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DISCIPLINE CHILDREN: I have articles, books, facts, How – to and an opinion on spanking!*

No. 2, Vol. 40, February 27th, 2012

TITLE: “DISCIPLINE CHILDREN: I have articles, books, facts, How – to and an opinion on spanking!*”

INTRODUCTION: I am again turning my attention to our kids. This week, I am writing about the discipline of children. “To spank or not to spank?, that is the controversial question. My book of the week is “1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12” by Thomas W. Phelan. (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on parenting.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, March 4th, 2012): I am also thinking about bedtime. A good night’s sleep is important in the life of a child. It’s not only about getting ready for bed and turning off the lights; it’s also about the need for winding down (no electronics), quality time between parent & child- indeed, reading your child a story (story time) is bonding time). I say: “Lights out … now settle down, it`s time for Mr. Sandman … don’t let the bed bugs bite.” (Editor’s Note: This will be another post in a continuing series on parenting.)

BONUS PREVIEW (Sunday, March 11th, 2012): As well, I am thinking about school dress codes, the good, the bad and the ugly! Some say: “The tie and grey flannel pant/skirt, white shirt/blouse, cardigan, outfit looks trim and proper and also builds school spirit. Others say: “It’s stuffy and pretentious building uniformity. Instead, they explain that it’s better to be fashionable even in grade school but of course in high school. They add that putting the best foot forward is not age related. I say that school is about learning. If afraid about prefect-monitors or the fashion police, drop by and join the debate. (Editor’s Note: This will be another post in a continuing series on parenting.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

As a child, my mother scolded me. When it came to punishment, my parents didn’t think twice before one of us was spanked. They were old school. In those days, that was how children were disciplined at home.

I also remember the school principal, as a form of punishment, giving the strap on a student’s hand. To reprimand, teachers would also use a ruler on the hand. At a certain point, schools abolished this form of punishment and gave out detections instead.

As a mother, when my daughters were toddlers, spanking was not my method of discipline. I relied on my stern voice to alert them that they were misbehaving. My daughters often joke about that now.

Today, as a grandmother, I watch how my daughter, now a mother herself, deals with discipline. As a teacher, she has an added point of view. Her technique is one of correction. First, she explains to the child what he/she has done wrong; and then she instructs him-her not to do it again. Today, my daughter uses time-out as the penalty for misbehaving.

Looking back, my stern voice may not have been the best form of punishment; time-out would have been a better form of punishment.

THE AUTHOR:Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.

Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist. He received his Doctorate from Loyola University, Chicago. His work record includes a stint at the Loyola Child Guidance Center (internship, 1970), DuPage County Mental Health Center (-1972), and then private practice. Dr. Phelan is a member of the American Psychological Association and the Illinois Psychological Association. Interested in ADD, he serves on the boards of directors for both ADDA and CHADD. Married for 32 years, living in Glen Ellyn, Illinois; he and his wife have raised two children. Phelan is a lecturer and also an author – his articles appear in numerous regional and national publications.

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles

Several are:

“1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12” – October 1, 2010
“1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12” – February 1, 2004
“1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12” – March 1, 1996
“Surviving Your Adolescents: How to Manage-and Let Go of-Your 13-18 Year Olds”
“1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12” – January 1, 1995
“Self-Esteem Revolutions in Children: Understanding and Managing the Critical Transitions in Your Child’s Life”

THE BOOK: “1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12”/ Thomas W Phelan

Moms and Dads, there is a doctor in the house. The problem is arguing, yelling, spanking and of course the frustration. The emphasis is on talk and persuasion. He has the method of disciplining children ages 2- 12. For him it’s a numbers game: 3-steps, to manage naughty behavior, promote good behavior, build parent-child bond;10 – strategies to strengthen a child’s ego; 6- types of testing and manipulation by the child … It`s as simple as 1-2-3! The doctor makes many good points. Parents have something to learn from him.

CONCLUSION

Most people agree that kids need discipline. But there is a difference of opinion of what and how it should be done.

Personal Comments

I believe that:

Good discipline should not punish, but rather teach a child.
Proper behavior is learned by kids; and their parents need to make the effort and instruct.
A close relationship between parent and child is important.
Parents must have control; they also need to have self control- no hitting allowed.
Spanking is not the right way to discipline children. It causes harm by:
- Building aggression;
- Teaching that hitting is how a person deals with a problem;
- Instilling fear rather than understanding; and
- Putting a distance between parent and child.
Nowadays, parents will not tolerate their children being hit by anyone even at school.
Before imposing the punishment, it may be best to tell the child that you are considering making it something greater and then reduce it to something much less.
Time-out may be the best form of punishment – not more than five minutes; it will force a child to calm down and think on his/her actions and why he/she is being punished.

The Point

It is essential that children be reprimanded when they have done wrong. What is the best form of punishment? That is a controversial question. But I say that it must teach not hurt!

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

Parents should:

The Start

Be a role model – remember kids mimic their parents;
Be positive with kids – they react well with that; more precisely,

2.1 Show your children affection;

2.2 Praise them whenever possible;

3. Keep control – the kids must never be in control; and of course, don’t lose control.

4. Don’t use corporal punishment – some of you might have had more first-hand knowledge of spanking; but it does show aggression;

5. Have a set of realistic rules and enforce them;

Negative behavior

6. Point out the unacceptable acts, but don’t sweat the small stuff;

7. Explain briefly the misdeed;

8. Specify the punishment; and connect it as the consequence of the misdeed.

9. Act on this punishment without delay; if you wait, the child will not recognize the connection between the misdeed and the punishment.

10. Move on – don`t harp back to the misdeed.

Discipline is not crime & punishment. Instead, this is about teaching the children; and I say: “Teach them well!”

===============================================================

ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Spacey Fired Up
”Growing up in California, Kevin Spacey was a difficult child. Years later, he was asked why, at the age of 14, his parents had shipped him off to military academy following a domestic fracas. “I won’t tell you exactly what the incident was that made my parents send me to military school,” Spacey replied. “Let’s just say it involved my sister’s tree-house and some matches.”

(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=6329)

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Spanker
“During a guest appearance on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” one evening, Bob Morley recounted a recent episode which had left him somewhat rattled.

“On Hollywood Boulevard today a woman said to me, ‘Hey, baby, I’ll spank you for $20,'” Morley recalled. “I called my Mom and told her, ‘You’d better get down here. You can make a lot of money!”

(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=1330)

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Parental Solution
“Both of Stout’s parents were incessant readers. Indeed, even with nine children in the house, his mother’s reading was rarely interrupted. Her secret? Beside her chair, she kept a bowl of cold water and a washcloth – with which the face of the first child to disturb her would be thoroughly washed.”

(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=8845

S & R* QUOTE #1: Robert Fulghum

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/children

S & R* QUOTE #2: Letty Cottin Pogrebin

“If family violence teaches children that might makes right at home, how will we hope to cure the futile impulse to solve worldly conflicts with force?”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) = http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/children/)

S & R* QUOTE #3: Theodore Roosevelt

“No ordinary work done by a man is either as hard or as responsible as the work of a woman who is bringing up a family of small children; for upon her time and strength demands are made not only every hour of the day but often every hour of the night.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/children/)

ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “child discipline”; “spanking”; “time-out”

Child discipline

“Child discipline is the set of rules, rewards and punishments administered to teach self control, increase desirable behaviors and decrease undesirable behaviors in children. In its most general sense, discipline refers to systematic instruction given to a disciple. To discipline thus means to instruct a person to follow a particular code of conduct.^[1] While the purpose of child discipline is to develop and entrench desirable social habits in children, the ultimate goal is to foster sound judgement and morals so the child develops and maintains self discipline throughout the rest of his/her life.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_discipline)

Spanking

“Spanking refers to the act of striking the buttocks of another person to cause temporary pain without producing physical injury.^[1] It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanking)

Time-Out

“A time-out involves temporarily separating a child from an environment where inappropriate behavior has occurred, and is intended to give an over-excited child time to calm down and thereby discouraging such behavior. It is an educational and parenting technique recommended by some pediatricians and developmental psychologists as an effective form of child discipline.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time-out_(parenting))

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:

“Child discipline is a topic that draws from a wide range of interested fields, such as parents, the professional practice of behavior analysis, developmental psychology, social work, and various religious perspectives. Because the values, beliefs, education, customs and cultures of people vary so widely, along with the age and temperament of the child, methods of child discipline vary widely.

In western society, there has been debate in recent years over the use of corporal punishment for children in general, and increased attention has been given to the concept of “positive parenting” where good behaviour is encouraged and rewarded.^[2]

The primary guidelines followed by medieval parents in training their children were from the Bible. Scolding was considered ineffectual, and cursing a child was a terrible thing.^[5] In general, the use of corporal punishment was as a disciplinary action taken to shape behavior, not a pervasive dispensing of beatings for no reason. Corporal punishment was undoubtedly the norm. The medieval world was a dangerous place, and it could take harsh measures to prepare a child to live in it. Pain was the medieval way of illustrating that actions had consequences.^[6]

In many cultures, parents have historically had the right to spank their children when appropriate. Attitudes and legislation in some countries have changed in recent years, particularly in continental Europe. Domestic corporal punishment has now (2009) been outlawed in 24 countries around the world, most of them in Europe or Latin America, beginning with Sweden in 1979.

