUTHOR: Rana Husseini
Rana Husseini is quite a lady. I admire her. She received her Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in journalism from Oklahoma City University.  She went on to become a crime/senior reporter at The Jordan Times. As a journalist, she has won numerous awards: The 1995 MEDNEWS prize award for best article “Murder in the name of honour,” the Reebok Human Rights Award in 1998, the Human Rights Watch Award in 2000 for being part of the National Jordanian Committee to Eliminate Crimes of Honour and the Ida B. Wells award in 2003 for Bravery in Journalism. In 1998, she was awarded the Reebok Human Rights Award for her journalism and activism, prompting international media and NGO attention.  She received a medal from the Jordanian Parliament. She is an advisor to the U.S. government funded human rights organisation Freedom House.
The day that changed her life was when she heard the story of a young girl whose family had brutally murdered her.  In an interview with PBS, she declared: “In the name of honor, a sixteen-year-old girl was killed by her family because she was raped by her brother. He assaulted her several times and then threatened to kill her if she told anyone. When she discovered that she was pregnant she had to tell her family. After the family arranged an abortion, they married her off to a man fifty years her senior. When he divorced her six months later, her family murdered her.”
Intent on calling attention to so-called ‘honor’ crimes against women, she started reporting every single “honor killing” in Jordan. She quickly recognized that they happened too often and yet the perpetrators were insufficiently punished. She wanted change. Since 1994, as a human rights activist, she used her writings to raise people’s consciousness on this issue.
she lobbied against “honor killings”. In 1998, she joined the Jordanian National Committee to Eliminate So-Called “Crimes of Honor.”  She was behind a campaign for legal reform:  She was intent on rallying the population to sign a petition seeking a change of Jordanian law, imposing stronger penalties for crimes such as these.  King Abdullah II’s half-brother, Prince Ali, was a supporter.  So were Queen Rania, Queen Noor, and King Abdullah. She led a massive march of 5,000 protestors in front of the Jordanian parliament. Recognized as a leading authority on honor killings, she continues her activism and reporting at the Jordan Times, and she published a book, “Murder in the Name of Honor”.
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – )
Books, Papers & Articles  
*Jordanian Journalists: Rami George Khouri, Fouad Hussein, Sharif Hikmat Nashashibi, Massoud Derhally, Rana Husseini, Montaser Marai by LLC Books (Paperback – Sep 2010)
Works:Husseini reports and books
* “A comparative study of the reform work conducted in Asia and Europe to combat violence and ‘so-called’ honour murders.” (research paper, included in the book “Honour, Violence, Women and Islam”, Routledge, Edited by Mohammad Mazhar Idriss and Tahir Abbas, 2010.
*Jordan’s country report that was included in Freedom House’s survey on “Women’s Rights in the Middle East and North Africa 2010”
*Jordan’s Country Report that was included in the American Islamic Congress’s 2010 publication “A Modern Narrative for Muslim Women in the Middle East.”
(Source: Rana Husseini) –
THE BOOK: “Murder in the Name of Honor” by Rana Husseini (Author)

In this book, Husseini examines the so-called “honor crimes”, particularly, “honor killing”.  Women everywhere must pay attention: this is an important book!  The Introduction begins as follows: “Imagine your sister or daughter being killed for chewing gum, for laughing at a joke in the street, for wearing make-up or a short skirt, for choosing her own boyfriend/husband or becoming pregnant. This is what happens to five thousand women who are murdered each year in the name of honour; that’s thirteen women every day. It is very likely that the figure, calculatd by the UN in 2000, is a gross underestimate. …”   Jane Fonda wrote a foreward. In Chapter 1, Husseini wrote:
“Kifaya’s crime was to have allowed herself to be raped by her older brother, Mohammed. She had then been forced to by her family to abort and then to marry a man thirty-four years her senior whom she had divorced after six miserable months… She had shamed her family. There was only one solution. Khalid held a glass to Kifaya’s lips …..,he asked her to recite verses from the Quaran and picked up a knife.  Kifaya begged for mercy. Outside the neighbours heard, but did nothing. She started to scream….”  
Husseini’s words are informative, provocative and haunting.  Read and weep. Open your eyes to this terrible catastrophy suffered upon women. Raise your voice and be part of the opposition. Empowering your sisters over there will help you over here.  Help eradicate this scourge.
In certain cultures, arranged marriages are the norm. Mothers and fathers do it easily – they probably were probably married off in the same way.  I am also told that according to certain religious zealots, it is alright for a freshly-married husband to be controlling and keep his new wife in line. If she objects or mis-behaves, her husband can render punishment or do even worse.
So-called “honor killing” starts with a family perceiving an offence against the family. Members think that they have been victimized. As a result, they feel themselves entitled to restore its honor. Usually a relative does the deed. In some instances, parents of the husband are suspected to be involved in this practice. There are even cases where the wife’s mother and father or siblings, avenge the perceived wrongs. The ‘punishment’ is death or horrific disfigurement. The family thinks it has personal and urgent business; and it is entitled to be a vigilante out for quick justice.  The family is all-in-one: the police, prosecutor, judge and jury and also the executioner.
It’s unbelievable that this barbarity continues to this day. It occurs in many societies all over the world – these are looked upon as ‘traditional’. They also happen in ethnic communities throughout Europe and in North America. It has been said that these people are living out a cultural belief, instilled in them through their early years. – that’s no excuse.  It has been said that these people are mentally ill – that’s is no excuse. These people are committing murder. They are just guilty of a high crime.

Personal Comments

If mothers everywhere teach their sons to mind their manners and not fight with girls and adolescent boys are told to act like gentlemen,  I therefore ask:  “How do men abuse women and kill them?” I guess some women teach their young male offspring differently.  
Girls will be girls – they want to have fun. Modern young women want life, starting with equal education, liberty to be themselves and freedom to pursue happiness. They see that in the West, young ladies can and do marry out of love. 
Girl speak: I am old- fashioned, I think that men should respect women. It brings to mind the song, “Treat her like a lady”, performed by the Temptations. The lyrics start like this:   
                                    “Now I’m the kinda guy who don’t believe
                                     That chivalry is dead, no
                                     ‘Cause I believe a woman should be treated
                                     With the utmost respect, mmm… hmm…”

I can’t image arranging a marriage for my daughter.  A grown up daughter should make her own decisions. Choosing a husband is her perogative. If asked, I will give advice, but that’s as far as I will go. In my culture, some parents give their daughters a trousseau – household products, kitchen utensils, etc., but this does not mean that I have the right to tell her what to do. 

Seeing my daughter happily married makes me happy. When they’re suffering, I suffer too.  If you feel your daughter is marrying the wrong man, advising her is fine, but to force her into a marriage of your choice is wrong.
The Point
There is absolutely no justification for “honor killings”. These are savage acts.  In many instances, the husband is a monster who must be severely punished. Sometimes, a father, brother and even a mother, is sympathetic and involved. It sickens me to think that in some parts of the world, this is not only accepted, but expected.  This must stop now!
1. Recognize that a parent or in-law does not own a daughter or daughter-in-law;
2. Teach your daughter that they have all of the rights in the world, entitled to be respected and be free of abuse and harm – sometimes a young lady needs to hear this.
3. Lose the perception that it is up to a mother or father to arrange a marriage even if it was culturally acceptable in years past! 
4. Love your daughter unconditionally and respect the choice she makes in choosing her husband;
5. Report anyone you think may be in danger of abuse or conjugal violence – this could lead to “honor killing”; it must be brought to the attention of the authorities.
6. Show some real honor…finally – stop these vile acts against women.   

I am woman and along with all of you out there, we can make a difference. Let’s do it!

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
P.S. I wish to remind you that I have a TWITTER page – it is located at:  saveandread – please register as a follower.

P.P.S. I also have a FACEBOOK page – it is located at: Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:
The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “Dowry”; “Honor Killing”; “”,”,  “”; etc.
Honor killing
An honor killing or honour killing[1] is the killing of a member of a family or social group by other members, due to the belief of the perpetrators (and potentially the wider community) that the victim has brought dishonor upon the family or community. Honour killings are directed mostly against women and girls.
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – )
A dowry (also known as trousseau or tocher or, in Latin, dos) is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings forth to the marriage.[1][2] It contrasts with bride price, which is paid to the bride’s parents, and dower, which is property settled on the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage. The same culture may simultaneously practice both dowry and bride price. Dowry is an ancient custom, and its existence may well predate records of it.
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –
S & R* BONUS FACT* #1:  Honour killing 
Honour killings are directed mostly against women and girls. But in the past few decades this has extended to the men also. Especially to the lover or boyfriend of the victim of the honor killing. This trend is so common now a days that no honor killing is considered complete until both the male and female perpetrators are murdered, often brutally. In some recent cases, surprisingly the women were pardoned because they accepted the fact that the women were influenced by the male or men in the relation. In such cases the men were forced to violent and painful death by the community thus involved in. Honor killing has more to do with the sense of pride and ego. Since most of the families involved in such crimes are backed up by their community or locality, it often become impossible for the investigation agencies and police to act against them. Murder of people of Foreign Origin under Honor-Killing is also very well documented. Generally they receive the most cruel and harsh treatment if they are found to violate the sanctity of a Indian woman.The perceived dishonor is normally the result of one of the following behaviors, or the suspicion of such behaviors: (a) dressing in a manner unacceptable to the family or community, (b) wanting to terminate or prevent an arranged marriage or desiring to marry by own choice, (c) engaging in heterosexual sexual acts outside marriage, or even due to a non-sexual relationship perceived as inappropriate, and (d) engaging in homosexual acts (e)Trying to break up an already ceremony accepted Marriage, (f)Having relationship with someone else than the spouse. Women and Men are killed at a almost the same number. But the method of death punishment for the men are often very cruel, chilling and disturbing. Some of these involves removing the sexual organ of the man, putting acid in his eyes and private parts, burning him to a slow death by putting a burning car Tyre over his head, throat slitting by a blunt object and being beaten to death by wooden instruments and stones. Women are generally strangulated or shot.The United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) estimates that perhaps as many as 5,000 women and girls a year are killed by members of their own families.[2] Many women’s groups in the Middle East and Southwest Asia suspect the victims are at least four times more.[3]
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –
S & R* BONUS FACT* #2:  Honor killing 
Sharif Kanaana, professor of anthropology at Birzeit University, says that honor killing is: A complicated issue that cuts deep into the history of Arab society. .. What the men of the family, clan, or tribe seek control of in a patrilineal society is reproductive power. Women for the tribe were considered a factory for making men. The honour killing is not a means to control sexual power or behavior. What’s behind it is the issue of fertility, or reproductive power.[67] An Amnesty International statement adds:The regime of honor is unforgiving: women on whom suspicion has fallen are not given an opportunity to defend themselves, and family members have no socially acceptable alternative but to remove the stain on their honor by attacking the woman.[68]The lawyer and human rights activist Hina Jilani says, “The right to life of women in Pakistan is conditional on their obeying social norms and traditions.[69] Nighat Taufeeq of the women’s resource center Shirkatgah (Lahore, Pakistan) says: “It is an unholy alliance that works against women: the killers take pride in what they have done, the tribal leaders condone the act and protect the killers and the police connive the cover-up.”[70] A July 2008 Turkish study by a team from Dicle University on honor killings in the Southeastern Anatolia Region, the predominantly Kurdish area of Turkey, has so far shown that little if any social stigma is attached to honor killing. It also comments that the practise is not related to a feudal societal structure, “there are also perpetrators who are well-educated university graduates. Of all those surveyed, 60 percent are either high school or university graduates or at the very least, literate.”[71]
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –
S & R* BONUS FACT * #3: About ICAHK
The International Campaign Against Honour Killing is a project started by Diana Nammi Director and Founder of London-based charity IKWRO which provides support and protection to women faced with ‘honour’-based violence and forced marriage. The project was established in the aftermath of the murder of Heshu Yones, in a climate of growing awareness of ‘honour’ as an factor in women’s subordination. It was out of this awareness, and the understanding that ‘honour’-based violence, and oppression against women justified in the name of ‘honour’ are widespread, and not confined to any particular group, that the movement towards an international project, to inform journalists, academics and the general public and provide a platform for activists to discuss their methods, opinions and experiences, and to share their campaigns within a community.
ICAHK is a secular organisation which stands for the universality of human rights.
(Source:Stop Honour Killings) –
STUDY/STATISTICS: 8,000 acts of violence against women reported in 2010 By Joanne – Posted on 06 July 2011
Over 8,000 incidents of violence against women were reported last year, says a report released by a non-governmental organization working for women rights.
The Aurat Foundation released its annual report on violence against women in Pakistan 2010 on Tuesday at a local hotel.
The report reveals that around 2,236 women were abducted, 1,436 were murdered, 928 were raped or gang-raped, 633 committed suicide, 557 were killed in incidents of honor killing, 32 women became victims to acid throwing, 38 were burnt and 486 were subjected to domestic violence. Also, 1,580 miscellaneous cases of violence against women were reported in the country.
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: Help to make girls unstoppable
For many young girls, being a teenager means opening up to new opportunities and taking on bigger responsibilities. But within this personal growth, stressors and beauty pressures can negatively affect a young woman’s confidence, social interactions and term self-esteem. The Real Truth About Beauty research conducted by Dove found that by the age of 14, more than half (55%) of Canadian girls already feel pressure to be beautiful, with the number growing to 96% by the time they turn 29.As startling as the figures are, the research also shed light on solutions to help ease beauty pressures during the teen years, and the answer begins with positive role models. Confident female mentors for young girls to look up to make a significant impact on boosting  self-esteem and help them reach their full personal potential in life. By intervening early on, we can help young girls address their sources of beauty anxiety that mount between their teen years and early adulthood, says counsellor and self-esteem expert, Lisa Naylor. Most women have the power to help young girls develop positive self-esteem and realize their full potential.There are many ways that you can help to make girls unstoppable:Lead by example. As a confident woman with life experience, you are a realistic depiction to young girls of what seizing opportunities and being happy in your own skin can achieve.
Make some time. Bring a young girl that you want to inspire out for lunch.
Make time to talk with her so you can understand how she’s feeling and let her know that she is important.
Pass it on. Attend or host a self-esteem workshop with a girl in your life and her group of friends to boost their confidence and reinforce positive behaviour within the social circle. You can find everything you need to host your own workshop in easy to follow steps at
Make it count. Pledge to support self-esteem in young girls by joining the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem at
*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on August 7th, 2011 Comments Off on “HONOUR/HONOR KILLING: Regardless how you spell it, I say that it is murder; and it must stop!*”

“PARENT KILL CHILD / CHILDREN: I object to killers going free!*”

Vol. 2,  No. 11, July 17, 2011

TITLE: “PARENT KILL CHILD/CHILDREN: I object to killers going free!*”

I can’t comprehend why anyone would murder a child.  When it comes to a parent killing his or her child, I am dumbfounded. The facts of the case of Casey Anthony sickened me. The verdict was highly unsatisfactory. Caylee Marie is dead and  Casey was today set free, This is so very wrong! I came across “The Atlanta Child Murders: the Night Stalker” (Paperback) by Jack Mallard (Author). It is my book of the week. Hence, my topic is a murderer of the child kind. (Editor’s Note: This is the first of a series on parents killing children.)  

