Vol. 1,  No. 31, January 23, 2011


My book of the week is: “The War of the Roses” by Warren Adler (Author). Hence my topic is divorce of the 3rd MOST brutal kind! (Editor`s Note: For today`s post, there has been a format change!)


For today, my word/phrase(s) are:  “divorce”, etc.


“Divorce (or the dissolution of marriage) is the final termination of a marital union, canceling the legal duties and responsibilities of marriage and dissolving the bonds of matrimony between the parties. In most countries divorce requires the sanction of a court or other authority in a legal process. The legal process for divorce may also involve issues of spousal support, child custody, child support, distribution of property and division of debt.”
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce


Divorce rate (per 1,000 population aged 15 to 64 years)
                              2007    2005
US                          5.4%   5.4%
Canada                              3.2%
UK                                     3,9%
(Source: US Census ) -http://search.census.gov/search?q=cache:D3w4SLXKgKwJ:www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2010/tables/10s1300.xls+divorce&output=xml_no_dtd&ie=UTF-8&client=default_frontend&proxystylesheet=default_frontend&site=census&access=p&oe=ISO-8859-1



Long ago, my Aunt and Mom told me about a wedding horrror story. The groom was giving his speech. He started by saying that he had recently been informed that his new bride was having an affair with the best man.  He had hired a private detective to investigate his future wife’s fidelity. The result was devastating.  He asked the guests to look under their chairs.  He had pasted to the seat a picture of his new wife (in a romantic way) with the best man.  A fight broke out between the groom and the bride’s brothers.  The police were called.  The wedding party was over. This was the ultimate revenge.  Last year, as I was driving to work, I was listening to the radio.  The announcer was doing a special on urban legends.  A young lady called in to recount a story that everybody thought was an urban legend but in fact was a true story.  She was at the wedding.  It was the same story that my Mom and Aunt had told me. Apparently. the couple got an annulment after the wedding.
N.B. This a TRUE story! (Source: Antoinette’s My Life and Times*)

NO. 2 “Divorce Follows Fancy Knife Work – The Lorena Bobbitt Story”*

“John Wayne Bobbitt (born March 23, 1967 in Buffalo, New York) and Lorena Bobbitt (née Gallo) (born October 31, 1970 in Bucay, Ecuador) were an American couple, married on June 18, 1989, whose difficult relationship gained worldwide notoriety for an incident in 1993 when Lorena severed John’s penis with a knife. The penis was subsequently surgically re-attached.

In 1995, after six years of marriage, Lorena and John divorced.”
N.B. This is a TRUE story! (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_and_Lorena_Bobbitt

NO. 3 “Divorce Follows Conviction for Adultery!”* 

“In 2008, she was convicted of adultery, for an affair she admitted having with a singer. Her husband, Park Chul (박철), a radio talk show personality, sought the maximum sentence of two years’ imprisonment, while the prosecutors were seeking 18 months. Ok blamed her infidelity on a loveless marriage to her husband.[1] She was sentenced, in December 2008, to eight months in prison by a suburban Seoul court, but avoided jail because the sentence was suspended for two years.[2] In September 2008, a lower court had declared both partners jointly responsible for their divorce, and awarded custody of their eight-year-old daughter to Mr Park.[3]”

Ok had been trying to overturn a 1953 law that criminalises extramarital affairs and can send a person to jail for up to two years for adultery.[4] For this purpose she brought a case before the Constitutional Court of Korea, which ruled against the actress and in handing the decision said that society would be harmed if it overturned the law[2] and that the “two-year jail term is not excessive when comparing it to responsibility.”[1][4]”
N.B. This is TRUE but tragic story! (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ok_So-ri

NO. 4 Wallis Simpson: First Husband

“Edward VIII (who famously abdicated the throne to take her hand in marriage) was not Wallis Warfield Simpson’s first husband. Nor was he her most domineering.
“The young man who first caught her eye was Lt. Earl Winfield Spencer Jr., a dashing young aviator stationed in Pensacola, Florida. The couple was married in 1916, but it wasn’t a happy union. Spencer turned out to be an abusive heroinic with a jealous streak, who tied his fun-loving wife to the bed when he left their home to keep her from straying.”
[Sources: Biography magazine, July 2003]
N.B. This is a TRUE story! (Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=19048

