Archive for September, 2012

FLIRT: flirty quotes, flirting tips, pick-up lines, etc. – I have an opinion or two!*

Vol. 3, No.24, Monday, September 24, 2012

TITLE: “FLIRT: flirty quotes, flirting tips, pick-up lines, etc. – I have an opinion or two!*”

INTRODUCTION

Calling all flirts. We’ve got to talk! I’ll start first. As you know, flirting can be by body language (non- verbal) or with words (verbal). Non-verbal flirting is critical to catch his eye.  But if you want to reel him in, verbal flirting is crucial (I think that you will agree with me that most men need a push). Seeing that you’re here, I take it that you’re interested in finding Mr. Right; maybe he’s here. But if not, I am!

On the dating scene, forget walking the walk – you need to talk the good flirt. It is definitely a skill. Therefore, my topic this week is flirting of the oral kind. My book of the week is “Flirting For Dummies” by Elizabeth Clark. (Editor’s Note: This is a continuation of a series on dating, relationships and marriage.) 

ANTOINETTE’S LIFE & TIMES*

Flirting is the signal you are giving to connect with someone who you find attractive.

Youthful dating: When I was young, I did not know much about flirting. And I did not consciously flirt.

Post-divorce period: At this time, although I did not consciously flirt, I knew that I was doing it. I recognized that body language speaks volumes. I do admit that I’m very transparent and sometimes I would prefer not to be so easily read. I needed a sign from a man before I responded to his flirtatious advances. Want some of my real-life stories, here are a few: 

Anecdote #1: One day, while at a single’s dance, a gentleman approached me.  During the conversation he said he felt intimidated to speak to me, but finally took the chance.  He told me that what I was projecting was: “I do not want to be approached … I’m not interested”.  I soon realized that if I wanted to meet someone, I needed to have a positive attitude. 

Anecdote #2: I remember, watching at a distance, how a man approached a woman and sat down beside her.  He kept chatting her up, but she didn’t appear to be interested.  He didn’t get the message.  At one point, she got up and walked towards the bar and bought a drink.  She then wandered off to speak to other people and didn’t return to her seat.  But he just waited for her to return. When she didn’t, he retreated very dejected.

When it comes to flirting with words, it’s very subtle what I do. It’s not my cup of tea to go over the top. Want some examples of my experiences, here are a few:

Pick-up lines used on me (We call it: “He said – She said”.):

1.      He said: “Can I buy you a drink?” She said: “I have one thank you.” (I was very careful not to accept an offer of drink. I believe that if I took even one … then I would owe him something.)

2.      He said: “You’re gorgeous.” She said: “Thank you.” (I did not dwell on this subject as I might appear full of myself.)  

3.      He said: “Are you a natural redhead?” She said: “Only my hairdresser knows for sure.” He said: “I know why you do your hair red …. it’s to be noticed and it works.” (I liked this.)

4.      He said: “Where have you been all of my life?” She said: nothing … I just laughed.

5.      He said: “Are you Italian?” She said: “Yes.” He said: “My ex-wife was Italian. While the marriage ended, it wasn’t her fault.” (I found that so refreshing.) 

6.      He said: “We’re having great weather, don’t you agree?” She said: “Yes. We’re lucky to have had a nice summer.”

 “Things I would say (We call it: “She said – He said”.):

1.      She said: “The DJ is great, don’t you think?” He said: “They play too much line dancing … how long will it go on?” She said: “about an hour.” He said: “Uggh.”

2.      She said: “I’ve never seen you here before, is this your first time? Where did you find out about our dance?” He said: “Yes, I saw it advertized in the newspaper and on the Internet ….”

Extra

A friend told me when he was 18, seeing his date’s mother for the first time, he said: “Seeing you, I now know where your daughter got her beautiful looks.”  He told me that from the look on her face, he knew that this line sunk like a lead balloon. 

 THE AUTHOR:  Elizabeth Clark

Elizabeth Clark is an author on a variety of subjects. In 2009, she wrote Flirting for Dummies. She is recognized as a flirting and charisma expert. She has appeared on ITV’s Des & Mel, BBC Breakfast, etc., written up in the press and also featured in a host of radio shows.    

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles:

Several are:

THE BOOK: “Flirting For Dummies” by Elizabeth Clark

When flirting is being done well, it looks so easy. But it is not. Knowing how is a boost for singles. Admitting that you really don’t know how is smart.  Saying that you could do it better is smarter. Finding where to look is the smartest.

Elizabeth Clark, wrote the book on flirting, (a) Demonstrating examples of flirting with black and white photographs; (b) Informing of flirting basics and how to get noticed; (c) Explaining how to develop body language; (d) Giving advice on what comes next; (e) Counting down her TOP 10 TIPS on pick-up/opening lines and flirting no-nos

Clark makes it work as she comes across as somebody who knows all about it. She speaks of it as an art. I think she is right. We understand from Clark that if just arrived in town or new to the scene or ready to make a fresh start, flirting is good to go. She speaks about self-image and how to boost self-confidence.

The book covers body language. It has been said that non-verbal flirting can speak louder than words, The book also teaches you to be a good listener and communicator. The goal is to be able to engage people in a natural and charming way. This book can help!

CONCLUSION

On the dating scene, if flirting is a dirty word, many like to talk dirty!

Personal Comments

I say:

  • That feeling attractive gives one the confidence to flirt. Feeling good about the way you look projects to others.  When you walk into a room, be noticed … walk in with confidence.  This spells success!
  • That flirting tells someone you’re interested. 
  • That flirting is appropriate for single people.  The person who is flirting is saying: “I’m interested in someone new”. 
  • That if you are in a relationship, flirting with others is NEVER proper. 
  • That making a general, impersonal comment is the best way to go.  His response will tell you if he is interested or not.
  • Then just be yourself; the rest will come naturally.   
  • That when flirting, the tone of your voice should be low pitch – and the volume should also be low. Of course, whispering (sweet nothings) can be very seductive.
  • That a woman could also turn down a man’s advances. 

The Point

To succeed in today’s single world, you probably need to do some flirting. While you may start with some positive body language, you need to say the right thing to really connect.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

A flirt wannabe should:

Flirting (non- verbal)

1.      Overcome the fear of rejection. It also has been said that flirting is leaving your comfort zone-it can be a bit scary.

2.      Learn the signs- flirting is a skill.

3.      Put on a happy face – this is much more inviting.

4.      Smile – make eye contact … if a man is looking at you, don’t look away. 

5.      If you’re with a group of women, isolate yourself so that he may approach you.

6.      Focus on talking to him especially if there are others around.

7.      Try one of these moves if really interested:  (a) Touching his arm or hair; (b) Whispering in his ear; (c) Complimenting him; (d) Hugging him; (e) Standing close to him when talking. However, just so you know, I didn’t sit on a man’s lap.

Flirting (verbal)

8.      Ask him questions about himself. If in a conversation with a gentleman who shows some promise); I would (a) Ask about work. Men like to talk about their job. (b)  Raise the topic of sports – most men are into sports. (c) Ask about children. If he speaks about divorce, I would ask how it happened. If he said that  his ex wife was a bitch, I would pass, (I found this a big turn off.)