My daughters were God sent for me.  I always felt fortunate to have two healthy, beautiful daughters.  My priority was my daughters – their well-being, their safety and health, their education, their comfort … anything that concerned them.  They are my sun, moon and stars. For them and all of the other beautiful darlings out there, I want to shine the light of day on the horrific subject of the killing of  babies and youngsters.

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Dodgy Defense
Ben Jonson was known for his fiery temper. “There is no arguing with Johnson,” Oliver Goldsmith once remarked, “for when his pistol misses fire, he knocks you down with the butt end of it.” While working as an actor and playwright in 1598, Jonson killed a fellow thespian in a duel. He was tried for murder, defended himself, and managed to escape the gallows. How? By forfeiting all of his worldly goods and chattels, proving that he could read and write – and pleading “benefit of clergy.”
[Sources: Isaac Asimov’s Book of Facts]
(Source: –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Spaghetti-O’s
In March 1995 Thomas J. Grasso was executed by lethal injection for his role in the murder of an elderly Tulsa woman. His last words? “I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.”
[James French was electrocuted in Oklahoma in 1966. His last words? “How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? French fries!” … George Appel was electrocuted in New York in 1928. His last words? “Well, gentlemen, you are about to see a baked Appel!”]
Grasso, Thomas J. (?-1995) American murderer
[Sources:; Sunday Times, Nov. 2003]
(Source: –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Victor Feuger’s Final Meal
Shortly before his execution for kidnapping and murder, Victor Feuger requested his final meal: “An olive, with a pit.” Feuger’s hope, he said, was for an oilve tree (which symbolizes peace) to sprout from his grave.
Feuger, Victor (?-1963) American murderer
(Source: –

S & R* QUOTE #1: – Martin Luther King, Jr.
He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) –

S & R* QUOTE #2: Buddha
All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?
(Source:  Wisdom Quotes) –

S & R* QUOTE #3: Letty Cottin Pogrebin
If family violence teaches children that might makes right at home, how will we hope to cure the futile impulse to solve worldly conflicts with force?
(Source:  Wisdom Quotes) –

THE AUTHOR: Jack Mallard
When it comes to American (penal) law, Jack Mallard is the real deal. After serving in the Air Force, he worked as a clerk and CI for the Fulton County Solicitor General. He graduated in law from Woodrow Wilson College and passed the Georgia State Bar in 1966.
He was appointed and served as an Assistant District Attorney in Fulton County, later as Chief Assistant District Attorney in Cobb County, and Special Prosecutor in Forsyth County during the period 1967-2007. He prosecuted felony cases: assault, kidnapping, rape, arson, burglary, robbery, theft, capital murder, etc. The ‘Missing and Murdered Children’s Cases of Atlanta’ took place during the years, 1979-1981.  Wayne Bertram Williams was arrested. Mallard led a team versed in forensics and science and secured a conviction. (The Williams’ trial was recognized in “American Trials of the 20th Century” by Edward W. Knappman, Editor.)  He is now retired in his home state of Georgia.

THE BOOK: “The Atlanta Child Murders: the Night Stalker” (Paperback) by Jack Mallard (Author)
This was no everyday story in the city. There was a serial killer, trolling for children and young people of the ”street.’ There were children fearful of going outdoors and being grabbed. The spree went on for two years – 28 people lost their lives. This was the case of the Atlanta ”Night Stalker’. Wayne Williams was the accused child killer. There was a nine-week trial, plus 25 years of appeals. Mallard was not “embedded” along with the prosecution team – he led it as lead prosecutor . He lived the trial from the inside.  He wrote the book.
There are some answers; but questions remain.  I still don’t understand. I probably never will!  

A person who murders an infant or child is bad. A parent who kills his or her own child is worse. They should be thrown in jail and the key thrown away… the bigger the haystack or the deeper the bay …the better!   

Personal Comments
An infant is a bundle of joy…so little and defenceless. A child is so innocent …so very … very precious. He or she can do no wrong. No child deserves to be assaulted or abused. For a child, a parent is someone that they can be trusted and expect protection from.  To fear your own parents is very disturbing to a child.  He or she is deserving of all the love and attention that a parent can give. Parenting is one of the most difficult and the most rewarding jobs a person can have.  How can a parent hurt or mistreat a child?  The thought makes me furious.  Parents who kill children view them as their property – to do with as they wish with them.  Most parents, who kill their kids, have an inability to feel remorse or empathy and fail to accept responsibly. There should be zero tolerance and no excuses for the killing of children. A parent that ends the life of their own child is evil and should be punished. Mental illness is the only condition that could be considered by a jury.   But, being depressed or angry at your spouse does not qualify as being mentally ill.

The Point
Babies are gifts from heaven.  These blessings grow into children. They must always be protected by parents, all members of society and by the State. 

Everyone should:

1. Love the child, whoever he or she is;

2. Protect the children – this is the duty of a parent and every other person;
3. Don’t wait – intervene straight away…stop the harm;

4.  Report immediately, any abuse or violent behavior towards a child;

5. Petition your lawmakers to make harsher laws against offenders;

Let’s stand on guard on for each and every baby and child; it’s all of our business!  

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *


“Books are life; and they make life better!*”


-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

For today, my word/phrase(s) are: Child Abuse, Child Murder,`“Filicide”; “Honor Killing”; etc.

Child Abuse
Child abuse is the physical or psychological/emotional mistreatment of children. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.[6] Most child abuse occurs in a child’s home, with a smaller amount occurring in the organizations, schools or communities the child interacts with. There are four major categories of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, psychological/emotional abuse, and sexual abuse.
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

Child Murder
The murder of children is considered an abhorrent crime in the entire World; they are perceived within their communities and the state at large as being vulnerable, and therefore especially susceptible to abduction and murder. The protection of children from abuse and possible death often involves disturbing the child’s family structure, as tenuous as this may be. In 2008, there were 1,494 child (under 18 years) homicides in the United States. Of those killed 1,035 were male, while 453 were female, .[1]
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

Filicide is the deliberate act of a parent killing his or her own son or daughter. The word filicide derives from the Latin words filius meaning “son” or filia meaning daughter and the suffix -cide meaning to kill, murder, or cause death. “A filicide” may refer to the parent who killed his or her child as well as to the criminal act that the parent committed.
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

S & R* BONUS FACT #1:Parenting News: Canadian moms combine their mother’s advice with research

Does it take a village to raise a child? Think mother knows best? The answer is both. According to a recent survey, 81% of Canadian moms say that when it comes to raising their children, they apply a combination of their mother’s advice with their own research and personal judgment. The study was commissioned on behalf of, a new online community for moms which combines expert advice, support and tips for women from the prenatal stage through the first few crucial years of motherhood.The mother of all surveys:When asked if they accept advice from their mother, Canadian moms responded: Yes mother knows best! I ask my mother for advice and accept unsolicited advice from her often (12%).Sometimes I listen to my mother’s advice but I also do my research and trust my own judgment (81%).No I don’t listen to my mother’s advice and I find it irritating when she imparts judgment and advice (4%). Canadian moms are savvier than ever, combining old world wisdom with new technology. While it’s natural to listen to their mother’s advice, our research has shown moms are doing their own research to make informed decisions they can feel confident about, says Helen Kargas, senior brand manager at Playtex Infant.
(Source) – More information can be found at

1999 US Department of Justice study: Filicide
A 1999 US Department of Justice study concluded that between 1976 and 1997 in the United States, mothers were responsible for a higher share of children killed during infancy while fathers were more likely to have been responsible for the murders of children age 8 or older.[1] Furthermore, 52% of the children killed by their mothers were male (maternal filicide), while 57% of the children killed by their fathers were male (paternal filicide). 61% of children murdered under the age of five were murdered by their parents; filicide is the third leading cause of death amongst American children five to fourteen years old.[2]
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

Statistics: Child killed by babysitter
Characteristic                                   2000              2005             2006          2007
Murders, total. . . .                         13,230            14,965          15,087       14,831
Child killed by babysitter . . . . . . . .       30                  26                27             34
(Source: U.S. Census Bureau) –

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: Death of Caylee Anthony
The disappearance and death of Caylee Anthony, a young child from Orlando, Florida, received significant media attention in the United States. The subsequent trial of her mother, Casey Anthony, on charges of murder drew even greater coverage in national and social media.

Caylee Marie Anthony (born August 9, 2005)[1] was last seen with her mother on June 16, 2008 and was reported missing by her grandmother, Cindy Anthony, on July 18, 2008.[2] Her skeletal remains were discovered in a wooded area near the family home on December 11, 2008. Casey Anthony was indicted on charges of first degree murder and plead not guilty. The prosecution sought the death penalty and the trial lasted for six weeks. On July 5, 2011, the jury found Casey Anthony not guilty of murder, aggravated child abuse, and aggravated manslaughter of a child, but guilty of four misdemeanor counts of providing false information to a law enforcement officer. Anthony received a sentence of one year in jail and a $1,000 fine for each count. With credit for time served and good behavior, she was released on July 17, 2011 at 12:10 AM.[3][4][5]

In the United States, the case was called “one of the biggest ratings draws in recent memory” and “the social media trial of the century”.[6][7] Defense counsel charged that Anthony was being tried in the media to her great detriment while she was facing the death penalty.[8] The case has been cited as an example of the unfairness of prejudicial pretrial publicity with the potential for impacting the rights of defendants in the United States.[9][10][11]

On July 5, 2011, the jury found Casey Anthony not guilty of first-degree murder, aggravated manslaughter, and aggravated child abuse, but guilty on four misdemeanor counts of providing false information to a law enforcement officer.[74] On July 7, 2011, Anthony was sentenced to one year in jail and $1,000 in fines for each of the four counts of providing false information to a law enforcement officer, the maximum penalty prescribed by law. The defense asked that the sentences be served concurrently, on the grounds that the offenses occurred as part of a single interview with police dealing with the same matter, the disappearance of her daughter. The judge found that they were “four distinct, separate lies” and ruled that the sentences would be served consecutively, noting “Law enforcement expended a great deal of time, energy and manpower looking for Caylee Marie Anthony. This search went on from July through December, over several months, trying to find Caylee Marie Anthony.”[75][76][77]
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Keep Your Children Safe
(NC)—2011 is Canada’s Year of Road Safety so why not re–think road safety to keep your children as safe as possible?

Make sure your children are in the right stage of child restraint, the seat is installed correctly and the child is buckled up correctly.
Child seat installation tips
• Use the child seat instructions, and vehicle owner’s manual to help install the child seat. Make sure that all features of the child seat are adjusted as per the instructions.
• Once the child seat is installed, check that it’s secured. Grab the seat where the belts attach it to the vehicle. It should not move more than 2.5 cm (1 inch) in any direction.
Buckle up your child
• Front and rear facing child seats – Using the child seat instructions, make sure the harnesses are tightened so that they are snug on the child’s body.
• Boosters and seat belts – When using the vehicle seat belt, with or without a booster, the seat belt should sit on the hips (not on the stomach), and rest on the shoulder (not on the neck or off the shoulder). If the seat belt will not sit on the child correctly, then they may be in the wrong stage from the chart below.
Search “Keep Kids Safe” on the Transport Canada website,, for advice from experts on how to install child restraints safely and securely, and how to ensure your child is buckled up properly.
*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on July 17th, 2011 Comments Off on “PARENT KILL CHILD / CHILDREN: I object to killers going free!*”

“DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & CONJUGAL ABUSE: I earnestly want to arrest this terrible scourge!*”

Vol. 1,  No. 42, April 10, 2011

TITLE: “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & CONJUGAL ABUSE: I earnestly want to arrest this terrible scourge!*”


Domestic violence is very destructive. It could even get to the point of the commission of murder.  Conjugal abuse causes great suffering. My book of the week is “The Burning Bed” by Faith McNulty.  Hence,  today’s topic is domestic violence and conjugal abuse. 


I feel I know the women who are battered.  I’ve heard some say or “If only I hadn’t said that” or “If only I hadn’t done that”. They aren’t ready to leave. I empathize. I truly feel for them.

Here are several stories – “Domestic Violence Personal Stories.”

1. Linda

“My name is Linda and I started having a bad life at 18. I met what I thought was a wonderful man. He was one of my bosses from work. He was so kind to me at fist. We would spend lovely times together just having fun. I seemed important to him; at least I thought I was.

The hitting became beatings almost every day. Even though I was pregnant, he did not care. He said, “If you were a good girl I wouldn’t have to discipline you so much.” I hated hearing that. Be a good girl- that was screwed up ya’ know?”

2. I Am A Survivor: Eddie’s gal

“In the summer of 1996, I met a guy and we knew each other for about three weeks, and then he moved in with my son and I. And he was good to my son and I, he bought me cards and flowers every day and this went on for three months. One day I went to the grocery store and I had been gone about an hour and when I got home Eddie was furious with me. Eddie slammed me down on the couch, causing me to hit my head on the piano.”

3. Wife of scary guy

“I was married to a man who did everything in his power to hurt me mentally, financially, physically, and sexually. I was with him for 13 years, and he was a great husband until the last couple of years. He changed.
I educated myself, and started a business, and he tried everything to stop me. It seemed the better I did business wise, the more controlling he became.

He started not paying bills. Withholding sex. Ignoring me. Calling me names. One night woke up to him yelling at me at 3 am. He had a knife hanging in the bedroom, with a 10″ blade. I woke several night to being hit, he tried to say he was sleeping, and didn’t know he was doing it. He scared me.”

