Archive for January, 2011

“Gender gap in education; I have some thoughts/ideas!*”

Vol. 1,  No. 32, January 30, 2011

TITLE: “GENDER GAP IN EDUCATION; I have some thoughts/ideas!*”  

INTRODUCTION

My book of the week is: “Male, female: The evolution of human sex differences (1998, now in second edition. 2010)” by David C. Geary. Hence, my topic this week is the perplexing problem of girls’ surpassing boys in educational achievement.

IT WORDS FOR ME!*
For today, my word/phrase(s) are:  “Gender difference”, “Education”; etc.

Gender difference
“Sociology
Gender role theory
Gender role theory posits that boys and girls learn the appropriate behavior and attitudes from the family and overall culture they grow up with, and so non-physical gender differences are a product of socialization.

Intelligence
Many recent studies have concluded that IQ performances of men and women vary little.[6][7][8][9] Other studies show a greater variance in the IQ performance of men compared to that of women, i.e. men are more represented at the extremes of performance, and less represented at the median.[8][10][11]”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_difference

Education
“Education in the largest sense is any act or experience that has a formative effect on the mind, character or physical ability of an individual. In its technical sense, education is the process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated knowledge, skills and values from one generation to another.

Etymologically, the word education is derived from educare (Latin) “bring up”, which is related to educere “bring out”, “bring forth what is within”, “bring out potential” and ducere, “to lead”.[1]”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Education

STUDY/STATISTICS

United States

2000 Census- 281.4 million: 138.1 million male; 143.4 million female)

(Source: US Census Bureau) – http://www.census.gov/prod/2001pubs/c2kbr01-9.pdf
155.8 million The number of females in the United States as of Oct. 1, 2009. The number of males was 151.8 million.
Source: Population estimates <
http://www.census.gov/popest/national/asrh/2008-nat-res.html>

At 85 and older, there were more than twice as many women as men.”
Source: Population estimates <
http://www.census.gov/popest/national/asrh/NC-EST2008-sa.html>
(Source: US Census Bureau) –
http://search.census.gov/search?q=cache:1hzVShsZdo0J:www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/cb10-ff03.html+males+and+females+2010&output=xml_no_dtd&ie=UTF-8&client=default_frontend&proxystylesheet=default_frontend&site=census&access=p&oe=ISO-8859-1

Bonus fact #1: Sex discrimination

“Gender and education, from a sociological perspective, refers to the idea that the educational system does not offer the same type of opportunities for upward mobility to both genders equally. This is a type of sex discrimination being applied in the education system affecting both men and women during and after their educational experiences.[1]
At all levels women are achieving higher representation and success. At the post-secondary level women are earning most of the degrees awarded.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_and_education

Bonus fact #2: “Forms of Sex Discrimination in Education

Sex discrimination in education is applied to women in several ways. First, many sociologists of education view the educational system as an institution of social and cultural reproduction. The existing patterns of inequality, especially for gender inequality, are reproduced within schools through formal and informal processes.[2]

A recent study published in Time Magazine showed that when comparing young, unattached women against similarly situated men, women tend to earn up to 20% more than their male counterparts.[3]

Another way the educational system discriminates towards females is through course-taking, especially in high school. This is important because course-taking represents a large gender gap in what courses males and females take, which leads to different educational and occupational paths between males and females. For example, females tend to take fewer advanced mathematical and scientific courses, thus leading them to be ill-equipped to pursue these careers in higher education. This can further be seen in technology and computer courses.[4]

Also, cultural norms may also be a factor causing sex discrimination in education. For example, society suggests that women should be mothers and be responsible for the bulk of child rearing. Therefore, women feel compelled to pursue educational pathways that lead to occupations that allow for long leaves of absences, so they can be stay at home mothers.[5]

Furthermore, the idea of a hidden curriculum further adds to the discrimination of women in the educational system. The hidden curriculum refers to the idea that teachers interact and teach each of their students in a way that reinforces relations of gender, as well as race and social class.[6] For example, teachers may give more attention to boys, resulting in them becoming more social, whereas girls become quieter and learn that they should be passive and defer to boys.[7] Students are also being socialized for their expected adult roles through the correspondence principle of sociology through schools. For example, girls may be encouraged to learn skills valued in female-dominated fields, while boys might learn leadership skills for male-dominated occupations.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_and_education

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1:  ECAR on Gender-Submitted by Kim Michaud (Halifax Regional School Board) on March 19, 2010 – 3:15pm.

“Within the span of time to complete an undergraduate degree, technology changes abound; students have access to technologies leaving university which were not even on the market when they began their post-secondary experience. For this reason alone, the types of surveys conducted by ECAR and the questions asked within those surveys are ever evolving as well. However, ECAR has found that students’ beliefs, views and opinions about technology, thus far have shown consistency even as available technologies change and grow. Some views are positive, some are negative. This means that the implementation of new technologies as teaching tools may need to occur in increments to ensure that all learners are learning.
ECAR categorizes learners, in terms of adoption of new technologies, as innovators, early adopters, mainstream adopters, late adopters and laggards. The percentages for each category routinely fall on a bell curve, and the 2009 results continued in this fashion, with 51% of respondents identifying as mainstream adopters. Of interest is a noticeable gender gap: more than half of the men identified as innovators or early adopters, and only ¼ of the women identified in these categories. The ECAR study notes that some studies claim the gender gap is lessening as learners are exposed more often to technology; however the study also notes that there are studies contradictory to this view. Within the ECAR study, not only is there a gender difference in technology adoption practices, there is also a gender difference in technology preferences. Females have a lower rate of use for audio and video creation and multi-user gaming than males, to the extent that two times as many males as females use video creation and multi-user gaming.
Two studies mentioned here have found that the gender gap is lessening, while yet another study still sees a divide. Ono and Zavodny (2004) found that gender differences in computer and Internet usage in Japan and US countries were significant during the mid-1990s; however, by 2001these gender differences had virtually disappeared in the United States but remained in Japan. Miller, Schweingruber and Brandenburg’s (2001) article suggests a reduction in the scope of previous gender gaps with regard to computer access, use, and perceived expertise.Voyles, Fossum, and Haller (2008) found that girls and boys continue to differ in a number of ways in terms of learning style and comfort with technology.
The question remains whether the gap is staying or shrinking.”
KIM

(Source: ECAR) – http://www.educause.edu/Resources/TheECARStudyofUndergraduateStu/187215

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2:  “America’s Education Gender Gap” by Bill Costello
“In  American schools, boys are underachieving and girls are excelling. This gender gap in academic achievement is evident as early as kindergarten. The longer students are in school, the wider the gap becomes.
Boys are more likely than girls to earn poor grades, be held back a grade, have a learning disability, form a negative attitude toward school, get suspended or expelled, and drop out of school.
The education gender gap is affecting colleges, the workforce, the marriage rate, and the fatherlessness rate in America.
Women outnumber men in college by four to three. Four decades ago, men outnumbered women in college by four to three. The tipping point occurred in the late 1970s. Not only are men less likely than women to go to college, they’re also less likely to graduate once there.
Among 25-to-29-year-olds, 33 percent of women have earned at least a bachelor’s degree compared with just 23 percent of men. This is the first generation of women to be more educated than their male counterparts.
This shift means that women will increasingly get the highly paid jobs while men will experience a drop in earnings. This is already happening. Men in their 30s are the first generation to earn significantly less income than their fathers’ did at the same age.
As jobs that require little education increasingly shrink, more and more men will become unemployed. In the current economy, unemployment is higher and rising faster for men than for women.
As the ratio of college-educated women to college-educated men continues to grow, increasingly fewer college-educated women are able to find men they’d like to marry.
Many of these women are choosing not to marry at all rather than marry men of lower education who are likely to earn significantly less than they do.
This is not to say that college-educated women and less educated men never get married. But these marriages tend not to last. Marriages are more likely to end in divorce when wives earn more than their husbands.
This is increasingly becoming a problem. Thirty years ago, wives earned more than their husbands in 16 percent of marriages. Now it’s 25 percent and continuing to rise. At the current rate of change, by 2050 nearly half of the married women will earn more than their husbands.”

(Source: Washington Free Express) –  http://wafreepress.org/article/100906_education_gender_costello.shtml

MY LIFE & TIMES*
 
 In the past, the boys were the priority. In my family, my mother encouraged my brothers to attend university and pursue higher studies. The mentality was that boys will someday have to support a wife and family.  That was then.  But things have changed. Girls have become equally a priority.

I have two daughters. I wanted them to be independent. I recognized that a good education would give them that. I am happy to say that they both have achieved university degrees and today, they each have an excellent job. 

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #1: Battle of the Sexes

“Much of this talk about feminism is nonsense,” Beatrice Webb was told one day. “Any woman would rather be beautiful than clever.” “Quite true,” she replied, “but that is because so many men are stupid and so few are blind!”
[Sources: Daily Express, Oct. 14, 1947; ananova.com, Sept. 2003]
(Source:
www.anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=2492

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #2: Battle of the Sexes

“In September 1973, Bobby Riggs (once the world’s top-ranked tennis player) challenged Billie Jean King, the reigning women’s champion, to a historic ‘Battle of the Sexes’ match. “I want to set Women’s Lib back twenty years, to get women back in the home where they belong,” Riggs declared, adding that women are prettiest when they are barefoot, pregnant, doing housework, and taking care of the kids.”
(Source:
www.anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=4649

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #3: Superior Sex

Nancy Astor devoted much of her career to the battle for women’s rights. While some of her colleagues in the House of Commons supported her, many were offended by Lady Astor’s attitudes, particularly her opinion that it was unnecessary for her – as a member of the … sex – to prove herself before her male colleagues. “I married beneath me,” Astor once explained. “All women do.”

[Trivia: “I think God made woman foolish,” Helen Keller once remarked, “so that she might be a suitable companion to man.”]
Astor, Nancy Witcher Langhorne, Viscountess (1879-1964) American-born English politician, British MP [noted for her frequent run-ins with Winston Churchill]
[Sources: Davis and Weaver, Dictionary of National Biography]
(Source:
www.anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=543
 

S & R* QUOTE #1:- Sidonie Gruenberg

“Home is the place where boys and girls first learn how to limit their wishes, abide by rules, and consider the rights and needs of others.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/education/index3.html
 

S & R* QUOTE #2:- – Gloria Steinem

“The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn.”

