Archive for February, 2011

“Eating disorders: bulimia and anorexia – I also have some thoughts*”

Vol. 1,  No. 36, February 27, 2011

TITLE: “Eating disorders: bulimia and anorexia – I also have some thoughts*”

My book of the week is “Thin” [Hardcover] by Lauren Greenfield (Author), Joan Jacobs Brumberg (Introduction). My topic is therefore eating disorders: bulimia and anorexia.


For today, my word/phrase(s) are:””, “bulimia nervosa”, anorexia, etc

Bulimia nervosa (bulimia)
“Bulimia nervosa (bulimia) is a disease and a type of eating disorder. It is when a person wants to starve his or her self. People who have it feel that they are fat and want to be skinny. When they are hungry, they eat a lot of food. Then, they try to take it back by vomiting, exercising, or using drugs.

The person with bulimia eats large amounts of food. Then, they want to get rid of it. To do this, they vomit or use drugs. They do this at least two times a week or more often. The person always thinks about how his or her body looks, and he or she wants to be skinny. The person may also have anorexia nervosa. However, some people with bulimia have a normal weight or are overweight, which makes it difficult to know when someone has bulimia.

Bulimia nervosa can cause many health problems. Because vomit has a lot of acid in it, doing it a lot can burn the person’s mouth, throat, or teeth. Someone can lose nutrients or fluids in his or her body. Glands in one’s throat and face may get bigger and hurt. The immune system is weakened, and a person can get muscle or heart problems.

People who get bulimia
Most people who get bulimia are ages 10 to 25. Usually girls have bulimia, but boys can have it too. People who had bad things happen to them are more likely to get the disease too. People with obsessive compulsive disorder or perfectionism are also more likely to have bulimia.[1] People can also get bulima if, they have been through physiological trauma.
Bulimia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by restraining of food intake for a period of time followed by an over intake or binging period that results in feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. The median age of onset is 18. Sufferers attempt to overcome these feelings through a number of ways.[1] The most common form is defensive vomiting, sometimes called purging; fasting, the use of laxatives, enemas, diuretics, and over exercising are also common.[2] Bulimia nervosa is nine times more likely to occur in women than men (Barker 2003). Antidepressants, especially SSRIs are widely used in the treatment of bulimia nervosa. (Newell and Gournay 2000).”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –


Eating conditions


Bonus fact #1 Origin of name
“[3] Bulimia nervosa was named and first described by the British psychiatrist Gerald Russell in 1979.[4][5]

Bonus fact #2 : Real people sufferers
Actress Candace Cameron, who is famous for her role of DJ Tanner on the hit television series of 1990s “Full House”, revealed for the first time her battle with Bulimia when she was younger….
Britain’s former deputy prime minister John Prescott, who was known for his tough guy image, said on Sunday that he has secretly struggled with the eating disorder bulimia for decades.   Prescott wrote in the Sunday Times newspaper that he used to gorge on vast amounts of food and then force himself to vomit.
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: How we see our bodies impacts how we live our lives by Jean Gottlieb, Health Reporter

“(NC)—More than seven out of ten girls avoid certain activities, such as giving an opinion or going to school when they feel bad about their bodies, according to academic research by the Dove Self Esteem Fund. Negative body image also means both girls and boys are less likely to engage in physical activity. Life-long health-giving habits such as proper nutrition and exercise are laid down in childhood and are affected by an individual’s body image.

“It makes me really shy about doing things with my friends,” says sixteen-year-old Shayla Timms about her body. “I’m always trying to hide my shape, which ends up with me wanting to hide myself”.

“We need our girls – and boys – to feel confident in themselves so that they can be fully engaged in their communities, socially, academically, economically; we need them to feel good about themselves and their bodies so that they can make healthy choices in their lives” says Merryl Bear, director of the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC).

Despite some good beginnings to support more diverse body shapes and sizes by designers such as Canadian Mark Fast, and magazines such as Marie Claire providing some diversity, the overwhelming media messaging is that thin-is-in.

“Combined with the war on fat, messaging that thinness is the passport to success leads to food and weight preoccupation, and our youth are particularly vulnerable to this” comments Bear. Fortunately for most parents, the evidence is clear that some simple steps, many of which are found on NEDIC’s website at, can help to protect their child’s emotional and physical well-being.

Having dinner together regularly as a family is shown to be effective in increasing children and youth’s emotional resilience. Learning to trust and take measured risks with one’s body through physical activity helps children to develop self-confidence as well as a healthy body. And, as Bear suggests, it is never too late to develop a better body image and self-confidence.” “News Canada” <

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2:Eating disorders are rising among men by Jean Gottlieb, Health Reporter
(NC)—”Eating disorders are still often thought of as a female problem, or one sometimes affecting gay males. However, an increasing number of eating disorders are being seen in males and minority populations, according to a recent report by the US Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. The same report shows that 5 – 10% of all individuals with an eating disorder are male.

“These are significant numbers of boys and men needing help,” says Merryl Bear, director of the National Eating Disorder Information Centre (NEDIC),, “Whether you are female or male, there’s little difference in your degree of unhappiness, pain or danger to health.”

Both males and females with eating disorders suffer similar rates of anxiety, depression, phobias, panic disorder, and substance dependence.

Despite this, men, whose treatment needs are similar to those of women, have difficulty in getting help. This may be related to shame and secrecy about their illness, and because doctors are less likely to identify an eating disorder in males.

“I ended up using food as a form of control to forget about the negativity that was happening and the stress/pressure … Had I gone to the hospital a day later, I may not have been here today,” says Pete Czerwinski about his struggle with anorexia, some of which is documented in the film Furious Pete.

“The good thing is that we are increasingly seeing media stories about the struggles of boys and men with food, weight and shape issues. This helps to make it easier for them – or family members – to reach out to NEDIC and other places for help,” notes Bear “No-one needs to suffer alone.” Increasingly, she says, there are more gender sensitive services available to males across the country.” “News Canada” <

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #3:  Profile America — Monday, March 28th.

“This month has been set aside to recognize a number of various causes. Two of these seem to go hand in hand — National Nutrition Month and National Frozen Food Month. The goal of the first is make consumers aware of just how easy it is to eat healthy meals. And one of the ways this is possible is because of frozen food. The first commercially available frozen food was packaged fish in 1925. Frozen food became increasingly popular after World War II, as refrigerated trains and trucks were able to carry it to all parts of the nation. Now, every refrigerator has a fairly ample freezer. And, the complimentary appliance — a microwave oven — is in more than nine-out-of-10 homes. You can find these and more facts about America from the U.S. Census Bureau online at <>.
Sources: Chase’s Calendar of Events 2011, p. 151
Statistical Abstract of the United States 2008, t. 951


Being a mother of daughters, I was interested in this topic. I aimed to learn about it.   

While I don’t have a direct experience with these disorders, I have lived life and I have watched young poeople. One powerful image does come to mind. One day, walking down the hallway at work, I noticed a young lady at the water fountain. I was stunned. She looked like a skeleton. She was just skin and bones. It is possible that she could have been just very skinny; I doubt that. I am convinced that she was a sufferer of anorexia.   I was saddened by what I saw.

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE #1* Calista Flockhart

“Flockhart, noted for her slender figure, often battled rumors that she was suffering from anorexia and bulimia. When Flockhart collapsed on the set of “Ally McBeal” on December 13th, 2000, it was announced that she was merely suffering from dehydration and exhaustion. While her publicist attributed the collapse to Robert Downey Jr’s presence on the “Ally” set, according to the World Entertainment News Network news service, Calista’s home life was under strain for another reason: “Her dog, Webster, doesn’t like her boyfriend, Garry Shandling.”

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE #2* Diamond Jim Brady: Porker

“Mutlimillionaire railroad tycoon ‘Diamond Jim’ Brady was at least as well known for its gargantuan appetite as he was for his fiscal successes. A typical day’s menu began at breakfast, with hominy, eggs, corn bread, muffins, griddle cakes, chops, fried potatoes, a beefsteak, and a gallon of orange juice. Next came a late morning snack of two or three dozen clams and oysters, followed at 12:30 p.m. by lunch (clams, oysters, boiled lobsters, deviled crabs, a joint of beef, and a variety of pies). At afternoon tea, Jim would sit down to a heaping dish of seafood and copious drafts of lemon soda. “Dinner, of course, was the major meal of the day, and Jim often supped at Rector’s, a posh New York restaurant. the meal included two or three dozen Lynnhaven oysters, six crabs, several bowls of green turtle soup, sex or seven lobsters, a pair of canvasback ducks, a double serving of terrapin, a sirloin steak, vegetables, and much orange juice. Generally, Jim would top off the meal with a piled-high platter of cakes and pies and a 2-lb. box of candy.”