9.      Listen intently to what he has to say. 

10.  Don’t talk about yourself too much.

11.  Speak mainly on what you have in common.

12.  Stay away from clichés don`t say something as a figure of speech.

13.  Remember, always be a lady.

14.  Do it with class and with style – you will shine!

In my opinion, to sum up, flirting is about doing two things at the same time: having some fun with a member of the opposite sex and also trying not to put your foot in your mouth.  

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”

PREVIEW:  THANKSGIVING (Canadian) – 2012 UPDATE (tentatively scheduled for Monday, Oct 1st 2012 Let’s all give thanks at this annual event.  

 P.S. Big News: Did you see my new Home Page … check it out! Please tell me what you think. There are more big changes coming to my blog – please stay tuned. 

P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com –   saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit  www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta 

CREDITS

-Web Tech:  richmediasound.com

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
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NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY SAVE AND READ* (S&R*) BACKGROUNDER: ANTOINETTE’S 1, 2, 3, & 4

ONE – “I SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT!*” – QUOTES
 
 
 

 

S & R* QUOTE #1: Eleanor Roosevelt

“The giving of love is an education in itself.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index2.html)

S & R* QUOTE #2: Martin Luther King, Jr.

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”

 (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index6.html)

S & R* QUOTE #3: Ann Landers

“If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don’t have it, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.”

http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index12.html -#http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index12.html – # (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/love/index12.html)

TWO – “IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “flirting”; “body language”;

Flirting

?Flirting or coquetry is a sexual activity involving verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, suggesting an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person. (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –

Body Language

Body language is a form of mental and physical ability of human non-verbal communication, which consists of body posture, gestures, facial expressions, and eye movements. Humans send and interpret such signals almost entirely subconsciously.” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_language)

THREE – STUDY/STATISTICS:

“The origin of the word flirt is obscure. The Oxford English Dictionary (first edition) associates it with such onomatopoeic words as flit and flick, emphasizing a lack of seriousness; on the other hand, it has been attributed to the old French conter fleurette, which means “to (try to) seduce” by the dropping of flower petals, that is, “to speak sweet nothings”. While old-fashioned, this expression is still used in French, often mockingly, but the English gallicism to flirt has made its way and has now become an anglicism.

Flirting varies a great deal from culture to culture. For example, for many western cultures one very common flirting strategy includes eye contact. In these cultures, it is said that a look can say a million words.[3] However, eye contact can have a very different meaning in some Asian countries. Men, however, may stare at Western women in such countries who might get in trouble if returning the glance. This act may mean that she is sexually interested instead of just flirting. Furthermore, Chinese and Japanese women are not expected to initiate eye contact which would be considered rude and disrespectful.[4][unreliable source?]

The distance between two people is also important when flirting. People from the “contact cultures”, such as the Mediterranean or Latin America, may feel comfortable with closer distances whereas a British or Northern European person will need more space. Touching, especially of the hand or arm, is also part of flirting.[5

Flirting may consist of stylized gestures, language, body language, postures, and physiologic signs which act as cues to another person. Among these, at least in Western society, are:

  • Eye contact, batting eyelashes, staring, winking, etc.
  • “Protean” signals, such as touching one’s hair
  • Giggling, or laughing encouragingly at any slight hint of intimacy in the other’s behavior
  • Casual touches; such as a woman gently touching a man’s arm during conversation
  • Smiling suggestively
  • Sending notes, poems, or small gifts
  • Flattery (regarding beauty, sexual attractiveness)
  • Online chat, texting and other one-on-one and direct messaging services while hinting affection
  • Footsie, a form of flirtation in which people use their feet to play with each others’ feet. This generally takes place under a table or in bed while rubbing feet. Participants often remove their shoes and play barefoot; however, it can also be played in socks, or wearing shoes. Though this method can backfire, as the general opinion of feet can depend on the culture and society of the area.
  • Teasing
  • Tickling
  • Banter
  • Staging of “chance” encounters
  • Imitating of behaviors (e.g. taking a drink when the other person takes a drink, changing posture as the other does, etc.)
  • Coyness, affectedly shy or modest, marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness (e.g. pickup lines).
  • Blowing a kiss
  • Singing love songs in presence of the girl/boy.
  • Maintaining very short distance during casual talking.

The effectiveness of these several interactions has been subjected to detailed analysis by behavioral psychologists, and advice on their use is available from dating coaches” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirting)

FOUR – BONUS ARTICLES

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#1: Keep your face fresh-looking in fall

“The fresh-faced look doesn’t just have to be for the summer. These four tips will help ensure that your face maintains its natural glow as we transition into the harsher, colder months.

Add moisture to your routine: The fall months are less humid than their summer counterparts, so adding more moisture to your skin care regime is important. As the air gets dryer use a richer, thicker moisturizer such as Simple Replenishing Rich Moisturizer to give back to your skin.

Use sensitive skin care products: Even if you don’t have sensitive skin, when the weather changes from warm to cold everyone’s skin could use a gentler skin care approach. You might notice that your face is more prone to redness and flushing as the wind picks up and the temperature drops. Environmental changes can often bring on skin sensitivities, so be kind to your skin and use products that are designed with this in mind.

Maintain the SPF: Don’t be fooled – the sun is still shining even though summer has come to a close. Make sure you keep SPF in your skin care regime as it will continue to help protect your skin and help fight the signs of aging, such as wrinkles look for a moisturizer with a broad-spectrum SPF.

Face, Neck and Hands: Your face isn’t the only part of your body that can benefit from your skincare regime – your neck and hands can too. This is particularly true in the fall as these delicate parts of your body are the most exposed to the cooler, crisper air.

More information on how to keep your skin feeling fresh this fall can be found at Facebook.com/simpleskincare.” www.newscanada.com

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#2: Online shopping safety tips: Don’t get more than you bargain for when shopping online

“With online shopping, it’s never been easier to buy what you want, when you want it.

Before you click confirm on a purchase or bid, do everything you can to protect yourself online. The federal government has created an online resource, GetCyberSafe.ca, to help you do just that.

Here are some tips for safe online shopping from GetCyberSafe.ca:

Look for the lock symbol on the website or https:// at the beginning of the website address (the means secure, an indication that the site is encrypted.

Don’t use public Wi-Fi to shop online.

Make sure your firewall is on.

Read the privacy policy and find out how your information will be used.

Be on the lookout for prices that are too good to be true. The items could be counterfeit.

Pay by credit card if you can. Do not send cash.

Check your credit card statements for unauthorized charges.

Don’t respond to emails or pop-up messages that ask for financial information. Legitimate companies don’t ask for this information this way.

Don’t allow auto fill for your passwords or personal information, like your address, and never allow a site to store your credit card information.”www.newscanada.com

*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved

Posted by on September 24th, 2012 3 Comments

EROTIC ROMANTIC NOVELS – Fifty Shades of Grey: bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, Sadomasochism; I say WOWEE!*”

Vol. 3, No.23, Monday, September 17, 2012

TITLE: “EROTIC ROMANTIC NOVELS – Fifty Shades of Grey:  bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadomasochism; I say WOWEE!*”

INTRODUCTION

I ask: “Do erotic, romantic, sex books turn women on?”  I say: “There are millions spent buying these novels … there definitely is a market for them.”  The controversial question is – do women prefer reading erotic books rather than romantic books?  This week, I will continue on with the romance theme, exploring the difference between romantic novels and erotic novels.  My book of the week is “Fifty Shades of Grey” by E.L. James.  (Editor’s Note: This is another in a continuing series on dating, relationships and marriage.)