4. Wife/target of Gunny 

“I saw the gun my husband was holding as he stood in the door way of our kitchen. After years of being intimidated to stay in the abusive relationship, I thought to myself “not this time, gun or no gun”. I defiantly turned my back to him and his AK-47, and walked toward the backdoor that was in the kitchen. Something in my head asked “where is the phone?” I looked up and saw the cordless phone in it’s cradle on the kitchen wall. It was a millisecond later that I smelled gunpowder and heard a pop. I caught myself on the kitchen table with my right hand while my left hand was holding my side actually trying to realize that I had been shot.”
(Source:Mental Health Today) –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1:Wife-Beater?
“In April 2002, Billy Baldwin came to brother Alec Baldwin’s defense over allegations of domestic violence. “Is my brother a saint? No. Is he volatile? Yes,” Billy admitted. “But he is not a wife-beater.” So how did Billy explain the National Enquirer’s report of fighting between Alec and his ex-wife, Kim Basinger? “I think what may have happened is that Kim may have taken a run at Alec during a fight, and he may have put his arm up to protect himself or push her off,” Billy hypothesized. “But that’s not beating your wife.”
(Source: –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Shoot Britney
“While speaking at a conference at Hood College in Maryland in October 2003, Kendel Ehrlich, wife of Maryland governor Robert Ehrlich, encouraged women to educate themselves as much as possible and to fiercely guard their independence. How fiercely? “Every woman should be able to take care of themselves and their children on their own,” she declared. “It is incredibly important to get that message to young women. You know, really, if I had an opportunity to shoot Britney Spears, I think I would.” The subject of the conference? Domestic violence, of course…”
(Source: –

S & R* QUOTE #1: Robert Heinlein
“Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) –

S & R* QUOTE #2: Anne Frank
“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) –

THE AUTHOR: Faith (Corrigan) McNulty

Faith (Corrigan) McNulty, (d.o.b November 28, 1928), is from New York City, the daughter of a judge. She was a college drop-out. She got a job as a copy girl at the New York Daily News. She also worked at Life magazine and, during W.W.II,for the U.S. Office of War Information in London. McNulty was a wildlife writer at The New Yorker magazine for several years. She was an author – she wrote mainly non-fiction and children’s books on wildlife.  She married John McNulty, also a writer; and after he died in 1956, she married  Richard Martin. In her later years, she wrote a weekly column in the Animal Welfare League, which was founded by her mother in southern Rhode Island. She died in 2004 after suffering a stroke. The most notable book was “the Burning Bed” (1980). 
(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia)
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

THE BOOK: “The Burning Bed” by Faith McNulty (book)
It is the true story of Francine Hughes of Dansville, Michigan a battered housewife. Hughes suffered domestic abuse at the hands of her husband, James Berlin (“Mickey”) Hughes. On March 9, 1977, Hughes told her children to put their coats on and wait in the car. She then started a fire with gasoline around the bed in which the abuser was sleeping.With the fire set, Hughes drove to the local police station. Mr. Hughes died and the house burnt down.  Tried in Lansing, Michigan, she defended herself by saying that her husband had been abusing her for 13 years. Hughes was found not guilty by reason of temporary insanity.

Hughes’ story was not only a book; it was also made into the 1984 film, titled, “The Burning Bed”. In addition, Lyn Hardy, a singer, even wrote a song, entitled “The Ballad of Francine Hughes”.
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

THE MOVIE: “The Burning Bed” (Screenplay by Rose Leiman Goldemberg)

The book was made into a made-for-television movie.`The Burning Bed”, premiered on NBC on October 8, 1984. The movie, directed by Robert Greenwald, starred the late Farrah Fawcett as Francine Hughes and Paul LeMat as Mickey Hughes.The movie was filmed in Rosharon, Texas. The house that served as the house of Farrah Fawcett’s character still stands today.
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

Some books by Francine Hughes are:
o How to Dig a Hole to the Other Side of the World
o Dancing with Manatees
o The Burning Bed
o ”The Wildlife Stories of Faith McNulty
o Peeping in the Shell: A Whooping Crane Is Hatched
o Arty The Smarty
o Why Must They Die? The strange case of the prairie dog and the black-footed ferret
o Whales: Their Life in the Sea
o Listening to Whales Sing
o How Whales Walked into the Sea
o The Elephant Who Couldn’t Forget
o Endangered Animals
o The Great Whales
o Hurricane
o If Dogs Ruled the World
o The Lady and the Spider
o Mouse and Tim
o Orphan: The Story of a Baby Woodchuck
o Playing With Dolphins
o Red Wolves
o The Silly Story of a Flea and His Dog
o A Snake in the House
o With Love from Koko
o Woodchuck


Domestic violence and conjugal abuse is wrong. It is a VERY serious problem.

My personal comments

Violence and abuse betweem spouses is awful. A man who physically abuses a woman is a coward.  Abusive men often apologize after the beating. Then there is the making-up period.  That is what fools the woman into believing that everything is fine and things will change. Of course, this doesn’t happen. I say that this is the phoney peace… the calm after the storm…but before the next thunder shower. The abused feels great shame.  (N.B. While the abused is generally a woman, there are also batttered men.) It robs her of self-esteem. The abused comes to believe that she is worthless. Then there is the fear. It stops her in her tracks. All of this could bring on depression; some women fall into a deep despair. The scars can go VERY deep; some are for life.  I condemn this abuse. 

The abuser creates the problem. He or she needs help. More often than not, the abused also needs help.

I  believe that the children, who witness this abuse, are also deeply affected. Theywill most probably have problems with their relationships.  Some fall into the same situation. Others will rebel and consciously choose a partner that is not abusive.    

The point

No one should ever be the victim of domestic violence and conjugal abuse.


The battered person (abused) should:

1. Acknowledge the problem and address it immediately;

2. Determine that she is not at fault – that’s a good first step;
3. Recognize that it’s not about her – the problem lies with him;
4. Take such measures, as early as possible, if and when, she finds herself  in an abusive relationship;

5. Make every effort to alter the situation
6. Seek help immediately; the abused should:
6.1 Go alone to counselling, if your partner refuses to go; 
6.1.1 Attend support groups by yourself if your partner will not comply;

7. Be aware of the bystanders – the children; in this regard,

7.1  Note that it is a parent’s duty to give them a loving and peaceful home;
7.2  Change the situation for the sake of the children; it’s unfair to put them in a violent and stormy atmosphere. 
8. Leave, if there is no sugnificant change, for the sake of your children and also yourself – you’re worth it!
The abuser should:
9. Acknowledge that you have a problem;
10. Seek help immediately; 
11. Go into therapy.

I can`t – it is evil, so I will look for it and listen for it and shout out about it from the highest mountain top!* 

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “domestic violence”, “child abuse”, etc

Domestic violence

“Domestic violence, also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, family violence and intimate partner violence (IPV), can be broadly defined as a pattern of abusive behaviors by one or both partners in an intimate relationship such as marriage, dating, family, friends or cohabitation.[1] Domestic violence has many forms including physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects), or threats thereof; sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation; stalking; passive/covert abuse (e.g., neglect); and economic deprivation.[1] Alcohol consumption[2] and mental illness[3] can be co-morbid with abuse, and present additional challenges when present alongside patterns of abuse.Awareness, perception, definition and documentation of domestic violence differs widely from country to country, and from era to era. Estimates[citation needed] are that only about a third of cases of domestic violence are actually reported in the United States and the United Kingdom. According to the Centers for Disease Control, domestic violence is a serious, preventable public health problem affecting more than 32 million Americans, or over 10% of the U.S. population.[4]”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

Child Abuse
“Child abuse is the physical, sexual, emotional mistreatment, or neglect of children.[1] In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) define child maltreatment as any act or series of acts of commission or omission by a parent or other caregiver that results in harm, potential for harm, or threat of harm to a child.[2] Most child abuse occurs in a child’s home, with a smaller amount occurring in the organizations, schools or communities the child interacts with.[citation needed] There are four major categories of child abuse: neglect, physical abuse, psychological/emotional abuse, and child sexual abuse.”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –


S & R* BONUS FACT * #1: Murder
“In 2005, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner.1 That’s an average of three women every day. Of all the women murdered in the U.S., about one-third were killed by an intimate partner.2”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE:  Intimate Partner Violence or Battering
“Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.3 According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year.4 Less than 20 percent of battered women sought medical treatment following an injury.5”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

“According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, which includes crimes that were not reported to the police, 232,960 women in the U.S. were raped or sexually assaulted in 2006. That’s more than 600 women every day.6 Other estimates, such as those generated by the FBI, are much lower because they rely on data from law enforcement agencies. A significant number of crimes are never even reported for reasons that include the victim’s feeling that nothing can/will be done and the personal nature of the incident.7”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

“Young women, low-income women and some minorities are disproportionately victims of domestic violence and rape. Women ages 20-24 are at greatest risk of nonfatal domestic violence8, and women age 24 and under suffer from the highest rates of rape.9 The Justice Department estimates that one in five women will experience rape or attempted rape during their college years, and that less than five percent of these rapes will be reported.10 Income is also a factor: the poorer the household, the higher the rate of domestic violence — with women in the lowest income category experiencing more than six times the rate of nonfatal intimate partner violence as compared to women in the highest income category.11 When we consider race, we see that African-American women face higher rates of domestic violence than white women, and American-Indian women are victimized at a rate more than double that of women of other races.12”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

“According to the Family Violence Prevention Fund, “growing up in a violent home may be a terrifying and traumatic experience that can affect every aspect of a child’s life, growth and development. . . . children who have been exposed to family violence suffer symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, such as bed-wetting or nightmares, and were at greater risk than their peers of having allergies, asthma, gastrointestinal problems, headaches and flu.” In addition, women who experience physical abuse as children are at a greater risk of victimization as adults, and men have a far greater (more than double) likelihood of perpetrating abuse. 13″
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

“The Centers for Disease Control estimates that the cost of domestic violence in 2003 was more than over $8.3 billion. This cost includes medical care, mental health services, and lost productivity. 14”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

“In 1994, the National Organization for Women, the NOW Legal Defense and Education Fund (now called Legal Momentum), the Feminist Majority and other organizations finally secured passage of the Violence Against Women Act, which provided a record-breaking $1.6 billion to address issues of violence against women.15 However it took nearly an additional year to force the Newt Gingrich-led Congress to release the funding. An analysis estimated that in the first six years after VAWA was passed, nearly $14.8 billion was saved in net averted social costs.16 VAWA was reauthorized in 2005, with nearly $4 billion in funding over five years.17”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

“According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, “domestic violence affecting LGBT individuals continues to be grossly underreported . . . there is a lack of awareness and denial about the existence of this type of violence and its impact, both by LGBT people and non-LGBT people alike.”18 Myths regarding gender roles perpetuate the silence surrounding these abusive relationships; for example, the belief that there aren’t abusive lesbian relationships because women don’t abuse each other. Shelters are often unequipped to handle the needs of lesbians (as a women-only shelter isn’t much defense against a female abuser), and transgendered individuals. Statistics regarding domestic violence against LGBT people are unavailable at the national level, but as regional studies demonstrate, domestic violence is as much as a problem within LGBT communities as it is among
heterosexual ones.19”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

S & R* BONUS FACT * #2:
“Women’s violence towards men is a serious social problem.[30] While much attention has been focused on domestic violence against women, researchers argue that domestic violence against men is a substantial social problem worthy of attention.[4] However, the issue of victimization of men by women has been contentious, due in part to studies which report drastically different statistics regarding domestic violence.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

S & R* BONUS FACT #3: Child abuse, Child protection, and Child sexual abuse
“When it comes to domestic violence towards children involving physical abuse, research in the UK by the NSPCC indicated that “most violence occurred at home” (78 per cent). 40—60% of men and women who abuse other adults also abuse their children.[40] Girls whose fathers batter their mothers are 6.5 times more likely to be sexually abused by their fathers than are girls from non-violent homes.[41]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –


STUDY/STATISTICS: Violence Against Women in the United States: Statistics
“Despite the fact that advocacy groups like NOW have worked for two decades to halt the epidemic of gender-based violence and sexual assault, the numbers are still shocking. It is time to renew our national pledge, from the President and Congress on down to City Councils all across the nation to END violence against women and men, girls and boys. This effort must also be carried on in workplaces, schools, churches, locker rooms, the military, and in courtrooms, law enforcement, entertainment and the media. NOW pledges to continue our work to end this violence and we hope you will join us in our work.”

624221 Temporary Shelters
“This U.S. industry comprises establishments primarily engaged in providing (1) short term emergency shelter for victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, or child abuse and/or (2) temporary residential shelter for homeless individuals or families, runaway youth, and patients and families caught in medical crises. These establishments may operate their own shelters or may subsidize housing using existing homes, apartments, hotels, or motels.

Cross-References. Establishments primarily engaged in providing emergency shelter for victims of domestic or international disasters or conflicts are classified in Industry 624230, Emergency and Other Relief Services.”
(Source: US Census Bureau) –
Table 307. Violence by Intimate Partners by Sex, 1995 to 2007, and by Type of Crime, 2007
[Violence includes rape and sexual assault, robbery, aggravated assault, simple assault and homicide. Intimates are defined as spouses, ex-spouses, current boy/girlfriends, and ex-boy/girlfriends. Based on the National Crime Victimization Survey; see text, this section and Appendix III. Table data have been revised]
Year and type of crime
All persons Female victims Male victims
Number Rate per 1,000 1 Number Rate per 1,000 1 Number Rate per 1,000 1
1995 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  975,510 4.5 858,100 7.7 117,410 1.1
2000 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  670,900 3.0 560,230 4.8 110,670 1.0
2002 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  588,020 2.5 498,210 4.2 89,810 0.8
2003 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  540,700 2.3 444,140 3.6 96,560 0.8
2004 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  612,650 2.5 474,250 3.8 138,400 1.2
2005 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  493,110 2.0 385,850 3.1 107,260 0.9
2006 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 779,040 3.2 617,190 4.9 161,840 1.3
2007, total . . . . . . . . . . . . . .      646,790 2.6 564,430 4.4 82,360 0.7
Rape or sexual assault . . . . . . . .55,110 0.2 55,110 0.4 (B) (B)
Robbery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43,270 0.2 37,320 0.3 5,960 –
Aggravated assault. . . . . . . . . . . 85,010 0.3 69,010 0.5 16,000 0.1
Simple assault . . . . . . . . . . . . . .446,510 1.8 399,370 3.1 47,140 0.4
Homicide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  1,531 0.5 1,185 0.8 346 0.2
– Rounds to zero. B Base figure too small to meet statistical standards for reliability of derived figure. 1 Rates are for the number of victimizations per 1,000 persons aged 12 or older. Except for Homicide, the number of victimizations is per 1000,000 persons aged 12 or older. 2 Due to changes in methodology, the 2006 national crime victimization rates are not comparable to previous years or to 2007; and cannot be used for yearly trend comparisons. However, the overall patterns of victimization at the national level can be examined. See Criminal Victimization, 2007, at < /abstract/cv07.htm>.
Source: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Bureau of Justice Statistics, National Crime Victimization
Survey, Intimate Partner Violence in the United States, Series NCJ-210675, December 2007 and Crime Victimization, annual,
Series NCJ-224390; <>.
(Source: US Census Bureau) –


S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: Man arrested on domestic violence
“A Springfield man was arrested early this morning after he was accused of striking a woman he knew in the head and throwing a glass bottle at her.Robert C. Jones, 20, of 312 Gruen Drive, was arrested on charges of domestic violence and assault after the incident at his home between 3:20 and 3:38 a.m. A report from the Springfield Police Division showed Jones fled the scene as police arrived, but they found him hiding in a nearby field a short time later. He was taken to the Clark County Jail.”
(Source:  Google News Alerts) –

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2:“Canadians can dine out to support a safer and more just world for women June 2011 
“Throughout the month of June, Canadians in select cities can enjoy a night out while helping to build a safer and more just world for women by joining Amnesty International’s Taste for Justice.Participating Taste for Justice restaurants and other food based businesses are donating part proceeds towards Amnesty’s human rights research and campaigns, and helping to raise awareness about issues of violence and discrimination against women worldwide, including Canada. Some business owners have been a part of the campaign since it began in 2005, such as Estelle Matheson of Mozart Bakery in Langley, BC. For Matheson, Taste for Justice is a unique way to raise funds and promote awareness:  I feel it is important to be involved in my community by using my business as a vehicle to educate people about global issues that matter to me.While most Taste for Justice restaurants are located in Ottawa, Toronto, and Victoria, other communities across Canada are also participating.”
“News Canada” <>

Posted by on April 10th, 2011 Comments Off on “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE & CONJUGAL ABUSE: I earnestly want to arrest this terrible scourge!*”

“WOMEN’S RIGHTS & OPPORTUNITIES – I say: “There is more to be done worldwide!*”

Vol. 1,  No. 38, March 13th, 2011

TITLE: “WOMEN’S RIGHTS & OPPORTUNITIES – I say: “There is more to be done worldwide!*”


My book of the week is: “Untied: A Memoir of Family, Fame, and Floundering”[Hardcover] by Meredith Baxter`. In March 2011, with “International Women’s Day” (IWD) just passed and well into “Women’s History Month (March)”, I wanted to consider the lives of my gender. Hence my topic is women and all things female. I celebrate, remembering the sixties TV ad speaking to women, whose punch line was: “You’ve come a long way, baby.” I agree!
(Editor’s Note: This is the first of a series.)