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE #3* Gilda Radner: Bulimia

“Gilda [Radner] told me,” Elliott Gould once recalled, “that when she couldn’t sleep, she would order food at about two or three in the morning, and she was so bulimic she would order enough for six or seven people, even though it was just her alone. And then when the delivery guy came and rang the bell, she would say [calling out], ‘The food’s here! The food’s here!'”

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE #4* Jane Fonda: Pill-Popper

Jane Fonda was once arrested after allegedly kicking a police officer. Although she had been found carrying an immense quantity of pills, all charges were later dropped. Why? The “pills” were later identified as vitamins!

THE AUTHOR: Lauren Greenfield

Lauren Greenfield is a photo artist/journalist. She is also a filmmaker. Her overall subject of choice is young people and culture. A major theme is female identity, perception of body and eating disorders. She also has authored books.
(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia)


Her films include:

  • “Fashion Show” (2010) multimedia with photo, video and audio
  • “Foreclosure: Death of the American Dream” (2009) – multimedia with photo, video and audio
  • “Ben Gals” (2008) – multimedia with photo and audio
  • “Teen Spa” (2007) – multimedia with photo and audio
  • “Jackie Warner” (2007) – multimedia with photo, video and audi
  • “Teen Lipo” (2006) – multimedia with photo and audio

Her books include:

  • THIN (Chronicle Books, 2006)
  • Girl Culture (Chronicle Books, 2002)
  • Fast Forward: Growing Up in the Shadow of Hollywood (Hard cover Knopf, 1997; soft cover Chronicle Books 2002)

THE BOOK: “Thin” [Hardcover] by Lauren Greenfield (Author), Joan Jacobs Brumberg

She is an artist – her passion is improving the female experience particularly that of adolescents. For girls, perception replaces reality. The female body offered by films and TV is the impossible dream. Regardless, it drives girls to chase it. Eating disorders are the result. Some of the afllicted go the eat and purge route (bulimia); others opt for not eating (anorexia). Greenfield’s art is visual; she shines light on this problem. Along with the pictures, are personal stories of suffering girls and women. This is combined with essays of experts in the field. This combo package book delivers up information. We understand more. We know more. It helps. Check it out!


Eating disorders are destrucive of good health. These includes bulimia and anorexia. 

Eating disorders have been serious problems of teenage girls and young adult women. First, it comes from the mistaken belief that beauty is skin deep superficial. Second, the fashion world presents a false image of beauty. The body is not natural; instead, models and stars have much plastic surgery done. They then add expensive clothing and professional make-up sessions and voila you have a pretty picture – not of the real world. Also, such is photo-shopped. And further, the desirable woman is portrayed as one who is as thin as possible. (N.B. It is a known fact that many models are borderline starving to remain at their lowest weight.) Feed all of this to impressionable females; and they are thus on track with highly unrealistic goals.

These disorders are tragic. It is unfortunate how critical a young girl/woman could be about her looks. She looks in the mirror and sees only the flaws and not the beauty that reflects back.  It’s so sad … she doesn’t know her actual worth.   

There are other factors in eating disorders. For example, a person with a compulsive personality or controlling behavior will usually be a candidate for these disorders. Self- discipline is a very important quality, but sufferers go overboard. With this characteristic, one can control oneself to do things to the extreme. This is greatly destructive.   As well, people with this illness usually have depression issues.  

Eating disorders are also a growing problem of men, particularly those intensely committed to weight and cardio training, body building, elite athlete regimens, etc. Such are also prevalent in the gay community.        

My personal comments

I want to look my best. While I’m fortunate that I don’t have a weight problem; if the truth be known, there are certain areas of my body with which I am dissatisfied. But through the years, I have learned to accept my body type (shape and size) . 

I exercise and eat healthy. There are certain styles of clothing that are not flattering to my body type, hence I do not wear them.  So you see, by example, I encourage finding a better more positive way to deal with self-image. 

Furthermore, I belive that true beauty is the whole person incluisve of the inner soul.

The point

I know that there are many who want to change the stance of the beauty industry and the message being currently publicized, for the consumption of young girls and women. I wish them well and hope that they achieve their goal of change.  
However, I have another recommendation. I propose that government health departments launch an advertising campaign, (similar to that for the stoppage of drug use), showing the results of carrying on the bulimic or anorexic behavior. A TV ad that comes to mind is the one where eggs are fried in a frypan and the voice over says that this is is the result of drug use.  I also propose labels on wearing apparel destined for young women to contain images, like on cigarette packs, showing the effects of these disorders, like intestinal malfunction, rotten teeth from regurgitated stomach acids, etc.   


If a parent of a teenager,

1. Compliment him/her about looks, how he/she is dressed;
2. Suggest in a positive way, what you think might is not be suitable and at the same time, what is complimentary to their body type-shape; 
3. Pay attention to his/her eating habits; in this regard,
4. Seek help immediately: (a) If you notice anything not right with their meals and digestion;

if  a sufferer
5. Tell someone who you can trust about your secret;
6. Seek out professional help;

Let us help these young people. Please do what you can. I am counting on you.

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on February 27th, 2011 1 Comment

“DICK AND JANE SITTING IN A TREE, FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES ??? IN A BABY CARRIAGE: I will tell you about dating – finding love, intimacy and commitment*”

Vol. 1,  No. 35, February 20, 2011
TITLE: “DICK AND JANE SITTING IN A TREE, FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES ??? IN A BABY CARRIAGE: I will tell you about dating – finding love, intimacy and commitment*”


My book of the week is: “Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man [Hardcover] by Steve Harvey”. My topic is dating – finding love, intimacy and commitment.
(Editor’s Note: This another in the series with the love theme, the last being the one published on Valantine’s Day.)
For today, my word/phrase(s) are:  “intimacy”; “intimate relationships”; “online dating”;  “intimacy”; “commitment”.

“Intimacy generally refers to the feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together. It is a familiar and very close affective connection with another as a result of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity. As a verb “intimate” means “to state or make known”. The activity of intimating (making known) underpins the meanings of “intimate” when used as a noun and adjective. As a noun, an “intimate” is a person with whom we have a particularly close relationship. This was clarified by Dalton (1959) who discusses how anthropologists and ethnographic researchers access ‘inside information’ from within a particular cultural setting by establishing networks of intimates capable (and willing) to provide information unobtainable through formal channels.[3] As an adjective, “intimate” indicates detailed knowledge of a thing or person (e.g. “an intimate knowledge of engineering” and “an intimate relationship between two people”).[4]
In human relationships, the meaning and level of intimacy varies within and between relationships. In anthropological research, intimacy is considered the product of a successful seduction, a process of rapport building that enables parties to confidently disclose previously hidden thoughts and feelings. Intimate conversations become the basis for ‘confidences’ (secret knowledge) that bind people together.[5][6] Developing an intimate relationship typically takes a considerable amount of time (months and years, rather than days or weeks) and both anthropologists and zoologists have tracked the subliminal changes in body language as rapport develops between two or more people.[7]To sustain intimacy for any length of time requires well developed emotional and interpersonal awareness. Intimacy requires an ability to be both separate and together participants in an intimate relationship. Murray Bowen called this is called self-differentiation. It results in a connection in which there is an emotional range involving both robust conflict, and intense loyalty.[8] Lacking the ability to differentiate oneself from the other is a form of symbiosis, a state that is different from intimacy, even if feelings of closeness are similar.
From a center of self knowledge and self differentiation intimate behavior joins family, close friends as well as those with whom one is in love. It evolves through reciprocal self-disclosure and candor. Poor skills in developing of intimacy can lead to getting too close too quickly; struggling to find the boundary and to sustain connection; being poorly skilled as a friend, rejecting self-disclosure or even rejecting friendships and those who have them.[9]Scholars distinguish between different forms of intimacy,[10] principally: emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. Emotional intimacy, particularly in sexual relationships, typically develops after physical bonds have been established. ‘Falling in love’, however, has both a biochemical dimension, driven through reactions in the body stimulated by sexual attraction (PEA),[11] and a social dimension driven by ‘talk’ that follows from regular physical closeness and/or sexual union.[12]It is worth distinguishing intimate (communal) relationships from strategic (exchange) relationships. Physical intimacy occurs in the latter but it is governed by a higher order strategy, of which the other person may not be aware. One example is getting close to someone in order to get something from them or give them something. That ‘something’ might not be offered so freely if it did not appear to be an intimate exchange and if the ultimate strategy had been visible at the outset.[13] Mills and Clark (1982) found that strategic (exchange) relationships are fragile and easily break down when there is any level of disagreement. Emotionally intimate (communal) relationships are much more robust and can survive considerable (and even ongoing) disagreements.In new relationships, sexual intimacy may develop slowly and in a predictable way. Research by Desmond Morris, a behavioral psychologist, found that most new relationships followed 12 predictable steps on the path to sexual intimacy. Couples that rushed through the steps or skipped steps were most likely to break up. The 12 steps he identified (in order) are: Eye to Body, Eye to Eye, Voice to Voice, Hand to Hand, Arm to Shoulder, Arm to Waist, Mouth to Mouth, Hand to Head, Hand to Body, Mouth to Breast, Hand to Genitals, and finally, Sexual Intercourse.[14]”