ANTOINETTE’S LIFE & TIMES*

I like to read books. I prefer mystery suspense and also romance. When I put down my romance novel, I come back to reality. I know the difference between what’s normal and a fantasy.  By the way, when it came to the man in my life, I admit that it was important for me that he had a good job and earned a living.  My concern was that he treated me right and with respect.

Romance novels of yesteryear

Romantic novels with a happily ever after ending are the preference. They focus on romance and emotions, centering on a relationship. There is a heroine and one day, a knight in shining armor appears from nowhere. Of course, women like to be the most important person in a man’s life and that’s the focus in these books.  Beyond character and personality, good looks and wealth is important. Those qualities may reel you in, but they won’t keep you there.  There is lovemaking, but the author leaves it to your imagination. I’ve read many romantic books and I’ve always enjoyed them. But, the women I know prefer erotic romantic books.

Romance novels of today

Erotic romantic: There is now erotic romance. These nooks have become more erotic and less romantic. At the core, there is a young, beautiful, naive woman and a rich, handsome, dynamic and powerful man. Erotic romantic books center on a relationship, but the author describes the lovemaking. It is definitely not subtle. Knowing how to please a woman, he is portrayed as the lover of your dreams. It’s a fantasy for many women to be swept away.  Is it realistic … ?  Every woman’s dream … right?  There’s a very big market on erotic romantic novels. 

Erotic: Erotic books center on a sexual experience with a powerful person. It describes everything in graphic detail. I guess society thirsts more for raw sexual books than romance.  Some say reading erotic books could spice up your sex life.

THE AUTHOR: E.L. James

E.L. James is a wife and mother of two children living in West London – she was a TV executive. Her priority was her family and her career. Dreaming of writing popular stories, she finally had enough courage to write her first novel: Fifty Shades of Grey. Readers found it and loved it.

Antoinette: I have a question – why do many women authors  use their initials instead of their first/middle (given) names? Do you have any thoughts? 

SERIES/COLLECTION

Books/Articles:

Several are:

  • Fifty Shades of Grey
  • Fifty Shades Darker
  • Fifty Shades Freed

THE BOOK: Fifty Shades of Grey: #1 of the Fifty Shades Trilogy by E L James  

Book Profile: “Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic novel by British author E. L. James. Set largely in Seattle, it is the first instalment in a trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism (BDSM).” (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifty_Shades_of_Grey) 

Comments: I understand that many women could not put down the book – it even interfered with what they had to do. James used the phrase “holy crap” too much for my liking.

P.S. I recognize that many female readers will be excited by material on bondage/ discipline, dominance/submission, sadomasochism, I ask then, “Are we there yet?” Since they’re always pushing the envelope, I wonder what’s coming next?  

CONCLUSION

Books have become more erotic than they once were. There is a booming market for erotic literature and these books are flooding the market.  

Personal Comments

I say:

  • That women are bigger book buyers than men; and erotic literature is one of their favorites. Sales have soared because you can acquire them in privacy if you’re too shy to buy erotic books in a bookstore.
  • That most women want a satisfying sex life.  
  • That women like to read erotic novels that are smoking hot.
  • That reading erotic books can help enhance a couple’s sex lives.

The Point

Regardless of your marital status, reading a good romantic novel brings you to another world … on cloud nine. It’s entertainment. A good romantic erotic novel tickles your fancy if you know what I mean. It’s pure fantasy. A good erotic novel, especially with sadomasochism drives you to a very special place. It gets your imagination to run wild – it’s quite over the top.

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*

Every reader (of romantic erotic novels) should:

  1. Keep in mind that these books create a fantasy world.
  2. Come back to earth after reading these novels.
  3. Download these books on eReader if you’re too shy to go to a bookstore. 

I say: “This book is for everyone.I guess girls just like to have fun; and they like the sexier shade of grey!” 

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”

PREVIEW (now, tentatively Monday, September 24th 2012):   Calling all flirts. We’ve got to talk! I’ll start first. As you know, flirting can be by body language (non- verbal) or with words (verbal). Non-verbal flirting is critical to catch his eye.  But if you want to reel him in, verbal flirting is crucial (I think that you will agree with me that most men need a push). If you’re interested in finding Mr. Right, why not come by? I’ill be here. Maybe he will also.

P.S. Big News: Did you see my new Home Page … check it out! Please tell me what you think. There are more big changes coming to my blog – please stay tuned. 

P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com –   saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit  www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta 

*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

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NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY SAVE AND READ* (S&R*) BACKGROUNDER: ANTOINETTE’S 1, 2, 3. & 4 

ONE – “I SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT!*” – QUOTES

 S & R* QUOTE #1: Rebecca West

 “Life ought to be a struggle of desire toward adventures whose nobility will fertilize the soul.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/) 

S & R* QUOTE #2:

Albert Einstein: “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html) 

S & R* QUOTE #3:

Pearl S. Buck: “The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) –  http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/index13.html) 

TWO – “IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
For today, my word/phrase(s) are:  “Sadomasochism”; “erotic literature”; “romance novel”; etc.

Sadomasochism

Sadomasochism is the receiving of pleasure—often sexual—from acts involving the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation. A subset of BDSM, practitioners of sadomasochism usually seek out sexual gratification from these acts, but often seek out other forms of pleasure as well. While the terms sadist and masochist specifically refer to one who either enjoys giving pain (sadist), or one who enjoys receiving pain (masochist), many practitioners of sadomasochism describe themselves as at least somewhat of a switch, or someone who can receive pleasure from either inflicting or receiving pain. (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadomasochism

Erotic Literature

Erotic literature comprises fictional and factual stories and accounts of human sexual relationships which have the power to or are intended to arouse the reader sexually.[1] (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) –http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_literature) 

Romance Novel

The romance novel is a literary genre developed in Western culture, mainly in English-speaking countries. Novels in this genre place their primary focus on the relationship and romantic love between two people, and must have an “emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending.”[1] 

THREE – STUDY/STATISTICS:

The development of modern psychiatric theories of sadomasochism, and the co-opting of theoretical scientific classification into common usage of the term “Sadomasochism”, are complicated by the diversity of intent in application. The two words incorporated into this compound, “Sadism” and “Masochism”, were first selected as professional scientific terminology, identifying human behavioral phenomena and intended for the classification of distinct psychological illnesses and/or malicious social and sexual orientations. The terms were originally derived from the names of two authors, Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch respectively, based on their popular writings.

In 1905, Sigmund Freud described “Sadism” and “Masochism” in his Drei Abhandlungen zur Sexualtheorie (“Three papers on Sexual Theory”) as stemming from aberrant psychological development from early childhood.

