BEYOND ONLINE – THERE IS SPEED DATING: I consider the questions, rules, game, success rate, tips!*

Vol. 3 , No. 3, Monday, April 23rd, 2012

TITLE: “BEYOND ONLINE – THERE IS SPEED DATING: I consider the questions, rules, game, success rate, tips!*”


With spring in your step and romance in the air, I will talk about speed dating.  Can you find love at a speed dating event?  Apparently, some people do. My book of the week is “Surviving Internet and Speed Dating [Paperback]  by Joanne Schoenwald (Author) My topic is then dating of the speedy kind. I was thinking maybe some of you out there in Internetland are wondering what this is all about. If with an inquiring mind, stay put and I will give you a fast one …two. (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on dating, relationships and marriage.)

PREVIEW (April 29-30, 2012):

Next week, I will continue on with my romance theme, then turning my attention to the fix-up. The usual reaction to this phrase is to turn your nose up in the air as if you are smelling rotten eggs and to utter the exclamation, “Uggghh”. However, this is what everyone really wants, but no one will admit it. I say: “Let’s take the blind date out of the shadows!” (Editor’s Note: This is another post in a continuing series on dating, relationships and marriage.)


Although I was not against speed dating, I never went to an event.  My friends had participated on numerous occasions, but none found possible suitors.  On the contrary, they complained that the men who they met there were insincere and just wanted a good time. But I have done some research.

THE AUTHOR: Joanne Schoenwald

Joanne Schoenwald has worn many hats: teacher, massage therapist, office administrator, editor.  Now, she works as a holistic practitioner and workshop facilitator. Schoenwald writes fiction and non-fiction books.  She has a passion for nature animals, funny movies, good books and strawberry daiquiris.  She lives with her husband in Blackbutt, south-east Queensland, Australia. She is the founder and President of Charlie’s Angels Horse Rescue Inc.


Some of Joanne’s more notable achievements and publications:

  • Our Miracle Foal, published in the Spring 2011 issue of Equine News.
  • Top 10 finalist for the 2011 Finch Memoir Prize for the manuscript, Webs of Light, an account of Joanne’s 16 years spent with her horse and the way he changed her life.
  • Self-published Woodford Virgins, novel, on, 2011.
  • Horses as Lawnmowers, June 2010, featured in The Horse Report.
  • Shortlisted for the Text Publishing Prize for Young Adult and Children’s writing for her manuscript Wildfire 2009
  • The Power of the Positive (Writing Queensland, February 2009).
  • Winner 2007 One Book Many Brisbanes short story award for Not in Mitchelton
  • Australia’s Invaders 1 and 2 (high school resource books, Knowledge Books and Software, 2007)
  • Elephant’s Way (feature article, Australia’s Nova magazine, May 2008)
  • Daisy Philosophy 101: Canine Advice for Living Each Moment (feature article, Spheres magazine, May 2008)
  • My Life as a Technical Writer (feature article, Writing Queensland, October 2007)
  • Baby Love (feature article on aromatherapy, Affair magazine, September 2007)
  • Unleashed (anthology containing my winning short story, EmptyRedbubble 2007)
  • In the Moment (anthology containing my winning poem, Summer Afternoon Walk, Redbubble, 2008)
  • Eight book reviews (“Between the Covers”) for The Westerner newspaper, 2007
  • Sing the Rain (short story, Coppertales, USQ journal of rural arts, 2001 as ‘Joanne Hunter’)
  • Darkness Leering (short story, dotlit, QUT online journal, 2001 as ‘Joanne Jackson’)
  • Shortlisted for State Library of Queensland’s Young Writers Award for Carriage Hopping, 2001
  • Shortlisted for the Tourism Queensland Cultural Tourism Award for Young Australian Writers for A Spirit of Fire, 2000 


·         Surviving Internet and Speed Dating by Joanne Schoenwald (Paperback – Jan 1 2008)

THE BOOK: Surviving Internet and Speed Dating by Joanne Schoenwald

Internet is one means to find your soul mate. Speed dating is another. This author gives  you a dose of reality plus hints and tips simply said. Go for it!


What is it? It is a singles’ event held in restaurant or hall, where tables are set up as stations, with one woman seated at each table and men circulate from table-to-table staying 3-10+- minutes with each woman.

Who are the attendees? Speed dating is very popular with young people. 

What are the benefits? Several are:

  • There is no guessing game with speed dating.  People are there looking for romance, probably to select a mate.
  • If your goal is to meet a number of potential suitors in a short time span, this is the way! It is a quick solution to dating … short and sweet with each candidate.
  • The “date” is short and brief.  This could be a blessing if you find the person dull and boring. 