(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

Intimate relationship
“An intimate relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship, and the term is sometimes used euphemistically for a sexual relationship. The characteristics of an intimate relationship include an enduring behavioral interdependence, repeated interactions, emotional attachment and need fulfillment. Intimate relationships include friendships, dating relationships, spiritual relationships, and marital relationships and there are individual differences in both the quality and quantity of these relationships. Several stages in intimate relationships have been identified: the beginning or development stages (e.g., attraction and dating), relational maintenance and repair (e.g., forgiveness), relational stressors (e.g., conflict and betrayal), and relational termination (e.g., models of dissolution).
Intimate relationships play a central role in the overall human experience.[1] Humans have a universal need to belong and to love which is satisfied within an intimate relationship.[2] Intimate relationships consist of the people that we are attracted to, whom we like and love, romantic and sexual relationships, and those whom we marry and provide and receive emotional and personal support from.[1] Intimate relationships provide people with a social network of people that provide strong emotional attachments and fulfill our universal need of belonging and the need to be cared for.[1]The systematic study of intimate relationships is a relatively new area of research within the field of social psychology that has emerged within the last few decades.[1] Although the systematic study of intimate relationships is fairly recent, social thought and analysis of intimate relationships dates back to early Greek philosophers.[1] Early scholarly studies were also interested in intimate relationships but were limited to dyads or small groups of people in the public and narrowly examined behaviours such as competing and cooperation, negotiation and bargaining, and compliance and resistance.[1]Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate love and attachment, or sexual activity.”
(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

“Dating is a form of human courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several senses, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple. The protocols and practices of dating, and the terms used to describe it, vary considerably from country to country. The most common sense is two people trying out a relationship and exploring whether they’re compatible by going out together in public as a couple, and who may or may not yet be having sexual relations, and this period of courtship is sometimes seen as a precursor to engagement or marriage.[1][2]”
(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

Online Dating
“Online dating or Internet dating is a dating system which allows individuals, couples and groups to make contact and communicate with each other over the Internet, usually with the objective of developing a personal romantic or sexual relationship. Online dating services usually provide unmoderated matchmaking over the Internet, through the use of personal computers or cell phones.Online dating services generally require a prospective member to provide personal information, before they can search the service provider’s database for other individuals using criteria they set, such as age range, gender and location. Most sites allow members to upload photos of themselves and browse the photos of others. Sites may offer additional services, such as webcasts, online chat, telephone chat (VOIP), and message boards. Some sites provide free registration, but may offer services which require a monthly fee. Other sites depend on advertising for their revenue. Many sites are broad-based, with members coming from a variety of backgrounds looking for different types of relationships. Other sites are more specific, based on the type of members, interests, location, or relationship desired.”
(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

A Personal Commitment
“A promise is a commitment by someone to do or not do something.

In the law of contract, an exchange of promises is usually held to be legally enforceable, according to the Latin maxim pacta sunt servanda.”
(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) -

“Fear of commitment in much popular literature refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage but the problem is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well.”
(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –
BONUS FACT #1 – Marital satisfaction

“Ancient philosophers: Aristotle Ancient philosophers mused over ideas of marital satisfaction, faithfulness, beauty and jealousy although their concepts and understandings were often inaccurate or misleading.[1]Over 2,300 years ago, interpersonal relationship were being contemplated by Aristotle. He wrote: “One person is a friend to another if he is friendly to the other and the other is friendly to him in return” (Aristotle, 330 BC, trans. 1991, pp 72–73). Aristotle believed that by nature humans are social beings.[2] Aristotle also suggested that there were three different types of relationships. People are attracted to relationships that provide utility because of the assistance and sense of belonging that they provide. In relationships based on pleasure, people are attracted to the feelings of pleasantness and that they are engaging. However, relationships based on utility and pleasure were said to be short lived if the benefits provided by one of the partners was not reciprocated. In relationships based on virtue, we are attracted to others’ virtuous character. Aristotle also suggested that relationships based on virtue would be the longest lasting and that virtue based relationships were the only type of relationship that each partner was liked for themselves. Although Aristotle put forth much consideration about relationships, as like many other ancient philosophers, did not use systematic methods and therefore could not conclude that his thoughts and ideas were correct.[1] The philosophical analysis used by Aristotle dominated the analysis of intimate relationships until the late 1880s.[16]”
(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

96.6 million
“”Number of unmarried Americans 18 and older in 2009. This group comprised 43 percent of all U.S. residents 18 and older.”
“Percentage of unmarried Americans 18 and older who were women.”
“Percentage of unmarried Americans 18 and older who had never been married. Another 24 percent were divorced, and 15 percent were widowed.”
16.2 million
“Percentage of unmarried Americans 18 and older who had never been married. Another 24 percent were divorced, and 15 percent were widowed.”
“Number of unmarried men 18 and older for every 100 unmarried women in the United States.”
52.5 million
“Number of households maintained by unmarried men or women. These households comprised 45 percent of households nationwide.”
31.7 million
“Number of people who lived alone. They comprised 27 percent of all households, up from 17 percent in 1970.”
Source for statements in this section: America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2009 <> Tables A1 and A2
“The number of dating service establishments nationwide as of 2002. These establishments, which include Internet dating services, employed nearly 4,300 people and generated $489 million in revenues.”
(Source: 2002 Economic Census) (>

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #1: Cameron Diaz: Done with Men
“May 6, 2003: “Cameron Diaz has given up on men, following her split from actor boyfriend Jared Leto. She is now concentrating her efforts on nights out with the girls, according to a friend…”
“May 26, 2003: “Cameron Diaz is reportedly dating Vince Vaughn just weeks after splitting with her long-term boyfriend Jared Leto. Diaz met Vaughn when they pre-recorded segments for the upcoming MTV Movie Awards…”
(Source: Anecdotage) –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #2: Rita Rudner: Dating Advice
“Rita Rudner once offered a word of dating advice to young women. “You know how I end relationships… if I never want to see a man again, I just say: ‘I love you, I want to marry you… I want to have your children. Sometimes they leave skid marks.”
(Source: Anecdotage) –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #3: Rebecca Romijn-Stamos: Hello!!
“Lucky lads who dated Rebecca Romijn-Stamos in high-school were often bemused by her father’s efforts to put them at ease. “When they used to pick me up,” she once recalled, “Dad would open the front door… completely naked.”
[Sources: Maxim magazine; Jane, Oct 2002]
(Source: Anecdotage) –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #4: Diane Farr: Engagement Cards
“I got engaged about a year and a half ago,” Diane Farr recalled in 2004, “and I was dating a friend, and no one knew we were dating, so I sent out announcement cards to tell 300 people… Six weeks later when he called it off, I had to send out another card. The first card said ‘Engaged’ and [had] his name and my name and the date so people would know we were a couple. Six weeks later I sent out the same card, only this time it said ‘Single’ on the outside, and when you opened it, it said, ‘Picked the wrong guy, gave him the wrong finger! Thanks for your support.'” [The upside? Diane got so much positive feedback that she ended up starting a greeting card company.]”
[Sources: “Last Call” – c. Oct 12, 2004] (Source: Anecdotage) –

As a teenager, I thought about love and marriage – meeting Mr. Right and getting married. 