Both terms were introduced to the medical field by German psychiatrist Richard von Krafft-Ebing in his 1886 compilation of case studies Psychopathia Sexualis. Pain and physical violence are not essential in Krafft-Ebing’s conception, and he defined masochism (German “Masochismus”) entirely in terms of control.[5] Sigmund Freud, a psychoanalyst and a contemporary of Krafft-Ebing, noted that both were often found in the same individuals, and combined the two into a single dichotomous entity known as sadomasochism (German “Sadomasochismus”, often abbreviated as S&M or S/M).

There are a number of reasons commonly given for why a sadomasochist finds the practice of S&M enjoyable, and the answer is largely dependent on the individual. For some, taking on a role of compliance or helplessness offers a form of therapeutic escape; from the stresses of life, from responsibility, or from guilt. For others, being under the power of a strong, controlling presence may evoke the feelings of safety and protection associated with childhood. They likewise may derive satisfaction from earning the approval of that figure (see: Servitude (BDSM)). A sadist, on the other hand, may enjoy the feeling of power and authority that comes from playing the dominant role, or receive pleasure vicariously through the suffering of the masochist.

It is usually agreed on by psychologists that experiences during early sexual development can have a profound effect on the character of sexuality later in life. Sadomasochistic desires, however, seem to form at a variety of ages. Some individuals report having had them before puberty, while others do not discover them until well into adulthood. According to one study, the majority of male sadomasochists (53%) developed their interest before the age of 15, while the majority of females (78%) developed their interest afterwards (Breslow, Evans, and Langley 1985).

Masochists tend to be very specific about the types of pain they enjoy, preferring some and disliking others. Many behaviors such as spanking, tickling and love-bites contain elements of sado-masochism. Even if both parties legally consent to such acts this may not be accepted as a defense against criminal charges. Very few jurisdictions will permit consent as a legitimate defense if serious bodily injuries are caused.

“Sadism” and “masochism”, in the context of consensual sexual activities are not strictly accurate terms. Strictly speaking, a sadist is someone who enjoys causing pain regardless of whether the “victim” consents to it. Likewise, a masochist is someone who fantasizes about or enjoys being beaten, sexually humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer in all situations. Within BDSM, a sadist will not inflict pain on people who have not consented. Most masochists do not enjoy pain outside BDSM.[citation needed] (Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadomasochism)

FOUR – BONUS ARTICLES

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#1: Home ownership tips for single women

“As women have become financially independent, homeownership is a viable option. Statistics show that Canadian women now outnumber men in buying a house or condo, according to Brenda Bouw, author of Home Girl: The Single Woman’s Guide to Buying Real Estate In Canada.

In going it alone, however, a variety of factors should be considered.

As a single woman, there are many things to assess besides your financial capabilities, says Carla Bouchard, a broker with Royal LePage Metro in Moncton, New Brunswick. To make the best choice for you, Bouchard recommends asking yourself these three important questions:

How much space do I need? Detached housing can be quite spacious, but it will require regular maintenance to hold its value. Condominiums, on the other hand, may offer less living space, but maintenance is likely to be less of a burden. It is also prudent to imagine your space requirements several years down the road. Answering these questions can help you narrow your search.

Where will I feel safe? Single women can benefit from the security offered by condominiums, many of which offer 24-hour concierge services and building access cards. Location is also something to consider. Do you depend upon public transit? Will you have far to travel to and from a transit stop? Put your safety first.

Can I keep up with repairs and maintenance? It is important to look beyond the cosmetic appeal of a home. You may want to consult a professional to identify areas of repair and consider the extent of ongoing maintenance. Are you ready to make an investment in a home that requires regular upkeep?

Be sure you are prepared, financially, location-wise, and for the maintenance required to protect your investment. Consider the big picture and chances are you’ll be right at home with your new abode. More information on this topic is available online at www.royallepage.ca.” www.newscanada.com

S & R*NEWS ALERT*#2: Just a little time out will press the reset button

“Somewhere between mopping up an overturned cereal bowl, cramming for that mid-afternoon presentation, grabbing a few groceries, making sure that stain doesn’t set, then figuring out what can be made for dinner in 15 minutes there are still a few ultra-valuable, untapped moments in a mother’s life.

Peaceful, though temporary, these are retreats that will refresh, recharge, even energize.

Mothers tell us it’s what keeps them on top of their game ready to handle whatever life throws their way. These moments may seem fleeting, but experts say a few breaks in the day can make the biggest difference to our productiveness and overall well-being.

The better food and beverage companies are also rising to this occasion. For example, the ‘me-time’ specialists, Melitta Canada has been working with moms for years to promote the benefits of taking time out.

Mothers across the country shared with us that when they are unable to get their personal downtime, even if only for a few minutes, they lose focus and essentially get run down, says Bill Ivany, president of Melitta Canada. In contrast, when they are able to take even 10 minutes for a cup of coffee, mothers are feeling more energized, more positive, and better able to take on their days.

The job of a mother doesn’t always allow for free time, but it may be worth squeezing in those extra moments of me time to improve the rest of your day.” www.newscanada.com

*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on September 17th, 2012 1 Comment

9/11 COMMEMORATION 11TH ANNIVERSARY: “On 9/11, I remember, support, pay homage; I also believe and have faith!* UPDATE – Sept.11, 2012

Vol. 3, No.22, Monday, September 10, 2012 

TITLE:  “ 9/11  COMMEMORATION 11TH ANNIVERSARY: “On 9/11, I remember, support, pay homage; I also believe and have faith!*” UPDATE – Sept.11, 2012

INTRODUCTION

It will soon be Tuesday, September 11th, 2012.  I am again thinking about that fateful day in fall, 2001 when the world changed. I am also thinking about where we are now, on this, the 11th anniversary of 9/11. My book remains the same:  “Commission Report 911 by Commission National” (Hardcover – Aug 30 2004). This book contributes to our understanding of this horrific event. (Editor’s Note: This is the second update of the blog post, first published  Vol. 1,  No. 14, September 12th, 2010)

UPDATE – Sept.11, 2012

On September 4th,  in Quebec, Canada, we just had a general election – it was quite acrimonious. Once the polls closed, a man angry with the election results, showed up at the  victory party of the winning leader/party. He was armed, killing one innocent, wounding another, trying to get to the Premier – elect presumedly to carry out an assassination.  Those with a political agenda still live to die and do us harm. This was close to home. There is still work to do to stop terrorism, foreign and home-grown. We  owe it to the fallen on 9/11.  

P.S. On the news this morning, there was an announcment that a further benefits package for first responders and others at ground zero was to be put into place. While it’s late, I will still say that’s good! Recognition of those brave souls shall never cease. Love and gratitude for them is an ongoing work in progress.

ANTOINETTE’S LIFE & TIMES*

This week, it has been heartbreaking to again watch on television some of the footage on the events of the 911 attacks. Today, I watched some TV documentaries. I went numb in shock all over again. There were images of blown out windows, people running down the stairs trying to escape,  etc.

The thought of the jumpers was extremely tough. The falling man photo was difficult to look at. The stories of flight 93 and the others were so moving. The fact is that many people didn’t make it. The lives of so many innocent people were lost.