What is the cost? Usually a bit pricy but really depending on whether there is a hall, meal, etc.


In this fast-paced world, speed dating is another way to find your future one and only. 

Personal Comments

 I say:

  • It is a priority for many to search for someone special. It can get lonely. I know … been there … done that.
  • If you’re always on the run and don’t have time to mingle and socialize, speed dating is a good way to go. 
  • Does speed dating work?  There is a possibility that it could work, but then again, it could also fail.  
  • Some feel that attendees are desperate and lacking. I do not agree.
  • For those who go to speed dating events, both men and women, their first requisites for a mate is physical attraction.
  • Next, it is what they say and how they carry themselves.
  • Considering that a person makes a decision in the first 30 seconds, a mere 3-8 minutes could be very stressful. 

 The Point

 The more events that you attend, regardless the kind, the better the chances of meeting the match you’re looking for.  


 Everyone should:

  1. Be open-minded
  2. Be realistic

Advance Preparations 

3.      Prepare some intellect questions before going to a speed dating event. Don’t appear tongue-tied, nervous or quiet.  This could be an instant turn-off.

4.      Dress appropriately

At the event

5.      Be confident

6.      Be positive

7.      Show a sense of humor

8.      Smile

9.      Be on the ball every second to make a good impression.

10.  Go with your gut feeling

If you’re not interested in a date, how about a fig? Seriously though, even if you don’t find him or her there that night, you might find out something about yourself … you might even enjoy an evening out and have some laughs. What are you waiting for?

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours?*
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
P.S. Big News: There are big changes coming to my blog – Please stay tuned.
P.P.S. #1 I have a TWITTER page. Consider becoming a follower? Visit –   saveandread
P.P.S. #2 I also have a FACEBOOK page. Consider becoming a friend? Visit: – Alp Save Andread – please check it out.
P.P.S. #3 I am on Linkedin. Consider becoming a connection? Visit – Antoinette La Posta
*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.


S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #1: Bachelor Blooper

“On the way to a star-studded function in Los Angeles one day, Drew Carey found himself in a limousine with several other celebrities, among them Jim Belushi, who asked him about his show’s move to a Monday night time slot (after NFL football). Carey explained that the hit reality dating show “The Bachelor” had assumed his old Wednesday night slot. Then he went off on a rant: “Can you believe this guy?” Carey fumed. “25 women to choose from – some of them educated – and he chooses the two blondes with the biggest tits! One he slept with1, one he didn’t.. and of course, he picked the one who slept with2 him…”

At last a man sitting beside him interjected: “Actually, that’s not how it happened at all.” Carey, never one to back down from an argument, disagreed – until the man’s identity became embarrassingly apparent. It was the bachelor!”(Source: Anecdotage) –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #2: Double Date
“Burgess Meredith once found himself on a regrettable date with the actress Dorris Bowdon. Though the evening (actually a double date with Mary Healy and Franchot Tone) was pleasant enough, Bowdon spent the entire time singing the praises of the witty screenwriter Nunnally Johnson, whom she had met (and incessantly flirted with) during the shooting of The Grapes of Wrath (1940). At last Burgess took her home. Instead of kissing her, however, he simply offered a word of advice: “Get thee to a Nunnally!”

(Source: Anecdotage) –

S & R* CHOICE ANECDOTAGE #3: Date with Destiny?
“On April 11, 1917, Soviet leader Vladimir Ilyich Lenin called the U.S. consul in Switzerland and spoke with Allen Dulles (then a junior diplomat). Russia, Lenin explained, was contemplating withdrawing from World War I and signing a treaty with the Germans.

Dulles, who had a big date that evening, asked Lenin to call back in the morning, when the office officially re-opened. Incredibly, Lenin’s message was never delivered to Washington…(Source: Anecdotage) –

S & R* QUOTE #1: – Franklin P. Jones

“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) –

S & R* QUOTE #2: Peace Pilgrim

“Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) –

 S & R* QUOTE #3: Sam Keen

“Love isn’t finding a perfect person. It’s seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”

(Source: Wisdom Quotes) –

“For today, my word/phrase(s) are:  “speed dating”; “matchmaking”; “arranged marriage”

Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process or dating system whose purpose is to encourage people to meet a large number of new people.

Matchmaking is the process of matching two people together, usually for the purpose of marriage, but the word is also used in the context of sporting events, such as boxing, and in business.