As a young woman about to get married, I thought about the wedding. I was looking forward to marriage (husband),  family (wonderful kids), a beautiful home and to live happily ever after. That’s everybody’s dream, right?  Well, it doesn’t always go that way. 

Middle age with marriage ended and newly single, my perspective of Mr. Right had changed.  I wanted someone with certain qualities. I was looking for him, but I also wanted to enjoy myself. Along with friends, I went to single’s events, parties and restaurants. It was an evening out and I was always glad that I went.

Later, once healed, my list was definitely different. The man to whom I would give my love would also be my friend and a companion. He used the expression, ‘partner’. I later understood that this signified sharing a joint life together.

Past the single life in a committed relationship, I see my life settled with a wonderful man with whom I can live happily ever after. I now have a love, friend, companion and yes a partner. What more can a woman ask for?

THE AUTHOR: Steve Harvey

Steve Harvey is a stand-up comnc. He is also an author. He lives on the funny side. He sees the lighter side of life. The defuses the highly charged topic of men and women. Between the smiles and the laughs, he says things that, in my mind, make the world go around better.

His TV experience include:

  • The Steve Harvey Show” (WB network show) (1996 to 2002)
  • “Steve Harvey Morning Show”, (nationally syndicated)

His books include:

  • Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man”
  • ”Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man”

THE BOOK: “Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man [Hardcover] by Steve Harvey”

This man knows things about today’s male. He knows what makes him tick and what drives him. He is very observant with a keen eye for detail. He looks inward and gathers information. He also harvests information about men from perceptive women. He gages a man’s changing wants in the decades of a life.  Now, in effect as a data miner, he extracts the precious informational nuggets with which, if used properly, a woman has a greater chance to satisfy her desires and needs. Indeed, information is power. With it, women can engineer an improved relationship.


Love, more precisely, true love, is precious and worth the effort!  

My personal comments: Dating Truths 101 according to Antoinette 

Personally speaking, I believe that human beings are made to be coupled up. Being alone is settling for half of the loaf. 

I have a few pet peeves.

Fear of getting serious? 
I feel sorry for the many people who are afraid of commitment.  They hop from one relationship to another. I remember meeting a gentleman at a single’s event who was quick to tell me that he did not believe in relationships because they didn’t last. I am sure that he was afraid to get hurt – probably due to a past love gone bad; and this fear robbed him of experiencing the joy and happiness, which he would experience in a future loving relationship. 

Big age differences? 
In my view, romantically speaking, men and women are better if they are both in the same generation and about the same age. For me, men that need to be with women who are 20 + years younger are very insecure. They are trying to stay young. And they feel that these women will look up to them.  In most cases, these women are only after their money and the lifestyle, which these men can give them. Probably, the romance will end badly with the man paying and paying and paying some more. Why can’t men see the writing on the wall? It’s obvious to me.

Looking for love in foreign countries
I think I understand the men who look for their women overseas. In my view, those who ‘buy’ their wives from a catalogue are being dishonest with themselves and running from the real problem. It is that they think that they do not measure up. In contrast, I believe that they are as adequate as the next guy, but they are not sufficiently thick- skinned in order to take rejection. Remember rejection  is a part of life. Each man from here just needs to find the woman from here that is just right for him. You know – these women are great! 

Women from here are great!

20 -something women of today: These women are well -educated, capable and hot, looking for a man who is intelligent, hard-working and is not afraid of commitment. Her goal is to find and keep love and have a family and the white picket fence and live happily all together. (N.B. Both the man and woman should never give up. Mr. Right and Ms Right are out there, waiting to be found.)

50-something women of today: These women have lived life, paid their dues – they have earned their experience. Unfortunately, some are on the wrong track, looking to be taken care of in the style they desire. In my view, these women will fail to get their meal ticket. But ladies on the proper track are ready to bring something special to the table: themselves – they are smart, fit, good looking and unselfishly able to give.  And in my opinion, they will get to the promised land. 
The point

I  contend: 

-That it’s not easy to find the right person. Sometimes, it might take awhile, but it’s well worth the trouble.  He or she will appear. It usually happens when you’re not really expecting it.

-That surveys show that people who are in good relationships live healthier and longer.


Dos and Don’ts

if single


1. Settle – instead maintain your standards;  it is not good to be with someone who is not right for you.

2. Wait for him or her to come to you; it  is best to get out there. To this end,


2.1 Go out often; remember if you’re out and about you have a better chance to meet that special someone;
2.2 Be conscious of attitude. Of course, reject bitterness – a bitter heart will repel people. Instead, put on a smile and each day-night aim to have a good time, (so that you won’t be disappointed); and if you meet someone – that is a bonus;
2.3 Note that it is difficult, for relationship purposes, to meet someone in a bar or club.    

2.4 Join committees, attend social events, house parties, etc.

2.5 Mingle and circulate whereever you are;

2.6 Say: “yes” to blind dates; you never know when you will meet the one!
2.7 Try dating on-line sites; they are very popular today.  Although I never joined up, I am told that this is the modern way. There have been success stories.
2.8 Go to speed-dating events, it’s a quick way to meet someone;
3. Give every prospect a chance – take the time to get to know him or her;

If married,

4. Recognize that it is very hard to maintain a good, healthy relationship – you have to work at it.

5. Talk to your partner – communication makes a big difference; without this, the relationship may collapse.
6. Be giving – love is about giving, compromise, sharing and respect for him and his family.  Of course, I expect the same in return … it’s a 2-way street.  Takers are selfish individuals who are not worth the time of day. 
7. Tell your mate that he or she is special – don’t take him or her for granted;
8. Make time for you and your mate to catch-up at the end of each day, more so at end of a busy week – it is important to make quality time for each other.

9. Smile when he or she is around – have fun!

10. Try to have a weekly date just the two of you, to keep the romanctic flame brightly lit. Of course, it is difficult especially with little children.  The solution? Hire a babysitter – go to a romantic, cozy restaurant and then to a show or dancing.  It’ll bring the romance  back into the relationship. 

If older

11. Be friends. As a couple get older, friendship becomes even more important.

Would you be a love and help me make the world a loving place? Thank you in advance.

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on February 20th, 2011 Comments Off on “DICK AND JANE SITTING IN A TREE, FIRST COMES LOVE, THEN COMES MARRIAGE, THEN COMES ??? IN A BABY CARRIAGE: I will tell you about dating – finding love, intimacy and commitment*”

“Chef Pasquale Carpino: I give you a fictional interview as an update*”


Vol. 1,  No. 34, February 13, 2011

TITLE: “Chef Pasquale Carpino: I give you a fictional interview as an update*”


Most of you will recall my first blog post on Chef Pasquale Carpino. It was “Chef Pasquale Carpino set off my taste buds!*” (Vol. 1, No. 6, July 19th, 2010) For those of you following the blog, you know that we at Save and Read* try new things. Today, we are thinking far out of the box. I hope you like it.  

(Editor’s Note: Due to the tremendous response to Antoinette’s first piece on Pasquale Carpino, she is doing an update. The format today is different. She gets up close and personal. In Part A, Antoinette asks questions of Chef Carpino to fit with quotes attributed to him. In addition, she asks questions to fit with facts and comments on the public record. And then in Part B, Chef Carpino asks Antoinette about her views on today’s food, cooking and wine, etc. Of course, since Chef Carpino has passed on, this is a fictional exchange. We will go back to our usual next week. Hope you like this change of pace style.) 


Antoinette: “Thank you so much for agreeing to an interview. You have many fans who want to read more about you.”

Chef Carpino: “It’s my pleasure.” 

TV program
Antoinette: “Your shows aired globally since the mid-1970s. Kitchen Express was the top daytime program on the Discovery Channel from 1990 to1992. How can you explain the great reception by legions of viewers?”

Chef Carpino: “It was a combination of many things: food, music, teaching and entertainment. It seemed to work.”   

TV host
Antoinette: “What made you such an endearing TV host?”