“For today, my word/phrase(s) are:”Woman”, “Women’s History Month (March)”, “International Women’s Day” (IWD), etc.


“A woman (pl: women) is a female human. The term woman is usually reserved for an adult, with the term girl being the usual term for a female child or adolescent. However, the term woman is also sometimes used to identify a female human, regardless of age, as in phrases such as “Women’s rights”.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia). –

Women’s History Month (March)
“President Barack Obama proclaimed March 2011 to be “Women’s History Month”, calling Americans to mark IWD by reflecting on “the extraordinary accomplishments of women” in shaping the country’s history.[6] Secretary of State Hillary Clinton launched the “100 Women Initiative: Empowering Women and Girls through International Exchanges”, on the eve of IWD.[8]

In the run-up to 2011 International Women’s Day, the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) is calling on States and other entities not to relent in their efforts to prevent rape and other forms of sexual violence that harm the lives and dignity of countless women in conflict zones around the world.”

(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia). –

“Women’s History Month is an annual declared month worldwide that highlights contributions of women to events in history and contemporary society. March has been set aside as this month in the United Kingdom and in the United States. In India, this month is celebrated in October and corresponds with the celebration of Persons Day, which is October 18.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).-’s_History_Month

International Women’s Day (IWD)

“International Women’s Day (IWD), originally called International Working Women’s Day is marked on March 8 every year.[1] Nowadays this is a major day of global celebration of women. In different regions the focus of the celebrations ranges from general celebration of respect, appreciation and love towards women to a celebration for women’s economic, political and social achievements. Started as a Socialist political event, the holiday blended in the culture of many countries, primarily Eastern Europe, Russia, and the former Soviet bloc. In many regions, the day lost its political flavour, and became simply an occasion for men to express their love for women in a way somewhat similar to a mixture of Mother’s Day and St Valentine’s Day. In other regions, however, the original political and human rights theme designated by the United Nations runs strong, and political and social awareness of the struggles of women worldwide are brought out and examined in a hopeful manner.”

“The first IWD was observed on 19 March 1908 in Germany following a declaration by the Socialist Party of America. The idea of having an international women’s day was first put forward at the turn of the 20th century amid rapid world industrialization and economic expansion that led to protests over working conditions[citation needed]In 1910, Second International held the first international women’s conference in Copenhagen (in the labour-movement building located at Jagtvej 69, which until 1 March 2007 housed Ungdomshuset). An ‘International Women’s Day’ was established. It was suggested by the important German Socialist Clara Zetkin, although no date was specified. The following year, 1911, IWD was marked by over a million people in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland, on 19 March. They demanded the right to vote to hold public office for women, as well as protested against employment sex discrimination.In 1913 Russian women observed their first International Women’s Day on the last Sunday in February (by Julian calendar then used in Russia). In 1917 demonstrations marking International Women’s Day in St.Petersburg on the last Sunday in February (which fell on 8 March on the Gregorian calendar) initiated the February Revolution.[2]”

“Following the October Revolution, the Bolshevik Alexandra Kollontai persuaded Lenin to make it an official holiday in the Soviet Union, and it was established, but was a working day until 1965. On May 8, 1965 by the decree of the USSR Presidium of the Supreme Soviet International Women’s Day was declared a non working day in the USSR “in commemoration of the outstanding merits of Soviet women in communistic construction, in the defense of their Fatherland during the Great Patriotic War, in their heroism and selflessness at the front and in the rear, and also marking the great contribution of women to strengthening friendship between peoples, and the struggle for peace. But still, women’s day must be celebrated as are other holidays.”

“In the West, International Women’s Day was first observed as a popular event after 1977[citation needed] when the United Nations General Assembly invited member states to proclaim March 8 as the UN Day for Women’s Rights and International Peace.[3]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).-’s_Day

“In some cases International Women’s Day has led to questionable practices that discriminated against men. For example Tower Hamlets Council closed off one of its libraries to all males to “celebrate” the occasion, forcing them to travel elsewhere, going as far as even banning male staff from the premises.[31]In the Czech Republic (then part of Czechoslovak Socialist Republic), huge Soviet style celebrations were held annually. After the fall of Communism, the holiday, generally considered to be one of the major symbols of the old regime, fell into obscurity. International Women’s Day was re-established as an official “important day” by the Parliament only recently, on the proposal of the Social Democrats and Communists. This has provoked some controversy as a large part of the public as well as the political right see the holiday as a relic of the nation’s Communist past. In 2008, the conservative Catholic People’s Party’s deputies unsuccessfully proposed the abolition of the holiday. However, some non-government organizations consider the official recognition of International Women’s Day as an important reminder of women’s role in the society. Still, unlike in the past, the holiday is no longer observed by the general public in any significant way.”

“International Women’s Day sparked violence in Tehran, Iran on March 4, 2007, when police beat hundreds of men and women who were planning a rally. Police arrested dozens of women and some were released after several days of solitary confinement and interrogation.[32] Shadi Sadr Mahbubeh Abbasgholizadeh and several more community activists were released on March 19, 2007, ending a fifteen day hunger strike.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).-’s_Day

Bonus fact #1: U.S. Women`s Suffrage (U.S.)  

“Woman suffrage in the United States was achieved gradually, at state and local levels, during the 19th Century and early 20th Century, culminating in 1920 with the passage of the Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, which provided: “The right of citizens of the United States to vote are not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.”

“The Seneca Falls Convention of 1848 formulated the demand for women’s suffrage in the United States of America and after the American Civil War (1861–1865) agitation for the cause became more prominent. In 1869 the proposed Fifteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution, which gave the vote to black men, caused controversy as women’s suffrage campaigners such as Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton refused to endorse the amendment, as it did not give the vote to women. Others, such as Lucy Stone and Julia Ward Howe however argued that if black men were enfranchised, women would achieve their goal. The conflict caused two organisations to emerge, the National Woman Suffrage Association, which campaigned for women’s suffrage at a federal level as well as for married women to be given property rights, and the American Woman Suffrage Association, which aimed to secure women’s suffrage through state legislation.[2]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).-’s_suffrage_in_the_United_States

Bonus fact #2: Feminism
“Feminism refers to movements aimed at defining, establishing and defending equal political, economic, and social rights and equal opportunities for women.[1][2][3] Its concepts overlap with those of women’s rights. Feminism is mainly focused on women’s issues, but because feminism seeks gender equality, some feminists argue that men’s liberation is therefore a necessary part of feminism, and that men are also harmed by sexism and gender roles. Feminists—that is, persons practicing feminism—can be persons of either sex.

Feminist theory emerged from these feminist movements[4][5] and includes general theories and theories about the origins of inequality, and, in some cases, about the social construction of sex and gender, in a variety of disciplines. Feminist activists have campaigned for women’s rights—such as in contract, property, and voting—while also promoting women’s rights to bodily integrity and autonomy and reproductive rights. They have opposed domestic violence, sexual harassment, and sexual assault. In economics, they have advocated for workplace rights, including equal pay and opportunities for careers and to start businesses.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).-

Bonus fact #3: Gloria Marie Steinem
“Gloria Marie Steinem (born March 25, 1934) is an American feminist, journalist, and social and political activist who became nationally recognized as a leader of, and media spokeswoman for, the Women’s Liberation Movement in the late 1960s and 1970s. A prominent writer and political figure, Steinem has founded many organizations and projects and has been the recipient of many awards and honors. She was a columnist for New York magazine and co-founded Ms. magazine. In 1969, she published an article, “After Black Power, Women’s Liberation” which, along with her early support of abortion rights, catapulted her to national fame as a feminist leader. In 2005, Steinem worked alongside Jane Fonda and Robin Morgan to co-found the Women’s Media Center, an organization that works to amplify the voices of women in the media through advocacy, media and leadership training, and the creation of original content. Steinem currently serves on the board of the organization. She continues to involve herself in politics and media affairs as a commentator, writer, lecturer, and organizer, campaigning for candidates and reforms and publishing books and articles.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).-

Bonus fact #4: Discrimination – Sex, Gender and Gender Identity discrimination

“Though gender discrimination and sexism refers to beliefs and attitudes in relation to the gender of a person, such beliefs and attitudes are of a social nature and do not, normally, carry any legal consequences. Sex discrimination, on the other hand, may have legal consequences.

Though what constitutes sex discrimination varies between countries, the essence is that it is an adverse action taken by one person against another person that would not have occurred had the person been of another sex. Discrimination of that nature in certain enumerated circumstances is illegal in many countries.

Currently, discrimination based on sex is defined as adverse action against another person, which would not have occurred had the person been of another sex. This is considered a form of prejudice and is illegal in certain enumerated circumstances in most countries.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).-

Bonus fact #5: Care

“CARE is a large international development and humanitarian organization, with programs in more than 70 countries around the world.

CARE places special focus on working alongside poor women because, equipped with the proper resources, women have the power to help whole families and entire communities escape poverty. Women are at the heart of CARE’s community-based efforts to improve basic education, prevent the spread of HIV, increase access to clean water and sanitation, expand economic opportunity and protect natural resources. CARE also delivers emergency aid to survivors of war and natural disasters, and helps people rebuild their lives.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).-


“National Women’s History Month dates back to March 8, 1857, when women from New York City factories staged a protest over working conditions. International Women’s Day was first observed in 1909, but it wasn’t until 1981 that Congress established National Women’s History Week to be commemorated the second week of March. In 1987, Congress expanded the week to a month. Every year since, Congress has passed a resolution for Women’s History Month, and the President has issued a proclamation.”

“157.2 million:  The number of females in the United States as of Oct. 1, 2010. The number of males was 153.2 million.”
Source: Population estimates <>

“At 85 and older, there were more than twice as many women as men.”
Source: Population estimates <>

“1.9: Average number of children that women 40 to 44 had given birth to as of 2008, down from 3.1 children in 1976, the year the Census Bureau began collecting such data. The percentage of women in this age group who had given birth was 82 percent in 2008, down from 90 percent in 1976.”
Source: Fertility of American Women: 2008 <>

“$36,278: The median annual earnings of women 15 or older who worked year-round, full time, in 2009, up 1.9 percent from $35,609 in 2008 (after adjusting for inflation). Women earned 77 cents for every $1 earned by men.”
Source: Income, Poverty, and Health Insurance Coverage in the United States: 2009
<> and <>

“29.9 million:  Number of women 25 and older with a bachelor’s degree or more education in 2009, higher than the corresponding number for men (28.7 million). Women had a larger share of high school diplomas, as well as associate, bachelor’s and master’s degrees. More men than women had a professional or doctoral degree.”
Source: Educational Attainment in the United States: 2009 <> or <>

(Source: U.S. Census Bureau) –
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1:  Women entrepreneurs
“Women entrepreneurs are one of the fastest growing segments of the Canadian economy and represent a growing economic force according to recent findings. A report on Canada’s business scene by the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce shows a 50 percent increase in the number of self “employed women in Canada over the last 15 years.According to Statistics Canada there are now more than 826,000 women entrepreneurs in Canada who annually contribute in excess of $18 billion to Canada’s economy. The rate of growth of businesses run by women entrepreneurs is 60 per cent faster than those run by men, as 4 out of 5 new businesses are now started by women.According to Ross Creber, President of the Direct Sellers Association of Canada, a lot of women are choosing to branch out on their own in an effort to find a better balance between the demands of work and family. Many of them, he says, are choosing to start a new business in the direct selling industry so they can enjoy the flexibility of being their own boss and setting their own hours. When Courtney Haanen’s husband was laid off for the second time, she turned to direct selling to help support her family. With a two “year“ old to care for, Haanen needed to be able to work from home with flexible hours. After drawing up a list of requirements, she chose Avon due to the low start“ up fee and potential for sales due to the variety of customers she could approach with the Avon brochure.Within a month, Courtney saw that her Avon business was meeting her high expectations. [UTF-8?]“I started telling girlfriends who were home with their kids about what I was doing and I started building my team.Avon Sales Representatives are self“employed and receive up to 50 per cent earnings on the goods they sell. Some choose to just sell the products for extra money and often work around part “time jobs. Others, like Haanen become Leadership Representatives, recruiting and training other Sales Representatives.My bonus arrived at the perfect time. It paid for our family’s Christmas. Running my own Avon business allows me to support my family when my husband is out of work. Avon has helped Haanen and others meet their financial goals while working from home. No matter what happens in the economy I know that with my Avon business I have something I can control. With a second baby on the way, I’m confident we’ll be okay.” More information on women entrepreneurs is available at

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Avon
“Avon celebrates 125 years of empowering women worldwide”Born in 1886 as the California Perfume Company in an age of dramatic social, economic, political and industrial transformation, Avon began its unique heritage of empowering women with financial and professional opportunities in a time where little existed. Today, 125 years later, Avon continues to be a trailblazer of economic opportunity for women with 5 million representatives in more than 100 countries worldwide. Company founder, David H. McConnell, discovered early on that bringing his perfumes directly to his customers “ mostly women“ was much more effective than traditional selling methods. This direct selling approach was spearheaded by the very first Avon Lady, Mrs. P.F.E. Albee of Winchester, New Hampshire who, as a representative, sold products and also recruited other agents. Her hiring signaled the beginning of Avon’s ongoing commitment to women by offering them the rare opportunity to earn an income to support themselves and their families 34 years before women earned the right to vote in the U.S.Today Avon is the direct sales leader and most recognizable beauty brand in the world with annual sales exceeding $8 billion. From leading the world in anti“ aging skincare to cutting“ edge concepts in color cosmetics, it constantly strives toward innovation in product technology, design, marketing and sales. Avon’s product portfolio includes some of the most recognizable beauty brands in the world such as Avon Color, Anew, Skin “So“ Soft, Avon Solutions, Advance Techniques, and Avon Naturals. Avon is committed to women of all cultures and age groups “ not only as consumers and representatives: as people, explained John Lin, President of Avon Canada. We believe in giving back to women and the communities where they live and work, from their economic well “being to their health and safety. In fact, since 1955, when the Avon Foundation for Women was created, more than $500 million worldwide has been donated to address breast cancer, domestic violence and emergency relief for women and families. Avon is the largest single corporate supporter in breast cancer awareness and research. For representatives, like Marie François, the opportunity and freedom to build a home “based business on their own schedule is what draws them to the Avon lifestyle. When you work for others, they determine your salary, your hours, and often, your career path, François explained. When you run your own business with Avon, there’s no limit to your financial and personal success. Lin agrees stating that a representative’s potential is driven by their goals and determination? You can choose to work as little as 20 hours a week“ and you’ll probably earn more than from a “regular” part “time job. Or jumpstart your income by becoming a Leadership Representative: share the Avon opportunity with others and profit from their success. In addition to this incremental earning potential, you’ll be helping other people transform and take charge of their lives.Somewhere in the heavens Mr. McConnell is smiling, even after 125 years, Avon is still helping to empower women to take charge of their lives.” More information is available at -( -“News Canada” <>  

For us ladies, the times have been …..a changing! During my grandmother’s generation, many women didn’t work outside the home.  In my grandmother’s case, she had 10 children – thus this was her full-time job. In her marriage, she was very subservient to my grandfather.  He was the boss.  She was obedient, loyal, faithful – the dutiful wife. During my mother’s generation, more women worked outside the house – she worked all of her life.  (While the household was under her control, my Dad took care of the finances.) She raised her family and also brought home some of the bacon. It was hard.  During my generation, beyond having children and keeping house, many women also have careers. With great pride, I say that I was one of such women. Now, in my adult daughters’ generation, this has continued. The two pay cheque family is very common. Many women combine careers along with having a family. The big difference now, even in contrast to my child bearing years, is that the Canadian government makes it easier for women. When it comes to maternity leave, a woman can collect benefits for up to two years.  She now has the luxury of staying home with her baby, still retaining her job. 