In North America, Britain and much of the rest of the English-speaking world, corporal punishment remains highly controversial. In the United States, corporal punishment of children by their parents remains lawful in all 50 states.

Some studies have suggested that spanking may lead to more misbehaviour in the long run, and some researchers have linked what they describe as “authoritarian” child-rearing practices with children who withdraw, lack spontaneity, and have lesser evidence of conscience.^{[11][12][13][14]}

Stress positions, such as murga punishment in South Asia or forced prolonged kneeling (sometimes on beans or salt to increase discomfort), are used as punishment for children.

Non-physical discipline consists of both punitive and non-punitive methods, but does not include any forms of corporal punishment such as smacking or spanking.

A common method of child discipline is sending the child away from the family or group after misbehavior. Children may be told to stand in the corner (“corner time”) or may be sent to their rooms for a period of time.

Grounding is a form of punishment, usually for older children, preteens and teenagers, that restricts their movement outside of the home, such as visiting friends or using the car.

Scolding involves reproving or criticizing a child’s negative behavior and/or actions.

Some research suggests that scolding is counter-productive because parental attention (including negative attention) tends to reinforce behavior.^[17]

While punishments may be of limited value in consistently influencing rule-related behavior, non-punitive discipline techniques have been found to have greater impact on children who have begun to master their native language.^[18] Non-punitive discipline (also known as empathic discipline and positive discipline) is an approach to child-rearing that does not use any form of punishment.

Positive discipline is a general term that refers to both non-violent discipline and non-punitive discipline.

Praise (encouraging words) and intangible rewards (hugs, time with the child, etc.) is an effective method of encouraging good behavior.

Natural consequences involve children learning from their own mistakes.

Children who are punished without further reasoning are more likely to repeat the offense and may simply make more of an effort not to get caught.^[citation

Parents may feel that positive parenting and non-punitive discipline is too permissive and will lead to unruly and disrespectful children. They also argue that there is no recourse for parents of misbehaving children to effectively control their misbehavior. Deliberate misbehavior, they say, must be firmly punished to prevent its recurrence[“

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_discipline)

SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: Involve your kids in the kitchen

“The kitchen is an engaging place for kids as they learn by playing, touching, and tasting. Letting your kids experiment will encourage them to try new foods and teach them valuable kitchen skills. Breakfast for Learning, a national charity dedicated to child nutrition programs, offers the following tips for getting your little chefs involved.

Before you get started, teach your children the two simple rules of the kitchen:

1. Wash hands before and after touching food. Scrub with soapy water for the amount of time it takes to sing the ABCs.

2. Ask to taste. To stop the spread of food-borne illness from raw food like chicken and eggs, make sure kids ask to sample food before they taste.

A child’s hands are the ultimate kitchen tool; even young children can participate in meal preparation. For example, children can:

Tear foods like lettuce and pull grapes from vines;

Remove the peel off fruit;

Mix ingredients;

Measure dry ingredients;

Push buttons on blenders, toasters, and microwaves (with supervision);

Set the oven timer and tell you when it’s done.

Involving kids in the kitchen allows them to learn about food and nutrition, spend quality time with an adult, and have fun.”

www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Healthy food ideas when kids get a snack attack

“For busy parents, finding easy, healthy snacks can be a challenge. Even the most organized parents can become overwhelmed and stressed trying to balance multiple nutritional needs with their toddler’s food preferences.

Ensuring the best transition from breast milk or formula, to a balanced diet of solid food meals and snacks, requires patience and planning. Take a look at these easy, healthy, on-the-go snack ideas:

Steamed veggies, such as carrots or broccoli, cut into pieces: Softening them by steaming makes this snack easier for toddlers to eat. Vegetables such as broccoli contain vitamin C, which helps in the absorption of iron.

A single-serving of dairy on its own, or paired with iron rich breakfast cereals like rolled oats: For optimum nutrition choose a transitional milk product, one adapted to toddlers as the step before regular milk, and one includes all the vitamins and nutrients toddlers need. These include omega-3 DHA to support the normal development of the brain eyes and nerves in children under 2 years of age; vitamin C which helps improve the absorption of iron; vitamins A, D, and B6 which work together to help build strong bones and teeth; and with 4 per cent fat content which is an important source of energy for brain and tissue development.

Low-sodium dry cereal, or cracker: This type of snack can be a great source of dietary fibre. Foods that contain less sodium are generally easier on toddler tummies.

Fruit, such as berries, grapes or melons cut into bite-sized pieces: These finger foods make for a sweet, refreshing snack, without any added sugar.

With toddlers growing at such a rapid pace and needing to refuel between meals, healthy snacks can help complement a balanced diet of solid foods. Planning nutritious, easy to carry snacks that tots can practice eating on their own will help keep them happy and full between meals, and remain healthy and active.

More information on these topics, along with some additional tools and resources can be found online at www.natrelbaboo.com.”www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on February 27th, 2012 Read More 16 Comments

FIND MR. / MS RIGHT: I have the secret, tips..HOW -TO!*

Vol. 2, No. 39, Monday, February 20th 2012
TITLE: “FIND MR./MS RIGHT: I have the secret, tips..HOW-TO!*”

INTRODUCTION
If looking for Mr./Ms Right, I have an opinion.  Is he or she a Fantasy or Reality?
Hence, my topic is true love and finding it. My book of the week is: “Looking for Mr. or Ms Right” [Paperback] by Roselaine Joseph (Author).  (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)
P.S. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say… you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment?  I’ll try not to interrupt.

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 26th 2012): Whew, Valentine’s Day has come and passed. Now, I’m thinking about the other loves in my life … my grandkids. The topic is disciplining children. One question that I ask is: “Do we spank or not?” I encourage you to come by. I won’t be cross if you disagree. I promise not to send you to sit in the corner! (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on family, child rearing, education, etc.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

Before I met my Mr. Right, my goal was to meet the right person. I attended many single events in the hope of meeting him. One of the events that I attended was a play and dinner at a restaurant. The play was about a man who was looking for a perfect woman with whom he could share his life. He wrote down 10 qualities, which he wanted in this woman. During his search, he confides in a friend. The first woman arrived at the door. She had all 10 of the requested qualities; but he then discovered that there was one quality that he found problematic. Thus, he altered his list to make that particular quality suit him. She left and soon another woman arrived at the door. The new woman was not working out either. This went on woman after woman. At the end of the play, he tells his friend that he has come to a new conclusion. There is no perfect match!

The question is: “Who is my Mr. Right?” I say that I found him – he is Mr. Right for me and that’s what’s important.

THE AUTHOR: Roselaine Joseph

Raised in Florida, Roselaine Joseph is interested in the right relationships between men and women. Divorced, she knows that mistakes happen – she has lived them. She knows that the divorce rate is high. She believes that life is made happier by a relationship. So do I. She passionately believes in writing to uplift and bring laughter, but she also wants people to learn something that they can use in betterment of their daily lives. I like that.

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles:
Several are:
• Looking for Mr or Mrs Right – Paperback – March 2008 (published through AuthorHouse)
• Nightmare – Paperback – January 2009
• Nightmare – Paperback – January 2008

THE BOOK: “Looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right” by Roselaine Joseph (Author)
Roselaine Joseph is a romantic exploring the meaning of love. She thinks that communication and honesty are way up on the ‘must-do’ list. (I say that partners should be on the same page, both literally and figuratively, pushing or pulling in the same direction.) She says that bad decisions and mistakes can be avoided. She uses shared experiences to illustrate her thinking. Men and women, single or in a relationship will find something useful here.

CONCLUSION
The controversial question is “Looking for Mr./Ms Right – is he or she a fantasy or a reality?” In any event, the right person is hard to find.

Personal Comments
Here are some thoughts that I have:

We all want to live happily ever after.

Mr./Ms Right is on the mind of most people. It’s what we all aim for. While you want what you want, remember, that you need to be Mr./Ms Right to the other person. I ask you to ask yourself: “Am I?”
There is no such thing as “Love at First Sight”.
Chances are the person who you have in mind is not your perfect match. Your soulmate will probably not be what you’re expecting.
Accept him/her for whom he/she is; don’t try to change him/her.
You need a loving partner who, by his/her presence will improve you; and will love you unconditionally. But that also means, in turn, that by your presence, you will improve him/her, and that you must love him/ her unconditionally. Indeed, it takes two to tango
It’s a two way street. I say: Give to the right person and you’ll receive!

The Point

Each of us has a certain person in mind, with whom he or she would like to spend the rest of the life given us.

This special person is not the same for everyone. Mr. Right for you might not be Mr. Right for me.

As long as he or she has most of the qualities, that you’re looking for in a person, you should consider yourself fortunate.

He or she must have compatible values. But chemistry between two people is also very important.