Chef Carpino: “It seems people found me playful and effervescent. I had a few signature expresions like: “Excuse my back”, ‎”Littlela milk, juice for the kids”, etc.


Antoinette: “What was your ethnic (national) food preference?”

Chef Carpino: “Italian, of course.”

Antoinette: “Why?”

Chef Carpino: “Obviously, it came from my upbringing in the southern Italian community of Reggio. Calabria, Italy.”

Antoinette: “What was the appeal of your food?”  

Chef Carpino:  “My specialty was simple Italian dishes. “I used ordinary ingredients; and viewers with little time felt comfortable recreating my recipes.” The recipes were “quick and easy.”

Antoinette: “How do you see yourself wearing the chef hat?” 

Chef Carpino: “The chef is like a composer, creating new recipes and adapting old ones to express the individuality that is found in each of us.”

Antoinette: “How did you name your dishes?” 

Chef Carpino: “I came up with the names of most of the recipes, many based on opera characters, composers and singers.”

Antoinette: “What were some of your specialties?”

Chef Carpino:  I covered everything: from appetizer to entree and all the way to dessert. There was Roast Beef, Gnocchi, Pickerel with Shallots and Pizza. Some viewers really liked my “sauteed cabbage with white wine & fennel seed. It included radicchio, prosciutto, garlic, onions, a bit of broth & perhaps pancetta.”

Antoinette: “What was the secret of your cooking style?” 

Chef Carpino: I will answer by using the words of a fan who really understood. “Cooking is a combination of Art, Fantasy and Vocation. A very simple way to say that we combine our artistic abilities through creation of flavours while using our imagination to remove the limits on what we combine and then package this all together with the learning and knowledge that is important for the technical side of cooking.”

Antoinette: “Did you have cute expressions about salad?”

Chef Carpino: “Yes, I used to slice a whole lettuce in two and say “saaallllaaadd is ready” Or after ripping apart a head of lettuce and cutting a tomato in quarters, I might say: ” e voila, bella insalata”.

Antoinette: “Did you have a thing for cheese?”

Chef Carpino: “Yes ….on many dishes, I often put more than the usual amount.”

Antoinette: “What part did wine play?”

Chef Carpino: “I cooked with wine. I also used to drink the same wine. I used to say often:”…and a little wine for Pasquale!!”. I also used to have a distinctive toast: ‎”AH SALUTE!” one for you and one for a me”.

Antoinette: “What about dessert?” 

Chef Carpino: “I used to say: “Now for dessert, banana (or peach/pineapple) flambee.”

Kitchen suggestions 
Antoinette: “Give me an example of your kitchen tips?”

Chef Carpino: “Here’s one: “If de pan is a little too hot, you don’t wanna stay-a-too close-a-because-a-your eye lashes will say arivaderche!”

Antoinette: “Tell me something about the place of music in your life”

Chef Carpino: “Music was my first love.” I was intensely passionate about music, most specifically Opera. My wife Evelina, was a Soprano Singer of Italian descent. When progressing my cooking career, I studied opera at the Royal Conservatory of Music.”

Antoinette:  “How did you earn the reputation as “the singing chef”?

Chef Carpino: “I love to sing and to cook.  If I sing while cooking, the food is going to be happy.”

Antoinette: “How does creativity fit in?”  

Chef Carpino: “To me, singing a beautiful song and preparing a beautiful recipe are the same. They both give us a chance to find happiness in creativity and to share that joy with others.”

Antoinette:  “Anything else about the singing?”

Chef Carpino: “I began singing to keep Beatrice (his daughter) interested in her Italian heritage and language. “She was in kindergarten and she was losing her Italian because she was in school,” “I didn’t want to force her to speak Italian. Then the idea came to sing and be colourful because children like colour.”

Chef Carpino: “Can I get in a plug for the show?”

Antoinette: “Sure.” 

Chef Carpino: “Pasquale’s Kitchen Express continues to air on OMNI 1:
* Sunday – 9:00am
* Tuesday – 2:00pm, 2:30pm
* Thursday – 12:30pm
* Friday – 12:30pm, 1:00pm, 1:30pm
* Saturday – 11:30am, 4:10am, 4:40am”

Chef Carpino: “Can I get a plug also for the books?”

Antoinette: “With pleasure.”

Chef Carpino: “My books are:
1. Today’s Cooking with Chef Pasquale: Quick and Easy Recipes from
Television’s Popular Singing Chef by Pasquale Carpino (Foreword by)
2. La Cucina Di Pasquale: Italian Gourmet Cooking
3.Recipes from Pasquales Kitchen
4.  Pasquale’s Kitchen Express Cookbook Volume Two (Pasquale’s Kitchen
Express, Volume Two)
5.  Italian gourmet cooking = La cucina di Pasquale.”

(Fact source from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –;!/group.php?gid=111924882020&v=wall


Chef Carpino: “As a cook, what is your food type specialty?”
Antoinette:  “Italian like you.”

Chef Carpino: “What other types of food do you like to eat?”

Antoinette: “I find Indian food quite delectable.”

Chef Carpino: “What is your favorite wine?”

Antoinette: “Red wine – I especially love the home made variety lovingly made by my uncles. It is surprising everytime.”
Chef Carpino: “What is your favorite opera singer?”

Antoinette: “Andrea Boccelli.”

Chef Carpino: “What is your favorite dish that you make?

Antoinette: “Lasagna – I call it “ANTOINETTA’S FAMOUS LASAGNA À LA LAZIO*”.

Chef Carpino: “What is your favorite cook book excluding your own food blog?”

Antoinette: ““Encyclopedia of Creative Cooking”,  Edited by Charlotte Turgeon, Editor of Larousse Gastronomique and The Creative Cooking Course” – but I also recommend your fine cookbook: “Today’s Cooking with Chef Pasquale Carpino” (1999).”

Chef Carpino: “What is your pet peeve about today’s cook books?”

Antoinette: “Many are too complicated. Also, they call for ingredients that are not readily available at the local stores. And definitions are in many instances, inaccurate.”   

Chef Carpino: “Do you like the crop of cooking shows being produced in 2011?” 

Antoinette: “Overall not particularly. Today, the programming is more about competition instead of the passion and enjoyment of food well made. The culinary arts are not sufficiently on a pedastol. There isn’t enough about the history of the craft and the achievements of the great chefs of yesterday.”   

Chef Carpino: “What do you like about today’s TV food stars? programs?”

Antoinette: “At present, there is some great talent out there. With cable and food networks, there is a great market and mounds of oppportunity for cooking rookies”

Chef Carpino: “What don’t you like about today’s TV food stars? programs?

Antoinette: “The programming is focused too much on competition and about speed and not enough on the food.” 

Chef Carpino: “What was your all- time favorite dish enjoyed?”

 Antoinette: “My mother’s cannelloni.”

Chef Carpino: “What was your all- time favorite food experience/story?”

Antoinette: “My daughter’s wedding. The hall was spectacular, the food preparation was exquisite and the presentation was elegant. The menu worked very well.  The main dish was ‘surf and turf’. The service was inpeccable. And joy was all around.”

I want to take this opportunity, on behalf of everyone to thank you Chef Carpino. You made your mark. You taught us how to live better by enjoying food, music and the relaxed pleasures of the table. You impacted upon the lives of many people. We lovingly remember you and thank you. Rest in peace.

And for all of you out there, part of Antoinette’s (Internet) Village*, along with your better half, go home, pull out Pasquale’s Cookbook, pour two glasses of your favorite wine, put on an Opera CD, and cook up something special. But please, on raising your glasses, say: “SALUTE CHEF CARPINO!”*

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*”

*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on February 13th, 2011 Comments Off on “Chef Pasquale Carpino: I give you a fictional interview as an update*”


Antonietta’s Kitchen
Volume 1,  Number 10,  This 9th Day of February, 2011
(Antonietta’s Kitchen*)
“the art of food, wine, family & more*”
By Antonietta La Posta



In the cold month of February in the midst of all the snow, I think of soup to warm you from the inside out! Then I choose zucchini…my way!  It works in my house.


The zucchini soup recipe is one of the many, which I inherited from my mother. I then put my own personal stamp on it. I like it because it is healthy food. I also like it since it’s perfect for a full course dinner or along with a sandwich for a light meal. It’s a big family favorite.