 (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/education/index3.html
 

THE AUTHOR:  David C. Geary 

David C. Geary is a cognitive developmental psychologist. In 1986, he graduated with a Ph.D. from the University of California at Riverside. He was on faculty at the University of Texas at El Paso. Now at the University of Missouri, in Columbia, he is a Curators’ Professor and the Thomas Jefferson Professor in the Department of Psychological Sciences. He is a respected author with many articles/chapters published. He is a lecturer/speaker in the United States, Canada, Europe, etc. This gentleman knows what he is talking about!   

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books

They are:

  • “Children’s mathematical development” (1994/sole-authored);
  • “Male, female: The evolution of human sex differences” (1998, now in second edition. 2010/sole-authored); and
  • “The origin of mind: Evolution of brain, cognition, and general intelligence” (2005/sole-authored),
  • Sex differences: Summarizing more than a century of scientific research (Ellis et al., 2008/co-authored).

Book chapters

Several are:  

 
 
 

  • Geary, D. C. (2006). Development of mathematical understanding. In D. Kuhl & R. S. Siegler (Vol. Eds.), Cognition, perception, and language, Vol 2 (pp. 777–810). W. Damon (Gen. Ed.), Handbook of child psychology (6 th Ed.). New York: John Wiley & Sons. Full text
  • Geary, D. C. (2006). Coevolution of paternal investment and cuckoldry in humans. In T. K. Shackelford & S. Platek (Eds.), Female infidelity and paternal uncertainty (pp. 14–34). New York: Cambridge University Press. Full text
  • Geary, D. C. (2006). Dyscalculia at an Early Age: Characteristics and Potential Influence on Socio-Emotional Development. In R.E. Tremblay & R.D. Peters (Eds.), Encyclopedia on Early Childhood Development [online]. Montreal, Quebec: Center of Excellence for Early Childhood Development; 1-4. Full text
  •  (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_C._Geary

    THE BOOK:”Male,female:The evolution of human sex differences”(1998, now in 2nd edition 2010) byDavid C.Geary
    Dr. Geary confirms some of our suspicions, notably: (a) That girls tend to earn better grades in school than boys; (b) That it is more probable that more men will earn degrees in the fields of science, technology, engineering, and mathematics; (c) That men are more likely to be injured in accidents and fights than women; etc. He comes to these conclusions through formal and informal means. He came up with an evolutionary model to explain human sex differences. He looks to the animal kigdom for clues. For him, on account of female choices and male-male competition, etc., there are typical selections by gender. In the current update published in 2010, Geary went further. He considered fatherhood/parenting, gender typical behavior in mating, factoring in culture, genetics, hormones, etc.

    CONCLUSION

    Education is important for both sexes.  There shouldn’t be a difference in educational achievement between boys and girls. 
     
    My personal comments
     
     I have now become aware of the phenomenon of the gender gap in education. As I understand, the girls are ahead. Since I was a mothers of only girls – I am not an expert on the schooling of boys. My perception is that, in a way like affirmative action, the focus was on little girls rather than little boys. One of my daughters, a school teacher, has a different theory. She believes that boys don’t do as well as girls as there are, at present, few male teachers in elementary and high schools.  I am passionate about the importance of quality education!    
    Whatever the cause of the imbalance, we all must act in order to correct this. (N.B. We also need to eliminate the last vestiges of the glass ceiling at work.)
     
    Antoinette’s Tip Sheet*
    I believe that parents and educators should:   
    1. Treat children equally regardless of gender;
    2. Eliminate all barriers between boys and girls, particularly when it comes to early learning; in this regard,
    2.1 Encourage all kids to read as early as possible; 
    2.2 Invite girls to participate in math, science and sports;
    2.3 Recognize that unfortunately, a teacher’s insensitive approach could affect the confidence of a child. (N.B. All young students should be told to ask questions. All questions should be well received and answered in a positive fashion. No one should ever be made to feel stupid. Indeed, there are no stupid questions. 
    3. Research and become more knowledgeable about education in general and successful learning programs in particular;   
    4. Recognize that a child, pursuing his or her preferred interests and not those of parents, will probably result in greater achievement; 
    5. Make the education of your child a priority; in this regard,
    5.1 Show interest in his or her schooling;
    5.2 Talk to your child in order to discover likes and dislikes; and listen intently to him or her;
    5.3 Figure out what your child’s strength(s) are;
    5.4 Attend school meetings and teacher-parent nights;
    6. Pay attention to grades, pointing out the positives and asking your child for greater effort as regards the negatives.
    7. Get him or her tutoring help as needed;   
    8. Make a big fuss over a student’s good grades – it is imporatnt to instil in the child a sense of empowerment and also pride in his or her ability to achieve great things! (Indeed, if a child thinks that he or she can do it – he or she will do it!)   

    I have to go now. I am going to give a sharpened pencil and a fresh practice book to a youngster and watch him or her do great things. If you are with me, please do likewise. 

    Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

    And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
    ALP
    “Books are life; and they make life better!*”
    CREDITS
    -Web Tech:  richmediasound.com

    The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

    *TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

    Posted by on January 30th, 2011 3 Comments

    RECIPE: “Antoinette’s Famous Zucchini & Eggs*”

     

    Volume 1, No. 9, This 29th Day of January, 2011
    CUCINA D’ANTONIETTA*
    (Antonietta’s Kitchen*)
    “the art of food, wine, family & more*”
    By Antonietta La Posta
     
    TITLE: “ZUCCHINE E UOVA FAMOSO DI ANTONIETTA*” 

    (“Antoinette’s Famous Zucchini & Eggs*”)

    INTRODUCTION
    Eggs are a staple. They go with ham, bacon or sausage. They are also served with pancakes and hash browns. I believe in thinking out of the box. Here’s a thought – make eggs with zucchinis. I call it Zucchini & Eggs, my way! I think it has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
     
    MY LIFE & TIMES*
     
    My mother made this dish for my brothers and me when we were growing up and I loved it. Now an adult,  when I come home at the end of the day and want to make something easy, light and nutritious, this is the perfect dish. Served with a portion of meat, it makes for a delicious meal. Eggs along with vegetable is great for an evening meal, especially if is a little late. I like dinner with a hint of breakfast. It works well!
     
    SAVORY INGREDIENTS PLUS*
     
    Zucchini
     
    “The zucchini (pronounced /zʊˈkiːni/, plural: zucchini or zucchinis; from Italian: zucchina or zucchino, plural: zucchine pronounced /zʊˈkiːnay/) or courgette (/kʊərˈʒɛt/ or /kɔrˈʒɛt/, plural: courgettes) is a popularly cultivated summer squash which often grows to nearly a meter in length, but which are usually harvested at half that size or less. Along with some other squashes, it belongs to the species Cucurbita pepo. The word zucchini is the Italian name for the plant, which is why it is the more common name in Italy (zucchina/ -zucchine/i), but also in North America, Australia and Germany, while courgette is the French name for the vegetable and is more commonly used in France, but also in Ireland, the United Kingdom, Greece, New Zealand, the Netherlands, Belgium, Portugal and South Africa. Zucchini can be dark or light green, and generally have a similar shape to a ridged cucumber, although some round varieties are also available. A related hybrid, the golden zucchini is a deep yellow or orange color.[1]

    In a culinary context, zucchini is treated as a vegetable, which means it is usually cooked and presented as a savory dish or accompaniment. Botanically, however, the zucchini is an immature fruit, being the swollen ovary of the female zucchini flower.”

    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zucchini

    Oil (corn)
     

    “Corn oil or Maize oil is oil extracted from the germ of corn (maize). Its main use is in cooking, where its high smoke point makes refined corn oil a valuable frying oil. It is also a key ingredient in some margarines.[citation needed] Corn oil is generally less expensive than
    most other types of vegetable oils.[citation needed] One bushel of corn contains 1.55 pounds of corn oil (2.8% by weight).[citation  needed] Corn agronomists have developed high-oil varieties; however, these varieties tend to show lower field yields, so they are not
    universally accepted by growers. The first commercial corn oil for cooking purposes was extracted in 1898 and 1899 by machinery invented by Theodore Hudnut and Benjamin Hudnut of the Hudnut Hominy Company of Terre Haute, Indiana, and called “mazoil”.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_oil 

    Why do I prefer Mazola brand corn oil?
     

    First, it is a light oil, 100% pure, cholesterol free. Second, it comes in my preferred size: 128 fluid onces/1 gallon. Third, it is a long- established brand and it is reasonably priced.
     
    Eggs
     
    “On the left a chicken egg, the egg most commonly eaten by humans, and on the right two quail eggs. Eggs laid by females of many different species, including birds, reptiles, amphibians, and fish, have been eaten by mankind for millennia. Bird and reptile eggs consist of a protective eggshell, albumen (egg white), and vitellus (egg yolk), contained within various thin membranes. Egg yolks and whole eggs store a lot of protein and choline.[1][2] For this reason, the USDA (United States Department of Agriculture) categorizes eggs as Meats within the Food Guide Pyramid[1]”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egg_(food)

    Why do I prefer large size/brand
     
    I prefer large size because it is a perfect size – it makes the right amount. I like PRESTIGE CLUB PACK from Burnbrae Farms because these eggs are good quality and fresh.

    HANDY APPLIANCES, UTENSILS, GADGETS, ETC.*
     
    To make my zucchini & eggs, you need a frying pan.
     
    Frying pan
     
    “A frying pan, frypan, or skillet is a flat-bottomed pan used for frying, searing, and browning foods. It is typically 20 to 30 cm (8 to 12 inch) in diameter with relatively low sides that flare outwards, a long handle, and no lid. Larger pans may have a small grab handle opposite the main handle.
     
    A pan of similar dimensions, but with vertical sides and often with a lid, is called a sauté pan or sauté. While a sauté pan can be used like a frying pan, it is designed for lower heat cooking methods such as sautéing.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frying_pan

    Why do I prefer this type of pan
     
    I prefer this pan because it’s cooks well and the zucchini does not stick to the pan.