S & R* Choice Anecdote* #1: Veiled Insult
While visiting India in 1921, French Prime Minister Georges Clemenceau was shown the splendid stables of a native prince. Clemenceau asked his guide whether the purdah system was observed among horses. Were mares required to veil their faces when they went outdoors? “No,” the man replied. “Then,” Clemenceau declared, “in India mares are better treated than women.”

S & R* Choice Anecdote*#2: Women’s Rights
“The Queen is most anxious to enlist every one who can speak or write to join in checking this mad, wicked folly of ‘Women’s Rights,’ with all its attendant horrors.” The date? 1870. The speaker? Queen Victoria.

S & R* Choice Anecdote* #3: Hilbert & Noether
Because she was a woman, the gifted mathematician Emmy Noether found her career derailed at every turn. Fortunately, the legendary David Hilbert allowed Noether to deliver lectures for courses listed under his name until, at last, she was appointed to a lectureship. When Hilbert’s male colleagues objected to the presence of a woman in their midst, he gallantly rose to her defense again. “The faculty,” he tartly remarked, “is not a bathing establishment.”

S & R* Choice Anecdote* #4: Eleanor Roosevelt
“When Eleanor Roosevelt journeyed to New York City a week after her husband’s funeral in April 1945, a cluster of reporters were waiting at the door of her Washington Square apartment. ‘The story is over,’ she said simply, assuming that her words and opinions would no longer be of interest once her husband was dead and she was no longer First Lady. She could not have been more mistaken.”

THE AUTHOR: Meredith Baxter

Meredith Ann Baxter was born (d.o.b.June 21, 1947) in South Pasadena, California, the daughter of Whitney Blake, actress and situation-comedy creator and Tom Baxter, a radio announcer. She is an American actress and producer. (She also used her married name, Meredith Baxter-Birney.) Baxter was a Boomer Mom on “Family Ties”; and as well, she was a wife and mother in real life. However, she was a three- time divorcee. She had breast cancer. She  discovered, some time afterwards, that she was a lesbian. She is happy now. Truly, she lived life…been there … done that. She is a perfect poster child of women folk. She had a book in her. I am pleased that she wrote it.  On this, the first of my series on women, I thought she was right for today’s kick-off. (Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia; etc.)


Some of her TV work includes the following: 
* (1972) Bridget Loves Bernie
* Family. (1976-80)
* Vanities (1981) – Standing Room Only
* Family Ties (1982-1989)
* NBC television movie Kate’s Secret
* Dan Vs. (2011-present)

*”Untied: A Memoir of Family, Fame, and Floundering”[Hardcover] by Meredith Baxter`, and Floundering” [Hardcover] by Meredith Baxter`

THE BOOK: * “Untied: A Memoir of Family, Fame, and Floundering” [Hardcover] by Meredith Baxter`
Baxter was a show business kid. She had been married and divorced three times and has five children.  Baxter was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999. Since 2005, she has been in a committed relationship with her partner.

She had to come to terms with her relationship with her mother and also those with her ex-husbands. This lady enjoyed success; but she had to deal with severe lows. Divorce was also the battlegound for a terrible custody battle. Her self- esteem took many major hits. She turned to drink looking to exit the pain through the spout of a bottle. Getting on the wagon in 1990, she fought back. Unshackled and not having to be ‘good’, she simply wanted to be herself. She found her true inner person and her voice.

She speaks openly from the heart. She speaks with authority and conviction as it is with the wisdom gained from experience. Cheering her on, you listen, knowing that she is helping you, the reader to overcome the trials and tribulations that you face in your own life. Meredith,  you’re not just a pretty face. You’re All – Woman. Saying this brings to mind the great Helen Ready song, “I am woman”.  I think that you fit the lyrics; here is an extract of the chorus:

“Oh yes I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman”
(Source:  I Am Woman by artist – Helen Reddy from “Helen Reddy’s Greatest Hits”: EMI ST 11467 – Words and Music by Helen Reddy and Ray Burton
Peak Billboard position # 1 for 1 week in 1972voice.

P.S. I chose the book for today’s  lead-in on women as I think women are Can-Do people. Meredith is surely one of them. She shows by example. On a personal level, she can help each of us do better. Indeed, her story is profoundly moving. I think that you will find it inspiring.

On a collective level, we also need to do better. There is still much left to do.   


Today, in the Western democracies, many women are doing well. Demographically speaking, women outlive men by as much as 10 years.  A woman’s life expectancy is 79 as compared to a man’s at 72.  The number of women starting businesses is increasing faster than men. 

However, there are places on this green earth where women are disadvantaged. This must stop.

My personal comments

To me, being female has meant and continues to mean that I have to be VERY organized and hard- working in order to raise a family, carry on my full-time day job  outside the home and also keep up my household. To the question of “What was difficult?”,  I replied, “It’s NOT the 9:00 to 5:00 job that’s killing me, it’s the 5:00 to 9:00 that’s doing me in.”  Yet, I did it!

I am so happy being a women because we are the mothers and nurterers and there is a reward in heaven for that. 

I am thrilled with the people that my daughters have become. In a word, the key is independence. I taught them never to be dependent on a man.  It’s important for a woman to have a job and earn her own money. 

I love being a lady today because a woman today can do so much and achieve greatness. It is a time of wonderful opportunity. I am grateful to the legions of the sisterhood who came before me who fought for the vote, laws against gender discrimination, equal education, equal pay,  etc. My regret is that this is not the case yet all over the world.  

I believe in the struggle of women to be equal EVERYWHERE in the world. I WILL do EVERYTHING possible in order to empower women.

The point

To know where you are going, you need to know where you have been. Hence, I provided some historical information on the women’s movement.

To bring about change,  I know that I am one person with one voice. But I know there are others who support us. I encourage those of like mind. I want them to stand with us. We need to focus to make the world a better place for all women, EVERYWHERE in the world. 


1. Learn about the battles fought for you in years gone by;

2. Learn about today’s injustices for women and raise your voice in support of, throughout the  globe, equal rights and opportunities for women, in education and all endeavours. 

3. Do not, on a personal level, be dependent upon a man; instead be independent; I have been very vocal in encouraging all young women to get a proper education, find a good job and be financially secure in their own right.
3.1 Ensure that you earn your own money.
4. Know that the entire world is your oyster;
5. Do not say “Why”; instead, say”Why not”;
6. See the opportunity – NOT the restraints and obstacles;

7. Be happy from doing and living up to your gifts and natural abilities and great potential; 

8. Be a lady. Tom Jones sings: “She’s a lady.” I want each one of us to look good and be respectable, but also, to have the smarts and achieve much;

Ladies, let us all now powder our noses and do great things!*

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours!*
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on March 13th, 2011 Comments Off on “WOMEN’S RIGHTS & OPPORTUNITIES – I say: “There is more to be done worldwide!*”

“Eating disorders: bulimia and anorexia – I also have some thoughts*”

Vol. 1,  No. 36, February 27, 2011

TITLE: “Eating disorders: bulimia and anorexia – I also have some thoughts*”

My book of the week is “Thin” [Hardcover] by Lauren Greenfield (Author), Joan Jacobs Brumberg (Introduction). My topic is therefore eating disorders: bulimia and anorexia.


For today, my word/phrase(s) are:””, “bulimia nervosa”, anorexia, etc

Bulimia nervosa (bulimia)
“Bulimia nervosa (bulimia) is a disease and a type of eating disorder. It is when a person wants to starve his or her self. People who have it feel that they are fat and want to be skinny. When they are hungry, they eat a lot of food. Then, they try to take it back by vomiting, exercising, or using drugs.

The person with bulimia eats large amounts of food. Then, they want to get rid of it. To do this, they vomit or use drugs. They do this at least two times a week or more often. The person always thinks about how his or her body looks, and he or she wants to be skinny. The person may also have anorexia nervosa. However, some people with bulimia have a normal weight or are overweight, which makes it difficult to know when someone has bulimia.

Bulimia nervosa can cause many health problems. Because vomit has a lot of acid in it, doing it a lot can burn the person’s mouth, throat, or teeth. Someone can lose nutrients or fluids in his or her body. Glands in one’s throat and face may get bigger and hurt. The immune system is weakened, and a person can get muscle or heart problems.

People who get bulimia
Most people who get bulimia are ages 10 to 25. Usually girls have bulimia, but boys can have it too. People who had bad things happen to them are more likely to get the disease too. People with obsessive compulsive disorder or perfectionism are also more likely to have bulimia.[1] People can also get bulima if, they have been through physiological trauma.
Bulimia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by restraining of food intake for a period of time followed by an over intake or binging period that results in feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. The median age of onset is 18. Sufferers attempt to overcome these feelings through a number of ways.[1] The most common form is defensive vomiting, sometimes called purging; fasting, the use of laxatives, enemas, diuretics, and over exercising are also common.[2] Bulimia nervosa is nine times more likely to occur in women than men (Barker 2003). Antidepressants, especially SSRIs are widely used in the treatment of bulimia nervosa. (Newell and Gournay 2000).”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –


Eating conditions


Bonus fact #1 Origin of name
“[3] Bulimia nervosa was named and first described by the British psychiatrist Gerald Russell in 1979.[4][5]

Bonus fact #2 : Real people sufferers
Actress Candace Cameron, who is famous for her role of DJ Tanner on the hit television series of 1990s “Full House”, revealed for the first time her battle with Bulimia when she was younger….
Britain’s former deputy prime minister John Prescott, who was known for his tough guy image, said on Sunday that he has secretly struggled with the eating disorder bulimia for decades.   Prescott wrote in the Sunday Times newspaper that he used to gorge on vast amounts of food and then force himself to vomit.
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: How we see our bodies impacts how we live our lives by Jean Gottlieb, Health Reporter

“(NC)—More than seven out of ten girls avoid certain activities, such as giving an opinion or going to school when they feel bad about their bodies, according to academic research by the Dove Self Esteem Fund. Negative body image also means both girls and boys are less likely to engage in physical activity. Life-long health-giving habits such as proper nutrition and exercise are laid down in childhood and are affected by an individual’s body image.

“It makes me really shy about doing things with my friends,” says sixteen-year-old Shayla Timms about her body. “I’m always trying to hide my shape, which ends up with me wanting to hide myself”.

“We need our girls – and boys – to feel confident in themselves so that they can be fully engaged in their communities, socially, academically, economically; we need them to feel good about themselves and their bodies so that they can make healthy choices in their lives” says Merryl Bear, director of the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC).

Despite some good beginnings to support more diverse body shapes and sizes by designers such as Canadian Mark Fast, and magazines such as Marie Claire providing some diversity, the overwhelming media messaging is that thin-is-in.

“Combined with the war on fat, messaging that thinness is the passport to success leads to food and weight preoccupation, and our youth are particularly vulnerable to this” comments Bear. Fortunately for most parents, the evidence is clear that some simple steps, many of which are found on NEDIC’s website at, can help to protect their child’s emotional and physical well-being.

Having dinner together regularly as a family is shown to be effective in increasing children and youth’s emotional resilience. Learning to trust and take measured risks with one’s body through physical activity helps children to develop self-confidence as well as a healthy body. And, as Bear suggests, it is never too late to develop a better body image and self-confidence.” “News Canada” <

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2:Eating disorders are rising among men by Jean Gottlieb, Health Reporter
(NC)—”Eating disorders are still often thought of as a female problem, or one sometimes affecting gay males. However, an increasing number of eating disorders are being seen in males and minority populations, according to a recent report by the US Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. The same report shows that 5 – 10% of all individuals with an eating disorder are male.

“These are significant numbers of boys and men needing help,” says Merryl Bear, director of the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC),, “Whether you are female or male, there’s little difference in your degree of unhappiness, pain or danger to health.”

Both males and females with eating disorders suffer similar rates of anxiety, depression, phobias, panic disorder, and substance dependence.

Despite this, men, whose treatment needs are similar to those of women, have difficulty in getting help. This may be related to shame and secrecy about their illness, and because doctors are less likely to identify an eating disorder in males.

“I ended up using food as a form of control to forget about the negativity that was happening and the stress/pressure … Had I gone to the hospital a day later, I may not have been here today,” says Pete Czerwinski about his struggle with anorexia, some of which is documented in the film Furious Pete.

“The good thing is that we are increasingly seeing media stories about the struggles of boys and men with food, weight and shape issues. This helps to make it easier for them – or family members – to reach out to NEDIC and other places for help,” notes Bear “No-one needs to suffer alone.” Increasingly, she says, there are more gender sensitive services available to males across the country.” “News Canada” <

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #3:  Profile America — Monday, March 28th.

“This month has been set aside to recognize a number of various causes. Two of these seem to go hand in hand — National Nutrition Month and National Frozen Food Month. The goal of the first is make consumers aware of just how easy it is to eat healthy meals. And one of the ways this is possible is because of frozen food. The first commercially available frozen food was packaged fish in 1925. Frozen food became increasingly popular after World War II, as refrigerated trains and trucks were able to carry it to all parts of the nation. Now, every refrigerator has a fairly ample freezer. And, the complimentary appliance — a microwave oven — is in more than nine-out-of-10 homes. You can find these and more facts about America from the U.S. Census Bureau online at <>.
Sources: Chase’s Calendar of Events 2011, p. 151
Statistical Abstract of the United States 2008, t. 951


Being a mother of daughters, I was interested in this topic. I aimed to learn about it.   