A terrorist organization, Al-Qaeda, claimed responsibility. It was the doer of the deed. We attempt to get into their heads,  trying to make sense of their intentions – it can’t be done. It is necessary to  find these to be evil acts.  These were murderers.  The hijackers died, but they were not punished. Many of the leaders, especially Osama Bin Laden  have been killled, but they have not been punished. These people should have been punished.

The allies went into Afghanistan and waged war, toppling the Taliban, a regime in a failed state, harboring Al-Qaeda,  The cost has been huge. Many soldier lives were sacrificed.  There have been several notable subsequent attacks, foreign or home-grown, in many countries.  Many further civilian lives have been lost.  Now 10 years later, the world is still, very much, in a defensive mode.  Gettting on a plane is still very difficult – high security is ecessary. There have been many complaints about “patting down”.   The announcement about the killing of Bin Laden, the master-mind of the 9/ll attacks, finally came. President Obama got it done, but there was no relief. The number two also was taken out, and still no relief.   There still is a fear that other attacks might happen.  Word is that Bin Laden had plans for another attack on the tenth anniversary.  New York and most of the world are on high alert.  The war against terror goes on.

There has been one controversy after another: what to do with ground zero,  the building of a mosque in lower Manhatttan, the deteriorating health of the 9/11 first responders. (The US Congress just recently passed a bill covering their care.)  

But I really want to talk about the people.  I pray for those who left us so suddenly.  I pray for the victim families. Last week on a morning show, a lady along with her children, talked about how they want to put the tragedy behind them and move on with their lives.  From 9/11 victims fund, both of the children were given scholarships to study in Great Britain.  They both took advantage of the offer and got a good education.  It’s nice to know that these folks were provided for and are gaining success. That makes me feel good. And while I am brought to tears by the heroism of average people, so many heros, their selfless sacrifice … I am stregthened in my belief in people, their goodness. I thank you all who gave so much from the bottom of my heart. 

In closing, I recognize that our world wide global village is getting smaller. No matter where we live, we were all witnesses to 9/11, the worst and best in humanity. The aftermath is just more of the same – the best and worst of what humanity has to offer.

Ground Zero refused to be the abyss. Instead, in a flash, it turned into holy ground and in 10 years,  it has become a place for a memorial garden and a construction site where the new World Trade Center is proudly being erected –  proof positive that good does indeed beat evil. We don’t forget, but togther we move on! 

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
ALP

PREVIEW (now, tentatively Monday, September 24th 2012):   Calling all flirts. We’ve got to talk! I’ll start first. As you know, flirting can be by body language (non- verbal) or with words (verbal). Non-verbal flirting is critical to catch his eye.  But if you want to reel him in, verbal flirting is crucial (I think that you will agree with me that most men need a push). If you’re interested in finding Mr. Right, why not come by? I’ill be here. Maybe he will also.

PREVIEW (now, tentatively Monday, September 17th 2012): I will return to the romance theme. I am hearing a lot about Fifty Shades of Grey by T.L. James. I say: “Now, that’s a VERY spicy  meat ball!” I want to add my two cents to the discussion. (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on dating, relationships and marriage.) 

P.S. Big News: Did you see my new Home Page … check it out! Please tell me what you think. There are more big changes coming to my blog – please stay tuned. 

P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com –   saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit  www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta 

*TM/© 2010, 2011, 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
===================================================================================================

ORIGINAL POST – Vol. 1,  No. 14, September 12th, 2010———–

MY LIFE & TIMES*

This weekend, on the anniversary of 9/11, I got to thinking about that fateful day. I would like to share with you some of my experiences and thoughts.

Since I start work at 8:00 a.m., I was in the office when I first heard the bulletin. I will always remember that moment. It is one of the significant days of my generation. In the instance of the deaths of Pres. J.F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy, Dr. King, etc. and the walk on the moon by Astronaut Neil Armstrong and the fall of Saigon, I was younger and not quite part of the adult world. But with 9/11, I was of age and I had to deal with it.

It was approximately 10:00 a.m. when people were slowly trickling into my work space to discuss the tragedy. I could not quite believe it. I kept thinking that the TV pictures were from a horror movie not the news channel. When I kind of digested what had happened, it kept getting worse. I desperately wanted it to stop. Like everyone, I did not then know, how it would escalate and play out. It marked me along with the entire world.

STATISTICS/STUDY
Here are some stats:
Overall
*The victims numbered about 3,000;
* There were 19 hijackers who died;
World Trade Center
* There were 2,752 victims of which there were: (a) 343 firefighters; (b) 60 police officers from New York City and the Port Authority; (As per  the New York State Health Department, 836 responders died as of June 2009.)
* Most were civilians, including nationals from more than 70 nations;
* People in the 100s were killed instantly upon the planes crashing into the the towers, while many of the others were trapped and died after the buildings collapsed.
* About 200 +- jumped to their deaths;
* There was one secondary death, from lung disease due to dust from the building collapse;
Pentagon
* At Pentagon, there were 184 people who died.
(Source: Commission Report, Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, etc.)

THE AUTHOR: 9/11 Commission
The 9/11 Commission – its formal name is the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States. It was established on November 27, 2002. Its mandate was: “to prepare a full and complete account of the circumstances surrounding the September 11, 2001 attacks, including preparedness for and the immediate response to the attacks”
(Source Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia).

SERIES/COLLECTION
There are many books on topic; as for example, notably:
1.  “New Pearl Harbour” by David Ray Griffin;
2.  “ The 911 Commission Report Omissions and Distortions” by David Griffin;
3. “Crossing the Rubicon” by Michael C Ruppert;
5. “Towers of Deception” by Barrie Zwicker;
(N.B. These books are enumerated for your information – I am not recommending them and I do not necessarily subscribe to their conclusions.)

THE BOOK: Commission Report 911 by Commission National (Hardcover – Aug 30 2004)
It is a comprehensive document, fact-filled narrative of the real story, step-by-step, playing out in several locations involving many people. It is both heart-breaking from the immense tragedy and uplifting due to the heroic acts of ordinary folks meeting the challenges and becoming shining stars of the righteous. Read and endure, but also rise to the heavens. It is an impressive read, which will surely move you. You will finish it with an opinion of what was good and what was deficient in the U.S. response.

CONCLUSION
The 9/11 tragedy affected all of us emotionally. For me, I felt numb because of the innocent people at work killed for no reason. I also felt fear. But in the end, I felt hope out of courage.
The point
It was a horrible event. I will not deal with the policies – I will leave that to the governments. I will not deal with the politics – I will leave that to the politicians. I will not deal with the issues of the military – I will leave that to the top brass and the officer corp. But I will deal with the human side.
1. First, people perished that day – I remember and will never forget. I also acknowledge the tours of duty served and the supreme sacrifice of brave American, Canadian and other NATO soldiers in Afghanistan. etc., and I affirm my heartfelt gratitude and support.
2. Second, families lost loved ones – I extend my deepest sympathy and express my personal wish to stand with them to provide never-ending succor.
3. Third, there were heroes – I pay homage to these brave people.
4. Fourth, because of an appointment or a stop at a grocery store or  just missing the bus, arrivals were delayed until after the tragedy had started; and as a result, lives were incredibly spared. When I heard some of the stories that were revealed later, it confirmed my belief in destiny – I believe.
5. Finally, I encourage each and every person who survived 9/11 to extend a courtesy to one another regardless, of nationality, creed, religion, etc. – I have faith that, someday, the world shall overcome the cause of 9/11 and we all shall live in harmony.