    ANTONIETTA’S RECIPE OF THE WEEK: “ZUCCHINE E UOVA FAMOSO DI ANTONIETTA*”
     
    SPECIFICATIONS – INGREDIENTS
     
    • 6 zucchinis 
    • 2 tbsps. vegetable oil
    • 4 eggs
    • salt & pepper
     

    DIRECTIONS
     
    1. Cut zucchini – slices approx. 1/4 inch;
    2. Put vegetable oil in frying pan;

    3. Place zucchini slices in pan;
    4. Cook at medium heat till slightly brown;
    5. Beat 4 eggs in a bowl;
    6. Pour eggs into frying pan;
    7. Add salt & pepper to taste;
    8. Cook until eggs are ready and zucchinis are slightly brown;
     
    LAST BITE*
     
    It is like a favorite blouse – zucchini & eggs goes well with just about anything. My family loves this sidedish. I am sure that your family will like it too. Good eating!
     
    Take this dish out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
    And that’s my food favorite for the week – what’s yours? *
    ALP CREDITS
    -Web Tech: richmediasound.com
    The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
    *TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

    Posted by on January 29th, 2011 Comments Off on RECIPE: “Antoinette’s Famous Zucchini & Eggs*”

    “ANTOINETTE’S TOP 10 DIVORCE / SEPARATION STORIES – I ASK: “ARE YOU NOT A LITTLE CURIOUS? *

    Vol. 1,  No. 31, January 23, 2011

    TITLE: “ANTOINETTE’S TOP lO DIVORCE / SEPARATION STORIES – I ASK : “ARE YOU NOT A LITTLE CURIOUS? *
    `
    INTRODUCTION

    My book of the week is: “The War of the Roses” by Warren Adler (Author). Hence my topic is divorce of the 3rd MOST brutal kind! (Editor`s Note: For today`s post, there has been a format change!)

    IT WORDS FOR ME!*

    For today, my word/phrase(s) are:  “divorce”, etc.

    Divorce

    “Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties. In most countries divorce requires the sanction of a court or other authority in a legal process. The legal process for divorce may also involve issues of spousal support, child custody, child support, distribution of property and division of debt.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce

    STUDY/STATISTICS

    Divorce rate (per 1,000 population aged 15 to 64 years)
                                  2007    2005
    US                          5.4%   5.4%
    Canada                              3.2%
    UK                                     3,9%
    (Source: US Census ) -http://search.census.gov/search?q=cache:D3w4SLXKgKwJ:www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2010/tables/10s1300.xls+divorce&output=xml_no_dtd&ie=UTF-8&client=default_frontend&proxystylesheet=default_frontend&site=census&access=p&oe=ISO-8859-1

    ANTOINETTE`S TOP 10 DIVORCE/SEPARATION STORIES: TRUE OR FALSE

    NO. 1 –  WEDDING SPEECH LEADS TO ANNULMENT!*

    Long ago, my Aunt and Mom told me about a wedding horrror story. The groom was giving his speech. He started by saying that he had recently been informed that his new bride was having an affair with the best man.  He had hired a private detective to investigate his future wife’s fidelity. The result was devastating.  He asked the guests to look under their chairs.  He had pasted to the seat a picture of his new wife (in a romantic way) with the best man.  A fight broke out between the groom and the bride’s brothers.  The police were called.  The wedding party was over. This was the ultimate revenge.  Last year, as I was driving to work, I was listening to the radio.  The announcer was doing a special on urban legends.  A young lady called in to recount a story that everybody thought was an urban legend but in fact was a true story.  She was at the wedding.  It was the same story that my Mom and Aunt had told me. Apparently. the couple got an annulment after the wedding.
    N.B. This a TRUE story! (Source: Antoinette’s My Life and Times*)

    NO. 2 “Divorce Follows Fancy Knife Work – The Lorena Bobbitt Story”*

    “John Wayne Bobbitt (born March 23, 1967 in Buffalo, New York) and Lorena Bobbitt (née Gallo) (born October 31, 1970 in Bucay, Ecuador) were an American couple, married on June 18, 1989, whose difficult relationship gained worldwide notoriety for an incident in 1993 when Lorena severed John’s penis with a knife. The penis was subsequently surgically re-attached.

    In 1995, after six years of marriage, Lorena and John divorced.”
    N.B. This is a TRUE story! (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_and_Lorena_Bobbitt

    NO. 3 “Divorce Follows Conviction for Adultery!”* 

    “In 2008, she was convicted of adultery, for an affair she admitted having with a singer. Her husband, Park Chul (박철), a radio talk show personality, sought the maximum sentence of two years’ imprisonment, while the prosecutors were seeking 18 months. Ok blamed her infidelity on a loveless marriage to her husband.[1] She was sentenced, in December 2008, to eight months in prison by a suburban Seoul court, but avoided jail because the sentence was suspended for two years.[2] In September 2008, a lower court had declared both partners jointly responsible for their divorce, and awarded custody of their eight-year-old daughter to Mr Park.[3]”

    Ok had been trying to overturn a 1953 law that criminalises extramarital affairs and can send a person to jail for up to two years for adultery.[4] For this purpose she brought a case before the Constitutional Court of Korea, which ruled against the actress and in handing the decision said that society would be harmed if it overturned the law[2] and that the “two-year jail term is not excessive when comparing it to responsibility.”[1][4]”
    N.B. This is TRUE but tragic story! (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ok_So-ri

    NO. 4 Wallis Simpson: First Husband

    “Edward VIII (who famously abdicated the throne to take her hand in marriage) was not Wallis Warfield Simpson’s first husband. Nor was he her most domineering.
    “The young man who first caught her eye was Lt. Earl Winfield Spencer Jr., a dashing young aviator stationed in Pensacola, Florida. The couple was married in 1916, but it wasn’t a happy union. Spencer turned out to be an abusive heroinic with a jealous streak, who tied his fun-loving wife to the bed when he left their home to keep her from straying.”
    [Sources: Biography magazine, July 2003]
    N.B. This is a TRUE story! (Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=19048

    NO. 5 DIVORCE PROVOKED BY READING: Bette Davis –  “Bette Davis Eyes”
    “In December 1938, band leader Harmon Nelson was granted a divorce from Bette Davis. “She reads,” Nelson told the court, “to an unnecessary degree. She refused to put down a book even when company was present. On innumerable occasions, she absented herself from the room to pursue her everlasting reading.”
    N.B. This is a TRUE story!  (Source: Anecdotage) –  http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=5557

    NO. 6 “Divorce Follows Fraud Charge Over $3.5 Winning Loto Tkt: the case of the mother, daughter accused of stealing of husband’s $3.5 million lottery ticket – Sat., Oct. 4, 2008)”

    “On April 4, 2008 Bobbi-Jo Arnold, accompanied by her mother Mary Patricia Moore and other family members, claimed a $3.5 million lottery ticket win in Toronto. On October 2 the two women were arrested by Ontario Police. Both are facing charges including fraud over $5000, possession of property obtained by crime, false pretenses and uttering a forged document. They allegedly stole the ticket from Moore’s then-husband.

    The family dispute has led to Ms Moore (59) filing for divorce from her husband of ten years, Gerald Moore (81), in August. Mr Moore alleges Ms Arnold received the ticket from her mother, who took it from his bedside table. He further alleges his wife “manipulated” his medications to leave him incapable to grasp what was occurring. The Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation is also named in Mr Moore’s civil suit for alleged negligence in investigating Ms Arnold’s claim.”
    N.B. This is a TRUE story! (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Mother,_daughter_accused_of_stealing_of_husband%27s_$3.5_million_lottery_ticket

    NO. 7 Sweet Revenge For Little Errand Leading to Divorce

    A friend also told me a ‘sweet’ revenge story. There was this husband, newly married, who one day told his wife that he was going to the corner store for cigarettes or some such. He never returned. This was the start of a separation leading to a divorce. But our heroine was indomitable and ingenious. You see, our wayward husband had left without his stuff; suits, shirts, etc. Then there was a day when Mr. came back to pick up these personal belongings. All went swimmingly or so he thought. But as the story gores, the other shoe dropped weeks later. This is when he first wore one of the suits. As I had heard the story, he supposedly did not have a good day as his pants split along the seam from the zipper all the way back up to the waist. What makes the story special is that this lady used a razor blade to lightly cut the seam before Mr. took possession of the suit. Since, it appeared wearable, he supposedly had put on the suit. It only split afterwards when he was out and about. The plan was that the seam would break for the maximum embarrasment.
    N.B. This is a TRUE, but a somewhat tragically humorous story!  (Source: Antoinette’s My Life and Times*)

    NO. 8  “And Two Makes Four – Shania Twain, personal life (update)”*  

    “Twain married music producer Robert John “Mutt” Lange on December 28, 1993, and they have a son, Eja D’Angelo (pronounced “Asia”) who was born on August 12, 2001. On May 15, 2008, a spokesperson for Mercury Nashville announced that Twain and Lange were separating after Lange had an affair with Twain’s best friend, Marie-Anne Thiebaud.[42][43] Their divorce was finalized on June 9, 2010.[44] On December 20, 2010, Twain’s manager confirmed that Twain was engaged to Swiss business executive Frederic Thiebaud, the ex-husband of Marie-Anne Thiebaud.[45][46] They married on January 1, 2011 in Rincón, Puerto Rico.[47]”
    N.B. This is a TRUE story! (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shania_Twain

    NO. 9 Wedding Gift?
    Shortly after her newly-divorced husband, Louis Calhern, married Julia Hoyt, Ilka Chase found a package of visiting cards bearing the title: “Mrs. Louis Calhern.” Rather than see them wasted, Chase had them wrapped and mailed to her successor, along with a curious note: “Dear Julia,” it read, “I hope these reach you in time.”
    [Sources: T. Fuller, Worthies of England]
    This is TRUE story! (Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=8700

    NO. 10 DIVORCE PROVOKED BY GREEN GARBAGE BAGS: Martha Stewart

    “Living with Martha Stewart was no picnic for her husband, Andy. One Christmas, Martha flew into a rage after dinner. The problem? Martha disapproved of the “undecorative” green garbage cans which Andy was using to clear away the garbage. Andy later shocked Martha by announcing that their marriage was over. For Martha, the timing could not have been worse; she was then in the process of publishing a book – on weddings.”
    This is a TRUE story!
    (Source: Anecdotage) –  http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=17964

    THE AUTHOR: Warren Adler

    Born in Brooklyn, N.Y., Adler graduated from NYU. He was a war correspondant. Adler founded an advertising agency. This writer is talented. He was very much in tune with the domestic mindset and  in the “War of the Roses”, he got it right on. This book later a memorable movie found a big audience. Adler went West and adapted his novel(s) for the screen. He returned to NY.; I guess that you cannot take the city out this N.Y.boy.