If you’re expecting to feel butterflies in your stomach every moment that you look at your mate, you’re not being realistic.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

Everyone should:
1. Recognize that women and men are different – “Vive la difference!”
2. Make yourself visible and get out there.
3. Be natural and confident on your search for Mr./Ms Right.; in this regard,

3.1 Keep an open-mind when meeting someone.

3.2 Don’t shut the person down at first glance.
3.3 Give the person a chance – you might be pleasantly surprised.
3.4 Try to get to know what he or she is about.

3.5 Pay attention to body language when meeting someone new;

4. Do not count on love at first sight – awareness of a soulmate might not be immediate.
5. Know that your soulmate will probably be someone who is not what you originally expected.

I found the secret to true love. My Mr. Right, with a big smile on his face, tells me often that he is nearly perfect. I smile back not saying much. He knows that I know that he is not perfect. But, I, on the other hand, know that I am a perfect 10. (Strictly between you and me ,… I’m just kidding). I think that he knows that’s true. With this understood, we get along very well…*

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: True Love
“On the morning after Jack Benny’s death, his widow, Mary, received a single long-stemmed rose from the local florist. When another rose was delivered the next day, Mary called the florist and was told her of an order her husband had placed before he died: He had made provision in his will for the florist to supply “one perfect red rose daily for the rest of Mary’s life.”
(Source: Anecdotege) -http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=684

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Automotive Genius
“A real-life Gatsby, Walter Chrysler had got rich enough fast enough to marry his beautiful Daisy, only to realize that the true love of his life was his car. As a young husband and fgather, he blew the family savings and went deep into debt to buy a brand-new Locomobile, whose ivory body he recalled for decades as his ‘siren’s song.’ “He didn’t long so much to drive it though – he waited three months for that – as to dissect it, working in his garage over every valve and knob until he could have built the vehicle from scratch. ‘Had I been Aladdin,’ he wrote, ‘I’d have taken that old lamp apart to see if I could make another, better lamp.'”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=15510
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Good One
“In 1997, Robert Downey Jr had his probation revoked (after yet another drug-fueled binge) and was sentenced to serve six months in a Los Angeles County jail. One day, he was surprised to have convicted celebrity wife-beater Tommy Lee join him in his cell. “Hey man,” Downey said by way of introduction, “it’s good to see you!” [Lee was a little less enthused: “This isn’t really where I want to say hi,” he remarked… Among Downey’s other memorable moments? Muttering about being patient and finding love while scrubbing toilets with another prisoner, and, more dangerously, wearing a yellow flower stuck behind his ear.]”
(Source: Anecdoatge) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=11342

S & R* QUOTE #1: Paul Newman
“I don’t like to discuss my marriage, but I will tell you something which may sound corny but which happens to be true. I have steak at home. Why should I go out for hamburger?”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

S & R* QUOTE #2: Richard Bach
“True love stories never have endings.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

S & R* QUOTE #3:Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama
“The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “falling in love”; “love”; “soulmate”
Fall in Love
“In romantic relationships, “falling in love” is mainly a Western term used to describe the process of moving from a feeling of neutrality towards a person to one of love. The use of the term “fall” implies that the process is in some way inevitable, uncontrollable, risky, irreversible, or that it puts the lover in a state of vulnerability, in the same way the word “fall” is used in the phrase “to fall ill” or “to fall into a trap”. The term is generally used to describe an (eventual) love that is strong, although not necessarily permanent.”
Love
“Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.[1] Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection; and “the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another”.[2]”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love)
Soulmate
“A soulmate (or soul mate) is believed by some to be the person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, sex, intimacy,
sexuality, spirituality, or compatibility. A related concept is that of the twin flame or twin soul, which is thought to be the ultimate soulmate.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate)

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“According to Theosophy, whose claims were modified by Edgar Cayce, God created androgynous souls—equally male and female. Later theories postulate that the souls split into separate genders, perhaps because they incurred karma while playing around on the Earth, or “separation from God.” Over a number of reincarnations, each half seeks the other. When all karmic debt is purged, the two will fuse back together and return to the ultimate.[2][3]
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate)
Age at First Marriage
Since the 1950s, the median age at first marriage has risen for both men and women, increasing from 23 for men and 20 for women in 1950, to 28 for men and 26 for women in 2009.9 Table 3 shows the percentages of men and women who were ever married, ever divorced, or married two or more times by selected ages. Data are shown for 5-year birth cohorts, from 1940 to 1944 through 1980 to 1984. Reflecting the rise in the median age at first marriage, the percentages of men and women born in 1980 to 1984 who were married by age 20 (7 percent and 16 percent, respectively) were about one thrd the percentages of those born in 1940 to 1944 (22 percent and 48 percent, respectively).An examination of the trends in the proportions of people ever divorced is more complicated because this indicator is a function of the proportions of both people getting married and those getting divorced. Data from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) indicate that the annual divorce rate for married women increased sharply from 15 to 20 divorces per 1,000 between 1970 and 1975, a period when divorce laws were changing. However, subsequent estimates indicate that the divorce rate per 1,000 married women leveled off at about 20 per 1,000 women in the mid-1970s and stayed at about that level through the mid-1990s. Most of us take only one trip down the aisle. Among all currently married couples in 2009, 72 percent were made up of a man and woman who were each in their first marriage. Looking only at recently married couples, which gives us an idea of current patterns, 65 percent of couples who married during 2008 were in their first marriage.At the other end of the spectrum, a small percentage, just 1 percent, of currently married couples consisted of a husband and wife who had both been married three or more times. Another 6 percent of currently married couples included one spouse who was in at least their third marriage. Between these extremes, 22 percent of currently married couples included at least one spouse who was in their second marriage.Couples who got married during 2008 looked similar, with 25 percent including at least one spouse who was in their second marriage and a slightly higher 9 percent including one spouse in their third or higher order marriage.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/p70-125.pdf)

SCHEDULE III

S & R* NEWS ALERT*: Respect and kindness will bring you lasting love

“(NC)—The majority of seniors over the age of 75 say love and romance remains an important aspect of their lives. That’s just one of the key findings from the Revera Report on Romance.

Mendel and Valerie, residents at Revera’s Pine Villa Retirement Residence, couldn’t agree more and want to share their advice for a lasting relationship.

Mendel and Valerie met at a dance in Ottawa shortly after World War Two. Now married 60 years, the couple say they get along so well that they rarely have any disagreements. Their advice for a lasting relationship is to always try to be respectful and kind to each other, regardless of the situation. After six decades of marriage, three children and eight grandchildren, Mendel still counts his blessings. “Valerie’s love and compassion,” he says, “makes me the luckiest man in the world.”

More stories of love and romance from today’s seniors – as well as the full romance report—are available online at www.reveraliving.com.”

www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT*: Baby boomers: Love the second time around

“(NC)— Family portraits have changed in recent year as couples merge their lives through second marriages. Half of all divorced Canadians have remarried reports Statistics Canada. An additional 22 per cent of divorced men and women intend to remarry. “A second marriage can be a beautiful occasion, but it comes with certain challenges of combining finances and families,” said Elaine Wilson, vice president of Fiduciary Trust Company of Canada. “Ensure you discuss the details of merging your lives before you say ‘I do’ again.”

A few things you should consider before remarriage are:

Financial planning: Meet with your investment advisor to go over your financial situation. There may be changes that you need to make with spousal RRSPs and your investments. Consider the possibility of a prenuptial agreement prior to marriage to protect your individual finances.

Estate planning: As with a first marriage, remarriage invalidates your existing will unless it has been specifically prepared in consideration of this wedding. With an estate planning professional, prepare a new will to reflect the change in marital status and revised estate plan. You may want to consider creating a trust to ensure that your children, new spouse and possibly new family are taken care of in the future.

Retirement’s looming: Remember that you have less time to save for a joint retirement. Discuss what you have each saved already, your investments and what your retirement plans are for the future to ensure that you have continued wedded bliss.

More information on financial and estate planning is available at www.fiduciarytrust.ca.”

www.newscanada.com

Posted by alaposta on February 20th, 2012 Read More 3 Comments

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.* Volume #2

Vol. 2, No. 38, Sunday, February 12th 2012

TITLE: “BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*Volume #2”

INTRODUCTION

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching … two days and counting. To help you in the mating dance, I wrote my first blog post titled, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*”(Vol. 2, No. 22, October 23, 2011). Last week, I did an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. I had a lot of material … Here is my 2nd installment. It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. Let’s go. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 19th 2012): If looking for Mr./Ms. Right, I have an opinion. Let’s dialogue. If you want straight talk, come on over. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say… you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment? I’ll try not to interrupt. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

During the time that I was attending my single events, I would observe, from a distance, a man putting the moves on a woman. It was interesting to watch. But when I was the object of a man’s attention, it was personal … and I fretted a little. I knew that if a man was interested in me – I needed to look for hints at what he was looking for. That was my focus and the number one piece of information that I wanted. I tried to pay attention to his signals, if any. I asked myself, “Was he presenting himself as somebody respectable?”

When all else failed, I went with my intuition.