An arranged marriage is a practice in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of the persons to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship.

(Source: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia)-


“Its origins are credited to Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish HaTorah, originally as a way to help Jewish singles meet and marry.[1][2][3] “SpeedDating”, as a single word, is a registered trademark of Aish HaTorah. “Speed dating”, as two separate words, is often used as a generic term for similar events.

The first speed-dating event took place at Peet’s Café in Beverly Hills in late 1998.[1]

Men and women are rotated to meet each other over a series of short “dates”, usually lasting from 3 to 8 minutes depending on the organization running the event. At the end of each interval, the organizer rings a bell, clinks a glass, or blows a whistle to signal the participants to move on to the next date. At the end of the event participants submit to the organizers a list of who they would like to provide their contact information to. If there is a match, contact information is forwarded to both parties. Contact information cannot be traded during the initial meeting, in order to reduce pressure to accept or reject a suitor to his or her face.

Unlike many bars, a speed dating event will, by necessity, be quiet enough for people to talk comfortably. Speed dating is for singles.

There are many speed dating events now in the United Kingdom, Canada, and the United States.

A 2006 study in Edinburgh, Scotland showed that 45% of the women participants in a speed-dating event and 22% of the men had come to a decision within the first 30 seconds. It also found that dialogue concerning travel resulted in more matches than dialogue about films.[8]

A 2006 study at the University of Essex and the IZA in Bonn [13] into the relative effects of preference versus opportunity in mate selection showed, while concluding that opportunity was more important than preference, that a woman’s age is the single most important factor determining demand by men. Although less important than it is to men, age is still a highly significant factor determining demand by women.

The same study found that a man’s height had a significant impact upon his desirability, with a reduction in height causing a decrease in desirability at the rate of 5% per inch.”

(Source: Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia)-

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #1: 5 Smart ways to improve your relationship by Maja Begovic

“Whether you’re dating or have been happily married for years, here are five simple ways to make your relationship even better, no matter where you are in your romantic journey.

Recognize what’s important to your partner. Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. On the flip side, it’s also important for your partner to recognize your wants and for you to state them clearly. Constantly giving to others at the expense of your own needs builds resentment and anger.

Keeping outside relationships and interests alive. No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too.

Change it up. Act out of character you can easily get into ruts. If you find that you are repeating patterns, step back and break it up. Be somewhat still unknown to each other. We are hardwired as humans to like mystery and be intrigued by it. There is an excitement that comes from anticipating and not knowing.

Find something you enjoy doing together. It can be a shared hobby, a dance class, a daily walk or volunteering. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life. Get involved with a local organization like Christian Children’s Fund of Canada ( and help improve the lives of children and families living in poverty around the world.

Connect as a couple and rekindle love. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together. Commit to spending quality time together on a regular basis. Even during very busy and stressful times, a few minutes of sharing and connecting can help keep bonds strong.

Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you get back.”

S & R* NEWS ALERT* #2: Romance report confirms we’re never too old for love

“Seniors are setting the record straight: love and romance aren’t just for the young. In fact, seven in 10 seniors over the age of 75 say they’re never too old for love.

This is one of the key findings of the Revera Report on Romance, which surveyed older adults aged 75+, Boomers and Gen Yers, to find out about their expectations and experiences with social interaction as they age including love, romance and companionship.

The Report found:

Only 38 per cent of Boomers and Gen Yers believe love and romance will still be very important when they are over 75, compared to 88 per cent of seniors who say companionship is something they couldn’t do without.

Just as many seniors have romantic partners as 18 to 30 year olds (approximately 50 per cent for each group).

Senior men place higher importance on love and romance, with 83 per cent saying it’s important, compared to just 56 per cent of senior women.

Seniors’ positive outlook on love and romance is encouraging to see because they are both important aspects of social interaction, says Dr. Amy D’Aprix, gerontologist and an expert on aging. What many people don’t know is that remaining socially active can have a significant impact on your physical health, such as reducing your risk of developing dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. It’s also been shown to have a comparable impact on mortality as smoking and alcohol, and of course, there’s no question that it also contributes to happiness and emotional health.

Seniors themselves recognize that social interaction and having meaningful relationships can make all the difference when it comes aging. In fact, 98 per cent of seniors believe that keeping socially active is just as important to successful aging as good physical health.

A number of seniors share their stories and thoughts about love at”

*TM/© 2012 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved

This entry was posted on Monday, April 23rd, 2012 at 11:46 am and is filed under Relationships; Romance, Dating, Marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.


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