    SERIES/COLLECTION

    Books

    Some of his books are:

    • “The War of the Roses”
    •  “Random Hearts”
    •  “The Sunset Gang story
    • “The Children of the Roses”
    • “Funny Boys”

    Movies
    The notables are:

    • ” The War of the Roses” (US -1989) The stars were Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and Danny DeVito.
    •  “Random Hearts” was also made into a major movie
    • The Sunset Gang story collection was made into a trilogy on PBS.

    THE BOOK:  “The War of the Roses” by Warren Adler (Author)

    This is a story which starts with the classic opening: boy meets girl. The story then follows the girly rhyme: X and Y sitting in a tree – first comes love, then comes marriage and next comes a baby in a baby carriage. Then like many marriages, divorce comes next. But with the Roses, it goes extreme. The battle has no limits. They fight over possessions. The passion is mis-directed and winning becomes everything. It is so over the top, it appears to be a carricature. It might seem to be an exaggeration, but one cannot help thinking that it can and does get this bad in real life. The book works for me as I can see how divorce can go so very bad. It has a moral. First, divorce is not a competition. Revenge has no place in the equation. It should never become a war.  Nobody wins. It’s lose lose.  

    (N.B. The married couple’s family name is Rose.The title comes from history – the UK of the Middle Ages when two houses of nobles fought against each other, The title suggests that divorce between ex-spouses is comparable to a real war.)

    CONCLUSION

    Divorce happens… more often in higher proportions than we are comfortable with . Don’t let it become a war. Both sides are the losers.

    My personal comments

    A marriage breakup injures people. It can really hurt. This can and does provoke anger. Anger then can bring the need for retribution.  Sometimes couples focus only on revenge during a divorce. They feel they are the victims. Divorce can become a battleground, on which Mr. and Mrs. battle and they take no prisoners. But the ones that are truly victimized, are the children.

    The point

    Let us do better at divorce. For the sake of the kids, and also yourselves, you should work out the divorce settlement amicably.  I know, it’s easier said than done.   

    ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
    My message is short and sweet –
    1. Get real; see divorce for what it is the end of a marriage not a means of payback;
    2. Be aware that bitterness and revenge can consume a person. The best revenge is to move on and make a good life for yourself.

    3. Lose the revenge. Instead, take the high road. It’s better for the kids and also for you!
    4 Compromise – getting a fair share is good;  
    5  Make it a good divorce!
    A bad divorce lives on and on; while a good divorce comes to a speedy end and you move onto a better life. Isn’t that what you really want?
    Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

    And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
    ALP
    “Books are life; and they make life better!*”
    CREDITS
    -Web Tech:  richmediasound.com

    The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*”
    program.

    *TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

    Posted by on January 23rd, 2011 1 Comment

    “PLASTIC SURGERY: Gone wrong, I am concerned for you, dear readers! (the before, the now, and the after*)”

    Vol. 1,  No. 30  January 16th, 2011
    TITLE: “PLASTIC SURGERY: Gone wrong, I am concerned for you, dear readers! (the before, the now, and the after*)”
     
    INTRODUCTION

    My book of the week is:”Straight Talk about Cosmetic Surgery” (2007) by Arthur W. Perry M.D., F.A.C.S., ( & Robin Karol Levinson). Hence, my topic is plastic surgery.  
    (Editor’s Note: This is the first of a multi-part series on staying young.)

    IT WORDS FOR ME!*

    For today, my word/phrases are: “plastic surgery”;  “Collagen”; “Botox”, etc. 

    Plastic Surgery

    “Plastic Surgery is a medical specialty concerned with the correction or restoration of form and function. While famous for aesthetic surgery, plastic surgery also includes many types of reconstructive surgery, hand surgery, microsurgery, and the treatment of burns. The word “plastic” derives from the Greek plastikos meaning to mold or to shape, thus plastic surgery means “molding or shaping surgery” – its use here has no connection with plastics in the sense of synthetic polymer material. While the majority of cosmetic surgery comes under plastic surgery, most plastic surgery is not cosmetic surgery.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) =  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plastic_surgery

    Collagen

    “Collagen is a group of naturally occurring proteins. In nature, it is found exclusively in animals, especially in the flesh and connective tissues of mammals.[1] It is the main component of connective tissue, and is the most abundant protein in mammals,[2] making up about 25% to 35% of the whole-body protein content. Collagen, in the form of elongated fibrils, is mostly found in fibrous tissues such as tendon, ligament and skin, and is also abundant in cornea, cartilage, bone, blood vessels, the gut, and intervertebral disc.In muscle tissue it serves as a major component of endomysium. Collagen constitutes 1% to 2% of muscle tissue, and accounts for 6% of the weight of strong, tendinous muscles.[3] Gelatin, which is used in food and industry, is collagen that has been irreversibly hydrolyzed.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) =  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collagen

    Botulinum toxin

    “Botulinum toxin is a protein produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum, and is extremely neurotoxic.[1][2] When introduced intravenously in monkeys, type A of the toxin exhibits an LD50 of 40-56 ng, type C1 around 32 ng, type D 3200 ng, and type E 88 ng, rendering the above types some of the most powerful neurotoxins known.[3] Popularly known by one of its trade names, Botox or Dysport, it is used for various cosmetic and medical procedures.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) =  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Botulinum_toxin

    Bonus fact #1: Novel – “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

    “The Picture of Dorian Gray is the only published novel by Oscar Wilde, appearing as the lead story in Lippincott’s Monthly Magazine on 20 June 1890, printed as the July 1890 issue of this magazine.[1] Wilde later revised this edition, making several alterations, and adding new chapters; the amended version was published by Ward, Lock, and Company in April 1891.[2] The title is sometimes rendered incorrectly as The Portrait of Dorian Gray.

    The novel tells of a young man named Dorian Gray, the subject of a painting by artist Basil Hallward. Basil is impressed by Dorian’s beauty and becomes infatuated with him, believing his beauty is responsible for a new mode in his art. Dorian meets Lord Henry Wotton, a friend of Basil’s, and becomes enthralled by Lord Henry’s world view. Espousing a new hedonism, Lord Henry suggests the only things worth pursuing in life are beauty and fulfillment of the senses. Realizing that one day his beauty will fade, Dorian (whimsically) expresses a desire to sell his soul to ensure the portrait Basil has painted would age rather than himself. Dorian’s wish is fulfilled, plunging him into debauched acts. The portrait serves as a reminder of the effect each act has upon his soul, with each sin displayed as a disfigurement of his form, or through a sign of aging.[3]”

    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Picture_of_Dorian_Gray

    Bonus Fact #2: Film (1945)  – “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

    “Dorian Gray is a handsome, wealthy young man living in 19th century London. (While generally intelligent, he is naive and easily manipulated. These faults lead to his spiral into sin and, ultimately, misery.)

    While posing for a painting by his friend Basil, Dorian meets Basil’s friend Lord Henry Wotton. Wotton is cynical and witty, and tells Dorian that the only life worth living is one dedicated entirely to pleasure. After Wotton convinces Dorian that youth and beauty will bring him everything he desires, Dorian openly wishes that his portrait could age instead of him. He makes this statement in the presence of a certain Egyptian statue, which supposedly has the power to grant wishes.

    ….
    Dorian begins to realize the harm his life is doing to himself and to others. He is assaulted by James Vane, Sibyl’s brother, who had sworn revenge for his sister’s death. Dorian calmly tells James that he is too young to be the same man from eighteen years before. However, James soon learns the truth, but is shot during a hunting party at Dorian’s estate while hiding in the bushes. Dorian knows he is guilty for yet another death, and realizes that he can still spare Gladys from the misfortune he would certainly cause her. After leaving her a letter explaining himself, he returns to his old school room to face the painting. After stabbing his portrait in the heart to destroy his sins, Dorian collapses and dies, as he and the portrait were the same being.

    Dorian’s body is found, but it is now the monstrous creature from the painting. The portrait once again depicts Dorian as a young, innocent man.”

    … A corrupt young man somehow keeps his youthful beauty, but a special painting gradually reveals his inner ugliness to all.”

    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Picture_of_Dorian_Gray

    STUDY/STATISTICS: (U.S.A): Selected Cosmetic Plastic Surgerical and Nonsurgical Procedures

    “Table 176. Selected Cosmetic Plastic Surgerical and Nonsurgical Procedures        
    [In thousands (6,889.5 represents 6,889,500). As of December 31. The final data are projected to reflect nationwide statistics and are based on a survey of doctors who have been certified by the American Board of Medical Specialties recognized boards, including but not limited to the American Board of Plastic Surgery. Data for procedures include but are not limited to those performed by American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS) members. ASAPS members are plastic surgeons certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgery who specialize in cosmetic surgery of the face and the entire body. Procedures are ranked by total number for the latest year shown]  
                                                                  Year 2009
    Total female procedures                        9,058.5
    Total surgical procedures                     1,310.7
    Breast augmentation                                312.0
    Lipoplasty (Liposuction)                         243.2
    Blepharoplasty (eyelid surgery)             124.9
    Abdominoplasty (tummy tuck)               123.0
    Breast reduction                                        113.5
    Total nonsurgical procedures              7,747.8”

    (Source: US Census) – https://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2011/tables/11s0176.xls

    S & R* NEWS ALERT*: Facial Bones Show Signs of Aging Too; For Optimal Facial Rejuvenation, Plastic Surgeons Should Consider What’s Going on Under the Skin (For Immediate Release: January 04, 2011)

    “ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, Ill. – What makes us look older? Wrinkles and sagging result not just from changes in the skin, but also from age-related changes in the underlying facial bones, according to a report in the January issue of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery®, the official medical journal of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS).

    The researchers, led by Robert Shaw, Jr., MD, at the University of Rochester Medical Center, analyzed computed tomography scans of the facial bones in young (age 20 to 40), middle-aged (41 to 64), and older (65 and up) age groups. All scans were performed for medical reasons-not for planning plastic surgery….”

    Source: The American Society of Plastic Surgeons) –
    http://www.plasticsurgery.org/Media/Press_Releases/Facial_Bones_Show_Signs_of_Aging_Too.html

    MY LIFE & TIMES*

    I admit it …  I’m vain. I have always wanted to look my absolute best. When I was a young woman, it was a matter of grooming, hair do, make-up, wardrobe, etc. But once middle-aged, I have often thought about plastic surgery: a face lift most of all. However, the older I got, the less I wanted to do it. It is an expensive surgery and of course the effects are not forever. And there are always risks with surgery. Indeed, last year, I heard of a young girl who went in for cosmetic surgery and died from complications after the operation.  