During my single days, I was told many times by my male friends that I was sending out the wrong signals. Apparently, my body language was saying: “I’m not open to meeting a man. Don’t come near me, I do not want to be approached.” I realized that I had to change. I needed to transmit a ‘come-on-over’ message. Soon, I was meeting men. Alas, my body language was now giving out the right signals.
Body language is a form of communication. Although I don’t speak it well and I don’t understand it well, I recognize that I do it … we all do. But some of us do it better than others. While I’m not an expert – I wanted to learn more about reading and sending body language. Now I want to share with you all what I have learned.

THE AUTHOR: Tonya Reiman
Tonya Reiman experienced life as a child born in the sixties. She attended Pace University and graduated with a General Studies degree. A life changing experience was an incident when a psychology professor came ‘nose- to- nose’ with her in order to demonstrate the significance of “personal space”. She is a Certified Hypnotist, holding a NGH certification; she had a private practice, No Boundaries Hypnosis, in Smithtown, Long Island. She is an author and motivational speaker. She is a political commentator, featured as a contributor on The O’Reilly Factor and on the Fox News Channel She penned articles on body language published in Cosmopolitan, Life & Style, Time, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Woman’s World and Positive Thinking. (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonya_Reiman)

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books/Articles:
Several of her books are:
•”The Yes Factor: Get What You Want, Say What You Mean, the Power of Persuasive Communication”.
•”The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter”

THE BOOK: “The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy” by Tonya Reiman
I started with the question: “What attracts the opposite sexes to one another?” I also wondered what makes us attractive. In this book, Reiman, a history lover, considered the topic of human attraction and seduction and asks how it’s changed through the years. She looks at body parts both male and female. She wants to know, if and why, each is attractive or unattractive. She recognizes dating success or failure. She explains that attraction is: a) Biological; b) Physical; c) Chemical; d) Mental. Her message is also that attraction: is: e) Detectable; f) Manageable and g) Maneuverable. Reiman has made a contibution to the knowedge on seduction, conversation, connection, and enduring romance. It’s a ‘HOW-TO’ guide. If ovcr 18, you have a learners’ permit. Read it and meet Cupid sooner than later.

Personal Comments

Winning at love starts at the preliminary round. This is the warm up and flirting is on the menu. If interested, this is where the signal is to be sent. In the dating game, suceess or failure depends upon correctly reading body language and giving off the right non-verbal signals.
Flirting is not necessarily an invitation for or offer of sex.
Be conscious that your body language reveals how you feel about others.
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects when you meet someone. Maintaining the right level comes across as showing courtesy plus the interest in what the person has to say. Holding someone in a long gaze is a sure sign of interest. Other signals may be more subtle.
Once you send an inviting signal to the opposite sex, it’s harder to shut down the opening. It could then get uncomfortable or even dangerous.
Learn to read body language correctly. Observe people. Try to guess what’s on their mind.
Look for eye contact, strong hand shake – ask youself, “What is revealed by his or her body language?” He or she is responding to stimuli, consciously or unconsciously.
Reading someone clearly is job #1 – doing this better can save you a lot of headache.
Be careful to send out the right message. Subconsciously, at times, we may be sending the wrong message.

The Point

The skill is knowing what to look for and being observant. Learning to read body language is a very useful social skill. The knack is also to make your signals fit your wishes.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET* Volume #2
Everyone in the dating scene should note:

11. Eye level:

11.1 Eyes:

a) Good: (i). Prolonged glance (as opposed to a quick glance) is an indication of interest; (ii). Moving the eyes sideways is an act that might be bold or flirtatious; (iii). Looking quickly to the right might indicate fascination or a positive remembrance; (iv). Looking up and down is a scanning move, looking for information;
b) Noteworthy: (i). Looking down – a head down is an indication of shyness. For women, gazing downwards could be a reflex – it could be a defensive or a deferential stance. Or, if in their ‘inspector’ mode, theyprobably are looking at a man’s shoes since footwear -type and condition – is an indicator of personality. (ii). Blinking too much might be a sign of nervousness; (iii). Averting eye contact could be a sign of deceit; (iv). Winking is not cute – it is a defensive manoeuver; (vi). Looking quickly to the left might show any one of: anxiety, fear or lying – you guess.

c) Bad: (i). Rolling up eyes is a sign of rejection; (ii). Closing eyes is a shut off sign – it indicates a person is exhibiting a contrary attitude and saying: “I will not listen to you or abide by your wishes”. (N.B. However, sometimes, it could be an indication of an intelligent person, taking a moment to think and formulate a good answer. (iii). Staring hard is behaviour that could be either evasive or indicative of one pulling rank, being aggressive or threatening. (N.B. Staring back is a measured response.)

11.2 Eyebrows: a) Both raised says that he or she would like to talk to you; b) One raised indicates skepticism;

11.3 Movements at face level: a) Over -wearing sun glasses (especially indoors), might be an indication of a desire to hide; b) Stroking finger with forefinger could show deception; c) Holding up a coffee cup could be defensive in order to create something of a barrier; d) Tugging ear shows indecision and uncertainty, maybe even deceit.

12. Nose: a) Nose movements: (i). Flaring nose is indication of anger and rage; (ii). Nose in air means feelings of superiority; (iii). Twisted nose shows disapproval or disgust; (iv). Wrinkled nose shows mild- level disapproval; (b) Contact to nose: (i). Holding nose is a gesture that means that something is rotten; (ii). Touching nose is an indication of someone unsure or hiding something; (iii). Poking finger inside a nostril is not only gross, but maybe an indication that something else is going on; (iv). Putting finger on nose shows feeling of great revulsion;

13. Mouth:

13.1 Types of smile:

a) Small: It shows: (i). Non-aggression; the non-verbal statement is: ”I’m not going to attack you”. (ii). Happiness; (iii). Approval; (iv). Ease & comfort;

b) Large & open: It shows friendliness; the non-verbal statement is: ”Lets get together”.

c) Tight: It could show: (i). Embarrassment- something internal is not being exhibited externally;

d) Angry: It’s a combo indicator of someone pretending to be positive, but in reality, feeling extreme displeasure. This is passive- aggressive behavior.

e) Nervous: It shows discomfort;

13.2 Movements:

a) Puckering lips: It’s the start of a kiss; it’s disclosure of an intent to be romantic … you connect the dots.

b) Pursing lips: It shows tenseness or disapproval;

c) Biting lips: It’s an indicator of great anger;

d) Starting to laugh: It could be a precursor of inflicting punishment;

13.3 Contact to mouth:

a) Finger on lower lip: The non-verbal statement is: ”I want to talk to you”.

b) Hand over mouth: This suggests to me that a lie is being told; The non-verbal statement is: ”I am looking for a substitute”.

14. Head movements:

a) Nodding shows agreement. The non-verbal statement is: ”I am listening to you”.

b) Resting head on hands might indicate tiredness; the non-verbal statement is: ”I cannot understand what you are saying, but that I want to do so.”

c) Rubbing neck is a sign of uncertainty;

d) Stroking one’s chin might signify a state of intense reflection and pensiveness;

e) Rubbing one’s chin might be an indication of disbelief of what is being told;

f) Yawning – a social yawn could signify mild stress.

15. Arms:

a) Showing hands is a positive signal. It’s s a fact that a person in authority like law enforcement always asks to see a suspect’s hands. It illustrates openness by a person, such building trust.
b) Lifting up arms is a movement that is strong and dominant.

c) Touching someone on the shoulder is also dominant.

d) Placing arms behind head exposing body core shows no fear. This wide-open gesture indicates an outgoing person, someone confident and extraordinary.

e) Putting arm over next chair shows someone taking over more space. The non-verbal statement is: ”I am in control”.

f) Holding hands behind the back signifies confidence and ease in exposing one’s body core. It also shows leadership and a sense of control. This is typical of Prince Phillip, consort of Queen Elizabeth.

g) Holding one hand above the other shows frustration.

h) Folding arms in front is a defensive manoeuver; the non-verbal statement is: “I am not happy, I see negativity maybe even full- blown dislike. I am impatient to get away from you”.

i) Crossing arms is an indication of anxiety.

j) Putting palm out is a negative response. The non-verbal statement is: ”I don’t know if I can help you”.
k) Placing arms on hips and smiling is not a good sign if a man – he is looking for an arrangement with a woman, ‘bimbo style’.

l) Showing armpits by a woman siugnifies a sexual opening. The non-verbal statement is: “Let’s do it!”

16. Posture:

16.1 Standing:

a) Standing-up straight with good posture signifies someone positive and reliable. I think standing- up straight and tall makes one look bigger to the other person.

16.2 Sitting

a) Sitting-up straight, both feet on the ground and straight back signifies rigidity and persistence over and above, a positive attitude and reliability.

b) Sprawling out suggests someone negative and undisciplined.

c) Crossing legs (by a man) shows stubbornness.

d) Hugging a leg (by a man) is a positive sign. The non-verbal statement is: “I am ready for the coming encounter”.

e) Sitting on the edge of a seat signifies eagerness and readiness to leave; the non-verbal statement is: “I’m going to be going”.
f) Leaning forward signifies someone being adventurous, a real risk taker; the non-verbal statement is: “I am opportunistic”.

g) Straddling a chair (by a man) signifies that I am not conventional. The non-verbal statement is: “I’m in my house and talking charge”.

h) Putting hand under chair (by a man) signifies that he is interested.