While I don’t have a direct experience with these disorders, I have lived life and I have watched young poeople. One powerful image does come to mind. One day, walking down the hallway at work, I noticed a young lady at the water fountain. I was stunned. She looked like a skeleton. She was just skin and bones. It is possible that she could have been just very skinny; I doubt that. I am convinced that she was a sufferer of anorexia.   I was saddened by what I saw.

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE #1* Calista Flockhart

“Flockhart, noted for her slender figure, often battled rumors that she was suffering from anorexia and bulimia. When Flockhart collapsed on the set of “Ally McBeal” on December 13th, 2000, it was announced that she was merely suffering from dehydration and exhaustion. While her publicist attributed the collapse to Robert Downey Jr’s presence on the “Ally” set, according to the World Entertainment News Network news service, Calista’s home life was under strain for another reason: “Her dog, Webster, doesn’t like her boyfriend, Garry Shandling.”

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE #2* Diamond Jim Brady: Porker

“Mutlimillionaire railroad tycoon ‘Diamond Jim’ Brady was at least as well known for its gargantuan appetite as he was for his fiscal successes. A typical day’s menu began at breakfast, with hominy, eggs, corn bread, muffins, griddle cakes, chops, fried potatoes, a beefsteak, and a gallon of orange juice. Next came a late morning snack of two or three dozen clams and oysters, followed at 12:30 p.m. by lunch (clams, oysters, boiled lobsters, deviled crabs, a joint of beef, and a variety of pies). At afternoon tea, Jim would sit down to a heaping dish of seafood and copious drafts of lemon soda. “Dinner, of course, was the major meal of the day, and Jim often supped at Rector’s, a posh New York restaurant. the meal included two or three dozen Lynnhaven oysters, six crabs, several bowls of green turtle soup, sex or seven lobsters, a pair of canvasback ducks, a double serving of terrapin, a sirloin steak, vegetables, and much orange juice. Generally, Jim would top off the meal with a piled-high platter of cakes and pies and a 2-lb. box of candy.”

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE #3* Gilda Radner: Bulimia

“Gilda [Radner] told me,” Elliott Gould once recalled, “that when she couldn’t sleep, she would order food at about two or three in the morning, and she was so bulimic she would order enough for six or seven people, even though it was just her alone. And then when the delivery guy came and rang the bell, she would say [calling out], ‘The food’s here! The food’s here!'”

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE #4* Jane Fonda: Pill-Popper

Jane Fonda was once arrested after allegedly kicking a police officer. Although she had been found carrying an immense quantity of pills, all charges were later dropped. Why? The “pills” were later identified as vitamins!

THE AUTHOR: Lauren Greenfield

Lauren Greenfield is a photo artist/journalist. She is also a filmmaker. Her overall subject of choice is young people and culture. A major theme is female identity, perception of body and eating disorders. She also has authored books.
(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia)


Her films include:

  • “Fashion Show” (2010) multimedia with photo, video and audio
  • “Foreclosure: Death of the American Dream” (2009) – multimedia with photo, video and audio
  • “Ben Gals” (2008) – multimedia with photo and audio
  • “Teen Spa” (2007) – multimedia with photo and audio
  • “Jackie Warner” (2007) – multimedia with photo, video and audi
  • “Teen Lipo” (2006) – multimedia with photo and audio

Her books include:

  • THIN (Chronicle Books, 2006)
  • Girl Culture (Chronicle Books, 2002)
  • Fast Forward: Growing Up in the Shadow of Hollywood (Hard cover Knopf, 1997; soft cover Chronicle Books 2002)

THE BOOK: “Thin” [Hardcover] by Lauren Greenfield (Author), Joan Jacobs Brumberg

She is an artist – her passion is improving the female experience particularly that of adolescents. For girls, perception replaces reality. The female body offered by films and TV is the impossible dream. Regardless, it drives girls to chase it. Eating disorders are the result. Some of the afllicted go the eat and purge route (bulimia); others opt for not eating (anorexia). Greenfield’s art is visual; she shines light on this problem. Along with the pictures, are personal stories of suffering girls and women. This is combined with essays of experts in the field. This combo package book delivers up information. We understand more. We know more. It helps. Check it out!


Eating disorders are destrucive of good health. These includes bulimia and anorexia. 

Eating disorders have been serious problems of teenage girls and young adult women. First, it comes from the mistaken belief that beauty is skin deep superficial. Second, the fashion world presents a false image of beauty. The body is not natural; instead, models and stars have much plastic surgery done. They then add expensive clothing and professional make-up sessions and voila you have a pretty picture – not of the real world. Also, such is photo-shopped. And further, the desirable woman is portrayed as one who is as thin as possible. (N.B. It is a known fact that many models are borderline starving to remain at their lowest weight.) Feed all of this to impressionable females; and they are thus on track with highly unrealistic goals.

These disorders are tragic. It is unfortunate how critical a young girl/woman could be about her looks. She looks in the mirror and sees only the flaws and not the beauty that reflects back.  It’s so sad … she doesn’t know her actual worth.   

There are other factors in eating disorders. For example, a person with a compulsive personality or controlling behavior will usually be a candidate for these disorders. Self- discipline is a very important quality, but sufferers go overboard. With this characteristic, one can control oneself to do things to the extreme. This is greatly destructive.   As well, people with this illness usually have depression issues.  

Eating disorders are also a growing problem of men, particularly those intensely committed to weight and cardio training, body building, elite athlete regimens, etc. Such are also prevalent in the gay community.        

My personal comments

I want to look my best. While I’m fortunate that I don’t have a weight problem; if the truth be known, there are certain areas of my body with which I am dissatisfied. But through the years, I have learned to accept my body type (shape and size) . 

I exercise and eat healthy. There are certain styles of clothing that are not flattering to my body type, hence I do not wear them.  So you see, by example, I encourage finding a better more positive way to deal with self-image. 

Furthermore, I belive that true beauty is the whole person incluisve of the inner soul.

The point

I know that there are many who want to change the stance of the beauty industry and the message being currently publicized, for the consumption of young girls and women. I wish them well and hope that they achieve their goal of change.  
However, I have another recommendation. I propose that government health departments launch an advertising campaign, (similar to that for the stoppage of drug use), showing the results of carrying on the bulimic or anorexic behavior. A TV ad that comes to mind is the one where eggs are fried in a frypan and the voice over says that this is is the result of drug use.  I also propose labels on wearing apparel destined for young women to contain images, like on cigarette packs, showing the effects of these disorders, like intestinal malfunction, rotten teeth from regurgitated stomach acids, etc.   


If a parent of a teenager,

1. Compliment him/her about looks, how he/she is dressed;
2. Suggest in a positive way, what you think might is not be suitable and at the same time, what is complimentary to their body type-shape; 
3. Pay attention to his/her eating habits; in this regard,
4. Seek help immediately: (a) If you notice anything not right with their meals and digestion;

if  a sufferer
5. Tell someone who you can trust about your secret;
6. Seek out professional help;

Let us help these young people. Please do what you can. I am counting on you.

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on February 27th, 2011 1 Comment

“PLASTIC SURGERY: Gone wrong, I am concerned for you, dear readers! (the before, the now, and the after*)”

Vol. 1,  No. 30  January 16th, 2011
TITLE: “PLASTIC SURGERY: Gone wrong, I am concerned for you, dear readers! (the before, the now, and the after*)”

My book of the week is:”Straight Talk about Cosmetic Surgery” (2007) by Arthur W. Perry M.D., F.A.C.S., ( & Robin Karol Levinson). Hence, my topic is plastic surgery.  
(Editor’s Note: This is the first of a multi-part series on staying young.)


For today, my word/phrases are: “plastic surgery”;  “Collagen”; “Botox”, etc. 

Plastic Surgery

“Plastic Surgery is a medical specialty concerned with the correction or restoration of form and function. While famous for aesthetic surgery, plastic surgery also includes many types of reconstructive surgery, hand surgery, microsurgery, and the treatment of burns. The word “plastic” derives from the Greek plastikos meaning to mold or to shape, thus plastic surgery means “molding or shaping surgery” – its use here has no connection with plastics in the sense of synthetic polymer material. While the majority of cosmetic surgery comes under plastic surgery, most plastic surgery is not cosmetic surgery.”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) =


“Collagen is a group of naturally occurring proteins. In nature, it is found exclusively in animals, especially in the flesh and connective tissues of mammals.[1] It is the main component of connective tissue, and is the most abundant protein in mammals,[2] making up about 25% to 35% of the whole-body protein content. Collagen, in the form of elongated fibrils, is mostly found in fibrous tissues such as tendon, ligament and skin, and is also abundant in cornea, cartilage, bone, blood vessels, the gut, and intervertebral disc.In muscle tissue it serves as a major component of endomysium. Collagen constitutes 1% to 2% of muscle tissue, and accounts for 6% of the weight of strong, tendinous muscles.[3] Gelatin, which is used in food and industry, is collagen that has been irreversibly hydrolyzed.”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) =

Botulinum toxin

“Botulinum toxin is a protein produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum, and is extremely neurotoxic.[1][2] When introduced intravenously in monkeys, type A of the toxin exhibits an LD50 of 40-56 ng, type C1 around 32 ng, type D 3200 ng, and type E 88 ng, rendering the above types some of the most powerful neurotoxins known.[3] Popularly known by one of its trade names, Botox or Dysport, it is used for various cosmetic and medical procedures.”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) =

Bonus fact #1: Novel – “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

“The Picture of Dorian Gray is the only published novel by Oscar Wilde, appearing as the lead story in Lippincott’s Monthly Magazine on 20 June 1890, printed as the July 1890 issue of this magazine.[1] Wilde later revised this edition, making several alterations, and adding new chapters; the amended version was published by Ward, Lock, and Company in April 1891.[2] The title is sometimes rendered incorrectly as The Portrait of Dorian Gray.

The novel tells of a young man named Dorian Gray, the subject of a painting by artist Basil Hallward. Basil is impressed by Dorian’s beauty and becomes infatuated with him, believing his beauty is responsible for a new mode in his art. Dorian meets Lord Henry Wotton, a friend of Basil’s, and becomes enthralled by Lord Henry’s world view. Espousing a new hedonism, Lord Henry suggests the only things worth pursuing in life are beauty and fulfillment of the senses. Realizing that one day his beauty will fade, Dorian (whimsically) expresses a desire to sell his soul to ensure the portrait Basil has painted would age rather than himself. Dorian’s wish is fulfilled, plunging him into debauched acts. The portrait serves as a reminder of the effect each act has upon his soul, with each sin displayed as a disfigurement of his form, or through a sign of aging.[3]”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) =

Bonus Fact #2: Film (1945)  – “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

“Dorian Gray is a handsome, wealthy young man living in 19th century London. (While generally intelligent, he is naive and easily manipulated. These faults lead to his spiral into sin and, ultimately, misery.)

While posing for a painting by his friend Basil, Dorian meets Basil’s friend Lord Henry Wotton. Wotton is cynical and witty, and tells Dorian that the only life worth living is one dedicated entirely to pleasure. After Wotton convinces Dorian that youth and beauty will bring him everything he desires, Dorian openly wishes that his portrait could age instead of him. He makes this statement in the presence of a certain Egyptian statue, which supposedly has the power to grant wishes.

Dorian begins to realize the harm his life is doing to himself and to others. He is assaulted by James Vane, Sibyl’s brother, who had sworn revenge for his sister’s death. Dorian calmly tells James that he is too young to be the same man from eighteen years before. However, James soon learns the truth, but is shot during a hunting party at Dorian’s estate while hiding in the bushes. Dorian knows he is guilty for yet another death, and realizes that he can still spare Gladys from the misfortune he would certainly cause her. After leaving her a letter explaining himself, he returns to his old school room to face the painting. After stabbing his portrait in the heart to destroy his sins, Dorian collapses and dies, as he and the portrait were the same being.

Dorian’s body is found, but it is now the monstrous creature from the painting. The portrait once again depicts Dorian as a young, innocent man.”

… A corrupt young man somehow keeps his youthful beauty, but a special painting gradually reveals his inner ugliness to all.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) =

STUDY/STATISTICS: (U.S.A): Selected Cosmetic Plastic Surgerical and Nonsurgical Procedures

“Table 176. Selected Cosmetic Plastic Surgerical and Nonsurgical Procedures        
[In thousands (6,889.5 represents 6,889,500). As of December 31. The final data are projected to reflect nationwide statistics and are based on a survey of doctors who have been certified by the American Board of Medical Specialties recognized boards, including but not limited to the American Board of Plastic Surgery. Data for procedures include but are not limited to those performed by American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS) members. ASAPS members are plastic surgeons certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery who specialize in cosmetic surgery of the face and the entire body. Procedures are ranked by total number for the latest year shown]  
                                                              Year 2009
Total female procedures                        9,058.5
Total surgical procedures                     1,310.7
Breast augmentation                                312.0
Lipoplasty (Liposuction)                         243.2
Blepharoplasty (eyelid surgery)             124.9
Abdominoplasty (tummy tuck)               123.0
Breast reduction                                        113.5
Total nonsurgical procedures              7,747.8”

(Source: US Census) –

S & R* NEWS ALERT*: Facial Bones Show Signs of Aging Too; For Optimal Facial Rejuvenation, Plastic Surgeons Should Consider What’s Going on Under the Skin (For Immediate Release: January 04, 2011)

“ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, Ill. – What makes us look older? Wrinkles and sagging result not just from changes in the skin, but also from age-related changes in the underlying facial bones, according to a report in the January issue of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery®, the official medical journal of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS).

The researchers, led by Robert Shaw, Jr., MD, at the University of Rochester Medical Center, analyzed computed tomography scans of the facial bones in young (age 20 to 40), middle-aged (41 to 64), and older (65 and up) age groups. All scans were performed for medical reasons-not for planning plastic surgery….”

Source: The American Society of Plastic Surgeons) –


I admit it …  I’m vain. I have always wanted to look my absolute best. When I was a young woman, it was a matter of grooming, hair do, make-up, wardrobe, etc. But once middle-aged, I have often thought about plastic surgery: a face lift most of all. However, the older I got, the less I wanted to do it. It is an expensive surgery and of course the effects are not forever. And there are always risks with surgery. Indeed, last year, I heard of a young girl who went in for cosmetic surgery and died from complications after the operation.  

In addition, an old movie seen long ago had an impact. It was the “Picture of Dorian Gray”. The moral to me was that looking your best is good, but making it the all-consuming obsession is wrong. It also suggested that sometimes having your wish granted was not always satisfying afterwards. Interestingly enough, getting his youth extended only brought the protagonist in this movie much misery! 
As a result, I did not go ahead with plastic surgery. But a great number of people do proceed down this road. It is therefore a good idea to further inquire into this subject. 


Groucho Marx: Good Looks

“She got her good looks from her father,” Groucho Marx once remarked of an acquaintance. “He’s a plastic surgeon.”
(Source: –


Jane Fonda: Big Fat Hypocrite?