“The zucchini (pronounced /zʊˈkiːni/, plural: zucchini or zucchinis; from Italian: zucchina or zucchino, plural: zucchine pronounced /zʊˈkiːnay/) or courgette (/kʊərˈʒɛt/ or /kɔrˈʒɛt/, plural: courgettes) is a popularly cultivated summer squash which often grows to nearly a meter in length, but which are usually harvested at half that size or less. Along with some other squashes, it belongs to the species Cucurbita pepo. The word zucchini is the Italian name for the plant, which is why it is the more common name in Italy (zucchina/ -zucchine/i), but also in North America, Australia and Germany, while courgette is the French name for the vegetable and is more commonly used in France, but also in Ireland, the United Kingdom, Greece, New Zealand, the Netherlands, Belgium, Portugal and South Africa. Zucchini can be dark or light green, and generally have a similar shape to a ridged cucumber, although some round varieties are also available. A related hybrid, the golden zucchini is a deep yellow or orange color.[1]

In a culinary context, zucchini is treated as a vegetable, which means it is usually cooked and presented as a savory dish or accompaniment. Botanically, however, the zucchini is an immature fruit, being the swollen ovary of the female zucchini flower.”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –


The onion is any of a variety of plants in the genus Allium, specifically Allium cepa. Allium cepa is also known as the “garden onion” or “bulb” onion. Above ground, the onion shows only a single vertical shoot; the bulb grows underground, and is used for energy storage, leading to the possibility of confusion with a tuber, which it is not.[1] It is a close relative to garlic.

Allium cepa is known only in cultivation,[2] but related wild species occur in Central Asia. The most closely related species include Allium vavilovii (Popov & Vved.) and Allium asarense (R.M. Fritsch & Matin) from Iran.[3] However, Zohary and Hopf warn that “there are doubts whether the A. vavilovii collections tested represent genuine wild material or only feral derivatives of the crop.”[4]
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) -


The tomato is a savory, typically red, edible fruit, as well as the plant (Solanum lycopersicum) which bears it. Originating in South America, the tomato was spread around the world following the Spanish colonization of the Americas, and its many varieties are now widely grown, often in greenhouses in cooler climates.
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –


The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family (also known as the nightshades). The word potato may refer to the plant itself as well as the edible tuber. In the region of the Andes, there are some other closely related cultivated potato species. Potatoes were first introduced outside the Andes region four centuries ago, and have become an integral part of much of the world’s cuisine. It is the world’s fourth-largest food crop, following rice, wheat, and maize.[1] Long-term storage of potatoes requires specialised care in cold warehouses.[2]
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

Vegetable boullon cubes

A bouillon cube [ˈbuːjɒn kjuːb] (US) or stock cube (UK and Australia) is dehydrated broth (bouillon in French) or stock formed into a small cube about 15 mm wide. It is made by dehydrating vegetables, meat stock, a small portion of solid fat (such as hydrogenated oil), salt and seasonings and shaping them into a small cube. Dehydrated broth is also available in granular form.
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) –

Why do I prefer S. Martino brand vegetable boullon cubes (6 cubes 66 g)

It is very tasty – it adds great flavor to the soup. 


To make this soup, you need a sauce-pot or soup pot (3–12 liters). Saucepans and saucepots are measured by volume (usually 1–8 L).

Why do I prefer this type of pot

It is what you need and the results are there.



7-8 zucchinis
2 medium onions
2 large tomatoes
2 medium potatoes
2 vegetables cubes
pepper and salt

1. Cut 7-8 zucchinis into 1/4 slices;
2. Cut 2 medium onions into small pieces;
3. Cut 2 large tomatoes into small cubes;
4, Cut 2 medium potatoes into small cubes;
5. Place in a large pan: 

  • zucchinis,
  •  onions,
  • tomatoes,
  • potatoes; andvegetable cubes. 

6. Add water and fill to the top of the pot; 
7. Add pepper and salt to suit your taste; 
8. Bring to a boil and lower to medium heat;
9. Let it simmer for approximately 2 hours; and

10. Mash up all the ingredients with a big fork.


Viola that’s it!  Can’t you just taste it? Good eating!

Take this dish out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
And that’s my food favorite for the week – what’s yours? *
-Web Tech:
The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on February 9th, 2011 Comments Off on “ANTOINETTE’S FAMOUS ZUCCHINI SOUP*”


Vol. 1,  No. 33, February 6th 2011



On the occasion of Valentine’s day, my book of the week is: “Love Story” by Erich Segal. Hence, my topic is love and the festivities on this special day.

IT WORDS FOR ME!*: Saint Valentine’s Day; etc.
Saint Valentine’s Day
“Saint Valentine’s Day, commonly shortened to Valentine’s Day,[1][2][3] is an annual commemoration held on February 14 celebrating love and affection between intimate companions.[1][3] The day is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 500 AD. It was deleted from the Roman calendar of saints in 1969 by Pope Paul VI, but its religious observance is still permitted. It is traditionally a day on which lovers express their love for each other by presenting flowers, offering confectionery, and sending greeting cards (known as “valentines”). The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished. Modern Valentine’s Day symbols include the heart-shaped outline, doves, and the figure of the winged Cupid. Since the 19th century, handwritten valentines have given way to mass-produced greeting cards.[4]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia).-’s_Day

Bonus fact #1: St. Valentines Day – Historical facts
“Numerous early Christian martyrs were named Valentine.[5] The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb. m. Romae) and Valentine of Terni (Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m. Romae).[6] Valentine of Rome[7] was a priest in Rome who was martyred about AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. His relics are at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome,[8] and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.Valentine of Terni[9] became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) about AD 197 and is said to have been martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino).[10]The Catholic Encyclopedia also speaks of a third saint named Valentine who was mentioned in early martyrologies under date of February 14. He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him.[11]No romantic elements are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the 14th century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost.[12]In the 1969 revision of the Roman Catholic Calendar of Saints, the feastday of Saint Valentine on February 14 was removed from the General Roman Calendar and relegated to particular (local or even national) calendars for the following reason: “Though the memorial of Saint Valentine is ancient, it is left to particular calendars, since, apart from his name, nothing is known of Saint Valentine except that he was buried on the Via Flaminia on February 14.”[13] The feast day is still celebrated in Balzan (Malta) where relics of the saint are claimed to be found, and also throughout the world by Traditionalist Catholics who follow the older, pre-Second Vatican Council calendar.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –’s_Day

Bonus fact #1-A: St. Valentines Day – Romantic legends

“Saint Valentine of Terni and his disciples.The Early Medieval acta of either Saint Valentine were expounded briefly in Legenda Aurea.[14] According to that version, St Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II in person. Claudius was impressed by Valentine and had a discussion with him, attempting to get him to convert to Roman paganism in order to save his life. Valentine refused and tried to convert Claudius to Christianity instead. Because of this, he was executed. Before his execution, he is reported to have performed a miracle by healing the blind daughter of his jailer.Since Legenda Aurea still provided no connections whatsoever with sentimental love, appropriate lore has been embroidered in modern times to portray Valentine as a priest who refused an unattested law attributed to Roman Emperor Claudius II, allegedly ordering that young men remain single. The Emperor supposedly did this to grow his army, believing that married men did not make for good soldiers. The priest Valentine, however, secretly performed marriage ceremonies for young men. When Claudius found out about this, he had Valentine arrested and thrown in jail.There is an additional modern embellishment to The Golden Legend, provided by American Greetings to, and widely repeated despite having no historical basis whatsoever. On the evening before Valentine was to be executed, he would have written the first “valentine” card himself, addressed to a young girl variously identified as his beloved,[15] as the jailer’s daughter whom he had befriended and healed,[16] or both. It was a note that read “From your Valentine.”[15]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –’s_Day

Bonus fact #2: Saint Valentine’s Day massacre

“The Saint Valentine’s Day massacre is the name given to the murder of seven people as part of a prohibition era conflict between two powerful criminal gangs in Chicago, in 1929: the South Side Italian gang led by Al Capone and the North Side Irish gang led by Bugs Moran. Former members of the Egan’s Rats gang were also suspected to have played a large role in the St. Valentine’s Day massacre, assisting Capone. Capone might have ordered it after Bugs’ gang machine-gunned Al Capone’s headquarters.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – <’s_Day_massacre