17. Proxemics: This is the space between people. If intimate, it starts at 18 inches going to 4 feet. A distance of 12 feet is a bit much. Closer signifies interest and further shows disinterest. Appropriate signifies respect and inappropriate shows lack of concern over social propriety.

18. Body positioning:

a) Taking big steps signifies confidence and individualism (as opposed to little steps which indicates much less confidence.) The non-verbal statement is: “I am forthright!”

b) Taking little steps signifies much less confidence. The non-verbal statement is: “I am cautious!”.

c) Leaning back is closed.

d) Clamping back at neck is a gesture showing anger.

e) Leaning against doorway is showing interest and desire to make the deal. The non-verbal statement is: “Don’t leave… let’s continue the conversation”.

19. Body Movements

a) Copying the acts of another person – this is where a person duplicates the movements of someone else. This mirroring effect, on the surface shows interest and is complimentary, but matching could foretell lack of self perception of self -worth. Someone who exhibits copycat behavior doesn’t see himself or herself highly. The non-verbal statement is: “Use caution”.
b) Tapping foot on floor: The standstill action signifies the desire to go. The non-verbal statement is: “I am bored …I want to run…”

c) Wrapping legs around signifies a sense of attachment. The non-verbal statement is: “I am related…”

d) Crossing leg on leg high on the knee, with soul of shoe visible: This is bad. The act of showing the soul of your shoe is highly disrespectful to people particularly in the Middle East.

e) Hugging one’s foot: This signifies someone a bit panicky The non-verbal statement is: “I am afraid of this situation..”

20. Hands

a) Hand Shakes: (i). Firm hand shake – this is good; the non-verbal statement is: “Yes”. (ii). Soft but firm, social hand shake (suitable for a woman) – this is good; the non-verbal statement is: “Yes”. (iii). Bone-shattering shake – this is extremely offensive; the non-verbal statement is: “No”. (iv). Limp shake – this is very bad; the non-verbal statement is: “No”.

(v). Two-handed double clasp – This is confident and near dominant behavior, possibly a tad pushy. The non-verbal statement is: ” I am being true blue, trustworthy and I accept your hospitality”.

b) Drawing fingers: Playing with one’s fingers is distracting and shows insecurity; the non-verbal statement is: “I want to run away”.

c) Putting hands away: It is suggestive of secrecy; the non-verbal statement is: “I am not interested in you”.

d) Making a fist: It is indicative of anger and acceptance to the use of aggression; the non-verbal statement is: “I want to hit you”.

e) Offering an open hand: It is suggestive of welcome; the non-verbal statement is: “I am interested in you”.

f) Jingling keys or change: This fidgeting behaviour shows nervousness or tension; the non-verbal statement is: “I am not happy being here”.

g) Pulling at pants: It signifies disbelief; the non-verbal statement is: “I don’t believe in you as a person and what you are saying”.

h) Fiddling wedding ring (by a man): It indicates to me that something is wrong with his current relationship; the non-verbal statement is: “I am not free and clear. My suggestion is: “Run like the wind”.

i) Stroking a tie (by a man): It signifies to me that he earnestly wants to make a good impression; the non-verbal statement is: “Stop and look at me …slow down take a really good look!”

j) Hand steeple gesture (upwards): This complex hand move signifies that I am a thoughtful person, showing confidence; the non-verbal statement is: “I am intelligent and smart just like Mr Spock, Sherlock Holmes, etc.;

k) Hand steeple gesture (downwards): This complex hand move more often used by women; the non-verbal statement is: “I am a good listener”.

21. Hand signs

21.1 “OK” hand sign: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad:  a) Western democracies: Everthing is alright! b) Japan: Money; c) France: Zero! (worthless) d) Turkey:  Gay; e) Germany:  Something rude; f) Greece: Something obscene;
21.2. Churchill’s “V” sign: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Outside hand – the message is: “Up yours”; b) Inside hand (Europe) – Seeing that in medieval times, a victorious army might cut off the two fingers of an archer from the losing army, this sign is indicative of removing your offensive or defensive capability;
21.3 Thumbs up sign: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Canada, China, etc.:  Good; b) Australia, Iran: The message is: “Up yours”; c) Nigeria: The expletive is: “F??k”

21.4 Beckoning finger (calling) gesture: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Phillipines: Something nasty; b) Asia: The non-verbal statement is: “Welcome, please come in and spend money (it’s also good luck.)
21.5 Pointing finger ‘like a gun’ gesture: Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) This is indicative of someone angry and unfriendly; and if poking, it signifies dominance, anger, aggressiveness, the threat of assault; the non-verbal statement is: “Don’t come closer”.

21.6 Stop gesture (5 fingers): Depending where you are in the world, it could be good or bad. a) Turkey – It says: “You’ll get nothing out of me”. b) West Africa – It says: “5 fathers”; c) Greece – It is highly insulting;

Body language will shed light on a potential suitor (for women) and a future love interest (for men). Stop, look and listen to the signals being sent loud and clear. Have a LOVELY Valentine’s Day!*

==============================================================================================
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Julia Sweeney: Pat
“Julia Sweeney once revealed the inspiration behind her classic character – the androgynous “Pat” – on “Saturday Night Live”: “I’d been an accountant for like five years, and there was one person I worked with in particular who had a lot of mannerisms like Pat. This person sort of drooled and had the kind of body language of Pat. I started trying to do him. I was testing it out on my friends and they were just like, ‘Yeah, it’s good, but it doesn’t seem like a guy that much.’ Like I couldn’t quite pull off being in drag convincingly enough. So then I thought, maybe that’s the joke. I’ll just have one joke in here about we don’t know if that’s a man or a woman just to sort of cover up for my lack of ability to really play a guy convincingly!”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=21285)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Muammar Qaddafi: Body Language
“In March 2004, Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi met with British Prime Minister Tony Blair for a widely-televised interview in a tent in the desert. Only later did Blair learn that showing another man the soles of one’s feet, as Qaddafi did (to Blair) throughout the interview, was understood by Arabs as a major sign of disrespect.”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=19368)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3:Nixon Down Under
“One day during his presidency, Richard Nixon landed in Australia for a state visit. As he stepped from the plane, Nixon made a peace sign (as was his custom) to signify solidarity with his Aussie hosts. Some time later he was delicately informed that, in Australia, the so-called ‘peace sign’ (unless the palm is facing out) is the equivalent of an American display of the middle finger.”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=2263)
S & R* QUOTE #1: Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday.”
(Source: Wisom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index14.html)
S & R* QUOTE #2: Benjamin Franklin
“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
S & R* QUOTE #3: Captain Jean-Luc Picard
“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. played by Patrick Stewart, from the film “Star Trek: Generations”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “body language”;
Body Language
“Body language is a form of mental and physical ability of human non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“It is important to note that some indicators of emotion (e.g. smiling/laughing when happy, frowning/crying when sad) are largely universal;[citation needed],[4] however in the 1990s Paul Ekman expanded his list of basic emotions, including a range of positive and negative emotions, not all of which are encoded in facial muscles.[13] The newly included emotions are:
A study in body language.
1. Amusement
2. Contempt
3. Contentment
4. Embarrassment
5. Excitement
6. Guilt
7. Pride in achievement
8. Relief
9. Satisfaction
10. Sensory pleasure
11. Shame
Body language signals may have a goal other than communication. People would keep both these two in mind. Observers limit the weight they place on non-verbal cues. Signalers clarify their signals to indicate the biological origin of their actions. Examples would include yawning (sleepiness), showing lack of interest (sexual interest/survival interest), attempts to change the topic (fight or flight drivers).
Physical expression
“Physical expressions like waving, pointing, touching and slouching are all forms of nonverbal communication. One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest.[6] This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. Consistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn’t trust the speaker enough to “take their eyes off” the speaker. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin.Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused.Interest can be indicated through posture or extended eye contact, such as standing and listening properly.[citation needed] Deceit or the act of withholding information can sometimes be indicated by touching the face during conversation. Excessive blinking is a well-known indicator of someone who is lying. Recently[when?], evidence has surfaced that the absence of blinking can also represent lying as a more reliable factor than excessive blinking. [7″
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: WOZA
WOZA gives roses as a symbol of love and peace on Valentine’s Day This Valentine’s Day, courageous women in Zimbabwe will be handing out paper roses in the streets. Jenni Williams, the leader of Women of Zimbabwe Arise (WOZA), has lost count of how many times she has been arrested maybe 37 or 38, she says. Jenni and her colleague, Magodonga Mahlangu, are only two of the many women who have been arrested, ill-treated, intimidated and harassed for their peaceful human rights work in this southern African country. Members often give out paper roses during their peaceful marches to symbolize their slogan of love and peace. At a Valentine’s Day event in Bulawayo last year, WOZA marched with banners proclaiming The Power of Love can conquer the Love of Power and handed out roses to the public. Three of the 53 women arrested had simply been watching. At trial, the prosecutor decided against legal action, and the activists walked free after paying fines.WOZA was formed in 2003 to defend human rights amidst the political violence in Zimbabwe, and continues their work today by mobilizing to improve living conditions for all Zimbabweans. WOZA members organize vocal and colourful peaceful demonstrations to protest
government policies that lead to a worsening social, economic and human rights situation in the country. Police arrest even children, women carrying babies and pregnant women. Officers release many without charge, but take advantage of repressive legislation such as the Public Order and Security Act and the Miscellaneous Offences Act to charge some of them.The government, in an effort to prevent public protest and criticism of its policies, has become increasingly intolerant of the work of human rights defenders and is actively seeking to silence them. WOZA members will continue by peaceful means to use their freedom to meet together and criticize government policy. Members of Amnesty International around the world are calling for the protection of WOZA members and all human rights defenders in Zimbabwe. A free information kit about how to help protect the rights of people in Zimbabwe and other countries around the world is available from Amnesty International, 1992 Yonge Street, Suite #315, Toronto, Ontario, M4S 1Z7, or
at www.amnesty.ca/zimbabwe.
www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Tips for singles on Valentine’s Day By Maja Begovic
Valentine’s Day can conjure up feelings of loneliness for those without a mate. But being alone is cheaper, easier, and it’s probably better than going out on some random date, or being with a person you’ve been meaning to break up with for months. If you don’t have a date, don’t stay at home and pout. Here are some ideas to help you celebrate the day of love:
1. Realize that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.
2. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine’s Day.
3. Resist the temptation to turn off your phone and crawl into bed early. Book a deep tissue massage at a fantastic spa, followed by a manicure and pedicure. Host a fondue party or a potluck at your house, or grab a few single friends and book a sightseeing flight over your city.
4. Do you know a couple with children who never go out because they just don’t feel they can afford a babysitter? Offer them a free night of babysitting and let them enjoy a romantic night out.
5. Nothing spreads the love faster than doing a little volunteer work. Take time to remember your good fortune and learn about how you can help improve the lives of children living in poverty through a non-profit organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada (www.ccfcanada.ca).
6. If you are single, but would rather not be, think about what is standing in the way of you and a new relationship. Find ways to work on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with. Start therapy. Take up yoga. Take action to change the world. It is into the fullest lives that love is most likely to fall.
www.newscanada.com
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved

Posted by alaposta on February 12th, 2012 Read More 122 Comments

Antoinette’s Famous Liquor Cake(Famoso torta di liquore di Antonietta)

Vol. 2, No. 4, February 11th, 2012
CUCINA D’ANTOINETTA*(Antonietta’s Kitchen*) “the art of food, wine, family & more*”By Antonietta La Posta

TITLE: “Famoso torta di liquore di Antonietta*” (“Antoinette’s Famous Liquor Cake*”)

SPECIAL ALERT: URGENCY – HIGHEST LEVEL (INTRODUCTION)

Attention all wannabe seductresses and pickup artists! With the coming of Valentine’s Day, romance and dating is on the minds of many people. Can you just picture a party for two? It’s hot…hot…hot! If eating in, once the pre-dinner drinks are done and after the main dish has been served and enjoyed, what should come next? I suggest that you serve him or her my famous liquor cake? Here’s my toast: “Salute amore mio!” If tempted, read on…(Editor’s Note: This is a kitchen section of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 12th 2012): Valentine’s Day is fast approaching…two days and counting. To help you in the mating dance, I wrote my first blog post titled, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*”(Vol. 2, No. 22, October 23, 2011). Last week, I did an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. I had a lot of material…Tomorrow, Feb. 12, 2012, I will offer my 2nd installment. Why don’t you come by and check it out? It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*
This was my Mom’s recipe. It’s a very delicious cake. But it’s not for everyday as it is made with whiskey and so it is expensive to make.

SAVORY INGREDIENTS PLUS*
Several are:

Eggs
“Eggs laid by females of many different species, including birds, reptiles, amphibians, and fish, have been eaten by mankind for millennia. Bird and reptile eggs consist of a protective eggshell, albumen (egg white), and vitellus (egg yolk), contained within various thin membranes. Egg yolks and whole eggs store a lot of protein and choline.[1][2] For this reason, the USDA (United States Department of Agriculture) categorizes eggs as Meats within the Food Guide Pyramid[1] Popular choices for egg consumption are chicken, duck, roe, and caviar. The egg most often humanly consumed by far is the produce of the chicken.” (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egg_(food)
Why do I prefer large size/brand
I prefer large size because it is perfect size – it makes the right amount. I like PRESTIGE CLUB PACK from Burnbrae Farms because they are good quality and fresh.

Sugar
Sugar is a class of edible crystalline carbohydrates, mainly sucrose, lactose, and fructose,^[1] characterized by a sweet flavor.(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sugar

Lemon
The lemon is both a small evergreen tree (Citrus × limon, often given as C. limon) native to Asia, and the tree’s ellipsoidal yellow fruit. The fruit is used for culinary and non-culinary purposes throughout the world – primarily for its juice, though the pulp and rind (zest) are also used, mainly in cooking and baking. Lemon juice is about 5% to 6% (approximately 0.3 M) citric acid, which gives lemons a sour taste, and a pH of 2–3. Many lemon flavored drinks and foods are available, including lemonade and sherbet lemons, as well as lemon and seasoning salt as a snack. The distinctive sour taste of lemon juice makes it a key ingredient in many dishes across the world. (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemon

Chocolate (semi-sweet) baking squares

Chocolate is a range of products derived from cocoa (cacao), mixed with fat (i.e. cocoa butter and/or plant oils) and finely powdered sugar to produce a solid confection. There are several types of chocolate according to the proportion of cocoa used in a particular formulation….“Semisweet chocolate” is frequently used for cooking purposes. It is a dark chocolate with (by definition in Swiss usage) half as much sugar as cocoa, beyond which it is “sweet chocolate.” (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Types_of_chocolate

Why I prefer Baker’s Semi-Sweet Baking Chocolate Squares, 8-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 4)
It is a good brand. I have been buying it forever. It is consistently good at a fair price.

Baking powder

Baking powder makes the cake rise.

Why I prefer Magic brand powder
It is very relaiable.

Crisco Oil
“Crisco is a brand of shortening produced by the J. M. Smucker Co. popular in the United States. Introduced in June 1911[1] by Procter & Gamble, it was the first shortening to be made entirely of vegetable oil.”(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crisco

Why do I prefer Crisco oil.

I prefer Crisco oil because it has a light taste.

Roasted almonds

The fruit of the almond is not a true nut, but a drupe, consisting of an outer hull and a hard shell with the seed (“nut”) inside. Shelling almonds refers to removing the shell to reveal the seed. Almonds are commonly sold shelled (i.e., after the shells are removed), or unshelled (i.e., with the shells still attached). Blanched almonds are shelled almonds that have been treated with hot water to soften the seedcoat, which is then removed to reveal the white embryo. (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almond

Flour
“Flour is a powder which is made from grinding up cereal grains, other seeds, or roots. It is the main ingredient of bread, which is a staple food for many cultures, making the availability of adequate supplies of flour a major economic and political issue at various times throughout history. Wheat flour is one of the most important foods in European, North American, Middle Eastern and North African cultures, and is the defining ingredient in most of their styles of breads and pastries. Maize flour has been important in Mesoamerican cuisine since ancient times, and remains a staple in much of Latin American cuisine.” (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flour
Why I prefer Robin Hood Five Roses brand flour
It is a good brand. I have been buying it forever. It is consistently good at a fair price.

Whiskey

Simply, it tastes great!

HANDY APPLIANCES, UTENSILS, GADGETS, ETC.*

Hole-in-the-middle Bundt pan

This is a cake pan with a hole in the middle, producing a ring-shaped cake, called a “bundt”. In 1950, H. David Dalquist invented this pan.

Why I prefer hole-in-the-middle Bundt pan This is the right pan to produce this type of baked treat.

Antonietta’s Recipe of the Month: “Famoso torta di liquore di Antonietta*” (“Antoinette’s Famous Liquor Cake*”)

Specifications – Ingredients

8 Eggs
2 tbsp. Sugar
Lemon Peel
2 Chocolate (semi-sweet) baking squares
2 oz. Roasted Almonds
24 oz. Flour
4 tsp. Baking powder
6 oz. Oil
2 oz. Whiskey
2+- oz. Vermout

Directions

1. Crack & mix 8 eggs in a bowl;

2. Add 2 tbsp. sugar;

3. Grate 1 lemon peel;

4. Grate 2 big pieces of chocolate (semi-sweet);

5. Chop 2 oz. roasted almonds;

6. Add 24 oz. flour;

7. Add 4 tsp. magic flour;

8. Add 6 oz. oil;

9. Add 2 oz. whiskey;

10. Add 2+-oz. vermouth;

11. Bake at 300 degrees for 1 hour;

12. Turn off oven, but do not open oven door;

13. Leave 5-10 minutes after turning off oven;

LAST BITE*
Liquor cake is great, since you must know … wine is great, but liquor is quicker!