“I’m really appalled by what I see going on in plastic surgery in this country,” Jane Fonda once declared. “You can spot an inflated breast a mile away.” (The following year, Fonda had fat removed from around her eyelids. Then she had $5,000 worth of breast implants and reportedly had two ribs sawed off to make her look slimmer.)”
(Source: –

THE AUTHOR: Arthur W. Perry M.D., F.A.C.S. (& Robin Karol Levinson)

Dr. Perry secured a medical degree with distinction from Union’s Albany Medical College. He is a board certified plastic surgeon and a Clinical Associate Professor of plastic surgery at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in New Brunswick, N.J. He has practiced over 20 years as a clinical surgeon. He was named to several ‘Best’ lists of doctors. He knows a lot about suctioning fat, lifting faces, and injecting Botox.


Perry has hosted a:

  • Plastic surgery show (WOR (New York);
  • “YOU the Owners Manual Radio Show” (nationally syndicated)’;
  • “Looking in the Mirror” segments (WOR/Armed Forces radio networks).

Perry’s four books are:

  • “Are You Considering Cosmetic Surgery” (1997);
  •  “Straight Talk about Cosmetic Surgery” (2007);
  • “You – Being Beautiful”, (co-authored with Drs. Michael Roizen and Mehmet Oz and Ted Spiker, Craig Wynett, and Lisa Oz); and
  • “Real Life of a Surgeon” (2009).

THE BOOK: “Straight Talk about Cosmetic Surgery” (2007) by Arthur W. Perry M.D., F.A.C.S., Robin Karol Levinson

There are many means and procedures to improve appearance. Perry talks plastic (cosmetic) surgery. This is plain talk in little bites in response to questions put. You will know much more after reading this book. I think that it will help you decide if surgery is the right way for a new MORE beautiful you.


We live in a world where youth is seemingly everything. A great many  people are intent on remaining young. They search far and wide for the fountain of youth. They are desperate to look younger at any expense.

I acknowledge: (a) That a person can look younger with a face lift, so long as it is properly done; however, one can never have the look of a young person;  (b) That with Botox and Collagen injections, a person can have frown lines ironed out and folds filled in near the mouth – I understand that this is safe according to some studies.

But is plastic surgery the thing to do?

My personal comments

I am not envious. I have determined that, for me, the key is not to look younger, but to look good for my age. And I ask: “What happened to the notion of aging gracefully?”

While there are men who will have the surgery, women are the heavy weights in this game. In my view, there are several underlying causes.

Afraid of younger women:

One reason may be that females think that an older lady can never compete with a young woman.

Following the lead of stars

As well, females have an interest in the stars and tend to follow their lead. Indeed, plastic surgery is the custom and habit of the rich and famous. It is one of my TV- room pastimes, to speculate whether an actress has had the surgery. I also discuss the changing faces of celebrities with my girl friends and female work mates. Some look good; others look ridiculous.

The point

Plastic surgery is the wish of many women. A huge number have had one or more operations. Some are pleased with the results; others are not. For example, I think some women, who have Collagen injected into their lips, have swollen lips and look like guppies! Some also get very sick afterwards. Before going under the knife, it is best to research well, reflect about your reasoning and think long and hard.  

At this point in my life, I have developed my own personal strategy; I encourage every woman to:  

1. Take care of yourself – this is key. 
2. Live a healthy lifestyle; in other words, 
2.1 Refrain from and/or stop:  (a) Smoking – it has been proven to cause wrinkles. 
(b) Drinking – excessive drinking is a cause of aging. Instead, drink moderately.)  (c) Indulging in sunbathing – it can cause wrinkles. (Instead, cover up most of the time.)
3. Be active physically – exercise regularly. Indeed, if fit and firm, you will not only look good, but also, feel good about yourself; 
4. Eat right – eating healthy is a primary way to feeling young. 
5. Moisturize your skin daily  – this is also important. 
6. Take vitamins – this will supplement what you’re missing from your daily meals.
7. Think young. I believe that being young-spirited is what keeps people young. Indeed, Jack Benny had the right idea. He always claimed to be age 39.

8. Be comfortable with the notion of aging gracefully. I believe that wrinkles have been earned and show wisdom, experience and knowledge.

9. Opt for plastic surgery, only if and until, you have researched well and have: (a)  Extensive knowledge of the procedures and what’s involved;  (b) Full understanding of the risks; (c) Reasonable expectations over what the after picture will be; (d) Detailed data regarding the qualifications, experience and recommendations of the surgeon; etc.   

Not only do I want you to look good, I also want you to feel good! No matter what you decide, please let me know what happens.*

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*”
*TM/© 2011` Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on January 16th, 2011 2 Comments


Vol. 1,  No. 25, December 12th 2010



Continuing with the Christmas theme, I am now addressing gift buying. More precisely, the purchase of wearing apparel for adult females. This includes family, friends and yours truly. The perfect book on topic is “Freakin’ Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else [Hardcover] by Clinton Kelly. Hence, it is my book of the week.


For today, my word/phrase(s) are:  clothing, dress, fashion, fashion accessory, shoes, etc.

Clothing – (Gender differentiation)

It can be said that there are five primary factors in clothing comfort, “identifiable as the ‘4 Fs of Comfort’ (1) fashion; (2) feel; (3) fit; and (4) function.[3] One of the primary purposes of clothing is to keep the wearer comfortable. In hot climates, clothing provides protection from sunburn or wind damage, while in cold climates its thermal insulation properties are generally more important. Shelter usually reduces the functional need for clothing. For example, coats, hats, gloves, shoes, socks, and other superficial layers are normally removed when entering a warm home, particularly if one is residing or sleeping there. Similarly, clothing has seasonal and regional aspects, so that thinner materials and fewer layers of clothing are generally worn in warmer seasons and regions than in colder ones.

In most cultures, gender differentiation of clothing is considered appropriate for men and women. The differences are in styles, colors and fabrics.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)-


“A dress is a piece of clothing that women sometimes wear. A dress is like a shirt attached to a long, matching skirt, which may trail behind the wearer. They are also called gowns or frocks. There are many types of dresses. A dress is usually worn at formal occasions, such as a wedding or a dance. It is also worn in the summer to keep cool. In some places, men may wear dresses as part of their culture.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia –


“Fashion, a general term for a currently popular style or practice, especially in clothing, foot wear or accessories. Fashion references to anything that is the current trend in look and dress up of a person. The more technical term, costume, has become so linked in the public eye with the term “fashion” that the more general term “costume” has in popular use mostly been relegated to special senses like fancy dress or masquerade wear, while the term “fashion” means clothing generally, and the study of it. For a broad cross-cultural look at clothing and its place in society, refer to the entries for clothing, costume and fabrics. The remainder of this article deals with clothing fashions in the Western world.[1]

Fashion mostly refers to the style of clothing worn at a particular time. Clothing at its most basic is to keep us warm, but it serves many other functions. Fashion can also mean a style of language or behaviour. Fashions are a kind of nonverbal communication. They communicate something, but exactly what is something of a mystery. Often what they express is membership of a particular group.Fashions are like trends. They change more quickly than the entire culture. The term ‘fashion’ is often used a synonym for glamour and style. Sometimes the term is used in a negative sense, to mean a ‘fad’.There are fashions in many types of human activity and ways of thinking. There are fashions in architecture (the way people build houses) and interior design (the way people decorate inside their houses). There are fashions for clothing. There are fashions for dance and music, and for the way people speak. There are fashions for ideas.[change] Clothing fashions. Fashion is more than just a designer’s whim. Fashion is a reflection of a given time, socially, politically, economically, and artistically. The changing styles show just as much about history and the time period as any history book. It reflects on what people think, what they valued and how they lived. Fashion is a statement, a way of living. Fashion is used in different ways such as clothing, culture, religions etc. Clothes are not just for keeping warm!Fashion is a way to express one’s self. Many teenagers show their ideas and opinions by the way they look. They may want to look unique and individual, often to be a member of a group which looks unique. Fashion is superficial (on the surface) but as the outside of a person is the only bit that other people see, what they wear is meaningful. It helps people to make their first opinion of you and can influence the opinions and ideas of other people. Fashion has changed over the years, long dresses, miniskirts, and bell bottoms are examples of clothing items that were once in style. Clothing fashions that keep coming back in style are known as classics. Khaki pants, polo shirts, and simple dresses are all examples of classics. Eye makeup, Jewellery, hair styles, hats and shoes can all work together to create a fashion image, a total effect.”D&G” redirects here. For the region in south-west Scotland, see Dumfries and Galloway.Type Pr, D.Gelfond Industry Fashion Founded 1985 Headquarters Milan, Italy Products Clothing, footwear, handbags, sunglasses Employees 3,150 Website www.dolcegabbana.itDolce & Gabbana (Italian pronunciation: [&#712;dolt&#643;e e  &#609;ab&#712;ba&#720;na]), is an Italian luxury fashion house.[1]The company was started by the Italian designers Domenico Dolce & Stefano Gabbana in Milan, Italy. By 2005 their turnover was €750 million.[2] Their clothing designs are usually black in color and geometric in shape.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

Fashion accessory

“Fashion accessories are decorative items that supplement and complement clothes, such as jewelry, gloves, handbags, hats, belts, scarves, watches, sunglasses, pins, stockings, bow ties, leg warmers, leggings, neckties, suspenders, and tights.

Accessories can add color, style and class to an outfit, and create a certain look, but they can also have a practical function: handbags can be used to carry small items such as cash, hats protect the face in bad weather, and gloves keep hands warm.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –


“A shoe is an item of footwear intended to protect and comfort the human foot while doing various activities. Shoes are also used as an item of decoration. The design of shoes has varied enormously through time and from culture to culture, with appearance originally being tied to function. Additionally fashion has often dictated many design elements, such as whether shoes have very high heels or flat ones. Contemporary footwear varies widely in style, complexity and cost. Basic sandals may consist of only a thin sole and simple strap. High fashion shoes may be made of very expensive materials in complex construction and sell for thousands of dollars a pair. Other shoes are for very specific purposes, such as boots specially designed for mountaineering or skiing. Shoes have traditionally been made from leather, wood or canvas, but are increasingly made from rubber, plastics, and other petrochemical-derived materials.”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

Bonus fact #1: “Haute couture”

“Haute couture refers to the creation of exclusive custom-fitted clothing. Haute couture is made to order for a specific customer, and it is usually made from high-quality, expensive fabric and sewn with extreme attention to detail and finished by the most experienced and capable seamstresses, often using time-consuming, hand-executed techniques. Couture is a common abbreviation of haute couture and refers to the same thing in spirit.[1]

It originally referred to Englishman Charles Frederick Worth’s work, produced in Paris in the mid-nineteenth century.[2] In modern France, haute couture is a “protected name” that can be used only by firms that meet certain well-defined standards. However, the term is also used loosely to describe all high-fashion custom-fitted clothing, whether it is produced in Paris or in other fashion capitals such as Milan, London, New York, Tokyo and Madrid.

The term can refer to:
• the fashion houses or fashion designers that create exclusive and often trend-setting fashions
• the fashions created.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

Bonus fact #2: Little black dress

“A little black dress is an evening or cocktail dress, cut simply and often quite short. Fashion historians ascribe the origins of the little black dress to the 1920s designs of Coco Chanel,[1] intended to be long-lasting, versatile, affordable, accessible to the widest market possible and in a neutral color. Its ubiquity is such that it is often simply referred to as the “LBD”[2][3][4]

The “little black dress” is considered essential to a complete wardrobe by many women and fashion observers, who believe it a “rule of fashion” that every woman should own a simple, elegant black dress that can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion: for example, worn with a jacket and pumps for daytime business wear or with more ornate jewelry and accessories for evening. Because it is meant to be a staple of the wardrobe for a number of years, the style of the little black dress ideally should be as simple as possible: a short black dress that is too clearly part of a trend would not qualify because it would soon appear dated.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

STUDY/STATISTICS: High heeled footwear

“High-heeled footwear (often abbreviated as high heels or simply heels) is footwear that raises the heel of the wearer’s foot significantly higher than the toes and often can be worn without socks. When both the heel and the toes are raised equal amounts, as in a platform shoe, it is technically not considered to be a high heel; however, there are also high-heeled platform shoes. High heels tend to give the aesthetic illusion of longer, more slender and more toned legs. High heels come in a wide variety of styles, and the heels are found in many different shapes, including stiletto, pump (court shoe), block, tapered, blade, and wedge.

According to high-fashion shoe websites like Jimmy Choo and Gucci, a “low heel” is considered less than 2.5 inches (6 centimeters), while heels between 2.5 and 3.5 inches (8.5 cm) are considered “mid heels”, and anything over that is considered a “high heel”[citation needed]. A recent study suggested that wearing high heels may improve the muscle tone of a woman’s pelvic floor.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – (

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: Tips to turn Holiday Frazzle into Holiday Dazzle

“(NC)—With a Holiday calendar jam-packed with social obligations and last minute party invites, men and women can feel frazzled trying to get from one event to the next looking their dazzling best in a hurry. “No one likes to be rushed,” says Peter Papapetrou, Style Expert. “There are quick solutions to help jazz up a look with maximum impact and minimum stress, by keeping a few staple items at the office or in the car so you’re ready to go on the fly. For women, adding a bold accessory or an animal print scarf will add flare to any outfit. Men can loosen up their look by exchanging a tie for a scarf or putting on a pair of stylish sneakers.” (Source: News Canada)


It is important for me to be well-dressed. I have a few good suits and dresses, lots of pants and skirts of different basic colors along with blouses and sweaters to mix and match. In addition, I take the time to complete the outfit. I think about shoes and accessories.

I have a definitive taste when it comes to women’s wearing apparel: (a) formal attire; (b) sportswear; (c) jeans and leisure clothes; (d) sweats; (e) cruise; etc.

Antoinette’s dress code: I reject the notion of looking just nice and pretty. I strive for a look that is feminine, stylish and classy with a hint of sex appeal. For me, stylish means a little different: I have a handbag for which, I received many compliments from women. I have some hats in my wardrobe. My favorite color is red, yet I believe in understatement.  I like clothing that is simple, yet elegant, but always with a sense of fashion. Nevertheless, I also appreciate detailing on clothes. But for me, designer labels are of no consequence. I love to shop; this makes it easier for me to find the item that is just right.  Like many, I am on a budget. I am careful in my purchases.

I believe that every woman needs a little black dress – it is the basic essential. For me, I have several: a variety of styles and detail. Many times, I have pulled one out; and depending on the occasion, I altered the look. Adding a jacket will give an appearance of office wear and professionalism. Adding some nice jewelry, will dress up the outfit sufficient to go out on the town; and  “viola“, you look amazing!

As far as footwear goes, I am definitely hooked on the ‘strappy’ high heel shoes. I have a closet full of them. The problem is that they are not for everyday wear.  For the office, I have several pairs of pumps.


THE AUTHOR: Clinton Kelly

Clinton Kelly is a fashion expert. He is a spokesperson for Macy’s, the huge department store chain. He is a graduate in journalism and had stints at several noted fashion publications, including Marie Claire, Mademoiselle, and DNR.