    In addition, an old movie seen long ago had an impact. It was the “Picture of Dorian Gray”. The moral to me was that looking your best is good, but making it the all-consuming obsession is wrong. It also suggested that sometimes having your wish granted was not always satisfying afterwards. Interestingly enough, getting his youth extended only brought the protagonist in this movie much misery! 
     
    As a result, I did not go ahead with plastic surgery. But a great number of people do proceed down this road. It is therefore a good idea to further inquire into this subject. 

    S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #1

    Groucho Marx: Good Looks

    “She got her good looks from her father,” Groucho Marx once remarked of an acquaintance. “He’s a plastic surgeon.”
    (Source: www.anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=18937

    S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #2

    Jane Fonda: Big Fat Hypocrite?

    “I’m really appalled by what I see going on in plastic surgery in this country,” Jane Fonda once declared. “You can spot an inflated breast a mile away.” (The following year, Fonda had fat removed from around her eyelids. Then she had $5,000 worth of breast implants and reportedly had two ribs sawed off to make her look slimmer.)”
    (Source: www.anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=11353

    THE AUTHOR: Arthur W. Perry M.D., F.A.C.S. (& Robin Karol Levinson)

    Dr. Perry secured a medical degree with distinction from Union’s Albany Medical College. He is a board certified plastic surgeon and a Clinical Associate Professor of plastic surgery at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in New Brunswick, N.J. He has practiced over 20 years as a clinical surgeon. He was named to several ‘Best’ lists of doctors. He knows a lot about suctioning fat, lifting faces, and injecting Botox.

    SERIES/COLLECTION

    Radio
    Perry has hosted a:

    • Plastic surgery show (WOR (New York);
    • “YOU the Owners Manual Radio Show” (nationally syndicated)’;
    • “Looking in the Mirror” segments (WOR/Armed Forces radio networks).

    Books
    Perry’s four books are:

    • “Are You Considering Cosmetic Surgery” (1997);
    •  “Straight Talk about Cosmetic Surgery” (2007);
    • “You – Being Beautiful”, (co-authored with Drs. Michael Roizen and Mehmet Oz and Ted Spiker, Craig Wynett, and Lisa Oz); and
    • “Real Life of a Surgeon” (2009).

    THE BOOK: “Straight Talk about Cosmetic Surgery” (2007) by Arthur W. Perry M.D., F.A.C.S., Robin Karol Levinson

    There are many means and procedures to improve appearance. Perry talks plastic (cosmetic) surgery. This is plain talk in little bites in response to questions put. You will know much more after reading this book. I think that it will help you decide if surgery is the right way for a new MORE beautiful you.

    CONCLUSION

    We live in a world where youth is seemingly everything. A great many  people are intent on remaining young. They search far and wide for the fountain of youth. They are desperate to look younger at any expense.

    I acknowledge: (a) That a person can look younger with a face lift, so long as it is properly done; however, one can never have the look of a young person;  (b) That with Botox and Collagen injections, a person can have frown lines ironed out and folds filled in near the mouth – I understand that this is safe according to some studies.

    But is plastic surgery the thing to do?

    My personal comments

    I am not envious. I have determined that, for me, the key is not to look younger, but to look good for my age. And I ask: “What happened to the notion of aging gracefully?”

    While there are men who will have the surgery, women are the heavy weights in this game. In my view, there are several underlying causes.

    Afraid of younger women:

    One reason may be that females think that an older lady can never compete with a young woman.

    Following the lead of stars

    As well, females have an interest in the stars and tend to follow their lead. Indeed, plastic surgery is the custom and habit of the rich and famous. It is one of my TV- room pastimes, to speculate whether an actress has had the surgery. I also discuss the changing faces of celebrities with my girl friends and female work mates. Some look good; others look ridiculous.

    The point

    Plastic surgery is the wish of many women. A huge number have had one or more operations. Some are pleased with the results; others are not. For example, I think some women, who have Collagen injected into their lips, have swollen lips and look like guppies! Some also get very sick afterwards. Before going under the knife, it is best to research well, reflect about your reasoning and think long and hard.  

    ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
    At this point in my life, I have developed my own personal strategy; I encourage every woman to:  

    1. Take care of yourself – this is key. 
    2. Live a healthy lifestyle; in other words, 
    2.1 Refrain from and/or stop:  (a) Smoking – it has been proven to cause wrinkles. 
    (b) Drinking – excessive drinking is a cause of aging. Instead, drink moderately.)  (c) Indulging in sunbathing – it can cause wrinkles. (Instead, cover up most of the time.)
    3. Be active physically – exercise regularly. Indeed, if fit and firm, you will not only look good, but also, feel good about yourself; 
    4. Eat right – eating healthy is a primary way to feeling young. 
    5. Moisturize your skin daily  – this is also important. 
    6. Take vitamins – this will supplement what you’re missing from your daily meals.
    7. Think young. I believe that being young-spirited is what keeps people young. Indeed, Jack Benny had the right idea. He always claimed to be age 39.

    8. Be comfortable with the notion of aging gracefully. I believe that wrinkles have been earned and show wisdom, experience and knowledge.

    9. Opt for plastic surgery, only if and until, you have researched well and have: (a)  Extensive knowledge of the procedures and what’s involved;  (b) Full understanding of the risks; (c) Reasonable expectations over what the after picture will be; (d) Detailed data regarding the qualifications, experience and recommendations of the surgeon; etc.   

    Not only do I want you to look good, I also want you to feel good! No matter what you decide, please let me know what happens.*

    Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

    And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
    ALP
    “Books are life; and they make life better!*”
    CREDITS
    -Web Tech:  richmediasound.com

    The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*”
    program.
     
    *TM/© 2011` Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

    Posted by on January 16th, 2011 2 Comments

    “RECIPE: RABBIT IN WHITE WINE – it is mildly exotic and tasty!*”

    Volume 1,  Number 8,  This 12th Day of January, 2011
    CUCINA D’ANTONIETTA*
    (Antonietta’s Kitchen*)
    “the art of food, wine, family & more*”
    By Antonietta La Posta

    TITLE: “CONIGLIO AL VINO BIANCO FAMOSO DI ANTONIETTA*”
    (ANTONIETTA’S FAMOUS RABBIT IN WHITE WINE*)

    INTRODUCTION  

    I have a rebellious flair when it comes to food. I’ll prove it. I make and serve rabbit meat. Are you a little adventurous. Try it…you’ll like it…my way. I am certain that the rabbit will enjoy the aroma as well. 
     
    MY LIFE & TIMES*

    I have a rabbit recipe. I make it on special occasions like a dinner party for invited guests. It is mildly exotic; and it tastes good.

    SAVORY INGREDIENTS PLUS*

    Rabbit

    “Rabbits are small mammals in the family Leporidae of the order Lagomorpha, found in several parts of the world. There are seven different genera in the family classified as rabbits, including the European rabbit (Oryctolagus cuniculus), cottontail rabbits (genus Sylvilagus; 13 species), and the Amami rabbit (Pentalagus furnessi, an endangered species on Amami Ōshima, Japan). There are many other species of rabbit, and these, along with pikas and hares, make up the order Lagomorpha. The male is called a buck and the female is a doe; a young rabbit is a kit.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit

    Rosemary

    “Rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis) is a woody, perennial herb with fragrant evergreen needle-like leaves. It is native to the Mediterranean region. It is a member of the mint family Lamiaceae, which also includes many other herbs.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosemary

    Parsley

    “Parsley, or Garden Parsley for precision (Petroselinum crispum) is a species of Petroselinum in the family Apiaceae, native to the central Mediterranean region (southern Italy, Algeria and Tunisia), naturalised elsewhere in Europe, and widely cultivated as a herb, a spice and a vegetable.[1][2]”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parsley

    Garlic Buds

    “Allium sativum, commonly known as garlic, is a species in the onion family Alliaceae. Its close relatives include the onion, shallot, leek, chive,[1] and rakkyo.[2] Garlic has been used throughout history for both culinary and medicinal purposes. The garlic plant’s bulb is the most commonly used part of the plant. With the exception of the single clove types, the bulb is divided into numerous fleshy sections called cloves. The cloves are used for consumption (raw or cooked), or for medicinal purposes, and have a characteristic pungent, spicy flavor that mellows and sweetens considerably with cooking.[3] The leaves, and flowers (bulbils) on the head (spathe) are also edible, and being milder in flavor than the bulbs,[2] they are most often consumed while immature and still tender. Additionally, the immature flower stalks (scapes) of the hardneck and elephant types are sometimes marketed for uses similar to asparagus in stir-fries.[4] The papery, protective layers of “skin” over various parts of the plant are generally discarded during preparation for most culinary uses, though in Korea immature whole heads are sometimes prepared with the tender skins intact.[5] The root cluster attached to the basal plate of the bulb is the only part not typically considered palatable in any form. The sticky juice within the bulb cloves is used as an adhesive in mending glass and porcelain in China.[2]”

    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garlic 

    Oil (corn)

    “Corn oil or Maize oil is oil extracted from the germ of corn (maize). Its main use is in cooking, where its high smoke point makes refined corn oil a valuable frying oil. It is also a key ingredient in some margarines.[citation needed] Corn oil is generally less expensive than most other types of vegetable oils.[citation needed] One bushel of corn contains 1.55 pounds of corn oil (2.8% by weight).[citation needed] Corn agronomists have developed high-oil varieties; however, these varieties tend to show lower field yields, so they are not universally accepted by growers. The first commercial corn oil for cooking purposes was extracted in 1898 and 1899 by machinery invented by Theodore Hudnut and Benjamin Hudnut of the Hudnut Hominy Company of Terre Haute, Indiana, and called “mazoil”.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_oil

    Why do I prefer Mazola brand corn oil?

    First, it is a light oil, 100% pure, cholesterol free. Second, it comes in my preferred size: 128 fluid onces/1 gallon. Third, it is a long- established brand and it is reasonably priced.

    White Wine

    “Wine is an alcoholic beverage, made of fermented fruit juice, usually from grapes.[1] The natural chemical balance of grapes lets them ferment without the addition of sugars, acids, enzymes, or other nutrients.[2] Grape wine is produced by fermenting crushed grapes using various types of yeast. Yeast consumes the sugars in the grapes and converts them into alcohol. Different varieties of grapes and strains of yeasts produce different types of wine.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wine

    What wine do you ask?