Take this dish out for a spin – especially this Christmas, and tell me if you agree.
And that’s my food favorite for the week, what’s yours?*
ALP
P.S. Big News: There are big changes coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.
P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com – saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Irish whiskey (Irish: Fuisce or Uisce beatha) is a whiskey made in Ireland. There are several types of whiskey common to Ireland: Single Malt, Single Grain, Pure Pot Still and Blended Whiskey. The word whiskey is an Anglicisation of the ancient Gaelic term “uisce beatha” which translates as “water of life”. (The Craythur is a modern Irish term for whiskey.[1]Most Irish whiskey is distilled three times while Scotch, apart from Auchentoshan, is distilled twice. Peat is rarely used in the malting process, so that Irish Whiskey has a smoother finish as opposed to the smokey, earthy overtones common to some Scotches. There are notable exceptions to these “rules” in both countries; an example is Connemara Peated Irish Malt (double distilled) whiskey from the independent Cooley Distillery in Co. Louth.”(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_whiskey

Why I prefer Jameson brand

“Jameson is a Single distillery Irish whiskey produced by a division of the French distiller Pernod Ricard. Jameson is similar in its adherence to the single distillery principle to the single malt tradition, but Jameson combines malted barley with unmalted or “green” barley. The most famous component within Jameson is the “Pure Pot Still” distilling tradition.”(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jameson_Irish_Whiskey It is a leading brand, long known for high quality spirits, especially Irish Whiskey. It is excellent.

Vermouth

Vermouth is made from wine with added sugar, alcohol and botanicals (herbs and spices).

Why I prefer Martini & Rossi brand

Posted by alaposta on February 11th, 2012 Read More 58 Comments

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*

Vol. 2, No. 37, February 5th 2012

TITLE: “BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.*”

INTRODUCTION

SPECIAL ALERT…. Attention all wannabe seductresses and pickup artists! With the coming of Valentine’s Day, romance and dating is on the minds of many people. I am again thinking about flirting – it is the first step in the mating dance. My starting point is my first blog post titled, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*”(Vol. 2, No. 22, October 23, 2011) But now I will go deeper. Yes, I am speaking about body language – I say that it could be a useful tool. The dating circus is daunting. Hence, my topic is body language – how to read it and how to express yourself. My book of the week is .”The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy” [Hardcover] by Tonya Reiman… (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

PREVIEW (Sunday, Feb. 12th 2012): Valentine’s Day is around the corner, The mating dance is complex and difficult to perform successfully. One of the needed skill sets is the fine art of flirting. I wrote the post, “FLIRTING TIPS 101 FOR GIRLS & BOYS, WOMEN & MEN: I say have fun, but be careful!*” (Sunday, Oct.23, 2011) and last week, I did an update, by adding pointers about reading body language. Reading the signs incorrectly leads to missteps. Understanding the non-verbal communications spells greater success at love. I had a lot of material…I will continue the subject into next week’s blog. Why don’t you come by and check it out? It might give you one or more ’Aha’ moments. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

BONUS PREVIEW (New date – Sunday, Feb. 19th 2012): If looking for Mr./Ms. Right, I have an opinion. Let’s dialogue. If you want straight talk, come on over. Let’s talk. I’ll start the conversation with my blog post. Then, you can have your say…you can have the floor… Why don’t you leave me a comment. I’ll try not to interrupt. (Editor’s Note: This is part of a continuing series on dating and relationships.)

MY LIFE & TIMES*

During the time that I was attending my single events, I would observe, from a distance, a man putting the moves on a woman. It was interesting to watch. But when I was the object of a man’s attention, it was personal …and I fretted a little. I knew that if a man was interested in me – I needed to look for hints at what he was looking for. That was my focus and the number one piece of information that I wanted. I tried to pay attention to his signals, if any. I asked myself, “Was he presenting himself as somebody respectable?”

When all else failed, I went with my intuition.

During my single days, I was told many times by my male friends that I was sending out the wrong signals. Apparently, my body language was saying, “I’m not open to meeting a man. Don’t come near me, I do not want to be approached.”. I realized that I had to change. I needed to transmit a ‘come-on-over’ message. Soon, I was meeting men. Alas, my body language was now giving out the right signals.
Body language is a form of communication. Although I don’t speak it well and I don’t understand it well, I recognize that I do it …we all do. But some of us do it better than others. While I’m not an expert – I wanted to learn more about reading and sending body language. Now I want to share with you all what I have learnt.

THE AUTHOR: Tonya Reiman
Tonya Reiman experienced life as a child born in the sixties. She attended Pace University and graduated with a General Studies degree. A life changing experience was an incident when a psychology professor came nose to nose with her in order to demonstrate the significance of “personal space”. She is a Certified Hypnotist, holding a NGH certification; she had a private practice, No Boundaries Hypnosis, in Smithtown, Long Island. She is an author and motivational speaker. She is a political commentator, featured as a contributor on The O’Reilly Factor, on the Fox News Channel. She penned many articles on body language published in Cosmopolitan, Life & Style, Time, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Woman’s World and Positive Thinking.
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonya_Reiman)

SERIES/COLLECTION
Books/Articles:
Several of her books are:
•”The Yes Factor: Get What You Want, Say What You Mean, the Power of Persuasive Communication”.
•”The Power of Body Language: How to Succeed in Every Business and Social Encounter”

THE BOOK: “The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy” [Hardcover] by Tonya Reiman
I started with the question: “What attracts the opposite sexes to one another?” I also wondered what makes us attractive. In this book, Reiman, a history lover, considered the topic of human attraction and seduction and asks how it’s changed through the years. She looks at body parts both male and female. She wants to know, if and why, each is attractive or unattractive. She recognizes dating success or failure. She explains that attraction is: a) Biological; b) Physical; c) Chemical; d) Mental. Her message is also that attraction: is: e) Detectable; f) Manageable and g) Maneuverable. Reiman has made a contibution to the knowedge on seduction, conversation, connection, and enduring romance. It’s a HOW-TO guide. If ovcr 18, you have a learners’ permit. Read it and meet Cupid sooner than later.

Personal Comments

Winning at love starts at the preliminary round. This is the warm up and flirting is on the menu. If interested, this is where the signal is to be sent. In the dating game, suceess or failure depends upon correctly reading body language and giving off the right non -verbal signals.
Flirting is not necessarily an invitation for or offer of sex.
Be conscious that your body language reveals how you feel about others.
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects when you meet someone. Maintaining the right level comes across as showing courtesy plus the interest in what the person has to say. Holding someone in a long gaze is a sure sign of interest. Other signals may be more subtle.
Once you send an inviting signal to the opposite sex, it’s harder to shut down the opening. It could then get uncomfortable or even dangerous.
Learn to read body language correctly. Observe people. Try to guess what’s on their mind.
Look for eye contact, strong hand shake – ask youself, “What is revealed by his or her body language?” He or she is responding to stimuli, consciously or unconsciously.
Reading someone clearly is job #1 – doing this better can save you a lot of headaches.
Be careful to send out the right message. Subconsciously, at times, we may be sending the wrong message.

The Point

The skill is knowing what to look for and being observant. Learning to read body language is a very useful social skill. The knack is also to make your signals fit your wishes.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*
Everyone in the dating scene should note:
1. How we communicate – the answer is: a) 7% in words; b) 35%, the way we speak; c) 35% through body language;
2. First impression (visual clues)- several are: a) Gender (male/female); b)Face (e.g., (i). ethnic/national group; (ii). Facial hair for a man – for me, it signifies someone cautious; c) Age (younger/older); d) Prosperity & status; e) Education; f) Style sense; etc. (N.B. It’s important to receive unfavorable information ASAP – don’t disregard visual clues – there is a lot more under the surface.)
3. Visual communicators: a) Appearance – NOTICE TO MEN EVERYWHERE: Your shoes are a huge telltale sign for women. First, the choice of shoe tells something about your character…conservative or flamboyant? Also, their condition tells others something about your values and discipline level. Worn and dirty yells pass. Leather not vinyl says that you are the real deal. Proper and conservative brogue type says that you are well-screwed on, not screwed up. Indeed, shoes indicate what type of person a woman is dealing with – his status, his character, importance on grooming, etc.; b) Clothes;