A TV personality, he is the co-host of the program, “What Not to Wear” broadcast on the TLC channel. He is a critic and counselor all rolled up in one. If you’re a fashion incompetent, watch out, he takes no prisoners.

THE BOOK: “Freakin’ Fabulous: How to Dress, Speak, Behave, Eat, Drink, Entertain, Decorate, and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else” [Hardcover] by Clinton Kelly.

He has definite opinions as to what works and what does not. He is no lightwieght when it comes to getting dressed. According to him, “The three main components of style are: 1. Fit; 2. Proportion; 3. Appropriateness. ” He also provides HOW-TO directives as regards speaking, behaving, eating, drinking, entertaining, etc. He believes in the whole person doing things his way and thus achieving the exalted rank of fabulous.


It is important for everyone to be well-groomed and dressed appropriately according to the occasion.

My personal comments

I believe that one could decipher a person’s personality by how he or she is groomed and dressed. I like dresses that are feminine. I am not impressed by designer labels. I am of the opinion that people who are insistent on such labels, are shallow, status conscious and insecure. I also think that the type of shoes, which a woman wears, will tell you something of her personality. I really enjoy beautiful clothing & footwear!

Indeed, when it comes to women’s wear, daily, I am a main street focus group!  (un Classifieds 4U)*”

The point

I encourage everyone to do everything possible to look one’s best 24-7. To get there, I have a few pointers.


I suggest that you:

1. Recognize that before someone learns about you from the inside, he or she first sees your outside. (However, I caution you NOT to go overboard, since, in my opinion, what is inside is far more important!)
2. Pay attention to personal cleanliness: (i). Start with good daily hygiene and grooming; (ii). Have your hair cut/dyed regularly; (iii). Have dental care twice a year; (iv). Do your nails: do not bite them, but do cut them not to the quick and apply nail polish – my suggested color is red; while the French manicure is the preferred style;
3.  Plan your outfit beforehand, always keeping in tune, dress-wise, with the season, occasion, venue and time of the day; and lay it out on your bed the night before for a preview. It is like a puzzle – see if it fits together well,  if not, change the mix!

4. Find opportunities to dress-up; and take advantage of the times to dress down; each are fun;
5. Find out what best suits you to accentuate your figure and go with it;
6. Build a great wardrobe;  to do this, (a) Buy a few pieces every season to add to your closet stock – this is to look fashionable; (b) Hold off to the sales, if at all possible;  (c) Buy something that may be worn as part of many outfits; (d) Look for quality:  fabrics,  strong/straight seams, etc.; (e) Try on the garment, before you buy it, to make sure that it fits; (f) Allow for shrinkage from washing; (g)  Look for overstocks and specials; (h) Browse for bargains for next year especially end-of-season items of good quality; (i) Try to maximize your buying dollar by using your gift cards on/during Boxing day or weeks (after Christmas sales).
7. Buy a little black dress and always keep it dry- cleaned ready for anything – it will become a reliable staple in your wardrobe;
8. Complete the outfit with the right shoes and accessories – they will help you achieve the look that you want;
9. Strive for a younger look, but if of a certain age, know that there are certain fashions better left for teenagers even if you have the figure for it.
10. Conserve your wardrobe by proper maintenance:  (a) Wash/dry-clean regularly; (b) Use garment  bags for your better clothes;  (b) Follow the instructions on the label; etc.
11. Be aware that primping is time well spent. When all put together right, one looks distinguished and oozes confidence.

12. Recognize:  (a) That looking your best on a 1st date is key; (b) That your appearance at an interview will make a difference in getting a job; hence on these occasions particularly, dress to the nines!

13. Remember that looking good makes you feel good;

I like to get all dolled-up, don’t you?

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*”

*TM/© 2010 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on December 12th, 2010 Comments Off on “WOMEN’S WEAR: DAILY, I AM A MAIN STREET FOCUS GROUP! (Un Classifieds 4U)*”


Vol. 1,  No. 20, October 27th, 2010


My book of the week is:”Disclosure” by Michael Crichton. Hence my topic is sexual harassment.


For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “Sexual harassment“.

Sexual harassment

It is intimidationbullying or coercion of a sexual nature, or the unwelcome or inappropriate promise of rewards in exchange for sexual favors.[1]

(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia)

Bonus fact #1: Origin of the term

“The term sexual harassment was used in 1973 by Dr Mary Rowe in a report to the then President and Chancellor of MIT about various forms of gender issues. … In the book In Our Time: Memoir of a Revolution (1999), journalist Susan Brownmiller quotes the Cornell activists who in 1975 thought they had coined the term sexual harassment: “Eight of us were sitting in an office … brainstorming about what we were going to write on posters for our speak-out. We were referring to it as ‘sexual intimidation,’ ‘sexual coercion,’ ‘sexual exploitation on the job.’ None of those names seemed quite right. We wanted something that embraced a whole range of subtle and un-subtle persistent behaviors. Somebody came up with ‘harassment.’ ‘Sexual harassment!’ Instantly we agreed. That’s what it was.” (p. 281)” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).

Bonus fact #1-A: Occurrences

“Sexual harassment can occur in a variety of circumstances. Often, but not always, the harasser is in a position of power or authority over the victim (due to differences in age, or social, political, educational or employment relationships). Forms of harassment relationships include:

  • The harasser can be anyone, such as a client, a co-worker, a teacher or professor, a student, a friend, or a stranger.
  • The victim does not have to be the person directly harassed but can be anyone who finds the behavior offensive and is affected by it.
  • While adverse effects on the victim are common, this does not have to be the case for the behavior to be unlawful.
  • The victim can be any gender. The harasser can be any gender.
  • The harasser does not have to be of the opposite sex.
  • The harasser may be completely unaware that his or her behavior is offensive or constitutes sexual harassment or may be completely unaware that his or her actions could be unlawful. Adapted from the U.S. EEOC definition
  • Misunderstanding between Female-Male Communication: It can result from a situation where one thinks he/she is making themselves clear, but is not understood the way they intended. The misunderstanding can either be reasonable or unreasonable. An example of unreasonable is when a man holds a certain stereotypical view of a woman such that he did not understand the woman’s explicit message to stop.(Heyman, 1994)

One of the difficulties in understanding sexual harassment is that it involves a range of behavior, and is often difficult for the recipient to describe to themselves, and to others, exactly what they are experiencing. Moreover, behavior and motives vary between individual harassers” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).

Bonus fact #2: Types of sexual harassment

“There is often more than one type of harassing behavior present, so a single harasser may fit more than one category.” The type classifications are as follows.

  • “Power-player
  • Mother/Father Figure (a.k.a. The Counselor-Helper)
  • One-of-the-Gang
  • Serial Harasser
  • Opportunist
  • Bully
  • Confidante
  • Situational Harasser
  • Pest
  • Great Gallant
  • Intellectual Seducer
  • Unintentional” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).


Canadian stats

Some are as follows.

” * One in four women and one in ten men have experienced some form of sexual harassment in the workplace. (Saskatchewan Women’s Secretariat.)

* 87% of Canadian women report experiencing sexual harassment. (Statistics Canada: Violence Against Women Survey, November, 1993.)

* 43% of all Canadian women have been sexually harassed at work.

* 8% of those who are harassed at work report the harassment. (The Way Forward: Rethinking the Problem of Workplace Sexual Harassment, 2002, Sexual Assault Centre London.)

* 8 out of 10 female students said they had been sexually harassed at school. (“The Joke’s Over – Student to Student Sexual Harassment in Secondary Schools”, published by The Ontario Women’s Directorate, The Ontario Secondary School Teachers Federation and the Ministry of Education, (1995))” (Source:

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1:  Fernando Flores v. Britney Spears

Fernando Flores, ex-policeman and former bodyguard, launched a lawsuit against Britney Spears, alleging that she repeatedly paraded herself around in the nude and had sex in front of him. In the suit, he alleges that the star caused him “shock, horror and disgust” after she bent over in front of him and exposed herself. He also made claims about her treatment of her two kids. He demanded damages due to distress. The star’s position, as per statement released on her web site, was:

“This lawsuit is another unfortunate situation where someone is trying to take advantage of the Spears family and make a name for himself.  The Department of Children and Family Services conducted a proper investigation surrounding Mr. Flores’ accusations and have closed the case without any further action. Ms. Spears and her attorneys have every expectation that this matter will be dismissed by the courts” (Source: Thursday, Sept. 9, 2010).

(Editor’s Note:  These are only allegations – we caution readers that as of now they are not proven.  We have no further news as of yet as to the progress or outcome of the case. To the best of our knowledge, what we do know is that a suit has been filed and Spears made the above statement in response via the Internet. This said, at least this matter  brings sexual harassment to the public’s attention.)

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Registry of lechers in the workplace

A Las Vegas web site e-BossWatch has launched a “National Sexual Harassment Registry”. It lists persons accused of sexual harassment in the workplace. It allows people to anonymously rate their bosses online. I think that it may be helpful to stop this seedy behavior; but I am uncomfortable about people making wild unsubstantiated allegations anonymously. I also have privacy concerns (Source:  Leung, Wency “Registry of lechers in the workplace”, The Globe and Mail, Tuesday, July 27, 2010, pg L3).


While I have not faced this particular challenge, I have spoken to some who have experienced such and I asked questions.

This is not a behavior without victims. Today, I give you four real life victims.

Victim #1: A young college girl had a part-time job in a grocery store. The owner’s son harassed this young woman by touching her and making suggestive remarks. As a result, she started distancing herself from him. However, he still didn’t get the message. At a certain point, she filed a complaint with the union. In the end, with no help or relief forthcoming, she quit. The harasser, unchecked, caused the employer to lose a good employee.

Victim #2: Another young lady I knew, employed in a school, was continually harassed by a teacher, 20-years her senior. He brought her gifts and invited her for lunch. She consistently and repeatedly refused his offers. He carried on non-stop. She next filed a complaint with the school. While the harasser finally got the message and stopped his advances, the young woman had suffered inappropriate behavior for much too long.

Victim #3: A woman was the supervisor of a certain married man. She repeatedly made advances towards him. Embarassed, his initial approach was to laugh it off, hoping that she would get the message. She persisted – her offers did not stop. His remedy was to transfer out of the department.  The harasser, unchecked, caused the department to lose a good employee.

Victim #4: My daughter then of  junior college age, told me about a classmate who was sexually harassed by a teacher. I understood that she found this very upsetting. She lodged a complaint. Initially, the complainant thought that it was swept under the proverbial rug. For a time, it was kept quiet.  Eventually, the system worked and the teacher was told to resign.

(Editor’s note: Due to the delicate nature of this topic, some facts were changed to mask identities.)

THE AUTHOR: John Michael Crichton

Big in stature – he was 6′ 9″; this did not explain the magnitude of this remarkable gentleman (born on  October 23, 1942) – he passed away on November 4, 2008. He was educated, graduating from Harvard, undergraduate and then medical school. This MD became a writer, screenwriter, producer and director. Indeed he was a prolific author. His stories and characters dot our pop culture through the years and are icons, being a part of my frame of reference. Such are continuing to charm the next generations. He was a true giant through his extensive body of work, variety and also the success achieved through skill, hard work, being in tune with his audience and the shrewd perception of commercial viability.

(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia)



Michael Crichton’s novels include Andromedia Strain, The Terminal Man, Congo, Sphere, Jurassic Park, Disclosure and Rising Sun, to name a few.


Andromeda Strain: The movie of the techno-thriller tells the story of a team of scientists investigating a deadly ET micro-organism.

Jurassic Park:The movie of the dino-thriller theorizes about the possibility of dinosaurs’ being recreated by genetic engineering. Stephen Spielberg directed the blockbuster. There were several sequels. What a spectacle to behold. And it was very entertaining to boot.

Disclosure: The movie pitted Demi Moore against Michael Douglas, no lightweights here. The movie brought the story to life. It worked for me!

THE BOOK: “Disclosure” by Michael Crichton.

The book first hits you over the head with the surprising reversal of roles in the sexual harassment equation. The woman is the aggressor. Flirting was not spoken there. It was a full blown seduction. Sparks were flying. Next, it elaborates the difficulty on several levels suffered upon the victim, a man, as for example: (a) career/business; (b) marriage; (c) children/family; etc. The complexity of this very human dilemma was laid bare.

Readers lived the discomfort through the victim and then the escalating angst and frustration all the way to full-blown war, such with a slice of misinformation to add even more spice to an already hot meatball of a story. The real plus is that it gets you to think about this wretched behavior. It is a great yarn ; if you pick it up, you will be a winner!


My personal comments

When toddlers are brought to nursery pre-school and then to kindergarden, the theory is that they will start the socialization process. As they grow up, the plan is that they will learn appropriate behavior with others particularly with the opposite sex.  They will learn that there is a time and place for everything. When older, they will learn what and when flirting and romancing are acceptable.

At the workplace, I do not understand how someone in management with a supervisory position, seemingly loses all intelligence, common sense and propriety. These aggressors cross the line without any regard for others.

This said, a person, more often a man, might compliment a victim, more often a woman annoying at first, then later much worse. In the workplace, this isn’t appropriate. Many Human Resources (HR) centers have policies in place for this problem. It is also illegal in many jurisdictions.

Most people agree that sexual harassment is wrong and must be stopped. In my view, a perpetrator should be reported. A person who repeatedly mis-speaks and/or acts without gentility is lacking social skills or more. He or she has a problem and deserves one or more of the following: (a) a good dressing down by the boss or supervisor; (b) a complaint filed against him or her at the Human Resources (HR) department; (c) a letter put in his or her personnel file; (d) a proper office etiquette training, as ordered by his or her employer; (e) a criminal complaint made and/or charge brought; (f) a civil claim filed in court seeking a condemnation for damages; etc.

Nevertheless, I do not want to rain on your parade, but in my view, it is VERY hard to live through sexual harassment and also to prove it at the inquiry/hearing .

The point

Unfortunately, sexual harassment exists and does occur in the workplace. I have reflected. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Be on guard for unwanted romantic talk/innuendo, advances, physical contact: touching, etc.;

2. Do not ignore not a single incident as one unchecked, with the perpetrator emboldened, leads to another and so on;

3.Say, lightly, breezily, but clearly, that the perpetrator’s words and/or acts make you uncomfortable; and say: “Once advised, now knowing how I feel, I am certain that you (the perpetrator) will stop;

4. Inquire as to whether your: (a) Firm or organization has a policy against sexual harassment;(b) Country, state/province, etc. have laws against sexual harassment; etc.

5. Seek out community support groups for sexual harassment victims;

4. Be respectful, but firmly state, if the behavior continues, that you did not like the remark or act. And then add:  “I ask you to please respect my wishes and immediately stop this behavior.”

5. Use passive aggressive behavior to counter this harrassment;

6. Think long and hard before going above the head of the perpetrator; but do so, if there is no other way;

Indeed, I give sexual harassment a rating of “R” for revolting. Let us obliterate sexual harassment at work or wherever. Are you with me?

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

*TM/© 2010 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.