Candy is Dandy
“1,233 – Number of locations producing chocolate and cocoa products in 2007. These establishments employed 38,794 people. California led the nation in the number of such establishments with 143, followed by Pennsylvania with 115.
Source: County Business Patterns <>
23.8 pounds – Per capita consumption of candy by Americans in 2008.”
Source: Current Industrial Reports <>

“- $403 million – The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut flowers in 2008 for all flower-producing operations with $100,000 or more in sales. Among states, California was the leading producer, alone accounting for about three-quarters of this amount ($314 million).
– 24 million – The combined wholesale value of domestically produced cut roses in 2008 for all operations with $100,000 or more in sales.”
Source: USDA National Agricultural Statistics Service <>

“27,484 –
Number of jewelry stores in the United States in 2007. Jewelry stores offer engagement, wedding and other rings to lovers of all ages. In February 2009, these stores sold $2.2 billion in merchandise.”
Source: County Business Patterns <> and Monthly Retail Trade and Food Services <>

Be mine
“2.16 million
The number of marriages that took place in the United States in 2008. That breaks down to a little less than 6,000 a day.”
(Source: National Center for Health Statistics)>

Giving Love a Second Chance
“3 1/2  – The median time in years between divorce and a second marriage.
52%, 44% – Among adults 25 and older who have ever divorced, the percentage of men and women, respectively, who were currently married.”
(Source for the data in this section, unless otherwise noted: Marriage and Divorce: 2004) <>
(Source: U.S. Census Bureau) –

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1:  Valentine’s Day 2010 – Feb. 14

“Opinions abound as to who was the original Valentine, with the most popular theory that he was a clergyman who was executed for secretly marrying couples in ancient Rome in spite of Emperor Claudius II, who felt that marriage weakened his soldiers. In any event, in A.D. 496, Pope Gelasius I declared Feb. 14 as Valentine Day. Through the centuries, the Christian holiday became a time to exchangelove messages, and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. Esther Howland, a native of Massachusetts, is given credit for selling the first mass-produced valentine cards in the 1840s. The spirit of love continues today as valentines are sent with sentimental verses, from and to young and old romantics.”

(Source: U.S. Census Bureau) –

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Trends

(NC)”Looking to make an impact this year with your loved one on Valentine’s Day? The latest consumer trend is to avoid the traditional and stale options of chocolates and flowers for women and shirts and ties for men and choose [UTF-8?]“smart† gifts that you know your better half will enjoy.

A new gift concept called Smartbox takes the guessing out of gift giving and offers you a chance to give fun, thoughtful gifts that will leave your loved ones impressed on any occasion.

When you offer a gift to someone you love, you want to make sure they’ll actually enjoy it, because we all know the feeling of receiving a gift that just wasn’t ‘us’. Smartbox is the perfect solution to ensure your loved one will light up every time, said David Meyers, CEO of Smartbox.

A new and simple gift concept, Smartbox enables that special someone to choose their own gift experience so gift givers are certain to delight every time. Choose from the 9 different themes, such as restaurants, spas, gateways, adventures or exploration, each with hundreds of options, Smartbox is the perfect personalised gift and allows people to discover new and exciting experiences they would never have found on their own.

The concept is simple: choose a theme, buy the related Smartbox, and give it as a gift (or use it yourself!). A glossy illustrated guidebook is included in the package to let the recipient choose from up to 900 different experiences, activities and escapes. They then reserve a date and time to redeem their gift experience directly with the supplier using the contact information included in the guidebook. Gift recipients need only bring their Smartbox gift certificate with them on the day of their reservation to redeem it. The value of the gift is never revealed to the recipient so they will have no idea how much you paid. All packages are all inclusive except for travel expenses.

The man in your life likes adventure? Now, you can offer him an original and fulfilling experience by letting him choose between surfing, kayaking, paintball, sailing, paramotor tandem and many other options. Your wife who has everything enjoys great food? You can now offer her a gourmet dining experience in a restaurant that suits her tastes.

Smartbox themes include restaurants, spas, gateways, adventures and exploration. Smartbox is available at more than 450 retail locations including Zellers, Jean Coutu and Home Outfitters (Déco Découverte) in Quebec, Ontario, Alberta and British Columbia and online at  ”
News Canada

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #1: Bit Brazen?

“The Los Angeles Times once published a Valentine’s Day story on several prominent couples, among them Arnold Schwarzenegger and his lovely wife, Maria Shriver. According to the story, on the very day the couple met, Schwarzenegger told Maria’s mother: “Your daughter has a great body.” Los Angeles Times media critic David Shaw – thinking the comment ‘a bit brazen, even for Schwarzenegger’ -later asked the actor whether he had actually said it. “No,” Schwarzenegger replied. “I said, ‘Your daughter has a nice ass!'”
(Source: -

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #2: Happy Valentine’s Day
“In February 2003, Kelly Osbourne’s boyfriend Bert made a surprising announcement during his band’s Valentine’s Day concert. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said. “I love you and you’re my favorite person in the world – but we’re breaking up.”
(Source: –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTE* #3: “I sent flowers today”
“I sent flowers today,” Dana Carvey announced on Valentine’s Day, 2005. “I got this Lebanese florist. He says, ‘What do you want to say on the card?’ ‘Okay, darling sweeetheart -‘ ‘Darling sweeetheart – What else? What else? What else? What else?’ ‘I love you so much your mere touch excites me.’ ‘Mere touch excites me. What else? What else? What else? What else?’ And the finally, he says, ‘I have a suggestion: Why don’t you say, “If you ever leave me I will hunt you down and kill you and your lover.” They love the passion.'”
(Source: –


At my home, Valentine’s Day was not celebrated.  My father did not buy gifts for my mother,  although they had a good marriage.

However, I do have fond memories from grade school, when I exchanged cards with my school friends.  I always hoped to get as many cards as possible.  As a youngster, I thought that this told me how popular I was and how many kids in my class liked me.  I also got cards from friends other than my class mates. 

When older, we did not make a big deal on Valentine’s Day … just a few chocolates, cards and a telephone call or two. 

Later when divorced and single, I had friends in a like situation, who were not bothered by Valentine’s day. Truth -for me, it was hard- this was a significant day, which I tried to ignore.  It reminded me that I was no longer a part of a couple. Everywhere I went that day, I noticed how many people were coupled up.  I dealt with this by planning to go,  along with my girl friends,  to a singles’ event.  And on the day, I enjoyed myself – in the end, the day was entertaining and fun.

At present, with my significant other, Valentine’s day is not easy due to our busy schedules. It’s not what we do that is important: we could go out for a dinner for two or enjoy a quiet supper at home. Nevertheless, it is important that we take pause and make time for each other – it’s that important. The gifts, cards and dinner are not the key – it’s quite simple really, it’s that there is mutual respect and we are ‘in like’. Of course, “love Is all around” and we are together. We even smile at each other.

THE AUTHOR: Erich Wolf Segal

Erich Wolf Segal, born in Brooklyn N.Y., was an author, screenwriter and Ivy League university professor. His star crossed with the Beatles as he wrote the srceenplay of the 1968 motion picture, “Yellow Submarine”. His fame skyrocketed with the novel, “Love Story”. It was a best-seller and the movie of the same name was a huge hit – it was the number one box office attraction of 1970. Segal authored other books. Segal suffered from Parkinson’s disease and died in 2010 from a heart attack.  He was not known as a master of fluff. Instead, he was recognized as a very intense person whose perseverance was remarkable.
(Fact source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia)


Several of his books were:

  • [1970], Love Story, Oxford bookworms, Oxford University Press, OCLC 271780786 
  • (1977), Oliver’s Story, Granada, ISBN 9780246110077 
  • (1985), The Class, Bantam, ISBN 9780593010044
  • (1988), Doctors, Toronto, ISBN 9780553052947 

Several movies based upon Segal’s books were:

  • Yellow Submarine (1968)
  • Love Story (1970) – Ali McGraw and Ryan O’Neal starred as the lovebirds. Ray Milland was the father. It was the No. 1 movie of 1970. Tears flowed non-stop. 
  • Oliver’s Story (1978)

BOOK: “Love Story” by Erich Segal

This was a romantic yarn, borderline soap opera. Yet it worked and struck a chord with baby boomers. Indeed, it became the classic of a generation. Of course, boy meets girl, but there was more, much more.  Oliver Barrett IV was a rich kid from a family of blue blood lawyers who became enthralled with a young woman, a mere commoner type. But this lady was smart, spunky and she spoke her mind. Harvard was the place. The boy played rough and tough hockey and studied hard at law school. The girl looked great, had style and was a true lady. “Preppy” was a phrase used often. His parents objected- read – a demanding and over bearing father thought he could do better. The young man was a real man and stood up for his beloved.  They married. He became estranged from his father/parents. The couple was happy. But life got in the way! From this book came one of the great lines of the century: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry!”