4. Auditory communicators -they: a) Confirm: (i). Gender; and (ii). Age; b) Could suggest confidence or lack of it; c) Could give off clues to personality, intelligence, social economic background, etc.;
5. Speaking style communicators – look at: a) Type: (i). Variety of volume – both high and low volume would make people uncomfortable – it might signify a need to dominate and feelings of inadequacy; (ii). Speed – it might mean that he or she wants to conclude the conversation – it might show nervousness; (iii). Pitch; b) Use of jargon & slang – it could give a hint of geographical origin; c) Good conversational topics and their propriety for business or social environments – they could show experience and ease in social situations;  d) Suitable questions could further show good social sense; e) Good telephone etiquette – it would show me he has a little class;
6. Analyzing visual auditory clues – they could suggest: a) If someone is a positive or negative person; c) If he or she is receptive or contrary to what is being said to him or her;   d) If he or she seems truthful and sincere;
7. Learning non verbal body language: a) Learn to spot: (i).  If someone is seemingly functional or not; (ii). Quality of behavior learned, not instinctive; (iii). If he or she is open to learn or already knows it all – if so, don’t stop! (iii). If he or she is willing to improve and change – if not, he or she is in the “No” trap, keep walking if you please.
8. Language choices -it touches upon credibility: a) Words being used – Be conscious that words have different connotations and meaning – examples : (i). I’m sorry; (ii). You’re fired;
9. Facial expressions are indicative of emotions, which a person is feeling: a) Smile signifies receptiveness: (i). Smile up to eyes signifies happiness; (ii). Smile moderate and contrived signifies insincerity; c) Micro- expressions – these are expressions that flash for a second providing key insights in the person – Pay attention!
9.1 Eyes & Pupil dilation: a) Whether dilated or not, there is something, provoking emotional response in him or her; b) Interrelated topics: (i). Biofeedback; (ii). Meditation; (iii). Yes you can feelings;  c) Face –saving quality; d) Performance appraisal – remember there are no stupid questions … only stupid answers!
10. Five main non verbal communicators: a) Eye contact: (i) Staring is aggressive; b) Facial expression: (i). Furling one’s brow could show concentration or intense need to know; (ii). Frown signifies indifference; c) Body position: (i). Straight up indicates strength; (ii). Leaning in shows interest; d) Body proximity: (i). Being at arm’s length is minimum and respectful of others; (ii) Staying further away suggests attitude of stand-offishness; (iii). Coming much closer is invasion of personal space – this is threatening behavior ; (iv). Grabbing can be near assault – this is never good; e) Linguistic behavior: (i) articulate or not – how you say what you say; (ii). Use of pause and silence: It strikes a contrast with volume. Going silent does not show stupidity – it shows that one is thinking and able to stop talking -indeed ready to listen. It also shows confidence as there is not always the need to say something.

SURPRISE…SURPRISE…More to come…to be continued next week!

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
P.S. Big News: There are big changes coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.
P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com –   saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
===============================================================
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Julia Sweeney: Pat
“Julia Sweeney once revealed the inspiration behind her classic character – the androgynous “Pat” – on “Saturday Night Live”: “I’d been an accountant for like five years, and there was one person I worked with in particular who had a lot of mannerisms like Pat. This person sort of drooled and had the kind of body language of Pat. I started trying to do him. I was testing it out on my friends and they were just like, ‘Yeah, it’s good, but it doesn’t seem like a guy that much.’ Like I couldn’t quite pull off being in drag convincingly enough. So then I thought, maybe that’s the joke. I’ll just have one joke in here about we don’t know if that’s a man or a woman just to sort of cover up for my lack of ability to really play a guy convincingly!”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=21285)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Muammar Qaddafi: Body Language
“In March 2004, Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi met with British Prime Minister Tony Blair for a widely-televised interview in a tent in the desert. Only later did Blair learn that showing another man the soles of one’s feet, as Qaddafi did (to Blair) throughout the interview, was understood by Arabs as a major sign of disrespect.”
(Source: Anecdotage) –  http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=19368)
S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3:Nixon Down Under
“One day during his presidency, Richard Nixon landed in Australia for a state visit. As he stepped from the plane, Nixon made a peace sign (as was his custom) to signify solidarity with his Aussie hosts. Some time later he was delicately informed that, in Australia, the so-called ‘peace sign’ (unless the palm is facing out) is the equivalent of an American display of the middle finger.”
(Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=2263)
S & R* QUOTE #1: Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday.”
(Source: Wisom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index14.html)
S & R* QUOTE #2: Benjamin Franklin
“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that the stuff life is made of.”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) –   http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
S & R* QUOTE #3: Captain Jean-Luc Picard
“Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. played by Patrick Stewart, from the film “Star Trek: Generations”
(Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html)
ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
“For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “body language”;
Body Language
“Body language is a form of mental and physical ability of human non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously.”
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:
“It is important to note that some indicators of emotion (e.g. smiling/laughing when happy, frowning/crying when sad) are largely universal;[citation needed],[4] however in the 1990s Paul Ekman expanded his list of basic emotions, including a range of positive and negative emotions, not all of which are encoded in facial muscles.[13] The newly included emotions are:
A study in body language.
1. Amusement
2. Contempt
3. Contentment
4. Embarrassment
5. Excitement
6. Guilt
7. Pride in achievement
8. Relief
9. Satisfaction
10. Sensory pleasure
11. Shame
Body language signals may have a goal other than communication. People would keep both these two in mind. Observers limit the weight they place on non-verbal cues. Signalers clarify their signals to indicate the biological origin of their actions. Examples would include yawning (sleepiness), showing lack of interest (sexual interest/survival interest), attempts to change the topic (fight or flight drivers).
Physical expression
“Physical expressions like waving, pointing, touching and slouching are all forms of nonverbal communication. One of the most basic and powerful body-language signals is when a person crosses his or her arms across the chest.[6] This can indicate that a person is putting up an unconscious barrier between themselves and others. Consistent eye contact can indicate that a person is thinking positively of what the speaker is saying. It can also mean that the other person doesn’t trust the speaker enough to “take their eyes off” the speaker. Lack of eye contact can indicate negativity Disbelief is often indicated by averted gaze, or by touching the ear or scratching the chin.Boredom is indicated by the head tilting to one side, or by the eyes looking straight at the speaker but becoming slightly unfocused.Interest can be indicated through posture or extended eye contact, such as standing and listening properly.[citation needed] Deceit or the act of withholding information can sometimes be indicated by touching the face during conversation. Excessive blinking is a well-known indicator of someone who is lying. Recently[when?], evidence has surfaced that the absence of blinking can also represent lying as a more reliable factor than excessive blinking. [7″
(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)
SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: WOZA
WOZA gives roses as a symbol of love and peace on Valentine’s Day This Valentine’s Day, courageous women in Zimbabwe will be handing out paper roses in the streets. Jenni Williams, the leader of Women of Zimbabwe Arise (WOZA), has lost count of how many times she has been arrested maybe 37 or 38, she says. Jenni and her colleague, Magodonga Mahlangu, are only two of the many women who have been arrested, ill-treated, intimidated and harassed for their peaceful human rights work in this southern African country. Members often give out paper roses during their peaceful marches to symbolize their slogan of love and peace. At a Valentine’s Day event in Bulawayo last year, WOZA marched with banners proclaiming The Power of Love can conquer the Love of Power and handed out roses to the public. Three of the 53 women arrested had simply been watching. At trial, the prosecutor decided against legal action, and the activists walked free after paying fines.WOZA was formed in 2003 to defend human rights amidst the political violence in Zimbabwe, and continues their work today by mobilizing to improve living conditions for all Zimbabweans. WOZA members organize vocal and colourful peaceful demonstrations to protest
government policies that lead to a worsening social, economic and human rights situation in the country. Police arrest even children, women carrying babies and pregnant women. Officers release many without charge, but take advantage of repressive legislation such as the Public Order and Security Act and the Miscellaneous Offences Act to charge some of them.The government, in an effort to prevent public protest and criticism of its policies, has become increasingly intolerant of the work of human rights defenders and is actively seeking to silence them. WOZA members will continue by peaceful means to use their freedom to meet together and criticize government policy. Members of Amnesty International around the world are calling for the protection of WOZA members and all human rights defenders in Zimbabwe. A free information kit about how to help protect the rights of people in Zimbabwe and other countries around the world is available from Amnesty International, 1992 Yonge Street, Suite #315, Toronto, Ontario, M4S 1Z7, or
at www.amnesty.ca/zimbabwe.
www.newscanada.com

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Tips for singles on Valentine’s Day By Maja Begovic
Valentine’s Day can conjure up feelings of loneliness for those without a mate. But being alone is cheaper, easier, and it’s probably better than going out on some random date, or being with a person you’ve been meaning to break up with for months. If you don’t have a date, don’t stay at home and pout. Here are some ideas to help you celebrate the day of love:
1. Realize that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.
2. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine’s Day.
3. Resist the temptation to turn off your phone and crawl into bed early. Book a deep tissue massage at a fantastic spa, followed by a manicure and pedicure. Host a fondue party or a potluck at your house, or grab a few single friends and book a sightseeing flight over your city.
4. Do you know a couple with children who never go out because they just don’t feel they can afford a babysitter? Offer them a free night of babysitting and let them enjoy a romantic night out.
5. Nothing spreads the love faster than doing a little volunteer work. Take time to remember your good fortune and learn about how you can help improve the lives of children living in poverty through a non-profit organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada (www.ccfcanada.ca).
6. If you are single, but would rather not be, think about what is standing in the way of you and a new relationship. Find ways to work on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with. Start therapy. Take up yoga. Take action to change the world. It is into the fullest lives that love is most likely to fall.
www.newscanada.com
TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved

Posted by alaposta on February 5th, 2012 Read More 52 Comments

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DISCIPLINE CHILDREN: I have articles, books, facts, How – to and an opinion on spanking!*

FIND MR. / MS RIGHT: I have the secret, tips..HOW -TO!*

BODY LANGUAGE: Flirt / men or women flirting- interpret / read meaning, signs, tips, etc.* Volume #2

Antoinette’s Famous Liquor Cake*(Famoso torta di liquore di Antonietta*)

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