    My answer is : “Whatever is leftover and handy.” My only condition is that the bottle must have been securely corked  after opening so that the wine would still be useable.   

    HANDY APPLIANCES, UTENSILS, GADGETS, ETC.*

    To make this dish, I used a slow cooker type pot.

    “A slow cooker, Crock-Pot (a US trademark that is often used generically), or Slo-Cooker (a UK trade mark that is often used generically) is a countertop electrical cooking appliance that maintains a relatively low temperature compared to other cooking methods (such as baking, boiling, and frying), for many hours allowing unattended cooking of pot roast, stew, and other suitable dishes.” (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_cooker

    Why do I prefer this type of pot?

    Cooking slow but sure makes a dish that, for Antonietta, is a PERFECT 10.

    ANTONIETTA’S RECIPE OF THE WEEK:
    “CONIGLIO AL VINO BIANCO FAMOSO DI ANTONIETTA*”

    SPECIFICATIONS – INGREDIENTS

    • Rabbit (1 whole rabbit)
    • Rosemary (1/2 tsp.)
    • (Dry) Parsley (1/2 tsp.)
    • Garlic buds (2  buds)
    • Pepper (1/4 tsp)
    • Salt (to taste)
    • Oil (2 tbsp.)
    • White Wine (1 glass)
    • Water (1 glass)

    DIRECTIONS

    1. Keep rabbit in water for one day;
    2. Remove rabbit from water and cut into pieces;

    3. Lay rabbit in pot;

    4. Brown rabbit first;

    5. Add seasonings to rabbit;

    6. Cook in ‘Slow cook type” pot at 400 F;

    7. Add one glass of white wine when almost cooked;

    8. Add one glass of water next; and

    9. Cook for 30-45 minutes.

    LAST BITE*

    After telling my guests that rabbit was on the menu and after the initial shock, most tried it and said that they liked it. I find it distinctive and pleasing. I would love you to make the recipe and taste this great taste. Are you game?*

    Take this dish out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
    And that’s my food favorite for the week – what’s yours?*
    ALP
    CREDITS
    -Web Tech:  richmediasound.com
    The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
    *TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

    Posted by on January 13th, 2011 1 Comment

    “BULLYING IN THE WORKPLACE / HARASSMENT: I don’t like it -I want it to stop NOW!*”

    Vol. 1,  No. 29, January 9th, 2011

    TITLE: “BULLYING IN THE WORKPLACE/HARASSMENT: I don’t like it – I want it to stop NOW!*”
     
    INTRODUCTION
    My book of the week is:”Stop Bullying at Work: Strategies and Tools for HR and Legal Professionals [Paperback]” by Teresa A. Daniel. Hence my topic is bullying in the workplace. (Editor’s Note: This is the second of a two part series started last week.)  
     
    IT WORDS FOR ME!*
     
    For today, my word/phrases are: “Workplace Bully”, “Psychological Harassment”, etc.

    Workplace bullying

    “Workplace bullying, like childhood bullying, is the tendency of individuals or groups to use persistent aggressive or unreasonable behaviour against a co-worker or subordinate. Workplace bullying can include such tactics as verbal, nonverbal, psychological, physical abuse and humiliation. This type of aggression is particularly difficult because unlike the typical forms of school bullying, workplace bullies often operate within the established rules and policies of their organization and their society. Bullying in the workplace is in the majority of cases reported as having been perpetrated by management and takes a wide variety of forms. Bullying can be covert or overt.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encycpedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workplace_bullying

    Psychological harassment
    “This is humiliating, intimidating or abusive behaviour which is often difficult to detect leaving no evidence other than victim reports or complaints; this characteristically lowers a person’s self-esteem or causes them torment. This can take the form of verbal comments, engineered episodes of intimidation, aggressive actions or repeated gestures. Falling into this category is workplace harassment by individuals or groups mobbing. Community Based Harassment — stalking by a group against an individual using repeated distractions that the individual is sensitized to, such as clicking an ink pen – is another subtype of this.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encycpedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harassment

     STUDY/STATISTICS – Item #1: Emotional abuse in the workplace

    “Rates of reported emotional abuse in the workplace vary, with studies showing 10%[24] 24%[25] and 36%[26] of respondents indicating persistent and substantial emotional abuse from coworkers.

    Keashly and Jagatic [27] found that males and females commit “emotionally abusive behaviors” in the workplace at roughly similar rates. In a web-based survey, Namie[28] found that women were more likely to engage in workplace bullying, such as name-calling, and that the average length of abuse was 16.5 months.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encycpedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_abuse

    S & R* NEWS ALERT*:”Workplace Harassment: Once, Twice or Three Times as Harmful? Queen’s School of Business Research Explores EffectofDifferent Typesof Workplace Harassment as Ontario Ushers in Sweeping New Legislation June14,10″ ” …

    A single type of workplace harassment on its own can be just as harmful to an employee as being exposed to one or even two additional types of harassment, according to new research from Queen’s School of Business published in the Journal of Applied Psychology. However, general workplace harassment — the causes of which are more difficult to pinpoint — can actually be harder for victims to tolerate than racial or gender harassment, which are typically rooted in bias.

    The study also reveals that Caucasians report higher levels of general workplace harassment than minorities, and, surprisingly, women are not more likely than men to experience either gender harassment or general workplace harassment.

    Even with the best preventative measures in place, harassment may still occur,” caution the authors, Jana L. Raver of Queen’s School of Business, and Lisa H. Nishii of Cornell University. “If it does, leaders should clearly communicate to employees that they are taking the situation seriously and that all forms of mistreatment are unacceptable.”

    Conclusions

    The findings also suggest that general workplace harassment had stronger relationships with negative outcomes than did ethnic harassment or gender harassment, and that tolerating the harmful effect of additional harassment experiences may be more difficult when general workplace harassment is involved. While ethnic harassment and gender harassment can both be attributed to prejudice, GWH is a subtle form of mistreatment that masks underlying motives, and is not as easily attributed to bias.

    The researchers conclude that “if organizational leaders fail to enforce their anti-harassment policies, employees may conclude that the climate supports harassment, leading to more harassment and organizational backlash. Building inclusive environments and squelching harassment when it does occur will go a long way toward building an environment for healthy and productive employees.”

    (Source: Queen’s School of Business, Media & News) –
    http://business.queensu.ca/news/2010/06-14-10_Workplace_Harassment_Once_Twice_or_Three_Times_as_Harmful%20%20.php

    S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE(S)* #1: Bear Market?

    “In 1966, after the draft board had classified him 1-Y (on account of his flat feet), Michael Bloomberg took a Wall Street job at Salomon Brothers.

    In those days, Salomon (whose unofficial mottoes included “Dress British, think Yiddish”) was less genteel than such investment-banking houses as Morgan Stanley and Merrill Lynch. Risk-taking of all sorts was celebrated, as were most forms of aggression – screaming, cursing, bullying, backstabbing…

    Indeed, to succeed on Salomon’s trading floor, one of the firm’s senior partners told Bloomberg one day, a person had to come to work each morning “ready to bite the ass off a bear.”
    (Source: Anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=11878

    S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE(S)* #2: Shiny Happy Poepel?

    “In March 2003, Edgar Poepel, the mayor of Rehau, Germany, was ordered by a federal court to take a pay cut for bullying his staff.

    The court heard that Peopel had once ordered a female employee to go on a diet because he thought she was overweight and had forced the town hall’s manager to undergo psychiatric testing when he tried to stop his bullying ways.

    And the kicker? Poepel had often stood outside staff toilets with a stopwatch, to ensure that no one spent too long inside!”
    (Source: Anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=10922

    MY LIFE & TIMES*

    I have experienced bullying/harassment in the workplace. .

    Supervisor

    When I was a teenager, I worked in a retail store. I was young and inexperienced. It seemed to me that the male boss was having an affair with a middle aged woman also working there. The goings on made me very uncomfortable. Although I did what I was told, the male boss yelled at me constantly. I quit soon afterwards.

    The above is an illustration. There are many stories like this one, many much worse. I would be pleased to later add those of readers to further make the argument that bullying/harrassment at work happens!

    THE AUTHOR: Teresa A. Daniel, JD, PhD

    Ms Daniel has a B.S. degree (Centre College); a Juris Doctorate (Salmon P. Chase College of Law, Northern Kentucky University;and a PhD (focused on Organizational Behavior, Leadership and Ethics). She serves as Department Chair & Professor- Human Resource Leadership Programs at Sullivan University, a unique online leadership program for both undergraduate and master’s level students interested in becoming HR managers and leaders.

    She is an employment lawyer, HR consultant/trainer, author and MBA faculty–is a Principal at InsideOut HR Solutions PLLC, an HR consulting firm located in Ashland, KY. She is an author and speaker, providing keynotes and workshops.

    SERIES/COLLECTION

    Books

    Her books include:
    * “The Management of People in Mergers & Acquisitions, Quorum Books” (2001), (co-authored with Gary S. Metcalf, and Cash Balance Pension Plans_;
    * “A Practical Primer, International Foundation of Employee Benefit Plans” (2000); and
    * “Stop Bullying at Work: Strategies and Tools for HR & Legal Professionals” (2009).

    THE BOOK: “Stop Bullying at Work: Strategies and Tools for HR and Legal Professionals [Paperback]” by Teresa A. Daniel

    This professional has what it takes to tackle the problem of bullying at work, otherwise said, harassment in the workplace. The aim is to create a productive work environment. She takes the point of view of the corporate/institutional employer, more precisely its Human Resources (HR) department, This a HOW-TO to effectively carry out investigations and significantly lessen this inacceptable behavior. According to her, these employers need to adopt proper policies on the subject. They also should embrace certain strategies. Such must be in accord with the law.

    CONCLUSION

    Unfortunately bullying in the workplace happens much too much. A team leader or supervisor might bully a team member/department employee. In the alternative, one or more co-worker(s) might bully another worker.

    Bullying (harassment) at work harms people. Emotionally, it can be catastrophic for the victim. It could also ruin careers, both of the victim and the bully.  In addition, it is REALLY bad for the business of a company. And it is highly counter- productive for an institution. Being toxic, it can crash an otherwise good working environment and culture.