NO. 5 DIVORCE PROVOKED BY READING: Bette Davis –  “Bette Davis Eyes”
“In December 1938, band leader Harmon Nelson was granted a divorce from Bette Davis. “She reads,” Nelson told the court, “to an unnecessary degree. She refused to put down a book even when company was present. On innumerable occasions, she absented herself from the room to pursue her everlasting reading.”
N.B. This is a TRUE story!  (Source: Anecdotage) –  http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=5557

NO. 6 “Divorce Follows Fraud Charge Over $3.5 Winning Loto Tkt: the case of the mother, daughter accused of stealing of husband’s $3.5 million lottery ticket – Sat., Oct. 4, 2008)”

“On April 4, 2008 Bobbi-Jo Arnold, accompanied by her mother Mary Patricia Moore and other family members, claimed a $3.5 million lottery ticket win in Toronto. On October 2 the two women were arrested by Ontario Police. Both are facing charges including fraud over $5000, possession of property obtained by crime, false pretenses and uttering a forged document. They allegedly stole the ticket from Moore’s then-husband.

The family dispute has led to Ms Moore (59) filing for divorce from her husband of ten years, Gerald Moore (81), in August. Mr Moore alleges Ms Arnold received the ticket from her mother, who took it from his bedside table. He further alleges his wife “manipulated” his medications to leave him incapable to grasp what was occurring. The Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corporation is also named in Mr Moore’s civil suit for alleged negligence in investigating Ms Arnold’s claim.”
N.B. This is a TRUE story! (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Mother,_daughter_accused_of_stealing_of_husband%27s_$3.5_million_lottery_ticket

NO. 7 Sweet Revenge For Little Errand Leading to Divorce

A friend also told me a ‘sweet’ revenge story. There was this husband, newly married, who one day told his wife that he was going to the corner store for cigarettes or some such. He never returned. This was the start of a separation leading to a divorce. But our heroine was indomitable and ingenious. You see, our wayward husband had left without his stuff; suits, shirts, etc. Then there was a day when Mr. came back to pick up these personal belongings. All went swimmingly or so he thought. But as the story gores, the other shoe dropped weeks later. This is when he first wore one of the suits. As I had heard the story, he supposedly did not have a good day as his pants split along the seam from the zipper all the way back up to the waist. What makes the story special is that this lady used a razor blade to lightly cut the seam before Mr. took possession of the suit. Since, it appeared wearable, he supposedly had put on the suit. It only split afterwards when he was out and about. The plan was that the seam would break for the maximum embarrasment.
N.B. This is a TRUE, but a somewhat tragically humorous story!  (Source: Antoinette’s My Life and Times*)

NO. 8  “And Two Makes Four – Shania Twain, personal life (update)”*  

“Twain married music producer Robert John “Mutt” Lange on December 28, 1993, and they have a son, Eja D’Angelo (pronounced “Asia”) who was born on August 12, 2001. On May 15, 2008, a spokesperson for Mercury Nashville announced that Twain and Lange were separating after Lange had an affair with Twain’s best friend, Marie-Anne Thiebaud.[42][43] Their divorce was finalized on June 9, 2010.[44] On December 20, 2010, Twain’s manager confirmed that Twain was engaged to Swiss business executive Frederic Thiebaud, the ex-husband of Marie-Anne Thiebaud.[45][46] They married on January 1, 2011 in Rincón, Puerto Rico.[47]”
N.B. This is a TRUE story! (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shania_Twain