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
CREDITS
-Web Tech:  richmediasound.com
The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
*TM/© 2010, 2011, 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

——————————————————————————————————–
ANNEX I: NEED SOMETHING FURTHER?, TRY AN ANECDOTE OR A QUOTE:

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Al Jazeera

“President Mubarak of Egypt was on an official visit to Qatar and asked to be shown the network [the fiestily independent Arab television network, Al Jazeera],” an Iraqi employee once recalled. “He arrived unannounced and at first the guys on the gate didn’t recognize him. When he finally got inside, he was appalled at how small we were. ‘So this,’ he said, ‘is the tiny tinderbox that started such a big fire.’”

[“Whatever we do, people say, ‘Why are you doing this now?'” Al Jazeera’s Ali Mohammed Kamal once remarked of Arabic culture of suspicion and paranoia. “They even said it when we did a story on the history of the Lebanese civil war. And when we ran a video of one of the 9/11 hijackers reading his own will before embarking on the attack, we were accused of distracting attentino from the [Israeli] siege on Arafat’s compound. [pause] But Arafat’s compound is always under siege. For us, the news is the news.”]
(Source: www.anecdotage.com) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=14709

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Tumbling Woman
“In 2002, officials at New York’s Rockefeller Center unveiled a sculpture called “Tumbling Woman” by Eric Fischl intended to commemorate victims of the 9/11 World Trade Center attack who fell (or jumped) from the towers’ windows. Following a host of complaints, “Tumbling Woman” was deemed inappropriate and promptly removed.”
(Source: www.anecdotage.com) –  http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=16181

S & R* QUOTE #1: President George W. Bush
“It changed my presidency …it was like walking into hell.”

S & R* QUOTE #2: – Aristotle
“Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil.”
(Source:  Wisdom Quotes) –  http://www.wisdomquotes.com/index.html#nq

ANNEX II
SCHEDULE I
“IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “World Trade Center (N.Y)”; “9/11 Attacks”; etc.

World Trade Center

“The original World Trade Center was a complex of seven buildings featuring landmark twin towers in Lower Manhattan, New York City, United States. The complex opened on April 4, 1973, and was destroyed in 2001 during the September 11 attacks. The site is being rebuilt with five new skyscrapers and a memorial to the casualties of the attacks. As of September 2011[update], only one skyscraper has been completed with four more expected to be completed before 2020. A sixth tower is still awaiting confirmation to be built. At the time of their completion, the original 1 and 2 World Trade Center were the tallest buildings in the world, surpassing the Empire State Building, also in Manhattan.

The complex was designed in the early 1960s by Minoru Yamasaki and Associates of Troy, Michigan, and Emery Roth and Sons of New York.[2] The twin 110-story towers used a tube-frame structural design. To gain approval for the project, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey agreed to take over the Hudson & Manhattan Railroad, which became the Port Authority Trans-Hudson (PATH). Groundbreaking for the World Trade Center took place on August 5, 1966. The North Tower (1) was completed in December 1972 and the South Tower (2) was finished in July 1973. The construction project involved excavating a large amount of material, which was later used as landfill to build Battery Park City on the west side of Lower Manhattan. The cost for the construction was $400 million ($2,169,167,354 in 2011 dollars).[3] The complex was located in the heart of New York City’s downtown financial district and contained 13.4 million square feet (1.24 million m2) of office space.[4][5] The Windows on the World restaurant was located on the 106th and 107th floors of 1 World Trade Center (the North Tower) while the Top of the World observation deck was located on the 107th floor of 2 World Trade Center (the South Tower). Other World Trade Center buildings included the Marriott World Trade Center; 4 World Trade Center; 5 World Trade Center; 6 World Trade Center, which housed the United States Customs. All of these buildings were built between 1975 and 1981. The final building constructed was 7 World Trade Center, which was built in 1985. The second King Kong was filmed in 1976 with some scenes mentioning and showing the World Trade Center. The World Trade Center experienced a fire on February 13, 1975, and a bombing on February 26, 1993. In 1998, the Port Authority decided to privatize the World Trade Center, leasing the buildings to a private company to manage, and awarded the lease to Silverstein Properties in July 2001.”
(Source: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Trade_Center

9/11 Attacks

“The September 11 attacks (also referred to as September 11, September 11th or 9/11[nb 1]) were a series of four coordinated suicide attacks upon the United States in New York City and the Washington, D.C., area on September 11, 2001. On that Tuesday morning, 19 terrorists from the Islamist militant group al-Qaeda hijacked four passenger jets.[3][4] The hijackers intentionally crashed two planes, American Airlines Flight 11 and United Airlines Flight 175, into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York City; both towers collapsed within two hours. Hijackers crashed American Airlines Flight 77 into the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia. The fourth jet, United Airlines Flight 93, crashed into a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, after passengers attempted to take control before it could reach the hijacker’s intended target in Washington, D.C. Nearly 3,000 died in the attacks.[5][6][7]
Suspicion quickly fell on al-Qaeda, and in 2004, the group’s leader Osama bin Laden, who had initially denied involvement, claimed responsibility for the attacks.[2] Al-Qaeda and bin Laden cited U.S. support of Israel, the presence of U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia, and sanctions against Iraq as motives for the attacks. The United States responded to the attacks by launching the War on Terror, invading Afghanistan to depose the Taliban, who had harbored al-Qaeda members. Many countries strengthened their anti-terrorism legislation and expanded law enforcement powers. In May 2011, after years at large, bin Laden was found and killed.

The destruction caused serious damage to the economy of Lower Manhattan.[8] Cleanup of the World Trade Center site was completed in May 2002, and the Pentagon was repaired within a year. Numerous memorials were constructed, including the National September 11 Memorial & Museum in New York, the Pentagon Memorial, and the Flight 93 National Memorial. Adjacent to the National Memorial, the 1,776 feet (541 m) One World Trade Center is estimated for completion in 2013.[9]”
(Source: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9/11

SCHEDULE II
STUDY/STATISTICS:

See above.

SCHEDULE III
S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: 9/11 activities for Canadians
(NC)—”The images and painful memories of the September 11 terror attacks may still be fresh on the minds of the families who lost loved ones—even though they occurred a decade ago. For the rest of us, the constant dose of discouraging news events—from natural disasters, civic unrest, heinous crimes, scandal-plagued celebrities, and sporadic eruptions of violence—are enough to desensitize us to the horrors experienced by victims on that fateful day.

To soften your heart to the every day realities of the Sept. 11 victims’ families and friends, consider taking part in one of these activities:

1 Write letters of appreciation to your local fire, police, and emergency services departments. Also don’t forget the service men and women who fight terrorism overseas. These individuals live lives of sacrifice. Remember to say “thanks”.

