Vol. 1,  No. 11, August 22, 2010



Just between us, I was brought up in a wonderful home, great parents and three brothers, who you know, are brothers. I was the only girl. My mother was strict. I was taught the difference between right and wrong. I was also taught what was proper and what was not. I grew up. As a mother, I taught my girls good family values. I guess I am an old-fashioned girl at heart.

This week, the water-cooler conversation in many workplaces is about the statistics on infidelity as regards the revenue earned by the spouses.  Why? I would say – it’s a controversial subject.

News flash: “Report: Men unfaithful to women who earn more”

I was struck by the story by journalist Belinda Luscombe about a recent study.


Christin Munsch, a sociology Ph.D. candidate at Cornell University, made a presentation at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association. The subject study examined young adults, aged 18 – 28, living together or married for more than a year. Findings included the following:

* That  many women under age 30, living in the city and working in industries  requiring a college education, earn more than their male counterparts;

* That men earning less their female spouses are more likely to cheat;

* That men,  fully dependent on the incomes of their  wives,  were five times more likely to cheat than those who contributed to the household, an equal amount;

* That  men with incomes far exceeding that of their wives were also more inclined to cheat;

* That men with nil revenue cheat because they are unhappy;

* That men with revenue far greater than that of their wives  cheat because they could do so. Indeed, Christin Munsch stated: “Men who make a lot more money than their partners may be in jobs that offer more opportunities for cheating like long work hours, travel, and higher incomes that make cheating easier to conceal.” (Source: Luscombe, Belinda,  “Report: Men unfaithful to women who earn more”,  Time Magazine, Saturday, Aug. 21, 2010)

You need more figures, well here are some…

* 41% of spouses admit to infidelity; In this regard, I add:

– That given the secretive nature of infidelity, it’s hard to compile accurate statistics.

– That men are more likely to cheat than women. (However, this is changing as  independence is making women act more like men.)

– That the highest rate of divorces is in the medical field mainly with psychiatrists and marriage-counselors.

* 53% of marriages end in divorce;

* 3% divorce rate exists in arranged marriages;

* 2-3% of all children are unknowingly not raised by their biological fathers.

This was my starting point when I considered my subject book of today: Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin.


Emily Fisk Giffin was born on March 20, 1972. At three, her interest in writing first emerged. At six, she wrote, “The Funny Pandas and the Messy Room”.  She went to law school, became a lawyer and worked at a major Manhattan law firm. Disliking  the practice and ultimately quitting, she turned to writing as a career.  She is married and has three young children, two are twins. She lived in Atlanta, Georgia.


Other books include: “Love the One You’re With”, “Baby Proof”, “Something Blue” and “Something Borrowed”. She writes about infidelity in her books.

THE BOOK: “Heart of the Matter” by Emily Giffin

About the book

In “Heart of the Matter”, there are two leading role women. BUT HOUSTON- WE HAVE A PROBLEM! One is married to a doctor – a mother’s dream. To her, a cheating mate means the woman should blame herself  for the mate’s infidelity and her need to forgive regardless.  The other lead lady is a lawyer and single Mom and disappointed in the past, she does NOT expect much romance-wise. Houston – watch out, it then gets intertwined!


My personal comments

This book gave me the opportunity to think about infidelity.  I assert:

1. That one of our commandments is “You shall not commit adultery”.

2. That there is not much difference between men (57%) and women (54%) when it comes to admitting to infidelity.

3. That cheating is very destructive in a marriage.

In my view, cheating is an extreme violation of any relationship. It all comes down to how moral a person is. Infidelity can be either physical or emotional. As Dr. Phil has said on his show, “If he’s doing it with you, he’ll do it to you.” Only one in five couples having an affair will end up in marriage. Women are more likely than men to forgive a spouse who had a physical affair.

The point

Let us be clear – if I have something to say…I say it…. plain talk straight from the hip. I am mad – I HATE cheaters! To this, I add:

– Don’t cheat – if you want out….leave!

–  Women listen up! Expect fidelity. If your mate cheats…it’s NOT your fault – it’s his weakness and his repsonsibility.

– Finally, to achieve one’s aim of a strong relationship, both spouses should embrace fidelity. Indeed, honesty and trust spell happiness!

Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *



-Web Tech:

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*” program.

*TM/© 2010 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 23rd, 2010 at 12:32 am and is filed under Relationships; Romance, Dating, Marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.


18 Responses to “MEN CHEAT ON WOMEN EARNING MORE:I am mad – I HATE cheaters!*”

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  2. Andrea Says:

    Hi Antoinette,
    So so true what you say about men and women equally cheating and equally needing to learn the morals of fidelity. It’s not JUST SEX, as many cheaters claim in their defense. It is a breach of trust and trust is the foundation of the marriage or partnership of equal value.

    I need not say anymore on this as you have said it so clearly and eloquently and obviously did your homework.

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