    My personal comments

    In my perception, bullies are cowards regardless of the age. Lacking backbone, some may back down when someone stands up to them.  Others, if confonted, may pressure the victim even more. This is the victim’s dilemma.

    The point

    I want bullying in the workplace to stop.I ask everyone, wherever they work, to join me in a campaign to eradicate this VERY bad occurrence.  
     
    ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
    1. If a victim, you should:
    1.1  Be on guard for aggressive acts or talk;
    1.2 Do not ignore not a single incident as one unchecked, with the bully emboldened, leads to another and so on;
    1.3 Say, lightly, breezily, but clearly, that the bully’s acts and/or words are unacceptable; and say: “Once advised, now knowing how I feel, I am certain that you (the bully) will stop;
    1.4 Inquire as to whether your: (a) Firm or organization has a policy against bullying/ harassment;(b) Country, state/province, etc. have laws against bullying/harassment; etc.
    1.5 Seek out community support groups for bullying/harassment victims;
    1.6 Be respectful, but firmly state that you did not like the (bully’s) act or remarks. And then add:  “I ask you to please respect my wishes and immediately stop this behavior.”
    1.7 Use passive aggressive behavior to counter this bullying/harrassment;
    1.8 Consider addressing a written request/demand to the bully;

    1.9 Think long and hard before going above the head of the bully; but do so, if there is no other way;
    1.10 File a complaint, grievance, etc.; but,
    1.10.1 Remember that it is often swept under the carpet and goes unnoticed. 
    1.10.2  Ask yourself: “How will I be able to work with this person after the complaint/grievance?” .
    1.11 Note that with a supervisor who is the bully – the problem is harder to resolve. On reporting a supervisor, there is the risk:
    1.11.1 That it might be difficult afterwards, to work with the bully; you need to be prepared to be transferred to another area or look for a new job.
    1.11.2 That you might lose your job.

    2. If a bully, you should:
    2.1 Recognize that bullying and harassment are wrong;

    2.2 ‘Call a spade a spade’- your behavior constitutes bullying and harassment;

    2.3 Stop using your position to abuse others. 
    2.4 Remember:
    2.4.1 That you risk: (a) Having a letter put in your file; (b) Losing your job; (c) Being prosecuted under the penal law; (d) Being sued in civil courts; (e) Ruining your career; etc.
     
    3. If the employer, you should: 
    3.1 Act immediately upon the making of a complaint/grievance; 
    3.2 Carry out a thorough investigation without delay;
    3.3 Adopt proper policies on the subject of bullying/harassment – the object is zero tolerance.
    3.4 Embrace certain strategies to eliminate it completely.

    Being a bully on the job –  it’s all in a day’s work; no, just kidding, bullying is NOT part of the job description!

    Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

    And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
    ALP
    “Books are life; and they make life better!*”
    CREDITS
    -Web Tech:  richmediasound.com

    The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
     
    *TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

    Posted by on January 9th, 2011 1 Comment

    “Bullying in schools: I give you some facts & suggestions what to do about it*”

    Vol. 1,  No. 28, January 5th, 2011

    TITLE: “Bullying in schools: I give you some facts & suggestions what to do about it*”

    INTRODUCTION

    My book of the week is: “The Bully The Bullied And The Bystander [Paperback]” by Barbara Coloroso (Author). Hence my topic is bullying in schools. (Editor’s Note: This is the first of a series (this week and the next) on the subject of bullying.) 

    “IT WORDS FOR ME!*”

    For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “bully” and “bullying”.

    Bully

    “Bullies are a sub-species of the genus Homo Sapiens bulliboi otherwise knows as Ben Hartley’s. They thrive on making other people’s lives miserable as a means of entertainment. They are used to prove the philosophy of Thomas Hobbes and they worship the Lord of the Flies. They’re usually large in size, and are muscular (this makes up for the lack of a proper sized brain). Bullies usually are covered in hair and tend to be smaller downstairs than the average member of Homo Sapiens. Their skulls, on average, are 2 inches thicker as well. The prevailing hypothesis is that this is due to a dramatically reduced frontal cortex.”
    (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Bully

    Bullying

    “Bullying is a form of abuse. It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person’s (or group’s) power over another person (or group) , thus an “imbalance of power”.[2] The “imbalance of power” may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. Bullying types of behavior are often rooted in a would-be bully’s inability to empathize with those whom he or she would target.

    Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as psychological manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Although the UK currently has no legal definition of bullying,[3] some US states have laws against it.[4]”
    (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying

    STUDY/STATISTICS

    “The link between bullying and school violence has attracted increasing attention since the 1999 rampage at Colorado’s Columbine High School. That year, two shotgun-wielding students, both of whom had been identified as gifted and who had been bullied for years, killed 13 people, wounded 24 and then committed suicide. A year later an analysis by officials at the U.S. Secret Service of 37 premeditated school shootings found that bullying, which some of the shooters described “in terms that approached torment,” played a major role in more than two-thirds of the attacks. [14]It is estimated that about 60-80% of children are bullied at school. Since bullying is mostly ignored; it may provide an important clue in crowd behaviour and passer-by behaviour. Numerous psychologists have been puzzled by the inactivity of crowds in urban centres when crimes occur in crowded places. Many have suggested bullying as one of the reason of this decline in emotional sensitivity and acceptance of violence as normal. When someone is bullied, it is not only the bully and victim who are becoming less sensitive to violence. In most cases, the friends and classmates of the bully and the victim accept the violence as normal.

    In a landmark study, 432 gifted students in 11 states of USA were studied for bullying. More than two-thirds of academically talented eighth-graders say they have been bullied at school and nearly one-third harboured violent thoughts as a result. [15]

    The National Conference of State Legislatures said:
    “In 2002, a report released by the U.S. Secret Service concluded that bullying played a significant role in many school shootings and that efforts should be made to eliminate bullying behavior.”[18]
    (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying

    S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1:
    “Kids encouraged to stand up not stand by during Bullying Awareness Week By Liza Reginald”

    “(NC) ”November 15-21 marks Family Channel’s eighth annual Bullying Awareness Week and the network, along with their partner organization, PREVNet, a national network committed to ending bullying and promoting positive relationships, want to equip students with the resources they need to stand up to bullying.
    In Canadian playgrounds it is estimated that bullying takes place every 7.5 minutes and the impact of those actions is both damaging and long lasting,† said Dr. Debra Pepler, Distinguished Research Professor of Psychology, York University and scientific co-director of PREVNet. Bullying Awareness Week gives us a fantastic opportunity to talk about these issues and hopefully provide students with the skills they need to tackle bullying year round.  PREVNet is especially interested in the role of bystanders in bullying situations. Research by the organization indicates that bullying typically occurs in front of an audience of peers who have the power to either stop or prolong the bullying episode based on their actions. In the majority of cases, when bystanders do intervene in bullying situations, bullying stops within ten seconds. PREVNet is keen to encourage kids to stand up to bullying by offering the following suggestions for students who witness bullying behaviour:
    Assertively, but not aggressively, tell the child or youth who is bullying to stop.
    Give attention and support to the child who is victimized.
    Students should tell a responsible adult if they see an incident of bullying, for example, a parent, teacher, coach, or group leader.
    Dr. Pepler, is aware that for many children, confronting bullying behaviour when they see it can be difficult. These strategies are a challenge and I would encourage parents and teachers to discuss and rehearse these strategies with their children. It really is so important that students feel empowered to stand up to bullying and they need adult support to do this.
    More information on Bullying Awareness Week, including bullying-prevention tip sheets and resources can be found at www.family.ca.”
    www.newscanada.com

    S & R* QUOTE(S) OF THE WEEK*

    Here are a few.

    • “Bullies are people who hate themselves, abused at age six or molested at twelve.”
      ( Princess Clara on bullies)
    • “I can ponder back to the days when I was the victim of a bully. But after our little meeting between the bathroom stalls, he never bothered me again.”
      (Oscar Wilde on the bully who tormented him)

    S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #1:

    Fabulous Bridges Boys

    “Though a confident kid, Jeff Bridges was nowhere near sophisticated enough to cope with [brother] Beau’s supremely cruel and really quite brilliant bullying. He didn’t hit Jeff, or taunt him – he pointed. For hours. On the street, on the beach, in the garden. When parents were present, he did it under the kitchen table. Jeff knew it but couldn’t prove it, gradually becoming more and more freaked out… ”
    (Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=18618

    MY LIFE & TIMES*

    Girl gang bullies

    In elementary school, my youngest daughter was the victim of a little GIRL gang. The leader was a sugar and spice tough. (Indeed, girls can also be bullies!) My older daughter, who happened to be present at the time, defended her sister. To add insult to injury, my daughter was reported to the principal by the other girls. The principal, without investigating the incident, punished my daughter and gave her an after-school detention for a week. When I arrived home, my daughter was in her room crying.  When I asked why she was upset, she told me the story.  I BELIEVED her. The next day, I called the principal. I already thought that he was incompetent; but I did not know how bad. I protested and told him the true story; I  stated that he was being unfair. After a heated discussion, he apologized. He then released my daughter from detention. 

    Real story that affected me deeply: instance of a kindness that saved a life

    A while ago, I read a story about a male high school teen, a so-called ‘nerd’, who was being bullied. He kept to himself and was unhappy. One weekend, he intended to go home and commit suicide.  He did not want his mother to have to go to school to get his books. As a result, that Friday afternoon, he decided to bring ALL of his books home. A male classmate found it odd that he was carrying so many books. Going in the same direction, he decided to walk home with him and offered to carry some of the load of books. The ‘nerd’ said: “Yes”. Chatting all the while, they now reached the point where they had to go in opposite directions. Before leaving, the classmate asked the ‘nerd’ if he wanted to go to a football game. Although the ‘nerd’ said, “No”,  this warm approach by the classmate made a huge impact on the ‘nerd’. The next Monday morning, the ‘nerd’ carried all of his books back to school. 

    The two then became best friends. The former ‘nerd’ grew into a handsome young man and continued school and went on to university.  On graduation night, he was offered an award for being an honor student.  He was asked to give a speech.  He told the above story about the weekend he was going to commit suicide. He was saved because a youth had shown an interest in him. Because of this young man, the ‘nerd’  had decided that, after all, life was worth living.

    THE AUTHOR: Barbara Coloroso

    Barbara Coloroso has developped parenting and teaching strategies.  She has had years of training in sociology, special education, and philosophy. She also worked as a teacher. She is a mother of three. She is an author, speaker and consultant.