2 Act on compassion. Think of ways you can make positive change in the world. Share your talents at a seniors centre. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Help a child living in extreme poverty through Christian Children’s Fund of Canada. The opportunities are there if you are willing to act.

3 Embrace multiculturalism. On 9/11, countries around the world set aside their cultural differences to unite in sympathy over the thousands who perished. Do your part to promote peace by: reading biographies about notable country leaders who had a positive impact on their constituents; opening your mind and taste buds to ethnic foods; or learning a new language.

Participate in these activities to make 9/11 a lesson learned on compassion and sensitivity. Keep informed on landmark events that changed the world and do your part to improve your world.”www.newscanada.com “News Canada” <article@newscanada.com>www.newscanada.com”

*TM/© 2010, 2011, 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on September 10th, 2012 9 Comments

CAREER: Advancement, job, employment, agencies, courses, business, opportunities, etc. -I say let’s go!*

Vol. 3, No.21, Tuesday, September 4, 2012 

TITLE: “CAREER: Advancement, job, employment, agencies, courses, business, opportunities, etc. -I say let’s go!*” 

INTRODUCTION 

With Labour day having come and gone and now seriously back to work, I’m pleased that you came by the water cooler. I’m here thinking that a person working should recognize that tomorrow is the next day of the rest of his/her life. I also think he/she should take pause and think about the avenues from here and consider a fresh start and a vigorous effort, opening up opportunities workwise to … who knows where. Hence, my topic is Career – Moving up.  My book of the week is “The Pathfinder: How to Choose or Change Your Career for a Lifetime of Satisfaction and Success” [Paperback] by Nicholas Lore (Author) (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on general issues.)  

ANTOINETTE’S LIFE & TIMES* 

Young family/early career: At the start of my career I was eager to advance.  But, I also wanted a family.  I soon realized that I couldn’t do the both and give it my all.  Building my career was put on hold.  My daughters were my priority.  I put in a hard day’s work, but at the end of the day I went home to my kids. 

Grown children/later career:  Once they had grown, I started looking at the job postings so I could move up. Someone with a higher grade position in my office was retiring and I applied. But it was given to someone with better qualifications.  This gave me the initative to start thinking about self-improvement. I took courses: computer, language, English writing, etc. A few years later, the same position became available and at that point, I was approached with a job offer.  Opportunity knocked and I accepted it.  It took a while for me to feel comfortable in the new job; I soon started to like it.  One of the functions of the job was dealing with people and that was right up my alley.  You see: I am a people person.  

Retirement ever after: Last year after 35 years, I retired from an educational institution.  Hence, I’ve started a new career.  I’m happy to report that I am enjoying it.   

 THE AUTHOR: Nicholas Lore (Author) 

Nicholas Ayars “Nick” Lore has been called “a social scientist specializing in career design methodology”. In 1981, he established Rockport Institute, an international career counseling and research organization. In describing Rockport methodology, he was credited to having coined in 1984, the term “career coaching” [3][4] In 1998, Simon & Schuster published his first book, The Pathfinder: How to Choose or Change Your Career for a Lifetime of Satisfaction and Success. It was a U.S. bestseller.[10][11][12] In 2012, Simon & Schuster published a new edition He was recognized for excellence by two United States presidents.[16] (Source: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicholas_Lore)  

SERIES/COLLECTION 

Books/Articles: 

Several are: 

THE BOOK: The Pathfinder: How to Choose or Change Your Career for a Lifetime of Satisfaction and Success [Paperback]  by Nicholas Lore (Author)  

I am speaking to you if you want to achieve the ideal job in your current industry sector, re-career or go into business for yourself and you are also interested in learning:  

  • “how to design your new career step-by-step—a realistic, attainable career that fits your talents, personality, goals, and interests—a new career you will love “
  • “how to deal successfully with the “Yeahbut” negative thoughts and obstacles that keep you going back to the same old ill-fitting job, day after day”
  • “how to land the perfect job in your new field using personal marketing and networking (even for those who hate to network)”

If so, this book is a must-read, you will find the Rockport Career Design Method spelling out  the Rockport Career Design Method.  Also since this is the revised and new edition of the book, it is updated and improved.  It’s hands-on with self-tests and diagnostic tools.  This could be a powerful aid in your career development. 

CONCLUSION 

Working life is a major part of a life. For some, working means being on the job, sitting through the hours and doing as little as possible until shift’s end.  That doesn’t help make life good.  

For others, it’s about being productive, working well and hard and making something of oneself in the workplace; more… it’s about making a contribution. Further … satisfaction on the job contributes much to overall happiness and contentment. 

Personal Comments 

I say: 

  • That one never stops learning.   
  • That the more skills and qualifications you have, the better you look to those doing the hiring.   
  • That it’s essential to have an education, but it’s also necessary to put the education and training to use.
  • That being well-dressed with proper work-place outfits gives the right image to your employer.  I was taught that going into an interview well-dressed, will sometimes make a difference.   
  • That it is important for a woman to earn her own money.
  • That I always encouraged my daughters to have a career and climb the corporate ladder.  
  • That working hard is good; but being a workaholic is counter-productive. Everybody needs a break to recharge.

The Point 

Summer has come and gone.  We’re back, thinking of where our career will take us.  If at work, and you’re dreaming of being good, better or best, then today, take your first step down that road.  Let’s see where this will take you! You can make it happen. 

ANTOINETTE’S TIP SHEET*: Dos and Don’ts  

Everyone should: 

  1. Make a five year-career plan; in this regard, (a) Set goals; (b)  Update the plan  every six months;
  2. Be conscious of appearance; in this regard, (a) Dress for success – first impressions matter; (b) Be well groomed always;
  3. Be organized; in this regard, (a) Keep a work diary; (b) Strive for a clean desk; (c) Do your personal filing regularly and put files away when unneeded;      
  4. Keep learning – out-of-date is not good for moving up;    
  5. Strive to improve and upgrade one’s skills; in this regard, (a) Take a course, be it a two-day seminar or another degree. This will signify that you are a person who is serious about improving his/her qualifications;
  6. Have a good relation with your supervisor;
  7. Communicate with other managers and let others know of your skills;
  8. Be noticed by upper management;
  9. Be respectful of the sensibilities of co-workers;
  10. Be a self-starter and an independent worker, yet still be a team player;
  11. Remember, if it`s worth doing, it`s worth doing well;
  12. Work fast … like your job depends on it … it does;
  13. Finish what you start –being half-baked is not good;
  14. Watch the postings and apply to the ones that are of interest to you.

Everyone should NOT:  

  1. Want to be merely a face in the crowd at the workplace;
  2. Make critical comments about ethnic-national background, religions, etc. of others;
  3. Be someone who harasses others, whether psychological or sexual;
  4. Forget to make the coffee when it`s your turn; and buy your share of groceries;
  5. Be a clock watcher – instead work until what you`re doing is finished (within reason);
  6. Say that a task is not in my job description;
  7. Backstab others to climb the corporate ladder.

Do you want to be happy … whistling while you work? I hope so. Then why not learn to work better. You’ll also have to learn to whistle!  