NO. 9 Wedding Gift?
Shortly after her newly-divorced husband, Louis Calhern, married Julia Hoyt, Ilka Chase found a package of visiting cards bearing the title: “Mrs. Louis Calhern.” Rather than see them wasted, Chase had them wrapped and mailed to her successor, along with a curious note: “Dear Julia,” it read, “I hope these reach you in time.”
[Sources: T. Fuller, Worthies of England]
This is TRUE story! (Source: Anecdotage) – http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=8700


“Living with Martha Stewart was no picnic for her husband, Andy. One Christmas, Martha flew into a rage after dinner. The problem? Martha disapproved of the “undecorative” green garbage cans which Andy was using to clear away the garbage. Andy later shocked Martha by announcing that their marriage was over. For Martha, the timing could not have been worse; she was then in the process of publishing a book – on weddings.”
This is a TRUE story!
(Source: Anecdotage) –  http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=17964

THE AUTHOR: Warren Adler

Born in Brooklyn, N.Y., Adler graduated from NYU. He was a war correspondant. Adler founded an advertising agency. This writer is talented. He was very much in tune with the domestic mindset and  in the “War of the Roses”, he got it right on. This book later a memorable movie found a big audience. Adler went West and adapted his novel(s) for the screen. He returned to NY.; I guess that you cannot take the city out this N.Y.boy.



Some of his books are:

  • “The War of the Roses”
  •  “Random Hearts”
  •  “The Sunset Gang story
  • “The Children of the Roses”
  • “Funny Boys”

The notables are:

  • ” The War of the Roses” (US -1989) The stars were Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, and Danny DeVito.
  •  “Random Hearts” was also made into a major movie
  • The Sunset Gang story collection was made into a trilogy on PBS.

THE BOOK:  “The War of the Roses” by Warren Adler (Author)

This is a story which starts with the classic opening: boy meets girl. The story then follows the girly rhyme: X and Y sitting in a tree – first comes love, then comes marriage and next comes a baby in a baby carriage. Then like many marriages, divorce comes next. But with the Roses, it goes extreme. The battle has no limits. They fight over possessions. The passion is mis-directed and winning becomes everything. It is so over the top, it appears to be a carricature. It might seem to be an exaggeration, but one cannot help thinking that it can and does get this bad in real life. The book works for me as I can see how divorce can go so very bad. It has a moral. First, divorce is not a competition. Revenge has no place in the equation. It should never become a war.  Nobody wins. It’s lose lose.  

(N.B. The married couple’s family name is Rose.The title comes from history – the UK of the Middle Ages when two houses of nobles fought against each other, The title suggests that divorce between ex-spouses is comparable to a real war.)


Divorce happens… more often in higher proportions than we are comfortable with . Don’t let it become a war. Both sides are the losers.

My personal comments

A marriage breakup injures people. It can really hurt. This can and does provoke anger. Anger then can bring the need for retribution.  Sometimes couples focus only on revenge during a divorce. They feel they are the victims. Divorce can become a battleground, on which Mr. and Mrs. battle and they take no prisoners. But the ones that are truly victimized, are the children.

The point

Let us do better at divorce. For the sake of the kids, and also yourselves, you should work out the divorce settlement amicably.  I know, it’s easier said than done.   

My message is short and sweet –
1. Get real; see divorce for what it is the end of a marriage not a means of payback;
2. Be aware that bitterness and revenge can consume a person. The best revenge is to move on and make a good life for yourself.

3. Lose the revenge. Instead, take the high road. It’s better for the kids and also for you!
4 Compromise – getting a fair share is good;  
5  Make it a good divorce!
A bad divorce lives on and on; while a good divorce comes to a speedy end and you move onto a better life. Isn’t that what you really want?
Take it out for a spin and tell me if you agree.

And that’s my thought of the week on books, what’s yours? *
“Books are life; and they make life better!*”
-Web Tech:  richmediasound.com

The above is a new media production of Valente under its “United Author*”

*TM/© 2011 Practitioners’ Press Inc. – All Rights Reserved.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 23rd, 2011 at 9:17 pm and is filed under Divorce, Relationships; Romance, Dating, Marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.



  1. citymanual Says:

    Great Information as always!