It sold over 21 million copies in 33 languages. I liked it. I think that it is a candidate meriting to be discovered by generation Y and beyond.


A person is better off having love in his or her life. Valentine’s Day is the day to celebrate this love.

My personal comments

Most people think that Valentine’s Day is about the love between a man or a woman. My take is different. Let me be clear. I think Valentine’s Day is a celebration of all love.

First, it is a celebration of the love between a person and his or her parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, etc. If you are able to love – it means that you can feel. Indeed you are blessed and have a gift. If you are the recipient of love – it gives you a feeling of belonging, being part of a family. Indeed,  you are blessed and have a gift.

Second, it is a celebration of the love between a person and his or her significant other. If you are able to love – it means that you have passion and are alive. Indeed, you are blessed and have a gift. If you are the recipient of love –  It makes you feel loved and complete. Indeed, you are blessed and have a gift.

Third, there is another love – the love of pets. While I have an allergy and do not have a pet, I have friends who love their pets. I think that this is great as well. If you have a pet that lovingly wags a tail when you come home, you are blessed and have a gift. If you lovingly pat your pet, when you come home, you are blessed and have a gift.

In my opinion, Feb. 14th is highly commercialized for financial purposes.  Many businesses make money on this day – restaurants, florists, chocolates and candy stores and card stores. It could be considered as one of their prime times during the year.  Billions of dollars are spent for gifts on this day.  This says something of the importance of the day.
In my perception, it is important to have love in your life because it makes you flourish.  Studies show that a baby that is loved but barely fed, still grows up happy and healthy.  Whereas a baby that is well fed, but not loved, grows up unhealthy and may even die.

The point

When it comes to love, I say that it is all about a glass of water, 1/2 full and 1/2 empty.
Celebrating this day does not require that you now have a man (or woman) in your life.
If you are lucky to love and have love, then see the glass 1/2 full and appreciate what you do have. If you want more, then go out and find it! Make your very own “Love Story” – you can do it. There is someone out there perfect for everyone.

Everyone should:
1. Make love a part of your life;
2. Recognize the TRUE love that you DO have in your life;
3. Acknowledge your loved ones;
4. Celebrate Valentine’s day – it is a feel good thing to do;
If with a living parent,
4.1 Show you care by taking a moment to:
4.1.1 Send a greeting card;

4.1.2 Make a phone call on the day of, saying: ” I love you”; a simple kindness is worth so much!

5. Buy him or her a bag of doughnuts, hot buns, bagels or whatever, if in the same city; giving such is an excuse to go and say you that you appreciate him or her being part of your life! 
If with adult children,   
6. Invite them for a homemade dinner with all of their favorite dishes;
7. Buy a card  – saying that you love a child, even one all grown up, and you are so proud of him or her – saying so  NEVER goes out of style!  
If with a good friend,
8. Buy a little something which suits him or her; thoughtfulness combined with knowledge of the individual plus effort sends a powerful message to your friend: that you are a great friend; 

9. Send him or her the name of this post at with the phrase, “I appreciate our friendship” – Now that’s something different and an attention getter!    
If in a romantic relationship
10.1 That the fast pace of daily life makes it difficult for people to nurture a relationship;
10.2 That Valentine’s Day is the moment when a couple should stop and smell the coffee;
10.3 That your efforts to make this a special day for you and your significant other could make a difference in the quality and future success of the relationship; 
11. Stop and send the following text message: “I love you!”

12. Make a date -it doesn’t have to be expensive; take advantage of the opportunity to have fun with your better half and enjoy his or her company!
13.Pay attention to a mate, to his or her likes and desires – this will move him or her!
14. Buy something special … as a token of love – it could be a greeting card, flowers (or a single rose) or something personal, (e.g., jewelry, fragrance, clothing, etc.);   
15. Make your very best dish with a bottle of wine or bake a dessert that says he or she has been really good! 
16. Rekindle the romance in the relationship if that is needed;
If single,
15. Recognize the value of friendship;

16. Pick up a phone or send a text to a friend (platonic) and say: “Hi, let’s have a coffee or do something on Valentine’s day weekend.”

17. Go  with your friends to a singles’ event;

18. Have a blast whatever you do! 

Oh boy, look at the time. I have so much to do in preparation for Valentine’s Day. Gotta go …Love ya! 

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on February 6th, 2011 Comments Off on “SPENDING VALENTINE’S DAY ALONE (OR NOT) – I HAVE THOUGHTS & IDEAS*”


ANTOINETTE’S MEMO #1* – February 6th, 2011

TO: Readers,
FROM: Antoinette
Happy February!

We at Save and Read* S & R* are moving forward.
I have a TWITTER page – it is located at:  saveandread – please register as a follower.
I have a FACEBOOK page – it is located at: Alp Save Andread – please check it out.

I have decided to have a mailbag feature, entitled “Antoinette’s Village Wall*”, where readers can send an e-mail letter to me (at,  expressing their point of view, in a format longer than a comment. I will try to make room for as many voices as possible. The first one is “SHOPPING” by Wendy from Montreal. It is a great piece. Hope you like it

If you are interested in submitting an e-mail letter to be published, send it to:
That’s all for now.
Have a great week.
Yours truly,
1. N.B. It is understood that by this sending, you agree that Save And  Read* (S&R*) acquires such content and consent to Save And Read* (S&R*) publishing the same in any and all media/formats.

-Web Tech:
The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
———————————————————————————————————————SHOPPING by Wendy

Dear Antoinette,

I thought about writing something that really interested me and all I could come up with was SHOPPING or, if you prefer as I do, retail therapy. Please don’t think of me as superficial, it’s just that there is a sidewalk sale going on in our mall it intrigued me.  Now, I know that in this time of financial difficulty and employment instability, the last thing we should be doing is spending money but this is about what interested me, not what was good for me, so here goes.

Why is it that a sidewalk sale gives me goose bumps? The first time I stumbled onto the Ste Catherine sidewalk sale, I thought my head was going to explode – miles and miles of sales. Okay, after that first year, I realized that the sales were just okay and you really had to look hard to find a great bargain but they were there. And every year since, I make sure that I have no other plans for that weekend. My husband rolls his eyes and begrudgingly comes along to carry the bags. He just doesn’t get it. But get what? If it was just the shopping, I could do that anywhere at any time. Why does a sidewalk sale excite me so?

That’s when it hit me, the reason why that type of shopping so excites me. It’s not the spending of money or even the buying of that item you always wanted. It’s the hunt; the conquest; the finding of the perfect thing at the lowest price it will ever be in history of man. Is there no other greater satisfaction? It’s like you have won a battle against the evil merchants who are trying to take all your money and give you nothing in return. Yes. I know it’s called Capitalism but I don’t have to like it. It’s us against them I tell you. 
So you return home with the victory in hand and realize that you have won a battle but it is only one battle and there is still a war to be waged and the perfect birthday present to be bought for your favorite niece and a pair of shoes that look good and don’t hurt your feet. Let’s not even think about Mother’s day. You know you have to prepare but you also know you are up for it. You’ve proved you can go the distance. Hell, your Christmas shopping was completed by August 1st and the only way you are going to bet that time isby starting right now. Christmas in July will have a whole new meaning.

Okay, gotta go, that sidewalk sale just called my name. Charge!    
Wendy from Montreal

(Editor’s Note: We slightly edited the material soley for format reasons.)

Dear Wendy,

I love the point of view which you offer. Your piece adds to our understanding on the subject of shopping.  Bravo Wendy. Please write again.


Posted by on February 6th, 2011 Comments Off on ANTOINETTE’S VILLAGE WALL* – Feb.6th, 2011