    SERIES/COLLECTION

    Books

    Her books inlcude:

    • “Kids are worth it! Giving Your Child the Gift of Inner Discipline”
    • “Parenting Through Crisis—Helping Kids in Times of Loss, Grief and Change”
    • “The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander—From Pre-School to High School, How Parents and “Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence” 
    • “Just Because It’s Not Wrong Doesn’t Make It Right—From Toddlers to Teens, Teaching Kids to Think and Act Ethically”
    • “Extraordinary Evil: A Brief History of Genocide…and Why it Matters”

    Video Programs

    Two critically acclaimed video programs are:

    • “Winning at Parenting…without beating your kids”
    • “Winning at Teaching…without beating your kids”

    THE BOOK: “The Bully The Bullied And The Bystander  by Barbara Coloroso

    This book is about bullying involving young victims. Coloruso says bullying can damage people.  She understands and unravels the dynamic. She disects the act of bullying, the behavior of the bully’s audience and the target’s sentiment and reaction. She is intent on eliminating such… in the interest of all concerned. She knows the bully really wants to stop and the enabler really needs to act differently. She explains why. Most important, she is for the empowerment of the victim. She also speaks to the adults who face this challenge. Her insight and suggestions have merit and can be part of the solution. If bullying is a problem, look here.

    CONCLUSION

    Bullying is not trivial; rather, it is VERY serious business. It could cause great harm. This is especially true for children who are vulnerable… especially young children who are the most vulnerable. This is not about lower grades. Youngsters could become withdrawn. Indeed, it could leave scars and ruin lives. Some may even commit suicide. Doing nothing is not an option.

    My personal comments

    In my view, a bully is a person who needs to pick on and belittle others in order to feel worthwhile. He or she has little self worth, runs in a herd, looking for reinforcement from his or her mates. He or she is a coward. Victims are mercilessly singled out.

    The point

    A bully’s acts must cease. He or she needs help.

    The victims must be saved, protected and encouraged to defend themselves.

    Adults need to act. I did it when it counted. I ask that you do the same! 

    ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

    Everyone should:

    1. Recognize the seriousness of  bullying;

    2. Become informed about bullying – research the topic thoroughly;

    3. Be proactive when it comes to bullying; in this regard, (b) Lobby your schools (e.g., elementary/grade schhool, middle school, high school, junior college and university, etc.), to: (i).  Adopt a zero tolerance policy for bullying; (ii). Start an awareness campaign; etc. 
    4. Stay connected with each of your children; to this end,
    4.1 Tell them: (a) That you are always there for them; (b) That you will listen to their stories; it is important for them to know that you will listen, regardless the subject; (c) That you will always help them, no matter what.

    5.  Make sure that you make your child understand:  (a) That it is not cowardly to speak up about the bullying ; (b) That you believe him or her; (c) That you are 100% on their side; (d) That he or she can come to you at any time and you will drop everything to hear them out;      

    6. Keep your child fully in focus; to this end,  

    6.1 Ask repeatedly about his or her life, inquiring into how or she is feeling;

    6.2 Show an interest in schooling and monitor his or her progress; and in this regard,
    6.2.1 Go to all the school meetings when it concerns your child;

    6.3 Show an interest in his or her friends; and inquire into who they are and what they are about: “Are they good students?”(-this is an excellent indicator!) ;

    6.4 Know everything there is to know about your child’s social life/events; and in this regard,

    6.4.1 Ask where he or she is going;

    6.4.2  Offer to pick him or her up when out after hours;
    6.5 Look for tell tale signs of bullying; unfortunately, parents are not always aware if their child is being bullied.

    6.6 Ask specifically about bullying; and if getting any hint that it has occurred or is occurring now, ask:

    • “What happened?”
    • “Who is the bully?”
    • “Where did it happen?”
    • “Did it happen at school?”  
    • “What did the bully say and do?”
    • “How did this make you feel?”
    • “Was anybody else there?”

    7. Notify the school board, school principal and teacher without delay;   

    8. Turn a negative into a big positive; to do this,

    8.1 Explain that a bully is really a weakling; your child, in contrast, is the strong one.  

    8.2 Tell your child not to take the bullying as a negation of who he or she is; 

    8.3 Encourage him or her to stand up proud and be indifferent to the bully, thereby taking away the bully’s supposed power;  

    8.4 Tell your child that he or she can do it;

    8.5 Continue the encouragement daily, pointing out that each day represents a victorious skirmish; 

    9. Tell him or her, when all is said and done, that he or she won the war;  

    10. Remind him/her often that this incident was a great victory; hopefully, in the future, your child will see this as an early instance where he or she showed bravery and did overcome! (N.B. This could very well become a builder of confidence and a source of great pride in the future. )   

    Well, I was thinking about saying: “Bully for you”; but, considering it was not politically correct, I changed my mind. Instead, I will say: “Don’t let your bull loose in the china shop!*” 
     
    Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
    And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
    ALP
    “Books are life; and they make life better!*”
    CREDITS
    -Web Tech:  richmediasound.com

    The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

    *TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

    Posted by on January 5th, 2011 2 Comments

    Recipes: Eggplant slices – light & baked

    Antonietta’s Kitchen
    Volume 1,  Number 7,  This 2nd Day of January, 2011
    CUCINA D’ANTONIETTA*
    (Antonietta’s Kitchen*)
    “the art of food, wine, family & more*”
    By Antonietta La Posta

    TITLE: “FETTE DI MELANZANA FAMOSO DI ANTONIETTA*”

    INTRODUCTION

    To start the new year, I offer you a great light dish.
     
    MY LIFE & TIMES*

    As a child, my mother wouldn’t allow me to leave the table until I finished eating my vegetables. But, I then disliked eggplant immensely. However, over the years, it became one of my favorite foods. I cook it in many different ways. One of the recipes, that I like, is baked eggplant slices. It is easy and delicious.

    SAVORY INGREDIENTS PLUS*

    Eggplant

    “The eggplant, aubergine, melongene, brinjal, or guinea squash (Solanum melongena) is a plant of the family Solanaceae (also known as the nightshades) and genus Solanum. It bears a fruit of the same name, commonly used in cooking. As a nightshade, it is closely related to the tomato and potato and is native to Nepal, India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka.

    It is a delicate perennial often cultivated as an annual. It grows 40 to 150 cm (16 to 57 in) tall, with large coarsely lobed leaves that are 10 to 20 cm (4–8 in) long and 5 to 10 cm (2–4 in) broad. (Semi-)wild types can grow much larger, to 225 cm (7 ft) with large leaves over 30 cm (12 in) long and 15 cm (6 in) broad. The stem is often spiny. The flowers are white to purple, with a five-lobed corolla and yellow stamens. The fruit is fleshy, has a meaty texture, less than 3 centimetres (1.2 in) in diameter on wild plants, but much larger in cultivated forms.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eggplant

    Whole Wheat Flour

    “Whole wheat flour is a powdery substance derived by grinding or mashing the wheat’s whole grain. It is used in baking but typically added to other “white” flours to provide nutrients (especially fiber and protein), texture, and body to the finished product.”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whole_wheat_flour

    Why do I prefer Robin Hood Best For Bread Whole Wheat Flour

    It is a fine product from a reliable company and the 5 kg. package is just right for me.

    Eggs

    “On the left a chicken egg, the egg most commonly eaten by humans, and on the right two quail eggs. Eggs laid by females of many different species, including birds, reptiles, amphibians, and fish, have been eaten by mankind for millennia. Bird and reptile eggs consist of a protective eggshell, albumen (egg white), and vitellus (egg yolk), contained within various thin membranes. Egg yolks and whole eggs store a lot of protein and choline.[1][2] For this reason, the USDA (United States Department of Agriculture) categorizes eggs as Meats within the Food Guide Pyramid[1]”
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egg_(food)

    Corn oil

    “Corn oil or Maize oil is oil extracted from the germ of corn (maize). Its main use is in cooking, where its high smoke point makes refined corn oil a valuable frying oil. It is also a key ingredient in some margarines.[citation needed] Corn oil is generally less expensive than most other types of vegetable oils.[citation needed] One bushel of corn contains 1.55 pounds of corn oil (2.8% by weight).[citation needed] Corn agronomists have developed high-oil varieties; however, these varieties tend to show lower field yields, so they are not universally accepted by growers. The first commercial corn oil for cooking purposes was extracted in 1898 and 1899 by machinery invented by Theodore Hudnut and Benjamin Hudnut of the Hudnut Hominy Company of Terre Haute, Indiana, and called “mazoil”.
    (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corn_oil

    Why do I prefer Mazola brand corn oil

    First, it is a light oil, 100% pure, cholesterol free. Second, it comes in my preferred size: 128 fluid onces/1 gallon. Third, it is a long- established brand and it is reasonably priced. 

    HANDY APPLIANCES, UTENSILS, GADGETS, ETC.*

    To make these eggplant slices, you need a bigger rectangular pan.

    Why do I prefer this type of pan

    It is easy to lay the slices on the pan and then to turn them over to bake.

    ANTOINETTE’S RECIPE OF THE WEEK: “FETTE DI MELANZANA FAMOSO DI ANTONIETTA*”

    SPECIFICATIONS – INGREDIENTS

    • Eggplant (big size)
    • Eggs
    • Whole wheat flour (Robin Hood Best For Bread)
    • Oil (corn – Mazola brand)
    • salt

    DIRECTIONS

    1. Cut the eggplant vertically in slices approximately ¼ in. thick;
    2. Place them in a bowl;
    3. Add a couple or more raw eggs scrambled;
    4. Pour flour In a separate bowl;
    5. Dip the eggplant slices in the scrambled eggs;
    6. Press the eggplant on both sides into the flour;
    7. Coat the pan with oil;
    8. Lay the eggplant slices in the pan;
    9. Bake in the oven at 350º for approximately ½ hour or until slightly brown;
    10. Add salt as per taste;

    LAST BITE*

    I love my delicious “FETTE DI MELANZANA FAMOSO DI ANTONIETTA*”. It is not fried, It is vegetable and that’s good. It is served by the slice and you can thus can easily control your portion. It is s perfect New Year’s resolution food. Good eating!

    Take this dish out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
    And that’s my food favorite for the week – what’s yours? *
    ALP
    CREDITS
    -Web Tech:  richmediasound.com
    The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
    *TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

    Posted by on January 2nd, 2011 1 Comment