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
ALP
“Books are life; and they make life better!*” 

PREVIEW (now, tentatively Tuesday, September 10th 2012):   

PREVIEW (now, tentatively Monday, September 17th 2012): I will return to the romance theme. I am hearing a lot about Fifty Shades of Grey by T.L. James. I say: “Now, that’s a VERY spicy  meat ball!” I want to add my two cents to the discussion. (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on dating, relationships and marriage.) 

P.S. Big News: Did you see my new Home Page … check it out! Please tell me what you think. There are more big changes coming to my blog – please stay tuned. 

P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit www.twitter.com –   saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: www.facebook.com – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit  www.linkedin.com – Antoinette La Posta 

CREDITS 

-Web Tech:  richmediasound.com 

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.
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NEED SOMETHING FURTHER? TRY SAVE AND READ* (S&R*) BACKGROUNDER: ANTOINETTE’S 1, 2, 3 & 4

ONE – “I SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT!*” – QUOTES
S & R* QUOTE #1: Eleanor Roosevelt 

“Life must be lived and curiosity kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) –  http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/)  

S & R* QUOTE #2: . – Rebecca West 

“Life ought to be a struggle of desire toward adventures whose nobility will fertilize the soul” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/)  

S & R* QUOTE #3: – Oscar Wilde 

“ I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.” (Source: Wisdom Quotes) – http://www.wisdomquotes.com/topics/life/) 

TWO – “IT WORDS FOR ME!*”
For today, my word/phrase(s) are: “career”; “ambition; “promotion”; etc… 

Career 

Career is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as a person‘s “course or progress through life (or a distinct portion of life)”. 

It can also pertain to an occupation or a profession that usually involves special training or formal education,[1] and is considered to be a person’s lifework.[2] 

(Source: Wikipedia the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Career 

Ambition 

Ambition is the desire for personal achievement. 

(Source:  Wikipedia the free encyclopedia – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ambition) 

Our analysis of the extent to which persistently low earners ultimately advance in the labor market, and how they manage to do so, reveals that  

  • Controlling for the characteristics of workers, smaller firms and/or those in

the retail trade and service industries pay lower wages than other employers. 

Worker turnover is also closely associated with wages: three-fourths of low-wage 

firms experience at least 100 percent turnover on an annual basis versus about one 

third of high-wage firms. 

  • Almost half of workers who persistently had low earnings from 1996-98

earned somewhat higher incomes in 1999-2001. Low earners who changed jobs 

during that time were considerably more likely to garner higher earnings in the 

latter period than those who stayed at the same job. 

  • Low earners were much more likely to increase their pay if they gained

Employment at a higher-wage firm. Low-earning white males improve their subsequent earnings more frequently than other groups because of their greater ability 

to gain employment at high-wage firms. Low earners who began working at “temp” agencies were also more likely to gain employment subsequently at highwage firms than were other low earners. 

  • Medium- and high-wage firms are more heavily concentrated in urban counties than in suburban or rural ones. Yet certain better-paying industries that employ large numbers of less-educated workers, such as construction and manufacturing, are located outside urban counties relatively more often than are other industries. 

(Source:  http://lehd.did.census.gov/led/library/techpapers/tp-2003-08.pdf) 

Promotion 

A promotion is the advancement of an employee’s rank or position in an organizational hierarchy system. 

(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promotion_(rank) 

THREE – STUDY/STATISTICS: 

About three quarters of all U.S. business firms have no payroll. Most are self-employed persons operating unincorporated businesses, and may or may not be the owner’s principal source of income. Because nonemployers account for only about 3.4 percent of business receipts, they are not included in most business statistics, for example, most reports from the Economic Census.

Table 1. Employers and Nonemployers, 2007  
   Firms   Estab-
lish-
ments  		 Sales or
Receipts
($1,000)  
All firms  27,757,676  29,413,039  30,738.533,467 
Nonemployers (firms with no payroll)  21,708,021  21,708,021  991,791,563 
Employers (firms with payroll)  6,049,655  7,705,018  29,746,741,904 
(Source: U.S. Census Bureau) –  http://www.census.gov/econ/smallbus.html) 

FOUR – BONUS ARTICLESS & R*NEWS ALERT*#1: Protection: main reason to hire a licensed lawyer or paralegal“If you are like most people, when you hire a legal professional you may take for granted you are dealing with someone who has the knowledge and skills needed to help you. But how can you be certain? The Law Society of Upper Canada, the regulator of lawyers and paralegals in Ontario, wants you to make sure you are protected by checking with them before you hire.To help explain how the Law Society protects consumers, Roy Thomas, director of communications, answered a few questions. What does it mean to be the regulator of lawyers and paralegals in Ontario?It means that lawyers and paralegals must have a licence from the Law Society to provide legal services to the public. To become licensed, they have to meet certain standards of learning and other requirements. The regulator also has programs in place to make sure lawyers and paralegals stay competent throughout their careers. Why should someone hire a licensed lawyer or paralegal?The main reason is to protect yourself. First, a licence means you can be sure the lawyer or paralegal is qualified to help you through the legal process. Second, if you have a problem with a licensed lawyer or paralegal, you can complain to the Law Society. Depending on your complaint, we may work with you and your lawyer or paralegal to fix the problem, or we may discipline the individual. In some cases, this could mean taking away the person’s licence.There are other protections, too. Licensed legal professionals are required to have insurance in case they make a mistake. They also contribute to a compensation fund that can help you if you lose money because of a lawyer’s or paralegal’s dishonesty. If you hire someone who is unlicensed, you don’t have this type of protection. Is there an easy way to tell if a lawyer or paralegal is licensed?The best way is to check the Law Society’s website, which has a searchable directory that lists lawyers and paralegals who are licensed to provide legal services in Ontario. Besides basic contact details, each listing indicates whether the lawyer or paralegal has been subject to discipline. It is free and easy-to-use. I urge everyone thinking of hiring a legal professional to check the directory first.More information about lawyers and paralegals is available online at www.lsuc.on.ca/find-a-lawyer-or-paralegal. “.|www.newscanada.comS & R*NEWS ALERT*#2: Job opportunities are abundant in agriculture“The world of agriculture offers endless career opportunities that more young people should look at taking advantage of. Ontario’s agriculture and food sector employs more than 200,000 people and has become the province’s biggest employment sector.According to the Ontario Agricultural College (OAC), the number of skilled jobs in agriculture is expected to rise by 10 to 20 per cent in the next five years in the province. And given that the career opportunities in agriculture are so diverse, there are jobs to suit a wide range of interests and skills. Some examples include: researchers, scientists, sales people, retail, grain companies and dealers, greenhouse vegetable producers, landscape horticulture suppliers, and financial organizations, to name just a few.While some recent post secondary school graduates struggle to find work, the demand for graduates with agriculture backgrounds outstrips supply. The OAC suggests that for every one graduate of the Bachelor of Science in Agriculture program, there are three jobs on the market.Employers are increasingly looking for people with experience in crop science, genetics, food science and laboratory sciences. It’s time that young people started seeing beyond the tractor when it comes to a career in agriculture, says the OAC. www.newscanada.com *TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

Posted by on September 4th, 2012 11 Comments